She’s Never Had Sex to Make a Baby

She’s Never Had Sex to Make a Baby

“And most people don’t have sex to make a baby. I have *never* had sex to make a baby. I have sex to have sex. End of story. If everyone had sex to make a baby, birth control and abortion would be obsolete (and sex would be terrifyingly sad).” (Stephanie Williams on Twitter) This is a sad commentary on women today. She has never had sex to make a baby. She’s thankful for birth control and abortion so she can continue to have sex without making a baby. This is exactly what many of the founding feminist leaders wanted. Detach women as far away as possible from God’s design for them.

“You couldn’t have a Sexual Revolution until you could break the bond between sex and procreation. Until the 1920s, not one church affirmed the morality of birth control. Abortion, birth control, and court decisions soon paved the way to change this” (Albert Mohler). Unfortunately, now most churches have gone along with the “sex without babies” mentality and fully support birth control. It’s rare you find a couple who gets married and then pregnant on their honeymoon. No, this isn’t responsible many will say. “They need to wait a few years to get to know each other and enjoy life.”

I love watching the show “Counting On” with the older Duggar children. It’s like a breathe of fresh air in this wicked culture. Most of the older children are married and having children. I love watching the way the wives look and act towards their husbands. I love that they welcome children into their lives as soon as they get married. I love that the women are home full time with their children. This is the way it used to be just a few generations ago. Now, they are mocked and scorned for living out biblical womanhood.

Sex is for pleasure in marriage and it is for making babies. It’s not for fornication and adultery. It’s not just sex to have sex. Yes, God made it enjoyable but He intended for us to welcome children freely into our lives. I have almost eleven grandchildren and I can tell you that they all bring so much joy and happiness into our lives. I love seeing my daughters and daughters-in-law with their babies and children.

Stephanie, sex would not be terrifyingly sad without birth control and abortion. It would be amazing! Most generations that have ever existed have lived without birth control and abortion. When couples got married, they knew they would most likely be parents soon. There was no option of not having children. Children were valued back then. My grandparents would be horrified to see how children are being treated today.

If a woman doesn’t want her baby, she can have it slaughtered in her womb and it’s even celebrated. If a woman doesn’t want to be the one home raising her children, she can put her baby in daycare then government-run schools and have strangers raise him/her for the rest of their childhood. If the mother wants her boy to be a girl, she can turn him into a “girl” and cause untold physical, mental, and emotional harm upon the child.

When birth control was introduced in America, the churches taught against it because they knew the long-term consequences would be horrid and they are. Children are the least valued people in our culture. There are signs made to say, “The future is female.” All women care about is themselves and their rights. Let’s not fall for their trap, dear women. Let’s make life all about the Lord and His will for us.

Finally, Stephanie, sex is actually a LOT more fun when not using birth control but instead trying for a baby. Remembering to take a pill every day that causes you not to ovulate (the time when a woman enjoys sex the most) with multiple negative side effects, or a diaphragm which is uncomfortable to put in and filled with toxic ingredients which cause cancer, or condoms which greatly diminish the pleasure of sex all don’t make sex better. You’re the one missing out! It’s actually Christian women who have the greatest sex lives and the reason is that they are in a life-long committed relationship to the man they love and hopefully, not trying to prevent having babies but enjoying the process of making them!

I will therefore that the younger women marry, bear children, guide the house, give none occasion to the adversary to speak reproachfully.
1 Timothy 5:14

28 thoughts on “She’s Never Had Sex to Make a Baby

  1. This is so true. I had my tubes tied at 22yrs old. I had just had a set of twins which made 5 boys for me. Every older woman in my family urged me to do it because “I had way too many kids” “we would never be able to afford any more children” “all those boys would drive me crazy” “you don’t even know if you will be with him (my husband) forever”.

    Well guess what..I am now 31 years old, still with my husband of course, and we long for another child. Our youngests are about to be 10 yrs old and it kills my soul that I will not have any more. I tell EVERY woman I know (even in line at the grocery store) not to make the mistake I did. Not only does my body ache for a baby, but it definitely effects our sex life. Sex for fun was fun for a season but now there is something missing.

