Mommy Blogs Doing More Harm Than Good?

Mommy Blogs Doing More Harm Than Good?

From Raising Godly Children

Christian Moms, if you’re more influenced by “mommy blogs” than your husband and/or pastor, that’s an issue. If you spend more time reading “mommy blogs” than studying your Bible, that’s an issue.

These Christian “mommy blogs” are having an enormous influence in the American Evangelical Church and I think they’ve done more harm than good to be honest. Christian moms are running to these blogs, social groups, Facebook pages, etc. when they should be running to their husbands, pastors, and older women at church.

Just to let you know, a male runs this Facebook fan page. Always has and always will. In the past, I’ve posted many good articles from “mommy blogs” that have done a great deal of good, I believe. BUT, over the past four years of running RGC, I’ve realized that women in church don’t need more “women ministries,” “Christian women blogs,” or “Christian women motivational speakers” but rather sound Biblical theology and teaching primarily from their pastor, husband, and older women who attend their church.

Sadly, many Christian women run to these blogs because their husbands, pastors, and older church women are not feeding and discipling them, and that breaks my heart. Most churches and husbands have dropped the ball when it comes to “washing their wives in the Word.” HUSBANDS, “act like men” (1 Corinthians 16:13) and start leading and guiding your wives. Remember, God has entrusted with you with one of His daughters and it’s your primary duty to help her grow in her walk with Christ.

Moms, consider the content and amount of time you spend surfing the net reading those blogs. Yes, there are some very good ones out there, no doubt. But there are also a lot of bad blogs out there with twisted theology, worldly stances, and liberal theological influences, so read with discernment. But make sure you spend more time reading the Word, getting discipled by older women, discipling other women/children, and develop a strong discipleship relationship with your Hubby!

The aged women likewise, that they be in behaviour as becometh holiness, not false accusers, not given to much wine, teachers of good things; That they may teach the young women…
Titus 2:3, 4

***I do want to add that there were no wise older women in the churches that I attended when I was a young mother who were mentoring the younger women, sadly. I hear this from many young women. Either the older women in the churches are busy with their careers or traveling and doing their own thing or they have no idea what to teach the young women since they were never taught or modeled biblical womanhood. Also, it seems that many of the younger women in the churches don’t want to learn from the older, wiser, and more experienced women. They would rather learn from their peers and “mommy blogs” who teach nothing about biblical womanhood and the commands to younger women listed in Titus 2:3-5, so this is a problem, too.

37 thoughts on “Mommy Blogs Doing More Harm Than Good?

  1. Great post! I also believe Mommy Blogs feed the sin of coveting. So many moms live their life trying to attain the life of the most popular mommy blog.

    Also I think the church makes it difficult for the younger women to have the opportunity to be mentored by the older women because most churches are very age segregated today. I know every church in my area is very age segregated and the younger generation is not fortunate enough to be able to build relationships with the older generation. Unfortunately,I think the church is more influenced by the world than the world influenced by the church.

    1. I agree with you, Tamara. Any “Women’s Bible” studies should be older women teaching the younger women the commands that the Lord lays out in Titus 2:3-5. Do you know how much stronger marriages and families would be if this were happening!

  2. I neede to hear this! I definitely spend a lot of time on reading mommy blogs and look to them for wisdom instead of the Word. My husband is wonderful provider and protector and attends church with us when he can, but he was never modeled by his father how to lead a family spiritually. I’ve nagged him on this issue for too many years and now I’ve given this issue to the Lord. Hope one day he will take the initiative to pray with his family or teach us from the word but for now I’ll just pray for him.

    1. Please study the Word of God for yourself! This is one of the most important things you can do. You can also listen to godly men teach the Word of God. There are many of them but make sure you measure everything that you hear by the Word of God. If you read mommy blogs, make sure they are teaching things that are biblical since most do not. Do they ever teach any commands found in Titus 2:3-5? Do they teach women to be “obedient to their husbands”? Do they teach women to be “keepers at home”? Do they teach women to be modest, sober, chaste, and good? If not, avoid them.

    2. A husband’s spiritual leadership comes in many different forms. The greatest leadership fathers and husbands can give their children and wife is leadership by example. Such a life of leadership will be caught by the children, not taught to the children.

    3. GreenR – It’s good that you no longer nag your husband about becoming the family spiritual leader. Nothing good ever comes from a woman nagging her husband… but here is a suggestion.

