Live Your Dreams. Forget Children.

Live Your Dreams. Forget Children.

Almost every young Christian woman that I have ever known has wanted to experience college, a career, and traveling which is simply another way to explain the feminist lifestyle. These were their goals. Very few of them ever said they only wanted to marry and raise children. The feminist lifestyle is not from the Lord. He never calls young women to go to college, pursue careers, and travel. No, He tells us that marrying and bearing children are what young women are called to do. Unfortunately, there are very few of us encouraging young women to marry and bear children and we are ridiculed when we do.

Read these sad words from Ellie Bufkin in her article People Told Me to Live My Dreams, But Never To Dream of Having Kids who heeded the mantra that feminism proclaims to young women everywhere, even those in the Church.

“Since I was young, I’ve heard a non-stop stream of encouragement for me, as a ‘modern woman,’ to take charge of my own life, live independently, and chase my dreams. This seems like the obvious advice we should give children, except that many people spent so much time chasing their dreams and creating their bespoke lives that they forgot to have children.

“While growing up in the suburbs, my post-scholastic dream did not consist of finding a partner and having babies. I wanted to see the world, experience many cultures, and live without having to worry about caring for anyone else. I ended up in a fast-paced career with a propensity for hard partying, late hours, and a taste for travel and luxury.

“As years ticked by, I assumed my perfect life would simply fall into place when I was ready, my career would steadily improve, and I would be swept off my feet by a perfect man. I had many friends with the exact same expectations for their lives, and today, we are pretty much all still single and childless.”

Then here are some wise words from Mary Pride in her book The Way Home and her views about having and raising children compared to the feminist lifestyle and lies:

“The real reason that couples are so attracted to family planning has nothing to do with the Bible. It has to do with fear. We’re afraid that we can’t afford a large family. We’re afraid that we wouldn’t be able to control so many children. Some of us fear that without family planning we would have to give up cherished parts of our present lifestyle…Have babies and raising them takes precious time away from their sadly shallow goals in life, which are, in the words of two evangelical feminists, ‘pursuing individualistic interests and making their own name for themselves.’

“We are the richest people in history, yet the most fearful about the costs of child-rearing. Perhaps it’s because we don’t realize how superfatted our lifestyles are, and how little our children really need in order to grow happy, healthy, and godly.

“What ‘freedom’ do babies cost us? Do they interfere with our freedom to love and serve God? No; they interfere with our freedom to indulge ‘the lustful desires of sinful human nature,’ as Peter puts it, ranging from common childish selfishness to full-fledged adult depravity.

“Overpopulation is the great excuse for feminist barrenness. More than that, it is a slogan used to persecute those who hold out against a feminist lifestyle. The word overpopulation turns a couple who are sacrificing time, money, and energy out of love for their children into ‘selfish’ people who are ‘aggravating societal problems.”

As the author of The End Time wrote: “Happy is the woman who unashamedly says ‘I am a wife.’ ‘I am a mother.’ If we are not ashamed of the Gospel, we are not ashamed of any element within it, including the role He has given us to reflect His glory and image. ‘Just a mom’? Might as well say ‘Just a Christian’ when in fact being a woman, a wife, or a mother is all, because we have all, in Christ.”

Lo, children are an heritage of the LORD: and the fruit of the womb is his reward.
Psalm 127:3

8 thoughts on “Live Your Dreams. Forget Children.

  1. Everything in moderation.

    I’m not going to lie…the picture of living frugally with seven kids wearing the stereotypical long jersey skirts (stop it, everyone.) Doesn’t do it for me. Largely because of the jersey maxi stretchy skirt though (not the kids!)

    That being said…I follow a lot of fashion bloggers and have followed the same ones for YEARS…

    You can see the insanity in their eyes.

    The only one who is a bit normal has multiple kids…and she looks so tired! Beautiful, but tired!

    That’s why even you Lori admired Kate Middleton and Melania…Kate especially has everything that a woman wants in life for fulfillment.

    So yes…everything in moderation.

    Buying thrift shop clothes for yourself is not necessarily something to be proud of…(I got my bathing suit and a pair of cute shoes just the other day from a thrift shop)

    There’s this self-sacrificing type of Christian mom that is just as dowdy and crazy as the most materialistic fashion bloggers.

