His Battle With and Victory Over Sexual Immorality and Lust

His Battle With and Victory Over Sexual Immorality and Lust

I, Pastor Joseph, received this letter from a brother in Christ who wanted to share his battle with and victory over sexual immorality and lust while calling both men and women to join in with this battle. I believe this heartfelt letter should move us to a love for God’s design for sex and for personal holiness. I hope that men will be encouraged in their battle with temptation and I pray that women will be convicted to love modesty and chastity because they love God and love their neighbor.

Dear Brothers and sisters in Christ,

The first recollection I have of sexual immorality springing forth in my life I recall like it was yesterday. At around eight years old, I became aware that there was something “different” about men and women as a teenage girl, who enjoyed sunbathing in her brown and tan bikini for all the little neighborhood boys to watch, caught my attention one summer. At the time I didn’t know what it was about her, but knew there was something there to be conquered, something I desired.

As I grew older, my innocent curiosity grew, and I received a typical Southern Baptist education regarding relationships between men and women: I was taught that sex was a big NO. There was no explanation that a healthy sexual relationship between a husband and wife was how God designed men and women. Sex was painted as off limits, taboo, and dirty. Guess how this reprobate young boy came to view sex in that environment? As this dirty, dark venture to be engaged in as an act of defiance.

Fast forward about four or five years. Spending the night at a friend’s house, I enjoyed my first beer, and my first glimpse of what would be recognized as hardcore pornography. Thirty years later, I can still recall the scene that played out in my friend’s living-room on his big screen TV. I was lost, and the years of innuendo, sexually suggestive entertainment, and ignorant wonder exploded with that one glance. My sexual desires found an outlet that would dominate my thoughts and physical existence for decades.

“But each one is tempted when he is carried away and enticed by his own lust. Then when lust has conceived, it gives birth to sin; and when sin is accomplished, it brings forth death” (James 1:14). Though temptations were everywhere, I had no one and nothing to blame but myself and my own sinful desires. I was now firmly planted on this path. Do not fool yourself into thinking that since no smut magazines, pornographic DVDs, or garbage over the internet comes into your home, that you have created a safe space, free from sexual perversion.

All forms of media and entertainment are filled with what 20 years ago would have been called pornographic. Even more than that, the men in your life are quite adept at finding sexual stimulus wherever their eyes roam, hidden away in their minds. Your husbands, sons, and brothers are oftentimes incapable, and willfully incompetent to discern this sin. God created men with a desire for sex. When utilized in accordance with God’s created order, one man, one woman, in a monogamous relationship as husband and wife, this sexual appetite can be used for good, God’s glory. But venturing outside of this design has horrific consequences.

In high school, I found myself looking for teenage girls that would be the women found in the average smut magazine. I had a small collection of porn of my own by this time, which fueled my increasingly perverse desires. Friends viewed by my parents as “good” boys helped fuel this downward spiral. Bad company corrupts good morals….unfortunately, I had no good morals to begin with, because I was a lost little boy, yet was considered to be a “good person” by most.

Two years into my stint in the military, my porn collection and appetite had grown to a footlocker full of sexual immorality, and had expanded to strip clubs and prostitution. I was totally in bondage to my sexual sin, yet I didn’t even realize it. A contributing factor was the increasing amount of young women who found liberty in their sexuality, displaying it for all to see, and oftentimes all too willing to assist a lost, sin-ravaged soul down the broad road to destruction. Ladies, each of us will have to stand before God on judgement day and give an account. Men before God giving an account for their lusts, and women giving an account for their contributions to it. Men must be self controlled, a fruit of the spirit, but lest you think women bear no responsibility, please consider Proverbs 7.

