If You Want to Be a Wise Woman, Seek Wisdom
Christian women have rebuked me for not backing up everything I teach by God’s Word, for my tone in writing, and for not writing about God’s grace more. “Certainly, your viral post about debt-free virgins wasn’t biblical at all. Where is God’s love, His grace, His forgiveness, and His mercy in this post,” they seemed to scream at me through the many articles written against me. I believe a lot of that post and all of my posts can be supported by Scripture. I am not writing to continually remind women of the amazing God we serve, His grace, and His love towards us. Yes, those are all VERY important and women do need to know these things but they also need to learn wisdom, common sense, and truth as they walk through this life.
Most women don’t have a lot of wisdom these days. They don’t learn it in the public schools or universities, that’s for sure. They don’t learn it from Hollywood or most music, even most Christian music. Many don’t even learn it from their parents or churches. Where are they to learn it? From the Word of God, godly men preachers/teachers of the Word, and those who are older than them and have experienced a lot of life, like me, an older woman. This is God’s plan, not mine.
A man who goes by the alias Wintery Knight wrote about my viral post the other day. I loved this one comment he made in the comment section of his blog when someone mentioned that many Christians disagreed with my post. He wrote, “I think wooden fundamentalists are not going to be able to understand what Lori is saying. The issue isn’t what the Bible says. The issue is what strategy should a wise person use in order to achieve what the Bible says. And that’s where wise people will consult studies on how premarital sex affects marriage quality and stability and studies on how outstanding debt affects divorce rates. There are studies on this, and conservative millennial won’t find them in the Bible.
“Nobody who takes a half-baked, feelings-based approach to marriage likes to look at what studies say, but this is how you engineer a successful marriage. Read the studies, adjust your decision-making, and achieve what the Bible says to achieve.
“Also, I couldn’t care less about Christians who are offended by the tone of Lori’s article. And I think that’s the majority of Christian women. To me, it just goes to show the approach that women take to marriage. I’ll do whatever I want, however unwise, and some how it will work out – and if it doesn’t, how dare you judge me? Doing what feels good and not being judged for it is the sum total of most women’s understanding of how to approach marriage. But it’s not wise, and it’s not working for them.”
It seems that most young women don’t want to learn from older women. We’re old-fashioned and don’t understand the present culture. I do understand the female nature. I know that many young women still want to be attractive to young men, thus the debt-free virgin post. I know that sex has a strong pull and many are living together before marriage, thus the post Stop Living With Your Boyfriend. My goal is to teach women biblical womanhood because I know that God’s ways are best. I have made mistakes in my life so I teach from those, the experiences I have had, the wisdom and common sense I have learned, and from the Word of God.
Yes, God does forgive every single sin we have ever committed or will commit the moment we believe. Yes, His grace is sufficient for each day and He will carry us through whatever trials we are facing. Yes, His mercies are new every morning. Yes, we can do all things through Christ who strengthens us BUT He still wants us to obey Him. He wants us to grow into the image of Christ. We will still reap what we sow. I am only trying to teach women to sow good fruit in their lives on a daily basis and through each season of life by making good and wise decisions when they are young. It’s better to live without a lot of regrets and without the consequences of bad choices made in one’s youth.
Flee also youthful lusts: but follow righteousness, faith, charity, peace, with them that call on the Lord out of a pure heart.
2 Timothy 2:22
19 thoughts on “If You Want to Be a Wise Woman, Seek Wisdom”
Christian women really need to truly seek God’s Word for wisdom. If they really truly want to obey God, they will listen to what He is saying.
Amen! Listen to ladies who can teach you how to be a lady too. The radical feminists have bred a generation of embittered “nasty women”, we must fight back in how we raise our daughters!
You’re right, Regina. ALL wisdom comes from the Lord but I do believe there are reasons that God has elders teaching the Word in their churches and wants older women to teach the young women. I have read the Bible consistently from the time I was 18 years old, yet I was not a submissive wife to my husband for many years. I needed an older women (Debi Pearl) to tell me what this looked like and point out my wrong behaviors. I believe God uses the body of Christ to rebuke, encourage, and exhort each other because many times, we don’t see our own sin even if we are in the Word consistently.
A thousand amens! There are plenty of women blogs discussing the love and mercy of God, but I wish I would have learned wisdom even earlier. Jesus says in John 14:15 if we love him we will keep his commandments and in 15:14 that we are his friends if we keep his commandments. Doing God’s will is how we show our love to Him and how we love others.
