How are we to submit to the Lord? Is is just with our actions but no heart or true desire? No, we want to submit to the Lord because He is worthy, we love Him deeply, and with our entire hearts. He has given us His Word with so many promises and done so much for us that He deserves our lives to bring glory to Him. What does He ask of us? To submit ourselves to our husband.

Once in a while I receive a letter from a woman that I believe will help others who are struggling (with her permission). This woman’s letter will bless you; I am sure of it! It sure blessed me and I will never tire of reading about God’s transforming power in the lives of women.

Dear Lori,

I just wanted to write to say thank you so much for following God’s Word and teaching younger women as it tells you too. I (and my husband 🙂 ) am so grateful I came across your blog. It has been such a precious tool for me to become a transformed wife. Our marriage has healed and thrived since I started following God’s Word as a wife. His ways truly are best! I consider it God’s grace and mercy on me that I came across an older woman like you teaching me His ways for younger women.

I am 25 years old and my husband and I have been married for four and a half years. I came into our marriage loaded with expectations for my husband to meet, also depending on him for my security and happiness. I had many unhealed hurts in my own life, bitterness, and unforgiveness I had never dealt with, so I think I kind of expected my husband to be Jesus to me. Sad to say, I had more plans for the kind of husband he should be than what kind of wife I wanted to or should be.

Of course, this caused a lot of friction between us. I was not respectful to my husband, and I know now that really hurt him and our marriage. I might have been submissive at times on the outside but on the inside I was unsubmissive and rebellious, and yes, I thought it a burden to be under his headship. We fought very, very often, sometimes for hours at a time. It brings tears to my eyes to write this. We were not headed down a good road. We were headed down an ugly, ugly destructive road.

About three and a half years into our marriage, I was reading up on the Duggars and came across “an open letter written to Anna Duggar by blogger Lori Alexander“. I read that letter and remembered being absolutely stunned and amazed how you were encouraging her to forgive her husband in light of such hurt and the other advice you gave her. I decided to check out your blog, and my life has never been the same.

I remember being so convicted at times that I thought to myself I would just quit reading it. But something kept me coming back, and I think it was because your words came straight from God’s Word, and although they pierced me with conviction, they also brought great hope and light to our situation. I began looking at myself and taking the log out of my own eye, rather than constantly taking the speck out of my husband’s eye.

I read the “submit” verse one day and realized it said “wives, submit YOURSELVES to your husband,” not just “submit to your husband.” I then realized that just trying to submit to my husband through my actions wasn’t enough. I needed to submit my whole self to him. My heart needed to change.

I learned to trust God but submit to my husband with my actions, heart, and attitude. I began to read your blog daily along with my own Bible reading. As I began applying what God’s Word says to me, our marriage transformed! I also began seeing a mentor around the same time, and got healed of my past hurts, bitterness, unloving spirit, rebellion, and unforgiveness. I forgave the people who had hurt me, including my husband. The Lord began to heal as I asked Him to and restore. His ways are so good! His plans are beautiful!

My husband often tells me that now he knows I truly love him. He keeps asking me if I know how much he loves me. 🙂 He was sick the other day and I did the same things I normally would to help him get better but I could sense in me that now I did it with joy, pure love, and a help-meet attitude. He told me he sensed it too :).

This past year has been the best, most peaceful year of our marriage, and we look forward to the rest of our years together. God has been so good to us. Obeying Him did not lead us to bondage. Obeying Him and submitting to Him led to healing, hope, light, restoration, and peace. He is good!

Lori, thank you so much for not “tickling our ears” with wishy-washy things we want to hear. Thank you for teaching us younger women God’s ways. Thank you for sticking to God’s Word and His truth, no matter how backwards it sounds to today’s society and culture. God’s ways have brought the healing and hope that nothing else could. Thank you, thank you, thank you!

With love from a grateful wife,
Susan (name changed to keep anonymous)

P.S. Thank you also for the time you said if our husband’s driving scares us, rather than nagging him, put on your seat belt and say a prayer. My prayer life grew after that and so did my relationship with my husband! 😉 Two wins!

Wives, submit yourselves unto your own husbands, as unto the Lord.
Ephesians 5:22