My time after the military was no different, but a new wrinkle was added to the mix: marriage. By this time, I came to realize that my sexual appetite dominated me, but felt powerless to stop. Every. Single. Woman I saw and met became sex objects in my mind. Looking back, deep inside I hoped that marriage would save me. That I would marry this woman, and she would finally satisfy every wicked lust I had. What I had looked to for peace (marriage) became an object of resentment which wound up fueling even more sexual immorality. Jesus said if you even lust with a woman in your heart, you are guilty of adultery in your heart. My sin had moved from mental adultery to full blown, out in the open for everyone to see, depravity. Five years in, my marriage was in shambles. My cold dead heart was destroying the woman I promised to love till death do we part. Looking back, it was only God’s grace that kept us together.

I continued into a spiral of pornography and drunkenness, attempting to fill my life with a myriad of “manly” activities to hide my growing effeminacies and mountain of sin. Around 11 years into my marriage, I found myself tired of running from God, knew I was a hopeless sinner, and knew I had nowhere else to go. I believe it was sometime that year that God opened my eyes, helped me see my sin and its end, and I cried out to Him for mercy. Help Me! And He answered. Forgive Me! And He did.

Yet the porn persisted. I came to realize that while it was true that I was saved and forgiven, I had to join Job in making a covenant with my eyes to not look upon a young woman. I had to be like David and allow no worthless thing to come before my eyes. For most of my life, I had been the foolish young man walking past the door of the adulteress woman, foolishly believing that I could toy with hot coals and not get burned. “It’s just one glance, just one TV show, just one click of the mouse.” God called me to another path. A path of warfare.

Putting your sin to death is the name of the game. Cutting off hands, plucking out eyes, and doing so in the power of the Holy Spirit is the only hope for men and boys trapped in this sin. God transformed, and is still renewing my mind day by day to realize that sex, like every good and perfect gift, is from God. He has taught me that it is our sin soaked hearts which pervert this good thing He has given us. Men must take responsibility for their sin. They must own the desires of their heart, and obey God’s command to flee sexual immorality. Ladies, your husbands, brothers, friends, and sons are weaker, and more susceptible to sexual sin than you can imagine.

As if our own sinful flesh isn’t enough, men and boys contend with Satan’s lies which say, “God is withholding good from you,” and a world full of women who have been influenced by the scourge of feminism. Sisters, we need your help. Help us to love our wives. Help us to love our sisters in Christ. Help us not have to avert our eyes in church. An aspect of this sin involves not causing another to stumble. Your language, eyes, and dress can all be contributors to sexual immorality, however, this does not negate the responsibility of men and boys to guard their hearts and eyes from sexual perversion.

Ladies, a call for you to live and dress modestly isn’t a call for you to live as prudes, in bondage to men who cannot control their passions, but rather a call for you to reserve your sexuality for the man blessed to be your husband. There is nothing more beautiful than a Christian woman exercising her Christian liberty by seeing that she is not a cause for stumbling among her brothers. Christian women, we do need help. We are called to turn back those stumbling to the slaughter, to bear one another’s burdens, and I can assure you, those trapped in this sin, struggling with it, and waging open warfare against it, are in danger of stumbling to the slaughter and carry a tremendous burden hidden by shame, guilt, and pride. The men in every area of your life need your help.

“Your lust isn’t my problem” you may be tempted to say.
What about your son or husband?

“I have liberty to dress in a way that I deem moderate.” Fair enough.
Does this liberty give you license to sin?

“Why this message, in this format, at this time?”

Because brothers and sisters, the Church of Jesus Christ is being ravaged by sexual sin, and it often seems that it’s only “those other people” who are impacted. We cringe at the thought of God’s created order being subverted by female “pastors.” We scoff at those who would twist scripture and hold up homosexual behavior as a healthy alternative lifestyle. We become righteously indignant at the fornication and adultery that has divided churches and destroyed lives. We herald the gospel of Jesus Christ as the hope for those trapped in these sins.

We champion repentance, and demand accountability of all involved. But when it comes to the sin of lust, which often takes place in the dark recesses of one’s own mind, we often say, “Deal with it. I cannot help the fact that my presence and how I carry myself leads you to sin. Get your lust under control.” These men cannot without the gospel. They cannot without the church living out their lives in a manner worthy of their calling. We are called to bear with one another’s burdens, to lay down our lives for one another, and to consider others more highly than ourselves.