It is not loving to owe people money. How is that in their best interest? And if it is a large institution you owe money to and they are collecting interest, how is throwing away of your money on interest benefitting God’s kingdom?
It is not loving to use our bodies that are to house the Holy Spirit to sin and cause others to sin by offering ourselves for sex outside of marriage. How do you love someone and cause them to sin? If we really loved our boyfriends we would love them enough to not willingly participate in their demise. But the fact is, we love ourselves more and prefer the “security” of having a male even if we have to wait on a hopeful marriage. These unwise women won’t tell you this.
It is not loving to mark our bodies that we are to be used to worship God in ways that worship and bring attention to ourselves. These unwise bloggers don’t know what love is. They are too self-centered.
I am SO glad there are wise women like you who tell the hard truths. I wish I had learned more even earlier.
Those women who hate wisdom and encourage women to only look for God’s mercy, where will they be when you are overwhelmed with credit card debt and student loans? Will they pay them off? Where will these women be when there is a pregnancy and no father around to take care of the baby? Or when you have STDs? Will they get your prescription and rub cream on you? Will they take care of you til “death do us part” when you make yourself so odious no Godly man will want you? No, they’ll be nowhere to be seen. You’ll be lucky if you get a prayer from them.
These bloggers hate women. If they loved them they would help them to lead better lives where they don’t have to deal with the fallout from sin. These self-centered women bloggers will be posing at the beach on Instagram with their beautiful family around them while their lack of Godly wisdom and advice leaves you financially strapped, dealing with discomfort, disease and/or infertility (STDs can be the cause of some types of infertility) and stuck with a tattoo of what started as a cute rose highlighting you pretty leg but now morphed into a fuzzy blue bouquet once you gained weight.
Now the serpent was more cunning than any beast of the field which the Lord God had made. And he said to the woman, “Has God indeed said, ‘You shall not eat of every tree of the garden’?”
Genesis 3:1
Hi Lori! You wrote “Yes, God does forgive every single sin we have ever committed or will commit the moment we believe.”
I’m wondering where exactly you read that in the Bible. I’m sure you have some proof texts, but there are many verses that indicate otherwise. I’m sure you’d agree we are to understand the Bible as a whole, and not take verses out of context.
Matthew 13 (parable of the sower) and 24:13
Romans 2:6-8
1 Corinthians 15:1-2
Galatians 4:9 and 5:4
Hebrews 6:4-6 and 10:26-28
2 Peter 2:20-22
1 John 2:3-4, 19 and 3:6-9
Revelation 2:4-7
Thanks!
Read Romans 6, Emily! It’s clear that the moment we believe, we are dead and freed from sin.
6 What shall we say then? Shall we continue in sin, that grace may abound?
2 God forbid. How shall we, that are dead to sin, live any longer therein?
3 Know ye not, that so many of us as were baptized into Jesus Christ were baptized into his death?
4 Therefore we are buried with him by baptism into death: that like as Christ was raised up from the dead by the glory of the Father, even so we also should walk in newness of life.
5 For if we have been planted together in the likeness of his death, we shall be also in the likeness of his resurrection:
6 Knowing this, that our old man is crucified with him, that the body of sin might be destroyed, that henceforth we should not serve sin.
7 For he that is dead is freed from sin.
8 Now if we be dead with Christ, we believe that we shall also live with him:
9 Knowing that Christ being raised from the dead dieth no more; death hath no more dominion over him.
10 For in that he died, he died unto sin once: but in that he liveth, he liveth unto God.
11 Likewise reckon ye also yourselves to be dead indeed unto sin, but alive unto God through Jesus Christ our Lord.
Hey Emily, thanks for the conversation as this is an important area of theological understanding for all Christians. Does the Bible teach we can lose our salvation or “once saved always saved?”
I suggest you take each of your passages listed above and ask yourself the question, is it possible that the statement is referring to those who started in the faith, may have thought they were saved, but never had true roots in Christ Jesus. It is a small but vital distinction to understand that there are indeed “tares amongst the true seed,” and many who will sprout up as if they have found Christ only to discover that their lives later do not reflect him but rather reflected the enthusiasm of the moment. They have come to count the cost and the costs were too great. These we do not believe were saved.
These are not “proof texts as you say, but rather proofs of what I am writing:
“They went out from us, but they were not of us; for if they had been of us, they would have continued with us. But they went out, that it might become plain that they all are not of us” (I John 2:19).
