Men Fearing Marriage and the Courts

Men Fearing Marriage and the Courts

Eric Conn is a wise man. I share many of his tweets on my social media sites. Recently, he shared this one.

Joseph Spurgeon responded to this tweet by writing the following:

I agree with Mr. Conn, but I want to address one of the responses to his post. Someone argued that until we get solutions to the problems that men face in buying a house, dealing with courts, and getting better economic status, then how can we expect men or women to want to get married.

This might sound wise, but it’s worldly wisdom. Marriage and child bearing have always taken faith. This mindset that a man has to have everything together (a house he owns and a settled career) may sound wise, but is it biblical?

The Israelites under the yoke of slavery in Egypt were very fruitful. And again they were in bondage. Joseph and Mary were so poor that they couldn’t afford the lamb to sacrifice when Christ was born and therefore had to sacrifice turtledoves.

While it is certainly good to desire financial stability, we aren’t promised financial stability in this life. We aren’t promised the house with a big yard or the homestead. We aren’t promised the courts won’t be stacked against us. But we should still heed Scripture’s warning that it’s better to marry than to burn, or the Scriptural command to be fruitful and multiply.

A young man needs to have a work ethic to be able to provide for a wife, a vision for serving God aka a mission, but he doesn’t have to have it all settled. Rather the whole point of marriage is to find a woman who can help you in the building of the household, not that you build it all by yourself.

This may mean renting an apartment the first few years of marriage while you save for later. It will mean sacrifices together. But can we stop with the faithlessness and fear that masquerades as wisdom.

For we walk by faith, not by sight.
2 Corinthians 5:7

7 thoughts on “Men Fearing Marriage and the Courts

  1. Wise words Lori. Anyone who lets the cares of the world keep them from doing the bidding of the LORD is not marriage material. Every couple has obstacles and you want to have a spouse that will help you face them in a Godly manner. No one is perfect but if you are on the same team and love the LORD, He will help you through the “insurmountable”.

  2. Lori,
    Wondering what your take is on the FLDS church? That marries girls as young as 11-12 years old off to old men based on a “prophet” in their church saying they “received a message from God?”

  3. Hi Lori. Should a church force a young couple to marry if they have committed fornication? This happened to a young couple I know. They are seriously struggling in their marriage.

  4. My boys have found that most girls do not want to live poor. They don’t want to be helpmeets to men who work hard..they want to travel, play and be romanced. This seems to be the way it is going. One of my boys is a dairy farmer and the other a baker. Both very time consuming and physically demanding jobs. Girls run from this..Sad, but true..Thanks for sharing..I am always blessed by your posts..

  5. Hi Sarah,

    No, I don’t believe a church should force a young couple to marry. I am not sure how a church can even do this. The parents would have far more say in this than the church. In the olden days, most young couples who fornicated did marry for the baby’s sake. This young couple needs mentoring. The woman needs to be taught biblical womanhood. ALL couples struggle in some way. They need to be taught how to be married. They are now encouraged to fornicate but not how to be married. Our culture teaches them to divorce. We live in a wicked culture.

  6. This was so good!
    Here in New Zealand, society looks down on families who are not rich, who are having children. I have often been made to feel like a burden on society, and like I’m not good enough, because we have always lived on the poverty line, with out 4 children.
    Society, at least here in New Zealand, tells us that we need to have a good job before we get married, and we need a house deposit before we have kids. Honestly, with the price of houses here, that means nobody would ever have kids, if we were all to heed that advice. It is so sad that children are not considered blessings, but burdens by the world. Finances are much more important, than having children.

    I was 20 when I got married, 21 when I had my first child. So many people told us we were foolish and should have waited a few years until we were more financially stable. Our lives would certainly have been easier if we had done that, but this post was such a beautiful reminder that God’s way don’t require financial stability. They require willingness and faith. To God, marriage and children are a blessing.

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