We don’t give a pass to sin. We make war with the sword of the spirit, with genuine Christian love not afraid of getting dirty, and with men and women saying together #metoo. We are all sin sick sinners in need of a Savior. I am a sinner saved by the grace of God, and I want to see men and women flourish in the way God has created them, in the place God has called them.

Flee fornication. Every sin that a man doeth is without the body; but he that committeth fornication sinneth against his own body.
1 Corinthians 6:18

***Here’s how TheJoyFilledWife won her husband from pornography.

22 thoughts on “His Battle With and Victory Over Sexual Immorality and Lust

  1. Yes! So true. I have often felt bad for men in today’s world because of how women act. I don’t even like to take my son to the mall because of advertisements. He’s getting to the age where the pools will become a problem.

    My husband and I did learn from a preacher who grew up with a father who owned 5 porn stores how to “look” at women who engage in immodest behavior. Ever since then my husband tells me it has made all the difference in his mind. I don’t recall all the preacher said (my husband has a memory like a steel trap and probably does) but I do remember it involves translating the image given by the women to instead see a hurt and broken person. We watched some videos of ex porn workers trying to help others leave the industry and it was so paradigm changing. I know in Proverbs we are shown that the immoral woman has death in her house. It would be helpful to re-represent in your mind seductive images or people as the most horrible, excruciatingly painful death imaginable because that is the actual truth.

    I know some men are successful at rerepresenting enticing imagery as something painful by wearing rubber bands as bracelets. Whenever their minds interpret a seductive image as good or enticing they pull the rubber band and snap their wrists hard. Eventually the brain starts new groves that associate porn as pain. Apparently this has about an 80% effective rate.

    I’d love to hear any other helpful tips as I have to help my children navigate through this.

    1. Hi M
      I don’t have any helpful tips as such – but my oldest son is almost 16. We go to the pools on a regular basis so potentially is exposed to scantily-clad girls and women. So far, it hasn’t even been an issue. My husband and I are firm believers in “it’s not an issue so don’t make it one”. We’re hoping that by him learning that this is how worldly women dress, that he will grow immune to it and not take any notice of it. Kind of along the same lines as forbidden things being attractive *because* they’re forbidden – immodest girls/women are everywhere and we don’t take any notice of them. We feel that not letting him go to the pools etc. because there are girls in swimsuits/bikinis there, is going to make him notice them more. Right now, he’s too busy having fun at the pools with his mates to take any notice of what the girls are wearing and because he’s used to seeing girls dressed like this, we’re hoping he will continue to just not take any notice. We’re worried that if we suddenly start pointing it out and stopping him from going, that he might suddenly start really looking, and really noticing, and become lustful. Does that make sense?

      At the same time, we’re teaching our family values of modesty and sex being something for marriage only, but without making a big deal out of immodestly dressed women/girls we see. After all, it’s the things that are “bad” that are tempting. Things that aren’t even commented on, or noticed by other men in the house (make sure Dad isn’t ogling women walking down the street!) are just part of life, rather than something to be desired.

      1. … my oldest son is almost 16. … is exposed to scantily-clad girls and women. … Right now, he’s too busy having fun at the pools with his mates to take any notice of what the girls are wearing … We’re worried … that he might suddenly start really looking, and really noticing, and become lustful. Does that make sense?

        Maybe to a women. LOL Obviously you’ve never been a 16 year old boy. If he is not really noticing the scantily clad girls, you might want to take him to a doctor and have his hormone levels checked, there could be a problem.
        I presume he does actually notice them, but feels especially uncomfortable discussing that with his mom, and even his dad. Since he has learned there are “Things that aren’t even commented on” and is sure not to be caught “ogling women” just like how his dad is discrete.