      Try what Paul instructs in 1 Corinthians 14:15. Ask your husband a theological question; or really any question about something important. If he asks you why you are asking him, then quote the verse and tell him that you are just obeying what God instructs you to do. If he laughs openly at you then there is a bigger problem and I will touch on that later but if he continues to listen, but needs more convincing, then tell him that his answer is the most important one to you and that you desire to learn from him. If he gives you an answer, show him honor by accepting it… or at least by not smirking and/or openly disagreeing with it. If he gives you some instruction on a matter, follow it. Start slow and don’t overwhelm him with too many questions too often. If you do this over time, and give him positive feedback each time, it just might inspire him in the right direction. You need to be genuine and sincere in this effort.

      Now if your husband openly laughs at you in the above scenario, or if he just walks away with a confused or disgusted look on his face, then you have a bigger problem. You see, for him to really believe that you care about his opinion, you will have to be consistently showing it in other areas. In the normal course of life, if he tells you that he wants for you to do something, or that he wants for you to NOT do something, or if he tells you that he has a preference on some issue; you will need to be: doing what he asked you to do, NOT doing what he asked you to not do and complying with his preferences… you know, the whole submission and obedience thing. If you are not doing that, then you are probably going to have to get this part in order before you can proceed with… much of anything else in trying to influence your husbands behavior.

      On the issue of praying with you, ask him (like it’s a one time thing) to pray for you before he goes to work one morning (or before you go to sleep one night). Give him a prayer request or two so he has something to work with. If he does it, thank him and show your gratitude (big hug) to him for doing so. Give it a few days or a week and then then ask him to pray for you again, and then thank him and show your gratitude for him doing so. You might be able to make it a daily thing after a while as you show him honor and gratitude for praying with you each time.

      For all wives who are having (pretty much ANY) trouble with their husbands, I am going to make a statement here: The VAST MAJORITY of women today just don’t come anywhere close to showing their husbands enough honor, respect and gratitude. The root cause of this is (most often) a pride problem with the woman, but I will leave it at that for now.

      The last half of Ephesians 5:33 is a VERY powerful verse for women: (and I like the KJV the best for this one) “… and the wife see that she reverence her husband.”

      According to Websters 1828 Dictionary: Reverence is to show “fear mingled with respect and affection.”

      Ladies, do you show your husband “fear mingled with respect and affection”? Do you submit to him “as unto the Lord” and “in everything” (Ephesians 5:22-24)? If not then you are missing out on so many of God’s blessings.

      I can tell you that when you treat a (basically good and especially a Christian) man that way, you will most often get good things in return. Conversely, when you treat a man with disrespect, you will most often get bad things in return (or at least miss out on the good). This is just a simple cause and effect that God built into the nature of the man. Do what God said to do… BLESSING. Don’t do what God said to do… loss of blessing or sometimes a CURSE.

      I would speculate that many Christian men who do not pray with or try to teach their wives and family, is because they do not feel that they are respected enough for it to matter. Many feel like that if they even tried, they would just be rejected and feel even more disrespected than they already are on a daily basis.

      Feminism has beaten men down so much over the past hundred years that many of us don’t really know what it means to be a man. Feminism has so negatively effected and watered down the churches that very few of us grew up being taught what it means to be a Godly man. But God has given women unbelievable POWER to affect men for good or for bad. Ladies, God has given you the keys, all you have to do is use them wisely (Proverbs 14:1). Obedience brings Blessing.

      1. A while ago, I would have snorted at this and said “ummmmm NO!!!” but I’m starting to understand how differently men and women think.
        Recently, my father has had serious health problems and I have been under immense stress looking after him, battled depression, and failed to keep up with the housework etc. Our house was a tip. To me, it was just an untidy house that I needed to spend a day sorting out and getting on top of. To my husband, even though he knew how stressed I was, and did his best to help me, he couldn’t help but feel a bit disrespected. I wasn’t intentionally being disrespectful at all. My issues weren’t anything to do with him, and I certainly wasn’t neglecting the housework to “get back at” him or disrespect him or anything, in any way.
        It was actually really hurtful, when he told me he felt disrespected, as that was not at all what I was doing. But once I knew how he felt, and how he was thinking, it was easy to make the changes.
        Men and women do not think alike at all. This is where communication is so important, because we could be disrespecting our men without even realising it.

