She Looks Well to the Ways of Her Household
She looketh well to the ways of her household, and eateth not the bread of idleness.
“She diligently observes the management of her domestic business, and the whole carriage of her children and servants. Whereby he also intimates, that she spends not her time in gadding abroad to other people’s houses, and in idle discourses about the concerns of other persons, as the manner of many women is, but is wholly intent upon her own house and proper business” (Benson Commentary).
Taking care of our home and family are our greatest concern; for this is God’s ordained will for us – to be keepers at home. It’s not keepers of the home, but keepers AT home. “AT” means we are there AT home. This is where people will find us the majority of the time. This is where our work needs to be done. This is where we are to stay busy. There is a lot to taking care of a home and family. There’s always something that needs cleaning. Food needs to be fixed three times a day if you have children in the home. This isn’t supposed to be done with our left-over energy. No, it’s supposed to take all of our energy. Being a help meet to our husbands, a mother to our children, and a keeper at home is a full-time job and it’s perfect for us as designed by our Creator.
“The business of her house, her domestic affairs; that her children and servants have convenient food, and in due season; that they have proper clothing, and keep their garments close about them, and unspotted; that everyone does the business of his calling, her several officers, and private members; that a good decorum is kept, that all things are done decently and in order; that the rules of her lord and husband are observed; that the conversations of all in her house are according to the word of God, and becoming their character” (Gill’s Exposition).
As godly woman, our first priority is in pleasing our Lord and Savior. Whatever He instructs us to do, we do with His Spirit working mightily within us. Then we aim to please our husbands as our earthly lords. If they want the home to be kept a certain way, then we keep it that way. We learn to serve them cheerfully and willingly. Then we love and serve our children by disciplining, training, and teaching them all of the ways of the Lord and life. Since God is a God of order and beauty, let us strive to be women of order and beauty in our homes!
“As Almighty God, from His lofty watch-tower in heaven, observes all the minutest details of the manifold work that is going on in the busy hive of earth, so does she from her exalted position in which He has placed her, as mistress of the family, and as responsible to Him, observe ‘the ways of her household'” (Cambridge Bible).
A woman who works outside of her home cannot possible be over all of the “minutest details” of her home and family. This is imperative for mothers to do since it’s protection for their children. God has ordained mothers to watch carefully over their children and in order to do this, they must be the ones who are with their children continually. Children being sexually abused is rampant these days and it was probably not so common when mothers were home full time watching over their children. Mothers who are not keepers at home blaspheme the word of God (Titus 2:5). Yes, this offends many women today but I’m not the one who wrote this.
“She considers the ways of her house, because she accurately examines all the thoughts of her conscience. She eateth not her bread in idleness, because that which she learned out of Holy Scripture by her understanding, she places before the eyes of the Judge by exhibiting it in her works” (Pulpit Commentary).
She is not a different person outside of her home. No, the same person strangers see is the same person her family lives with. She is as patient and kind with her family as she is with others; for she lives to please her Savior and He sees everything! In order for her to live this way, she spends daily time at the feet of Jesus and learns His ways. She knows she has been given supernatural power (the Holy Spirit) to live this way so she trusts God to accomplish His work in and through her.
And whatsoever ye do, do it heartily, as to the Lord, and not unto men.
15 thoughts on “She Looks Well to the Ways of Her Household”
“It’s not keepers of the home, but keepers AT home. ‘AT’ means we are there AT home.”
I needed to hear this today. I’ve been struggling with motivation as of late. Oh, how we can be deceived in thinking that other people need us more than our own families! You are right, our family and home should not merely get our left over energy. Thank you for this beautiful reminder!
I have a sincere question. How do I read these without guilt when I have to work full-time outside of the home? And by have to, I mean my husband wants me to.
I am loving your blog! Each new post brings me back to and reminds me of my purpose. To often, I go astray searching for that thing that defines me. “Who am I?” goes through my head too often. I imagine that is the devil trying to convince me I am ‘more’ than just a wife and mother, that there has to be more to life than my kids, that I need to go off searching for that thing that defines me. But, your blog keeps bringing me back to the fact that the Lord has already defined my role, and there is nothing more important than caring for my family! Thank you. I look forward to your posts showing up in my email every day.
You’re welcome, Mrs. Gee! There’s no place like home.
It’s a difficult question, Maria, since I’m sure you know how badly your children need you home full time and I’m sure it affects the quality of your marriage but yes, you are to live in submission to your husband. 1 Peter 3:1 is God’s prescription for you.