        My husband and I are firm believers in “it’s not an issue so don’t make it one”.
        Just not discussing things, won’t prevent your son from developing a drive for sex. If you parents don’t discuss it with him, he’ll get all his instruction from his mates at the pool. Is that really what you want?

        We’re hoping that by him learning that this is how worldly women dress, that he will grow immune to it and not take any notice of it. LOL By that logic, pornography should be its own cure. Show him undressed women to make sure he’s immune, and not curious. /S LOL If he ever did become immune to his own sex drive for women, that could make for real problems in his future marriage, if he ever found another strong compelling reason to even want marriage to a woman.

        Have the uncomfortable parental talks with him, otherwise he will only learn rubbish from the TV and worldly society, in absence of your instructions.

        1. Oh Elias you have absolutely no idea.
          I never said my son doesn’t “notice” girls – I said he doesn’t “take any notice”. Big difference! He definitely *notices* girls – he’s got a girlfriend – but he’s fully immersed in society where girls dress immodestly. He goes to public school, he walks down the street, he has an after-school job, he watches movies etc. Immodestly dressed females are just part of his every day life. No big deal for him.

          I’ve shared on this blog before that although my husband does believe, he isn’t willing to be a follower of Christ right now, and he smokes and has other vices/addictions/battles, so our children aren’t being raised in a sheltered environment, as children from your average home-schooling Christian family might be. That is why what works for us may not work for M or anyone else, but it’s working for us right now.

          I’m not sure where you got the idea that we don’t discuss things with our kids. We do. All the time. We have open and honest conversations. When I said “it’s not an issue so don’t make it one” I was referring to the habit some Christian families use of turning away, or purposefully shifting their gaze, when a woman walks by in togs or something equally revealing. Right now, scantily dressed females are a dime a dozen, so common they are nothing out of the ordinary, and he doesn’t pay any attention to them. I guess because he sees them so often. If it *was* an issue – he was staring or having problems or whatever, then we would deal with it.

          I know he has seen pornography at a mates house, he told me. And the discussion that followed afterwards was very enlightening – he understands that the women who work in that industry are very damaged, just as M described above, and it’s a really unhealthy type of sex. We talked through some relevant Bible verses – including Matt 5:29 – “if thine eye offend thee pluck it out…” and we talked about a whole lot of other relevant stuff. He knows that in our home, porn is not allowed, and why, and we very heavily monitor internet usage so if it does become a problem, we will catch it.

          And no, his father is not always discreet around immodestly-dressed women – he quite enjoys watching them walk by! He insists he’s admiring the view. (Not much different to the Brad Pitt posters that graced my bedroom walls as a teenager, I guess).

          I guess what I’m saying is, my kids lead a fairly normal life. We don’t hide them from stuff. They’re not sheltered from the sins of the world. They see them, they learn about them (through discussion), and they learn why God’s ways are better.

  2. Wow! Very eloquently written. Definitely, this should give a sister in Christ pause to really think about how she can help in this area. Modesty in females really needs to be re-evaluated!

  3. While it is women’s job to not give men things to look at that they should not be, it is men’s job to not look at an immodest woman. If we are engaged in our business, and avoid places where immodest people of both sexes congregate, i.e. the beach, gym, and swimming pool, we have an easy time of it. The desire never leaves, and has to be vigilantly monitored. Mortifying and crucifying the flesh is a lifetime endeavor that never ends until the last breath leaves our lungs.

    However, the rewards for containing sexuality in marriage are quite amazing. Sex in marriage alone is like a warm fire in the fireplace, that gives warmth and comfort to all who behold it. Sex outside of marriage is like a raging wildfire, threatening to consume all who come in contact with it.

    C.S. Lewis, the author of the Narnia Chronicles, wrote a beautiful allegory of dealing with lust. https://www.covenanteyes.com/2009/04/20/cs-lewis-on-lust/

    America’s greatness and freedom depends on the virtue of it’s men and women. We understood this 100 years ago, but now corruption and foolishness is exalted, and virtue is ridiculed and scorned. Was just studying Isaiah 5 last night and it said that people are destroyed and enslaved for a lack of knowledge.