    There is something so beautiful about knowing you could be creating a life together when you come together as one. I am not the only one who feels this way, my husband expresses his desire for another child and regrets for my decision as well. It makes for some difficult times in our marriage. We both see how God’s way is the right way and wish we would have known then what we know now.

    I totally agree that it is horrible how children are treated in this day in age. Little ones are honest, they are fun. They grow and learn and even teach us at times. What is life without children to enjoy? It’s sad how the world has brainwashed women to believe that the greatest things they have (their husband and children and the ability to serve them) is a burden. It’s not a burden! It’s a wonderful wonderful thing. I would give ANYTHING to have more kids. Anything. I hope the younger women will take heed.

    Thank you so much Lori, as always you are an amazing guide and encouragement.

    1. Thank you for your honesty, Kate. We never did anything permanent. We never wanted to completely cut off our chances of having more children even though everyone around us was doing it. We knew there were potential side effect from doing this, too.

      There were many times after I had my fourth baby that we wanted more but I was just too sick. May your testimony encourage other women to never do anything to stop their chances of having more children. They do grow up quickly and they are much easier the older they get. They also bring so much joy!

    2. Have you considered a reversal, Kate? Like you, I had my tubes tied (I was 30 and had 4 kids). A number of women have asked me if it’s something I would recommend and I always tell them no, not unless they’re absolutely certain they won’t change their mind later, because reversals aren’t always guaranteed to restore fertility.
      I have had a few moments (mostly when friends have had babies) when I wouldn’t have minded another baby, but I haven’t had the desperate longing that you have. (I’m older though – 37, so getting too old for more anyway!)

      There are things you can try if the reversal route isn’t an option – research Red Clover supplements and abdominal/fertility massage are both said to help. There is also IVF.
      But most of all, pray! Pregnancy after tubal ligation IS possible. It’s rare, but it does happen, and God hears our earnest prayers.

  2. Amen / Amen ! Every Church (and I think pretty much every organised religion) taught against Birth Control until the 1920’s for one very simple reason, it is COMPLETELY against God’s design for marriage, for sex and for women and is fundamentally sinful. It was also obvious to every moral person that to allow (and later encourage) contraception would lead to an ever greater cycle of sin and moral and social disintegration. There can be absolutely no doubt that this is the case, it has lead to fornication, promiscuity, the sexualisation of women, the death of Godly femininity, abortion and the disintegration of the family.

    1. This is a sick society, that is, modern western society. As an ethnic minority who was born and grew up in the west, but raised in a different culture, I view the west as absolutely sickening.

      The west is on a decline and it is its own fault. One key cause is that many are contracepting. Too bad that the west is on a decline.

  3. The best sex is sex that is open to new life. It adds a whole other layer to the intimacy when you could be creating a child together. If you’re trying to prevent the natural consequences of sex, then you’re putting up a barrier between you. You want the fun, but not the full intimacy of being open to making a baby. You want the pleasant sensation, but not his sperm swimming inside you and looking for your egg. You want him as “partner,” but don’t want to carry his child. That mentality is a barrier to true intimacy.

    It’s ironic that people call the contraception mentality “having it all.” That is precisely what they do not have. They only want parts of the sexual intimacy God created, not the whole thing.

    1. I get what you’re saying and agree for the most part, but it also depends on individual circumstances. My husband and I have 4 kids and for a number of reasons we both decided our family was complete. When another pregnancy will be a risk to the mother’s health or life and the family finances are already seriously strained, the fear of an unwanted pregnancy can severely negatively impact intimacy and sex. Birth control gave us the freedom to enjoy each other properly, without worry.

  4. A few weeks before I got married I met with my Pastor’s Wife she advocated against birth control. I am ever thankful for her. Thankful for her honesty when she could have said nothing. I’m the first in my family to be save. I remember thinking that birth control was the only way and I remember feeling not settled about it. She was the ONLY person at that time who I knew who spoke honestly against the culture. She was able to confirm my feelings weeks before my husband and I knew each other. She was the only one I knew who actively spoke out against birth control. I now do the same thing when I speak to women.