Give it daily to the Lord in prayer and ask that He convict and change your husband’s mind. Men in the past didn’t want their wives to work. My dad was one of them but sadly, many men today see the dollar signs instead of the value of their wives being at home full time.
You’re welcome, Mariel! Our culture shouts at women that their value is in having a career, making money, and making a name for themselves but we must always remember who the prince of the power of the air is and continually renew our minds with God’s Word for truth.
Hi Maria, I was once in your shoes, so I know how you feel. My opinion is that you can read these without guilt because you are doing as God calls you to do and that is to live in submission to your husband. Pray daily for God to change your husband’s mind and to make a way for you to come home, but also remember that you are obeying God’s command to you to live in submission. I know it’s hard, I cried every day on my way to work. I begged God, I demanded God let me go home, but my husband didn’t feel that we could make it.
One day, I asked God to make me content with working if I couldn’t go home, THAT VERY DAY when I got home from work, my husband asked me if we could make it if I quit. Please realize that I meant that prayer, it wasn’t just something I uttered to get through the day. My heart was breaking because I felt like I should be home with our child, but I also knew that I could not go against my husband’s wishes, so my prayer was for peace. Just keep praying and lifting him up to God. My advice to you is
1. Pray daily for God to change your husband’s mind and make a way
2. No hurt feelings or bitterness or anger towards your husband because you have to work. Be submissive with joy and gladness in your heart, knowing you are obeying God by obeying your husband. Be happy because you know the creator of the universe and that He can make anything happen and can change minds. Again, don’t hold a grudge about the situation and obey and submit to your husband with gladness.
This is beautiful, HH. Thank you. Godliness with contentment is great gain.
I remember asking my grandmother back when my children were all young ” how did you do it all?” She had raised 6 children on the farm. She cared for them, cooked, cleaned, sewed, milked the cows, baked, etc., etc.
She simply said to me “I stayed home!” I will never forget her reply. Here I was with all the conveniences she never had and felt overwhelmed with half as many children as she had!
She had such wisdom and was a wonderful wife, mother, grandmother and great-grandmother- and that was all very natural to her. She left a legacy in our family and was dearly loved and is now home with the Lord. I am thankful for her and her words to me!
They didn’t feel the need to be busy outside of the home and go, go, go like women do today. They looked well the the ways of their household and their families were blessed. Thank you for sharing, Tami.
I am in a dilemna! We are both retired…we moved every 3 to 4 years during his career & we both were in agreement. Currently, we have a 16 year old too. In 2012 we moved to AZ and we were together on this move. But after 3 years we decided to move back to state we came from but a different location. None of us really wanted to leave but thought best for my husband’s health. Well after 10 months in back in Florida our new physician said we could move back to AZ as long as my husband follows his treatment. I know i’m his helpmate & he does consult me & i’Ve expressed my longing to return to AZ but he definitely does not want to go back to same place; however he does desire to go somewhere new in the west. There are many reasons I desire to go back…our son could finish high school with kids he already knows as opposed to brand new place. I think I have to give up my desires for his and ask the Lord to change me or him. I having difficulty because at a time when neither one of us has to work it seems so right to return to AZ…a place we did’t want to leave.
Thank you for this reminder (aka kick in the butt!). I have been struggling with managing my time, and my family suffers for it. I know I need to put some of my ambitions on the back burner and trust God that the desires he has put in my heart will be fulfilled on HIS timeline. I am looking forward to reading more from your blog!
I stay home with my baby, and take care of my home. We leave her with nobody. Sometimes my hubby will watch her while I go to the store, most of the time, however, I just take her while hes at work. That way its less crowded, we can relax when he gets home, plus its VERY hard to shop with men, let alone look for good deals. However, at his job, he does find us lots of clearance scratch & dent items for our house.
Slowly working on potty training, bible reading, and chalk board writing.
I keep my house the way I want to , I also pick the inside color schemes & styles. Im not the best homemaker, however, we had a Christian man contractor who did some work for us, & he stopped his work long enough to call me into the room tell me he has never seen a house so spotless, let alone with a little baby walking & in potty training. Then he told my husband the same thing. My husband doesnt want me overworking, he wants me to relax with him when hes off work, play with baby & practice piano
Its more scary when these words come from preachers. I just listened to myles monruo on the prov 31 woman and he said she’s involved in real estate, was a business woman that was an asset to her husband. In ny country its a norm to be a working mother and abnormal to be a housewife. A preachers’ wife once said that if you are a housewife and you can’t give your husband money then you are a disgrace and a lot of people supported her including men. Its disheartening.