    Yesterday’s article, by the Wintery Knight was phenomenal. Have read him before, and his insight is amazing. There is something about the insight of a man who is self disciplined, and who avoids drugs, alcohol, and all sex outside of marriage, including masturbation, that gives him wisdom and virtue that other men simply cannot attain without purifying themselves first. Sadly, our nation is so broken, the young women actually cherish broken men, and are afraid of wise and virtuous men. Kind of makes sense. Most of women have fathers who are broken, so they look for men like their fathers. They look for men who they can control and who will agree not to have children, rather than for a man to lead them spiritually and intellectually, and who will provide and protect her and her children. How tragically shortsighted. Men are just as bad. They look for women who are broken, rather than the virtuous woman, who won’t try to please his carnal nature, but will love him as she loves God.

    Virtue is it’s own reward. When we do right, we feel good, and when we do bad, we feel bad. The Bible is the greatest illustrator of what bad and good is in human history, but too often, many let their feelings guide their moral compass, spurning the Bible, and they go down the road of destruction. ‘Rivers and men both run crooked when they follow the path of least resistance’ Thoreau

  4. If all women dressed modestly before marriage, there would be no pornographic content in existence for men to devour.

    If all wives actively, every day, fulfilled their husbands’ sexual needs, there would be no men supporting the prostitution trade.

    If all men made a covenant with their eyes, the pornography market would dry up overnight.

    If all husbands gracefully accepted their wives’ sexual gifts, there would be no women pumping trillions into plastic surgery and cosmetics.

    None of us can control the actions nor hearts of others within the World. But for sexual marital satisfaction, all it takes is yourself plus one other, of the opposite sex, to live accordingly.

    1. Brian – You write: “If all women dressed modestly before marriage, there would be no pornographic content in existence for men to devour.” Are you aware that 8 of the top 10 porn searches in the world are from Muslim countries like Saudi Arabia where the women dress very modestly?

      I don’t know what the answer to porn is. But it seems like modest dressing is not it. If that was the case, men from Saudi Arabia who are surrounded by covered women, and where porn is illegal, would not be interested in it.

      Also in these countries, women don’t have the option of refusing their husbands, but Saudi Arabia is a destination country for forced prostitution. Prostitution is punishable by death (although is usually prison or flogging) in this country, but it still happens – look it up.
      Why is this so, when the women dress so modestly and the women don’t deprive their husbands?

      1. That 6 out 8 porn searches come from Muslim countries is not true. It was Salon and other American papers who tried to sell it to the American and European audience. A lot of Muslims actually bought into this. Americans always swallow the pill. It is mathematically impossible for this to be the case. You can use Alexa, Google Analytics and so on and you soon understand the largest consumer (and producer of pornography) is United States (by far) both in per capita and total consumption followed by Western European countries and of course Japan. Japan is by the way a very peculiar and isolated county with a very distinct culture.

        The largest porn site in the world (and it is one of the largest sites in the world ranking 27) did a major study on their audience. You know what viewers were looking for? Women viewed lesbian pornography but also in a large extent for videos showing (obviously not real); “rape” and violence and scenes with a woman dominated by multiply men. Men (above 30) however searched for word associated with elder women in their own age. They searched for women who looked like their wives and girlfriends not young girls or strange sex (other than anal sex). Young men searched for women in own age and some older women.

        That indicates it is not pornography they want but their spouses – their wives, fiancées and girlfriends not other women. This is by the way the most common reason why men buy prostitutes. Yes, there are a small group of sex addicts and perverts but mostly it is just married men or men who look for intimacy they don’t get within marriage. As prostitute noted in a interview-study; “They really don’t want to be here – but with their wives”. If you ask men what they want in a marriage is respect, to be adored and a healthy sex life were the partners wants it. Sex for men is not just mechanical. They want their wife/partner to be “into it” – to love them – wanting them, desire them. Men have always has this dream of woman loving them unconditionally but women cannot love men this way as they are hypergamous – it is an bio-evolutionary trait – a selective behavior among women.