“Therefore, brothers, since we have confidence to enter the holy places by the blood of Jesus, by the new and living way that he opened for us through the curtain, that is, through his flesh, and since we have a great priest over the house of God, let us draw near with a true heart in full assurance of faith, with our hearts sprinkled clean from an evil conscience and our bodies washed with pure water. Let us hold fast the confession of our hope without wavering, for he who promised is faithful…”
“But we are not of those who shrink back and are destroyed, but of those who have faith and preserve their souls” (Hebrews 10:19-23, 39).
So who are the “we” in these passages if not the saved? And who are the others in the passage but the unsaved? It is pretty obvious that those who are saved can walk in full assurance of salvation just as the passage says, while those who are walking in sin should be afraid… not that they will lose their salvation, but as John says, “for if they had been of us, they would have continued with us.”
Does this not clearly say they were never part of us?
You have a real theological issue saying one can lose their salvation because what you are saying is that one can go into Christ and then back out and then back in again. That one can have their sins forgiven, no longer have their sins forgiven, and then potentially come back and be forgiven again.
Think of all the times it says that we are “in Christ.” Do you really believe that an unbeliever can enter into the body of Christ and be joined with Him? Then leave the body of Christ? Impossible!
It is far better to go back to your texts and read them with the understanding that the ones described therein have never been saved. They may have tasted of the Spirit and may have gotten excited about following the Lord, but as the parable of the Sower shows, they sprang up not to new life with deep roots in Jesus, but rather to a withered life that has no spiritual life force coming from the body of Christ.
One is in Christ or not in Christ and Christ knows who are his and how have been planted together with Him in the likeness of his death and resurrection to a new life as Lori posts above in Romans 6. Jesus says, “This was to fulfill the word that he had spoken: “Of those whom you gave me I have lost not one” (John 19:9). Will you believe Him at His Word?
Thank you, M. Most women today seem to enjoy having their ears tickled. Yes, God’s love and grace is amazing but He has also given us many principles to live by because He knows what is best for us, as you clearly spelled out. All of His ways are for our good. Why not warn young women about going the way of culture and where it leads so they will do otherwise? Where’s the harm in this?
I spent over 20 years in a strict Pentecostal. First and foremost was the salvation message, repentance, baptism by full immersion, receiving the Holy Spirit by the evidence of speaking in tongues. No smoking, drinking, swearing, absolutely no pre-marital sex. Yet, our pastors never taught us that the whole meaning of life for women was marriage and babies. They had no problem with women who worked, pursued higher education, couples who had only 1 or 2 children. It wasn’t seen as their business. Regular church attendance was. And women were never allowed to preach in any form. Once again you get different churches and different belief systems
I believe it is clear that the Bible teaches unequivocally one can lose their salvation. In fact there are examples of it in both the Old and New Testaments.
Here is an example of a convert who is in danger of losing his.
Now when the apostles who were at Jerusalem heard that Samaria had received the word of God, they sent Peter and John to them, who, when they had come down, prayed for them that they might receive the Holy Spirit. For as yet He had fallen upon none of them. They had only been baptized in the name of the Lord Jesus. Then they laid hands on them, and they received the Holy Spirit. And when Simon saw that through the laying on of the apostles’ hands the Holy Spirit was given, he offered them money, saying, “Give me this power also, that anyone on whom I lay hands may receive the Holy Spirit.” But Peter said to him, “Your money perish with you, because you thought that the gift of God could be purchased with money! You have neither part nor portion in this matter, for your heart is not right in the sight of God. Repent therefore of this your wickedness, and pray God if perhaps the thought of your heart may be forgiven you. For I see that you are poisoned by bitterness and bound by iniquity.” Then Simon answered and said, “Pray to the Lord for me, that none of the things which you have spoken may come upon me.”
Acts 8:14-24
In both the Old and New Testament God says “And the Lord said to Moses, “Whoever has sinned against Me, I will blot him out of My book.” and “He who overcomes shall be clothed in white garments, and I will not blot out his name from the Book of Life; but I will confess his name before My Father and before His angels.
There is no blotting out of a Book of Life if a name isn’t written in it in the first place.
I agree Lori, it is hard when you aren’t raised in a Godly home or Church to know what the bible means when it says to ‘submit’ to your husband, ‘love your husband and children’ and more. It’s a hard road to navigate on our own and we need mature Godly woman who have lived it and can be an example of what it looks like to live as a Godly wife and mother. Just as Jesus is an example to live our lives. I’m so thankful for the Godly woman who have influenced me to be a better wife and mother. If you are truly seeking the truth and want to grow then these teachings won’t be offensive.
