The Mother is the One Supreme Asset of National Life

The Mother is the One Supreme Asset of National Life

You would think I was evil for teaching younger women to be keepers at home and that mothers should be home for their children full time. This topic makes many women angriest, by far, of all the things that I write. They must not believe children are better with their mothers. They must not trust God enough to provide for them if they come home.

Many believe they find satisfaction and fulfillment from a career. They think widows still should work full time even though their poor children have lost their father. Now, they must lose their mother to a full time job? They don’t understand that children who are raised with their mothers are emotionally more stable and secure in life. They believe a mother giving more time to a career is more important than giving more time to their own children. I don’t get it.

Is this cruel of me to have concern for the children? How about the marriages of these working women since the husbands usually are the ones that are neglected the most? Lastly, what about the mothers who are exhausted from trying to work full time, take care of their homes, and be with their children. Do I not care about them? Of course I do.

One woman wrote me and told me to stop teaching women to be keepers at home because no one is listening and no one cares. Another woman wrote an entire post on her blog about how far off I am for teaching this. Well, I will stand before God someday and He is the only one that I will have to give an answer for what I teach women.

Women write me and tell me they are home full time with their children now from reading my blog and they are thankful. Others have told me they are praying that their husbands will change their minds and allow them to come home full time. (I will never understand why some men want someone other than their wives, the mother of their children, to raise their children.) Some are asking the Lord for wisdom in finding a way to make some money from home. Yes, women are listening and some care. It makes sense compared to the nonsense they’ve been listening to their entire lives.

“I want my daughters to grow up to be doctors, lawyers, or whatever they want.” Yes, if this is what you want your daughters to grow up to be and have a stress-filled life with a lot of debt, go for it. After many years in school, then college, then medical school, and finally residency, they will be in their 30s most likely.

While you are having a daughter who is a doctor, I would much rather have a daughter who is having children and is home full time with them. Children are more valuable to me and to the Lord than any career can be. Any career can be filled with someone else but being a mother to a child can not be. Our values have been completely mixed up today.

As President Theodore Roosevelt said, “The mother is the one supreme asset of national life; she is more important by far than the successful statesman or businessman or artist or scientist.” Presidents of old felt this way, whereas President Obama said this while he was in office: “In a speech in Rhode Island in October, President Obama offered his views about child care in a society where many parents have to make difficult choices: ‘Sometimes, someone, usually mom, leaves the workplace to stay home with the kids, which then leaves her earning a lower wage for the rest of her life as a result. And that’s not a choice we want Americans to make'” as if her earning power is more important than being home with her children.

Go back to where the Bible calls mothers to be and realize your importance there.

She openeth her mouth with wisdom; and in her tongue is the law of kindness. She looketh well to the ways of her household, and eateth not the bread of idleness.
Proverbs 31:26, 27

28 thoughts on “The Mother is the One Supreme Asset of National Life

  1. Misery loves company. A working mother recently revealed to me that she felt like she was drowning. On the outside everything looked good in her life. She has two beautiful children, a kind husband, a nice home and cars etc. But her kids’ school puts a lot of expectations on her for Holiday cards, birthday parties, treats etc. While she only works part time it is demanding. Her children are every bit as smart as mine and probably by nature more disciplined and at the top of their class. Literally. But because I homeschool mine are literally years more advanced in their education.

    She also told me that her high powered friend and neighbor who has an MD (and probably debt to go with it) just wants out of the rat race and to be home with her two kids. But I think she is beholden to debt and/or expectations and is emotionally drained.

    So many women (not necessarily including these two examples) claim that working outside the home is the best thing in the world but they are lying to themselves and to others (and they know they are lying).

    1. Every single female doctor woman that I personally knows wishes she could be home full time with her children but because of their debt and all of the time and energy they put into their education, they can’t be home. It’s so sad. When they finally retire from their jobs, they will most likely not hear from any of those they worked with for all of those years anymore but their children will have been denied the benefit of having a mother home full time. Your family is blessed to have you home full time and living a sacrificial life for them!

  2. In today’s world of broken homes and broken children it is hard to believe that our society cannot see it is the result of the lies they were told and they believed a generation ago.

    Women were told they could do whatever they want with their lives with no thought of the damage it would do to their children over time, and over many numbers of women working. What is a Mother to a child but EVERYTHING to them?