        If you didn’t know men are significantly more emotional than women – although it is expressed in a different way. A wife who rejects her husband (and many wives do as they are not attractive to them) will devastate him and he will consummate pornography. A few men will even buy prostitutes. Think about it; a man is hard-wired by nature to protect, provide and safe-guard their spouse. What would be the point if this woman he loves above everything did not love him? Being a husband would mean very little beyond reproduction. We are not lions but humans. Women sexual preferences and general behavior show actually show they are deeply confused.

        Think about it – women have been dominated (to use this taboo word) by men forever until the 1960s when they were told (by everybody) that the only way of being a woman is to be “free from a man”. This is kind of interesting because women are biologically inclined to be submissive to men – in particular men they are attractive to. Under pressure she will also submit to men she not attractive – if he has power over her and for women (if you didn’t know this – power is attractive for women). Most women (and I don’t talk about white women in Western countries) just roll over like you see in the animal kingdom.

        You see this among women in third world countries. They do what they are told to do or their man will beat them. Even worse divorce them and take the kids from her. She will end up on the street and if you have been to a third world country – you do not want to be on the streets at night. Now, white women have never really been treated like this. Far from it – even the Romans and the Greeks was pretty “nice” (in relative term) to their wives – at least compared to what was going on in Asia, African and Mesoamerica. Northern Europeans have always valued women and children very high before and after Christianity Throughout history white women have enjoyed enormously amount of freedom, liberties and love from their husbands and they still do. You seldom see a white man (Christian or secular) who would hurt his wife or children. They adore them – which white women (Christian or just culturally Christian) seem to get an also seem to use as an excuse to mistreat their husbands and boyfriends.

        Outside the Western world white men from Western countries is hold in high regard. Why do you think white men marry pretty Asian women? They even marry African women not to mention women from Latin-America. They at least value the freedom, liberties and love white men give to them white women obviously don’t. You see this here in Denmark. Perfectly good ethnic Danish men around 30-35 years old have given up on Danish women and go to Thailand or Philippines to find a wife. Women now have close to the same number of sex partners then men (the median indicates women have significantly more sex with various partners – mostly from one selective group of men). Women do not consume as much pornography but is highly on the rise. About 1/3 of all viewers are women. It is a variation between Western countries but it goes up.

        Healthy women are biology able to for having upward 14-15 children over a life-time. Obviously 14-15 children are medically too many but going back to the 1950 and women had 3-4 kids which more or less all women very safely can give birth today. With modern technology few mothers and children risk anything. Pretty reasonable one would say but 3-4 kids are viewed negatively across the West. Women are apparently “chained” by their children. Women (and men) without biological children often become depressed and resentful but I guess this is what feminists want.

        Single motherhood has been on the rise for long. It seems to be celebrated by our society. Who is divorcing? Women of course, they now stand for 70-80 percent of the divorces. A young healthy man marries a young woman and 10-12 years she leaves him for another man (seldom someone better) or just to be “free” or that she has “fallen out of love” (I don’t get all sparkle so instead of working on our marriage I divorce you). What will the men do? They will in turn look for a younger woman which deprives a younger man from finding someone. Looking at female voting patterns? They are voting on the far-left, liberal and feminist parties across Europe and North America. Women seem to want all the perks of being a woman but want to give nothing themselves. I could go on and on looking at the decline of white women. It is not all women’s fault (in particular not working class and lower middle class women) but the elites fault.