With the exception of a handful of conservative Mennonite women, Lori is one of the only women in ALL of modern Christendom who publicly teach the traditional role of biblical womanhood. Please don’t stop, so many of us benefit from hearing these things for the first time. A woman faithfully doing what she was told to do in trying to rear up younger women to do likewise.
Hosea 4, the whole chapter is good, but verse 6 is most memorable: “My people are destroyed for lack of knowledge: because thou hast rejected knowledge, I will also reject thee…”
Until “Christian” women embrace God’s established order of benevolent patriarchy, the world will continue on the path to self-destruction.
There are men among the various branchings of conservative Baptist denominations who turn men towards traditional biblical wisdom regarding gender roles… for Reformed Baptist, there’s Paul Washer, and Voddie Bauchaum who faithfully teach the roles of men and women… Robert Breaker for “Bible Believing” Independent Fundamentalist Baptists is one of my favorites… there are also some conservative Mennonites, and conservative Plymouth Brethren. Outside of that, you rarely see anyone teaching/advocating/living traditional gender roles in modern Christianity. Women rebel against that teaching, because there’s more world in the church than church in the world. Very few men want to challenge them on it out of COWARDICE, and there are even fewer women with the spiritual fortitude to speak painful truths.
I believe that the ONLY unforgivable sin is the sin of unbelief. Hebrews exhorts us to believe until the end. I also believe that true believers will believe until the end. “And to whom sware he that they should not enter into his rest, but to them that believed not? So we see that they could not enter in because of unbelief…For we which have believed do enter into rest…They to whom it was first preached entered not in because of unbelief” (Hebrews 3:18, 19 and 4:3, 6)
Yet, we have one Bible and one Truth. It’s tragic that the biblical roles aren’t taught in most churches.
This reminds me of when I was a girl, my church had a Wednesday night program called Pioneer Clubs. Our group was run by older women who taught us sewing and cooking and crafting, among other things. Sometimes we would have a missionary speak or something like that. We would learn Bible and memorize scripture. I’m not sure what the boys did, but it was a lot of fun for everyone. I would love if something like that would make a comeback! I’m still in the “young woman” category, but I so want to learn wisdom from an older woman and teach my children wisdom. I’m fortunate that my mom is godly and taught me things of God and domestic skills. I want to be that for my own daughter.
I went to Pioneer Clubs when I was young, Mrs. D, and LOVED it! I have completely forgotten about that since it was so long ago.
Gen 3:16, in laymen’s terms (some translations do a better job at capturing this than others):
The curse of this world will be WOMEN who are PRIDEFUL, and MEN who are COWARDS. A woman’s desire will be to rule over man, but it is man’s task to rule over her. How well is a woman is preparing herself for SUBMISSION to a future husband, to the point of referring to him as her LORD (1 Pet 3:6)? How well is a man preparing to RULE OVER his future wife with GRACE, to the point that he gives up his hopes and dreams and breath for her (Eph 5:25)?
The nature of a woman is pride. She must fight against her nature of being above reproach, shifting blame, a pious heart. She must fight against self-serving interests of increased standing in academia (1 Cor 3:19), the workforce (Tit 2:5), and socially (Gen 2:18).
The nature of man is cowardice. He must fight against inaction and laziness. He must fight against disengaging with his responsibilities as a leader (Jon 1:3), instead engaging the World as God commanded (Col 3:24), seeking His validation alone to the point where the World is against him (1 Kin 19:10).
Adam’s job is the World.
Eve’s job is Adam.
Women have specific callings. Men have specific callings. For women to assume a man’s role, and a man to surrender it, is abomination (Prov 31:3).
Both pastors and women’s groups should be equally preaching this, circling their own demographic’s wagons, and helping the other demographic better achieve their acts of obedience. Anything practice that is short of this, find a new church or study group immediately.
It’s so true. It is very hard for us. Amen.
I have to pray everyday against my own ‘black heart’
I grew up in a house where chaos was served daily. I used to think that marriage is what made my parents so miserable and chaotic. At 52, I understand it wasn’t marriage that made them miserable. They were miserable when they meet. Chaos and misery just became a part of the deal.
This caused me to avoid marriage.
Now, I look forward to meeting the man God intends on me spending my life with.