    Women were told that they did not have to stay in a relationship that did not fit their feelings, or they felt like they were the sole focus of a husband’s life, so they divorced without thinking of the damage it would do their kids, and now in turn all of society.

    Yes, women were taught to follow their feelings and desires because they were equal to men, while never realizing that most men were not following their feelings or desires but instead putting their hands to the plow and working hard to support a family that would stay together and create his legacy.

    You see, women have been lied to, and its the same lies told over and over again that began in the garden. “God did not really say that did He?” and “You won’t really get into trouble as the apple in front of you looks so delicious…, just eat. Then worry about the long term consequences later.”

    We all eat the apple. We all want to do things our ways, be our own little god of our puny little lives, and seek the immediate pleasures over ignoring the long term consequences. Well the day has come when the consequences are coming home to shower bullets on our children, and wreak havoc on our society.

    Oh, you say, “But I work and there is no problem in my family and with my kids.” And I say “Congrats!” You played Russian roulette with the lives of your children and family and you are one of the maybe 50% that has not suffered divorce, or children damaged because of it. Just keep in mind that the sins of a parent are visited even until the third and fourth generation. You may have escaped, but have your children’s children when now their Mom goes off to try to follow the example set for her by her Mother?

    We live in a depressed, anxious and often dangerous society because the family unit is broken. Moms and Dads chasing their own apples of desires and pleasure all at the expense of their children. Of course these women hate it when Lori speaks the truth to them and try to get them to think about the damage they are causing society.

    And yet I hear them now, “Not me! I was able to avoid the gun going off in my family.” OK, now look to your left and your right, and see that only about 50% of families are escaping the dreaded consequences that come when we walk away from God’s Word and God’s values. And you have taught your sons and daughters to take the chance and eat the fruit as a two worker home surely does provide far more security and pleasures than one Dad who works hard for his family.

    Alas, if we want to look to why some of our kids are so messed up; eating Tide Pods, guzzling alcohol, doing drugs and catching life long sexually transmitted diseases, turning gay, and worse yet cutting off body parts to try and feel whole, look not much further than a Mom who was rarely at home when they needed her love, comfort and correction. Look no further than the stupid experiment perpetuated on America by Dr. Spock of lax discipline. The experiment failed, and now we have half a generation of unhappy and depressed kids and adults. For there are no more apples to eat. We are already eating them all and not a one of them is satisfying.

    To get our society back on track will take a huge amount of energy and effort by those willing to look at the damage caused by Moms leaving their children and lax parenting, and get back in the home and do the work of training. Yes, just as God said from the beginning, “Train them in the way they should go and they will not depart from it.”

    The God who wrote the instruction manual on human love and life has spoken, but will our society listen and allow His Word and values back into our homes and schools and churches. Or are we in for the next generation who not only walks away from God’s values, but chooses to rebel against Him and destroy those who love anything about God and His ways? I pray our society is reaching a turning point, but fear it will once again choose to no longer hearken to the Words of the Lord. Just because you escaped your sins with no seeming bad consequences doesn’t mean the woman you influenced will.

    1. The devastation has been terrible but what can we expect when so many walk away from the ways of the Lord and act as if everything is okay? The children and their children and future generations are the ones bearing the brunt of mothers leaving their homes and we can see all around us the suffering it has caused.

    2. I love what Lori writes in her blog about being a godly wife and mother. She is 100% accurate in showing us ladies God’s truth. With all the sad things happening in the news with our children, it is not hard to see God’s way is the only way. When we look back to the 50’s we see a much different society. What has changed to send us so far downhill from strong families? Mom is not home anymore.

      Ken I love how well you spelled this out. I have always stayed home with our children but I am sorry to admit that I have wondered if my children see me as a person that they don’t look up to because I don’t do amazing things like doctor (that other moms they know do). As if I am a low achiever, dumb. I do have a teaching degree but since they were born I have only used it on them–homeschooling. The oldest turns 30 tomorrow and the other son is 27. They don’t say that and may not even think anything like that. I just guess Satan is still trying to make me think I chose wrong. I know I didn’t but I do feel inferior when I am around the “accomplished” women. So reading how well you spelled out the facts about having mom at home was very affirming to a mom even this far out from having children at home. THank you.