    Not only are we not placing our trust in God but, like you mentioned, many forms of contraceptives are dangerous!!

    If you think about the pill form of birth control; your egg is fertilized by the sperm. The pill prevents it from being able to implant itself in your uterus. How is that any difference then abortion? And many Christian women are falling into this trap.

    What about your husbands? Do they not have a say? What if they want children? It’s an all around sad thing. The good new is God doesn’t intend for it to be that way!

    1. Amen! Husbands should have a say, the biggest say (besides God of course). Do we not believe in submission? God bless sister.

      1. Kevin – you are right to refer to submission. The wife should submit to her husband and as a couple they should submit to God. Not Christian husband should allow his wife to practice birth control, not require or encourage her to do so.

    2. Absolutely The good news is that God intends couples to get married, married couples to have sex and married women to become mothers. He should plan our family and we should trust in him and in his design for us.

      It is wonderful that your Pastors wife spoke out against birth control, it would be wonderful if ALL Christian teachers spoke out against this sin and all the sins which flow from it. It is also heartening that people like Lori are actively raising this topic and that increasingly Christian women of all denominations are turning against birth control.

      I pray also that all Christian husbands (and future husbands) also come to believe that openness to all the children God sends is not just a blessing on their marriage but also something which they should expect of and require from their wife.

  5. Hi

    I guess my body’s not normal. I don’t like sex right after my period nor around ovulation. However, im normally very very aggressive just a couple of days before my period starts. Sometimes up to a week before. Hubby loves it. Might even one day get brave enough to have sex the first couple of days of period BC im really sex crazed then. Then leave me alone for week, my tummy feels gross. ive never used the pill. i hear lots of conflicting stuff about it. But nothing wrong with sex in marriage for pleasure.

    People will always have unmarried sex whether or not there is birth control. People just do dumb stuff. I would never let a man touch me, you have to put & ring on my finger & marry me.

    Thanks
    God Bless

    1. Virginity is about obedience to God, not about preserving yourself and to keep yourself from being degraded.

      To say “I would never let a man touch me, you have to put & ring on my finger & marry me” implies that it is about yourself and your own dignity, rather than obedience to God. It is arrogant and self-seeking.

  6. Thank you Lori. Hook up culture is terrible and another negative side affect that hardly gets mentioned is how it affects godly young women. Think of all those young women who appreciate motherhood and femininity but give into hook up culture because if they don’t they get called prudes. Society is bullying the purity out of women. It’s sad so many women have detached themselves from the joy of children. Whenever I see a baby in public I think of what joy it will be to love and educate a child but all of my female friends just say ew and think of nothing but how “expensive” it will be. How sad. Society is going to hell because of women’s “liberation”

  7. Having lost one child and almost loosing another I always cherish children. I think people see them as an afterthought anymore. So many career women trying to get pregnant at 40 because they waited. It’s a mad mad world out there. Children are a blessing from the Lord, we must cherish.

  8. Thank you for the blessed words of wisdom, Lori! I was once a wayward soul that believed in the demented words of Stephanie and I would like to share my story as a cautionary tale for your readers who may be feeling the pangs of temptation despite your sage counsel.

    The year was 1982, a time when the so-called sexual revolution (more like devolution) was reaching a fever pitch. I was a sixteen year old girl from a broken home (Mother was an office worker and I “attended” public school run by inner city communists). Among other things, my pleasures at that time included the use of most narcotics and amphetamines and going to adult discotheques. Back then my pagan lord was contraceptives (when I remembered to use them). I remember one time when a wealthy man took me and my friend to his house and let his friends have their way with us, simultaneously.

    Of course, we fell pregnant and the man, seeking to avoid criminal prosecution, brought us to his private doctor to perform an abortion. His doctor was a grotesque man who told us that he had performed at least 500 abortions for his patron, including late-term abortions.

    Unfortunately, I still did not find Jesus, and I would have at least five more abortions from that same doctor before I was 19 (not counting abortions from so-called “Planned Parenthood” (more like Planned Murder)).

