A lie that many in the world believe is that only weak-willed women or women who are being bullied by their husbands are submissive. I read an article about this and asked my husband if I submitted to his leadership because I was weak-will or he bullied me. He laughed! I am not weak-will, nor has he ever bullied me. He doesn’t have a bullying bone in his body! I submit to my husband in obedience to the Lord. It actually takes a strong woman grounded in the Word of God and filled with His Spirit to be able to submit to their husband as unto the Lord.
A wife’s decision to be submissive to her husband does not mean she is weak-willed or that her husband will bully her because of her submission. Men who bully will bully women regardless of whether or not they have submissive wives and yes, may take advantage of a submissive wife but his bullying isn’t because of her submission. He’s a bully and she may need to seek help! And godly women who choose to be submissive are not weak-willed as many falsely believe today.
I asked the women in the chat room if they lived in submission to their husbands because they were weak willed or bullied and here are some of their responses.
Debbie: “Lol. No one that knows me would ever accuse me of being weak-minded or try to bully me. Biblical submission is a reflection of a heart choice of a God-focused woman.”
Rebecca: “My husband has NEVER bullied me! And weak minded? I don’t think so! It takes great strength sometimes to be submissive but just like many other things in life, our lives are much better when we obey God.”
Katrina: “I try to be submissive because I love God and want to do what pleases him. ❤”
Paige: “People say the same things about Christ- what kind of God would die for his enemies? What kind of master would wash the feet of his servants? What kind of king would make peasants his co-heirs? His humility is why we serve. Not because we are weak or our husbands are mean, but because He is our example of servanthood.”
Lindsay: “I’m a very opinionated and strong woman. Nobody would get away with bullying me. I’m certainly not weak-minded. I submit to my husband because it’s what God’s word tells me and because life just works so much better when we all have our proper roles and aren’t fighting one another. I don’t want to compete with my husband or control him or fight with him. I married him because I love and respect him, so I wouldn’t want to undermine that respect by keeping him under my thumb, even if I could. I want him to take the lead so he keeps my knees weak and my admiration strong. A weak man I could control would not be very appealing to me at all.”
Verna: “Definitely not.”
Katie: “Raised in an atheist, feminist home. Strong minded enough to choose my own path, make my own choices, and go against my family’s ways. Would not class myself as weak minded at all.”
Chanse: “I probably wouldn’t be married still if it weren’t for Christ. It’s only through His power and submitting to His will that I continue to persevere and forbear through my difficult marriage. So, no I’m not bullied or weak minded. If I were, I’d be divorced.”
Robin: “These people just don’t understand how much strength and self control it takes for a woman to submit to her husband!”
Monica: “None of the above. I submit to my husband because God requires me to do so. This model has resulted in us having a very beautiful marriage. I would rather the wisdom of God than the foolishness of man.”
Kylene: “One of the reasons I’m submissive is because I used to be a feminist. I came to see feminism and the egalitarian (i.e. ‘two-headed monster marriage’ model) as being epic system failures that were detrimentally affecting both our culture and the Christian church. I’m no less than my husband. He seeks my perspective and input on everything of importance (the same way a CEO would brainstorm with the COO or other top executive) and then makes the final decision.”
Andrea: “My SIL was bullied by her husband, and lived for several years in submission because of him. She began to seek God and submit as he would have her, and their marriage was totally transformed! They are happy and doing wonderful. It’s amazing to see what a submissive heart can do.”
You see, women, these lies that only weak-minded women are submissive or women who are being bullied by their husbands are lies that the enemy of our souls wants women to believe. Satan doesn’t want women to obey God and live in submission to their husbands. He hates the Lord’s ways and comes to kill, steal, and destroy. Stop listening to the lies of the enemy and those whom he is using for his purposes. Listen to the Lover of your soul instead and do what He has commanded you to do. Only in Him will you find the peace and rest you are so desperately searching and longing for.
Even as Sara obeyed Abraham, calling him lord: whose daughters ye are, as long as ye do well, and are not afraid with any amazement.
1 Peter 3:6