        You want trustfully husbands who don’t watch pornography? It is so simple. A man wants sex from his wife. Not only as a function but men want to be desired by a woman (preferable his wife). They want you to take initiative to sex as you did when you first meet. Men sexuality goes beyond just sex. Men also want to be adored, want a woman who wants to work on their marriage, supportive, trustfully, loving, understanding (this is important) and want to be able to be emotional (and it is not expressed din the same way as feminists want it to be expressed). Most men – if you didn’t know are not “alpha males”. Once upon a time women were able to build men. They were trained by their mothers and grandmothers do built up men. They could make a “weak” man into a “strong man”. Once upon a time a man could honestly say: I was so successful because of my wife. Today, he cannot say that anymore.

  5. Lori,

    There are rules that young women (and older women) can follow to look “modest,” like high necklines, long hems, sweaters, thick fabrics, etc. However, what is the line between a young lady looking lovely and feminine to a woman’s eyes vs. what men may see? I have even heard a father say his daughter looks like a perfect angel, yet seen other men look at her quite lasciviously!

    I wouldn’t want to say women must wear a sack, or purposely hide that they have a waist or a backside, but how else is there to keep a man from noticing a trim waist, or perky chest?

    My point is that obviously we must not wear revealing clothing, and also be modest in our actions, but is there an appropriate way to “meet men halfway” without having to sacrifice femininity or totally hide the female figure God has given us?

    I would like to say I have mastered a modest, yet feminine, fashion, but I still get stares from men, yes “Christian” men. It seems only wearing a baggy shapeless dress (like a nun) is the only way to trick men into thinking I’m “fat” and thus they won’t have lust in their eyes. Unfortunately, my husband wouldn’t like me out on his arm in a brown bag!

    1. It’s easy to dress feminine and modest, Kate. Men are attracted to flesh and tight clothing. Keep most of your flesh covered up and your clothing not too tight. Men may still find women like this attractive (they most likely will, actually, because men are attracted to femininity) but it won’t be as nearly as strong of a temptation for them to lust.

  6. Montesquieu says: … it is men’s job to not look at an immodest woman. If we are engaged in our business, and avoid places where immodest people of both sexes congregate, i.e. the beach, gym, and swimming pool…

    Don’t forget “the workplace” where skinny jeans, leggings that look spray-painted on, blouses open three buttons down, and scoop neck and bra-revealing sleeveless tops are common.

    I know, I shouldn’t look (or at any rate I should pretend I don’t), but when there’s an elephant in the room it’s hard not to notice.

    1. Very true, Nick. Had two instances where women dressed like this and I politely brought it to their attention. World War 3 erupted in both cases.

      Minimizing one’s time around them is the way to go.

    2. Don’t forget to avoiding shopping and church and school functions also, if you want to avoid the clingy stretchy form fitting tights that are worn as pants now. Yesterday a cute lady in the store was wearing some light colored tights and kept bending over, into her cart, directly in front of me and my young sons. She had to stand on the bottom rack of her cart to do it. I got a good eyeful of her hoo-hoo.(not intentionally though, of course 😉 She had a young daughter with her too. Classy! Likely a single mom on the prowl, teaching her daughter “presenting”. We tried to ditch her, but she seemingly found us repeatedly and always seemed to find a way to wind up bent over in front of us.

      Our society is going down the toilet. The tights are only going to get thinner and more transparent, until they’re pointless, as we as a society continue to morally decay. It didn’t even get above freezing here yesterday. How is that clothing choice even justified in a woman’s mind? So…what is she going to wear when it gets hot outside? What will they have to wear next to shock us and push the fashion limits? My fear is that young boys growing up accustomed to seeing basically unclothed women all around them will not be turned on by it, like my generation would be. This compounds the already sharply dropping testosterone rates in boys and men, possibly due to the forced feminization of boys and men in society, outlawing and discouraging all the activities that once triggered the release of testosterone. They may become desensitized early, and lose the sexual aspect of their attraction to women. Which leads to much worse things:

      Romans 1:26 For this reason God gave them up to dishonorable passions. For their women exchanged natural relations for those that are contrary to nature; 27 and the men likewise gave up natural relations with women and were consumed with passion for one another, men committing shameless acts with men and receiving in themselves the due penalty for their error.