    Other than the stretchy skirts…I love how the Duggar girls always have gorgeous hair and really make an effort to be physically attractive. It’s wonderful!

    You don’t need a lot of nice things…but you need a few…to make yourself feel better yes but even more importantly to be a proud role model to the outside world.

  2. Thanks, Lori. I’m so thankful I can unashamedly say I am a wife, mother, and keeper at home. It is a high and noble calling on a woman’s life—a life that is truly blessed with contentment and peace.?

  3. Hello Lori ?

    I love this post today- thank you. (I love all your posts, actually)

    I grew up with both my parents working. My mum was very ambitious, and although retired, she still finds something to study and pursue. Even though Mum worked full time (nursing) she somehow managed to get us to all our extracurricular activities. I learned to cook and ‘keep house’ early, as Mum was working, so the load had to be shared and since my brother was six years younger, the load fell on me. At one stage we had a live in ‘nanny’ for a year. While we knew beyond a shadow of a doubt that our parents loved us and were making sacrifices to provide for us, I recall thinking that I would never be like my mum when I got older. We only ever got her left overs emotionally, and that’s probably because she was exhausted trying to live two different lives- working and being a Mum. In my heart, I knew that if I ever married and had children, I’d want to be around at home for them. And I wasn’t even a Christian then, but deep in my heart, that’s what I desired.

    There was always a push to go to University. In fact, I ended up doing a degree which I don’t even use, because I ‘had’ to, according to my mum. She’s a strong European woman, and was somewhat controlling.

    I met my wonderful husband, found the Lord and we both agreed that I’d be a keeper of the home once we had children. To my amazement, my MIL ‘counseled’ me one day on my selfishness to want to stay home, and be a kept woman, while my poor husband worked all day.!!! Fortunately my husband ignored that.

    I’ve been a mum and at home for 19 years now. I never really knew what I ‘wanted to be’ when I grew up, but when I became a wife and mum, my heart was fulfilled. I’m doing what my heart knew all along. Society was trying to tell me something different.

    I’m a homeschool mum (of three amazing kiddos) as well. And sadly, I have felt the ‘pressure’ from well meaning people in regards to what my daughter is going to do next….she graduated 2 years ago. She took a gap year to have surgery, work and experience her community. My husband and I have never pressured our children to be or do anything other than what God is calling them to. My heart rejoices, because my daughter’s deepest hearts desire is to be a wife, and have many children. She is currently doing some courses and keeping busy- however all her activities are specifically and purposefully chosen so she can take them/use them in her ultimate goal of being a keeper of the home.

    My journey hasn’t been an easy one, because up until a few months ago, I wrestled with the pressures of the world about being a SAHM – even though I LOVE who I have been created to be. Subconciously, I never surrendered the lies. But praise Jesus for His Mercy, Grace and perfect timing. Leading me to your blog, book and wisdom (and the truth in God’s Word, which was taught to me as not relevant for this time!!!) I have finally been set free. And today, I am proud and unashamed to say, I am a wife and I am a mother!!!

    Thank you, Lori ??
    Liliane (Australia) xx

  4. This was so sad, and yet so common. I am 36, and I would say that a majority of my female high school classmates are unmarried and childless (even higher for the men). We have lived the doctrine we were taught – that is, pursue college and career at all costs, and totally ignore marriage and family. Marriage and children were NEVER, ever mentioned in “plans for the future” types of talks – it was always, 100% about “which career path do you want, and which college will you attend.” And now, at my age, it’s turning into “too late” for so many women.

    Lori, if you haven’t read “What to Expect When No One’s Expecting,” I think you would thoroughly enjoy it.


  5. I kind of know where you’re coming from, Kathy. As mom with many little ones, I do not like getting “labelled” by the outside world. So I try hard not to fit the “stereotype” they try to slap on me. 🙂

    I think Kate seems like such an amazing example of how you can be classy and beautiful as a mother, and not just “let yourself go.” (Well, I guess she doesn’t have much choice on that one, being royalty!) It only takes a second to decide to put on a cute dress instead of the sweats and tee.

    Some of the ladies on here might enjoy Jennifer L. Scott’s books and youtube channel as well. She is a wonderful inspiration to “look presentable always.”

  6. What about couples who struggle with infertility? IVF and adoption can be prohibitively expensive.

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