She Married a Monster

She Married a Monster

Written By Matt McMillen

Years ago, my grandma had an angel appear to her as she swept the kitchen floor, late at night, praying.

Let me give you some background on my grandma: she is a saint, who married a monster. Nobody caused this sweet lady more unnecessary pain than my grandfather. Grandpa was an alcoholic, an abuser, a philanderer, and just about the exact opposite of Grandma.

Grandma said she married him because he said if she didn’t, he would kill himself. In her loving innocence, she actually believed him. The terror that my grandfather caused, not just my grandma, but also my dad, uncle, and aunts, was something out of a horror movie–but, they still had Grandma. Just like Grandma stepped up in my own personal childhood, to make a nightmare better, she did the same for her own kids as well. She never gave up.

Grandpa didn’t want anything to do with God, and he didn’t want Grandma going to church because he said she would “find another man” or “blow money.” Fact of the matter was, that’s what he thought about all the time, not Grandma. Grandma couldn’t care less about the attention of other men, or money. She cared about Jesus, and what He wanted from her.

She told me a story about how one Sunday morning as she was getting ready for church, Grandpa said, “I’ll kill you before you go to church!” He went in the other room, got a gun, came back and pointed it at her. She told me that she prayed to God, “I’m ready if you want me to come home. I don’t want to go, but I’m ready.” Grandpa lowered the gun, and said, “I’m not gonna kill you today, but I’m gonna kill you tomorrow.” Grandma said she didn’t come home that day, instead she stayed at a friend’s house.

IF YOU ONLY KNEW THE NIGHTMARE THAT MY GRANDPA WAS, AND WHAT MY GRANDMA PUT UP WITH, IT WOULD BAFFLE YOUR MIND! HER COMMITMENT TO HER WEDDING VOWS, TO GOD, AND TO HIM, IS MIND-BLOWING!

I’ve asked her many times, “Why didn’t you just leave him?” She said she planned on it quite often, and then one night, she had a dream that Grandpa died and went to hell. After that, she completely removed the word “divorce” from her mind. She said she knew that God wanted her to stay, and that He had a greater purpose for her pain.

Had she left, you would not be reading this right now.

Instead of leaving, she used his hate for good. She committed herself to loving someone who was unlovable, just like Jesus does. Grandpa’s loathing of my grandma made her know God better, and deeper. And now, that’s been passed on to later generations. She didn’t run from the devil, she fought him head on, and she has a legacy for it.

So as Grandma swept the kitchen floor, late that night in the 1960’s, praying for Grandpa (no telling what he was out doing, probably at a bar), and her kids, an angel appeared before her.

The story I’ve heard a hundred times is, “I looked up–it was the brightest thing I’ve ever seen! It was transparent and it covered the entire wall! It was beautiful!” Frightened, Grandma gasped out loud, “No Lord, not now!” thinking, in her own words, “The angel had come to take me home”—and just like that—it disappeared.

Now if you ask her about this event, she’ll tell you that she knows the angel had a message for her. She’ll say that she wishes she didn’t respond how she did, because she wanted to know what it had to say…she’ll find out when she gets to heaven. I’m very curious as well.

So today, my friends, know this: Jesus said, “Blessed are the pure in heart, for they will see God” (Matthew 5:8). My grandma has a pure heart, as do all believers in Christ, but because of just how deep her dependency on Him ran, she got to see an actual angel. I don’t know anyone who has a deeper relationship with God, than Granny Mac. She never gave up on what He wanted her to do–she loved Him and her family too much. She allowed Christ to live through her on such a grand scale, that her pain was rewarded with a view of heaven while still here on earth. She is an inspiration to me. I want to see angels too, don’t you?

I am crucified with Christ: nevertheless I live; yet not I, but Christ liveth in me: and the life which I now live in the flesh I live by the faith of the Son of God, who loved me, and gave himself for me.
Galatians 2:20

***I wrote Matt and asked him if his grandfather eventually believed in Jesus Christ as His Savior and he told me that he did!

14 thoughts on “She Married a Monster

  1. That is nothing short of amazing! What a brave woman she was. We view our life on this earth as all about us , leaving God Out of the picture or telling ourselves we weren’t out here to suffer. I am in no way condoning physical abuse and would never counsel a lady to stay, but so many drop their vows over the tiniest of infractions these days. This man’s grandma must have been an encourager to many in pain.

  2. I agree, Suzanne. Many wives fail to take an eternal view of their husband’s soul when married to a difficult man or even a man who isn’t so difficult. This woman was a shining light and powerful example to all those around her of God’s mercy, grace, and love.

  3. This kind of situation leaves me torn. I grew up in an abusive family and married an abusive man. I stay because I have no other place to go. I can’t afford to support myself and my child on my own. I don’t hate my husband, but I have no love for him either. I worry about what I am teaching my daughter. I want so much better for her than the example she has had.

  4. I’m so sorry Mara.Hope the Lord softens your husbands heart.Thank you Lori for the post and encouragement to Mara.

  5. In regard to being so godly that we might be able to see an angel one day… well we may already have 🙂 ;

    Hebrews 13:2 King James Version (KJV)

    “Be not forgetful to entertain strangers: for thereby some have entertained angels unawares”

  6. What a lovely story! Very sad, but lovely.

    It reminds me very much of my Nan. My Grandpop wasn’t as cruel as the Grandpa in this story, but my Nan certainly had her struggles. My Nan was the most faithful woman I knew.

  7. I’m always very cautious when someone claims to of seen an angel. Surely if the Lord had a message for her, the angel would of ignored her comment and reassured her, not disappeared. The Lord must of deemed it important enough to send an angel. I’m not saying it didn’t happen, however in most cases it’s false. As the devil even disguises himself as an angel of light. And so it must be thoroughly tested against the scriptures.

    However, what a wonderful story! May God bless her, and bring him to the foot of the cross!

  8. I agree, I had that thought as well.
    This verse also instantly came to mind about angels appearance/ human encounters;

    Hebrews 13:2 King James Version (KJV)

    “Be not forgetful to entertain strangers: for thereby some have entertained angels unawares”

  9. There have been many times in my life where I have felt the presence of God’s angels, but I’ve never actually seen one.

    The way one of our preachers described it was the feeling of peace in a struggle or traumatic experience. The peace is the angels sent from the Lord to help us through.

  10. I suspect that the reason Lori posted this story is to emphasis that women work through all trials, no matter how difficult they seem, on precept of scripture. Amen.

    But I’d like to note that this was a conscious decision by his grandmother to take on an already challenged man so she had all the less excuse to complain about her husband [not that there was any excuse without this]. And don’t forget her vow. “She (consciously) Married a Monster.”

    My sister did the same thing nearly 40 years ago when she married a man with a checkered past [because “I need a man”] who had a history of sexual and personal disincline issues. Then conveniently after he fathers their children, she divorces him crying ‘foul’ …leaving the house fatherless.

    Forget her vow. Forget scripture.

    Forget God.

  11. Hi Mara, I feel your pain. This post has me torn as well. I was exactly in your position. I stayed with my husband over 1.5 years to try and mend things, staying by God as much as I could but what my husband was doing was so wrong, and it was just getting worse. I have a 2 year old, and didn’t want to model this for her, so I left, in Oct. 2020. It was so clear, the day I had to go. I was planning it, and being on the fence, but when the opportunity arrived, I recognized and fled. Now my daughter is thriving! And I’m healing, if not healed already. Keep courage, keep God around and you will know what to do. Also, check this out: http://www.focusonthefamily.com

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