Many women who want to be home full time with their children have a problem with their husbands wanting the same things. Most of these husbands had mothers who weren’t home full time to nurture and give them emotional support, therefore, they don’t understand what they missed but it does affect them deeply. They usually have a hard time being emotionally close to their wives because of the lack of motherly care and affection.
Dr. Brenda Hunter in Home By Choice explains how important it is for full-time mothers to have husbands who are supportive of their roles at home. If your husband is not, give it to the Lord daily in prayer and ask Him to convict and change your husband’s mind. Also, your appeal to him to stay home will be more accepted if you are living as a godly, kind, and submissive wife to him.
Then the author goes on to explain the horrible effect feminism has had on men. “American males are not only angry and confused, but they are exhausted from trying to live up to performance standards they feel women impose. Modern men must be sensitive, but not wimps; they should exhibit ‘tempered macho,’ and be super successful in their careers.”
Men are not supposed to open a woman’s door or help her out of a chair. If he says anything to her when she is immodestly dressed, he may be considered for sexual harassment. In short, men are not supposed to act like men, according to feminism. They want men to act like women and women to act like men! They don’t know what they want because the further one wanders from the truth, the more difficult it is to figure life out. What’s right is wrong and what’s wrong is right.
The author’s solution for men these days – a gentle woman! “A gentle woman can teach a man to be gentle, respectful, and reverent of her womanhood as complementary to his own manhood.” You know, that winning them without a word by godly, chaste behavior and having a meek and quiet spirit. God knew exactly what men needed when He provided a mother to raise them and a wife to be a help meet to them when they married.
Studies have proven that boys suffer more than girls if their mom returns to work. Boys all the way up to men were created to need women in their lives to care for and encourage them. “The point of this brief examination of male vulnerability (from the book Home By Choice) is to assert that sons and husbands need the women in their lives to nurture them, appreciate them, and express interest in their lives. As little boys or as high-powered executives, males suffer from female neglect…all men need sensitive women in their lives.” Sadly, few of them are receiving this these days.
Then she shares about the “father hunger” that so many men suffer with today. “Many men suffer from father hunger, not only from fathers who were absent, but also from fathers who were passive or uninvolved.” This is so common. In fact, she stated that there are few people today who were deeply loved and nurtured by both mother and father. Are you one of the few who were loved by both parents? If so, you are very blessed!
“If a man is denied his father’s affirmation and blessing, he will search for it all his life. The absence of a father’s acceptance and unconditional love can cause a man to become an overachiever or a convict. I have never met an inmate who loves his dad.” This, my friends, is why you do everything in your power to keep your marriage to your children’s father strong and intact. Your children need their fathers in their lives. Fathers are not expendable as our culture tries to make them out to be.
If your husband has left you, begin memorizing and learning 1 Peter 3:1-6 and become attractive to your husband by your sweet, gentle, and feminine ways as I have written about many times before. If you are married, never take your husband for granted. Stop being critical and fault-finding of him. This will never make a good marriage. Once you love him just the way that he is and allow the Lord to be the one to convict and change him, you will find peace beyond comprehension and joy unspeakable!
And the servant of the Lord must not strive; but be gentle unto all men, apt to teach, patient.
2 Timothy 2:24