      Don’t say God didn’t warn us. While Churches are telling wives to wreck their marriage if their husband turns to porn when he is sexually defrauded, the women of the world are preparing to go naked in public. The metrosexual fools running the churches are still fighting God’s Patriarchy, and pushing for more Feminist rebellion and fail to see how they’ve ruined marriage and the relationship between the sexes in the process. They don’t fear God! They fear women. They are ashamed of God’s word. Women come to their churches dressed in ways a Hollywood hooker wouldn’t have even dressed a generation ago. And all those fools can think to do is tell men to quit invisible sins of the mind, while they are blinded to obscenery permitted openly in their churches that would have left my grandmother aghast.

      You can’t make this kind of foolishness up!

      I can’t get a church to even say a word to my wife who is frivolously divorcing me while attending there, when I asked them to, in the name of Jesus Christ. And apparently my wife isn’t the only woman they’re afraid to confront. The young exhibitionists that show up in skin tight clothing obviously haven’t ever been confronted by any leadership there, except possibly to thank them for coming. Lord, don’t count me with my unrighteous generation and their synagogues of Satan.

      1. Brother I’m sorry to read this. I truly enjoy your posts. I’m a local pastor in VA. Is here anything I might do to help?

  7. I am amazed at the amount of immodesty in the churches. It is rare if it is addressed in Sunday School lessons or through preaching. There are so many differing views of what is considered modest that it would be helpful if more churches took a stand to teach their congregation Biblical principles on this subject and how it can effect those around them. It can be confusing for mothers who are trying to set good examples for their daughters to see so many conflicting and often indecent dress in the House of God. Thank you Lori for your testimony and sharing articles that help us focus on God’s Word.

    1. The church I go to teaches modesty this way: It’s a heart issue. We need to have the principle of modesty fixed in our hearts, and once we have that, the practical application of modesty will be easy.

      An example was given (the male preacher who said this had been in the mission field in Pakistan for several years) of modesty in Pakistan vs. modesty in the western world and how they differ – so the practical application of modesty is different for times and cultures. But if we have the PRINCIPLE of modesty fixed in our hearts and it’s important to us and we pray about it, we will dress modestly.

      It’s pointless to say “this is modest” and “this isn’t modest” because modesty is in actions as much as clothing, so it’s a heart issue more than anything else. If the heart is right, the life will be right.

  8. Our pastors kept pointing out that bikinis and Speedos were not appropriate beach/pool wear. Every summer! Theg had to state that boardshorts were ok for men, and that the girls should have one piece with shorts and rash tops.

  9. One thing in the very beginning stuck out to me- the way sex was (or rather, wasn’t) taught in school. I live in the south where most schools teach abstinence until marriage.
    I strongly believe that teens, adults, and yes, even children, need to be taught about sex and their bodies. A ring and a wedding doesn’t automatically make someone emotionally and physically ready for sex, especially after hearing for decades how wrong it is. I would hope that churches have classes for engaged members on the topic.
    Sex should be fun and romantic and enjoyable for BOTH parties. But they also need to know how to tell if something is wrong, if their partner is being abusive, and that it is ok to say ‘no’ at times.
    (For example, I got pregnant on our honeymoon but the pregnancy was ectopic. I knew something was wrong because of the sex education I received. After the pregnancy ended it was not safe to have sex for a few months, until my hormones returned to pre-pregnancy levels. My husband was compassionate and understanding, and although I knew he wanted sex, he knew that would not be best or safest yet. He was devastated that we lost the pregnancy, but he also knew that my pain was even worse because it was my body that had felt it, lost it, and changed. I believe our marriage is stronger because of his understanding and love).

  10. In a hot climate, what would you suggest to wear for tops? Are top showing shoulders appropriate? Can 3/4 length jeans/pants be worn? I am not referring to tight pants. Thanks

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