  3. I have been reading frommilktomeat.com I was wondering if you’ve seen this one and what you think of it? I think she is maybe 50/50 with worldly vs. biblical? I like the recipes but I don’t want to be led down the wrong path with the other readings

  4. Discernment is key. Women can read a blog looking for practical solutions to household/child raising problems (for example, the Bible may give a command, but not provide exactly HOW to do that in this modern day), and then discern which of the examples on the blog fit with her values. If you’re unsure, you can always get your husband’s opinion!

  5. I thought this was another good article! I’ve never read mommy blogs before! Yours was shared with me from a sister in christ! I haven’t bothered checking them out! First of all, internet time interferes with productive home time! And as you full well know, when your health is compromised, tending simple household chores become quite challenging!
    Thank you for your wonderful articles. They have been a blesding to me. And reading the responces to them have been very eye opening for me! I’ve never been apart of the nasty side of the world, and I have to say that I’m sorely disappointed in the many responces from so called christians! Wow! My mom used to say, “Live and learn!” Well, I am, and I’m still shocked!

    Keep up the good work that you and your hubby are doing! I’ll remember you in prayer!
    May the LORD’S face continue to shine upon you dear sister! 💖

    1. Thank you, Dee Anne! I just made a YouTube on how Facebook can be such a time waster. We must use our time wisely in these evil days. Our lives are short so let’s use them to glorify the Lord!

  6. I think we should also distinguish between entertainment and education; perusing blogs is fun and can be mentally stimulating, but it is a distraction and can easily be overdone. (And I am guilty of doing this and not redeeming my time well.) But for any sort of educational purposes, you want the educator to be able to speak with some authority; Lori has one kind of authority I do not as an older woman exhorting younger women. And of course, we should be like the Bereans and always be testing what we hear against Scripture.

    (Disclosure: I have a mommy blog, or anyway a blog written by a mommy. It is not influential, lacks authority, and is something I like to do in my off time.)

  7. I so agree with this post and the warning against mommy blogs. Sure I have learned a lot from some good blogs but looking back I would have been a better mom if I had spent that time with my children rather. The more I read the more discouraged I got so it really hadn’t resulted in bringing me encouragement as is usually the writers goal. I think many of them have good intentions but we really don’t get to know each other online but rather compare Our Lives to what people portray online. Thank you so much for your faithful daily teaching. I have benefited from reading truth day after day. After a few years this adds up to a renewed mind! I’m usually one of your quiet readers and seldom comment but I want you to know that you are making a difference in my life. Thanks from this young mom!

    1. Thank you, Amanda! I believe the Lord has a very good reason for having the older women teaching the younger women. For one thing, we have the time to do so, plus the wisdom and experience, too, hopefully.

  8. Sadly, many Christian women run to these blogs because their husbands, pastors, and older church women are not feeding and discipling them, and that breaks my heart.

    Probably more often husbands give up or are prevented, because rebellious wives will just not be told what to do, and fight all attempts to correct them. They run to anybody they can find who will contradict their husband, and often it is some preacher of goddess worship who preaches Feminism instead of God’s patriarchy.

    2 Timothy 4:3 For the time is coming when people will not endure sound teaching, but having itching ears they will accumulate for themselves teachers to suit their own passions,

    I find it hard to believe that any women can’t find a husband who will tell them what to do. LOL

    Why not be honest, that most women of this generation are stubborn, rebellious, entitled and openly disregard their husbands instructions, tearing their homes apart with their own hands.

    Husbands won’t tell them what to do. LOL LOL ROTFL
    Are women really silly enough to believe their husbands are refusing to tell them how to be a good helper and a pleasing mate to them?
    More likely they instead want instruction on how to contradict and usurp their husband, and the husband doesn’t want that at all, so she goes to the church and the wicked hireling undermines her spiritual head for easy money, and she sides with that self appointed false teacher against her own head, who God put over her.

    1. Yes, the majority of women want to rule over their husbands because we think we know best, thus disregarding and disrespecting our husbands’ opinions. Why would any husband feel comfortable trying to teach a rebellious wife?