    It was only some time much later (in my mid-30s), after various surgical procedures to enhance my sexual appeal had erupted, and my uterus was rendered uninhabitable, that I found my savior. It is my deep regret that I will never know the true pleasure of child-rearing, and to my dying day I will atone for the numerous children I have slaughtered at the alter of “sexual liberation.”

    Young women, please listen to Lori.

  9. Hi Lori, when I hear comments like Stephanie’s and realize another women has fallen into the pressures and pits of feminism it just makes me so very sad. I married my husband 3 days after I turned 19 (still a virgin) and got pregnant on my honeymoon. Funny note; in my dad’s wedding toast to us at our reception before we left for our honeymoon he told my husband to “bring her back pregnant!” And he sure did! My husband’s plan was to have as many babies as we could and keep me pregnant for a long time. Of course I was thrilled with that plan because it’s all I ever wanted. I have never used birth control and have never been out in the workforce as my dream, as well as my family’s dream, was always for me to stay home, raising babies and being obedient to my husband like my mom did and still does. We had our first baby when I was still 19 and got pregnant again 5 weeks later! We had 3 stair step boys back to back as quick as I could get pregnant. I was a fertile little mama!

    After our third boy, (he’s now 23 and I am 42) I had some unexpected and downright awful health issues that left me unable to have any more children. We were devastated at the time, as our plan was for at least 5 kids, more if I kept getting pregnant. We accepted this as God’s plan for us and we have raised 3 great God fearing sons (no grand kids yet). For me, sex was great as not only did I enjoy it immensely, but I looked so forward to being pregnant again and having more babies! Our boys are grown now, but my husband and I still enjoy an incredible sex life as I continue to obey him and make sure I am always available and ready to make sure his needs are met.

    However, it just makes me ill to hear comments like this confused lady was making that you quoted, when some of us, of no fault of our own, either cannot have children or can no longer have children as in my case.

      1. Thank you Kevin! I don’t “get an Amen” very often! I never want to offend or angry anyone here and this is actually the only blog I am comfortable enough to make comments on. Lori and Ken’s posts are very inspirational to me as I try to just be a “good little housewife” living a life that I know the Lord wants me to live. I don’t argue and I try to respect everyone’s opinions (even the ones I don’t agree with!) I just tell the truth as I see it from my little corner of the world!

    1. Summer – I also fell pregnant on honeymoon, I was surprised but delighted ! You must have been so embarrassed by your father’s remark but I love the sentiment from your husband !

      Absolutely the ideal is for a marriage to be blessed with all the children God plans but it can be hard to accept if that is not as many as we may have wished for. The point though is that God should plan our family not us.

  10. Hi Susanne! You are exactly right, God plans our family, not us. It just took me a little while to realize and accept that. I was barely 22 years old with 3 little ones and had started immediately working on number 4 when my 3rd baby just turned six weeks old. My husband was devastated as well because he really and truly wanted to keep me pregnant for several more years. But the Lord certainly took care of us!

    I wasn’t embarrassed at all with my dad’s remarks about my husband bringing me back pregnant from our honeymoon. My husband was working for my dad for a couple of years and my dad just loved him and actually introduced us when I turned 18 (my husband was 23 at the time.) We fell in love immediately and both my parents were thrilled when we married and they already knew that I was never going to work and would just stay home and have a bunch of babies! They were counting the days to become grandparents!

  11. The purpose of sex is unity between the spouses, not pleasure. It is also wrong to marry, just to have sex, and to use marriage as a canopy for lust.

    To marry for such motives is akin to fornication, in pursuit of one’s lust, and the double-minded attempt to circumvent some (supposed) loophole in the law of God that it is not wrong to marry just for sex.

    And do not get me started on about 1 Corinthians 7:9. It is saying that marriage is the last resort for people who cannot control themselves, but that self-control is the ideal state. Self-control is what one should pursue, rather than allow oneself to lust and place oneself in a position where one has to marry to not fall into fornication – that is already not good.

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