  9. I agree, as I do with most of what you write and share and have been sharing with as many people as I feel led to.
    However, I believe that a woman can run straight to the WORD herself. God is my ultimate authority and my husband is one of my mentors and he disciples me well however, he also loves that I know how to walk with God on my own, to seek God for myself and hear from Him. I just wish that was how the author would have worded that. God has given us (and in my opinion us, means men, women, ALL of us) everything we need for life and godliness. I love that in times when a trusted older woman or my husband isn’t available that I run to the word and prayer first. Just my 2 cents. It is how I encourage my younger mom friends, and also, not just mommy blogs but the never ending litany of mommy authors on how to make your life even better. UGH no such thing without walking with Jesus and being surrendered to Him. 🙂

    1. Oh, I wholeheartedly agree with you, Rachel! We are told to let the Word of Christ dwell in us richly. We must be women of the Word and hide it deeply in our hearts by meditating upon it day and night.

  10. The trouble with bloggers is many. Some so called “tips” can be harmful. Some deliberately mummy shame. I always would say get reputable, unbiased advice from reputable sources.

  11. There are some good Christian family blogs and some women not only set a wonderful example but also help those of us fighting against the tide of sin and feminism feel less isolated.

  12. I think it depends entirely on the type of “mommy blog” you’re talking about.
    Personally, I find some of them quite handy for homemaking tips – preserving, making jams and chutneys etc (my own mother did not know how to make these, and when my grandmother wanted to teach me I wasn’t interested.) Also great for tips on organising and managing a home, and I get recipe ideas off there too.

    1. I agree with all of these, KAK. It’s the mommy blogs who give child raising and marriage advice that isn’t biblical that are the greatest problem. Most of the women who run them haven’t been married that long and their children are still young. They can’t speak with experience and wisdom on these topics and from what I have seen, they give terrible advice that is harmful to marriage and children.

  13. I ignore most mommy blogs because most of them are written by self-absorbed, navel gazing, not terribly bright or caring massively narcisstic opportunistic females.

  14. This is so interesting, Lori. I’ve seen both sides of the question.

    On the one side, I basically learned to parent from mommy bloggers. Having been an only-child in a child-free family, raised mostly in daycare, I had no idea how to be a mother. (And I’m still not an awesome one.) In many ways, mommy bloggers were my salvation – and thankfully I read some awesome blogs from large-family mothers who were serious Christians.

    On the other hand, I have totally seen the dangers of which you speak. It’s very similar to physical “mommy groups” (play groups, etc.) where moms are trading parenting advice with each other but all are equally inexperienced and immature. Bad things happen. Young moms are incredibly vulnerable to bad parenting ideas peddled by self-help gurus, and they easily fall for unbiblical teaching coming from fellow young moms.

    As many have pointed out, though, the surfeit of mommy bloggers has arisen from the vacuum created by the almost total absence of mature Christian women willing to make themselves available to teach and mentor the next generation. They have rejected homemaking and childbearing and child-raising, and jumped into the work world instead, and thus have nothing worthwhile to teach the next generation. A secondary problem is godly women who have finished raising their children and then unfortunately decide to jump back into the workforce instead of being available to the young women of the church whom they could be helping.

    Thank you for drawing attention to the myriad of issues raised by this topic.

  15. I’m an older woman, with 5 children ranging from ages 24 to 10. I was, an still am, hungry for the word, and hungry for support and fellowship from other Titus 2 women. I am fortunate to have a church that has many Godly women. As far as finding appropriate blogs, I’ve found yours, Living on His Income blog , Proverbs 14:1 blog and one other. That is all. I’ve written a few posts of my own on regarding being a worker at home, Christian Families, etc. It’s really hard when you like to read, and you’re hungry for God’s word fleshed out, because Christian female authors are few and far between. Also, if you are a Godly woman working at home, you don’t have unlimited amounts of time to write and encourage others in that way. I will praying for you, myself, and all the other women striving to uphold Godly womanhood through their writing.

  16. There are many dangerous false teachers out there, especially women doing blogs. However, there are also many Godly women that are contributing what they feel God wants them to and it blesses others and strengthens, edifies and encourages. You must really use discernment, and that is up to each individual and God that leads them. Being very wise and staying in the Word and prayer will help spot danger.

    There are many women, I’m one – that have absolutely NO encouragement to be a good wife, mother and homemaker. My family is against it, my church is full of women that work… so, I rely on good, Godly women that blog to help me when I need that encouragement. It is a SHORT list LOL – but there are women that God has led me to to receive that much-needed mature woman in the Lord teaching. There is such a need out there and it is getting less everyday.

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