  3. Please make Ken’s comment its own post!!! More people need to read that. So true, so humbling. I went back to work for a couple of years at one point in our lives when my husband’s business went under and thought it was for the best. Justified because grandparents were the babysitters. Found out years later that my beautiful daughter was molested during that time. Oh the heartache…I can hardly type this.

    1. I am so sorry this happened to your daughter. I believe a very important reason God wants mothers to be home full time with their children is to protect them from harm and evil. Hopefully, other mothers who read your comment will do what they can to be home with their children so the same thing won’t happen to them. It’s so prevalent in our highly sexualized culture and it’s tragic.

      Yes, I have already made a post with Ken’s comment. I thought it was great, too.

    2. I too am so sorry. Remember that God can redeem all things, even this terrible sin that was committed against your daughter. I also wanted to commend you. So many many times I see parents justify bad choices and double down on less than ideal outcomes when questioned. I don’t see many who are as reflective as you about your decisions. If it weren’t for the grace of God and continued encouragement from people like Lori, I could have been in the very same situation, making the same choices you made.

      May God bless you and your beautiful daughter!

  4. You are so right Lori! Please don’t ever stop teaching this! I love reading what you write! 🙂 When I say my daughter isn’t going to college I almost do so with hesitation because it seems (to others) like I am setting her up for failure in this life. My husband and I don’t see it that way at all! I truly appreciate all you write and people ARE listening!!! 🙂 Thanks for all you do and I pray you can stay strong amid the barrage of unkind comments/emails you get!

    1. Thank you, Katy. College for women is a modern day concept that has no biblical basis especially since most colleges turn them into feminist that are completely against biblical womanhood. Your daughter is blessed to have parents like you!

  5. I tend to complain a lot…my apologies…

    Last night I got some very good news and I told my husband to call his parents and tell them.

    How long did they spend talking about the good news? 1 minute

    How long did they talk to my husband asking if I’m working and how many hours I work and how many days? The entire conversation

    When my husband was talking to them I even whispered ‘Are they just going to ask about work?’

    It was rude.

    I think they are having financial problems and all of their children are having financial problems so they have taken all this out on Me. But honestly…why are all of the stepbrothers and stepsisters having problems?

    Because all the kids are products of divorce.

    Anyways, Lori I read your blog everyday to keep my spirits up because I am being attacked on all sides.

    My in-laws, my own parents (although my dad has moments of screaming ‘Get a job! A real one!’ and then realizes I’m a wife and *hopefully* future mother and comes back to his senses…I think my Dad genuinely forgets I’m not a man)…My husband’s friends openly mocked me at a dinner party in October…My husband’s co-workers taunt him with stories of their vacations

    I work a few days a week, and this week I’ve worked an extra lot because they needed the help and I enjoy helping to some extent…but I haven’t done anything I was supposed to do for my husband…No dinner, No cleaning, No Sexy time…

    It’s really horrible and I WILL be a stay-at-home mom when God decides to let me have a baby (babiiesss)

    Oh another quick story…My husband called his biological mother the other day and was telling her about a Huge Accomplishment he’s done…I heard her on the phone basically swat it away and then ask…The most wonderful question of them all…

    Are you planning on going on skiing holiday?

    1. This is very sad indeed, Kathy, but you know the truth, thankfully. Some women in the chat room were saying that their mothers were going to see the new Fifty Shades movie. Where are the godly, older women who walk faithfully with the Lord and are teaching the young women biblical womanhood? And we wonder why our nation is such a mess. It’s all so very sad.

  6. Lori I’m so glad you are sharing your passion for women being keepers at home. I wish I had been told these things when I was young. I worked for many years outside the home including when my children were small. I didn’t realize I could even ask the Lord to provide a way for me to be at home. I’ve always loved all things domestic. Unfortunately I was around women who were shakers and movers and was asked by one, when my children were young, what was the matter with me that I wasn’t working at a job. The sad thing was she was from my church, not long after I went to work…Keep sharing what you are sharing, you are appreciated.

  7. It is hard to believe following God’s word causes so many hate filled arguments. I appreciate your encouragement. I do care that so many children are being raised by strangers.

    Thank you Lori for putting up with all of the negative comments.

    Linda

  8. A woman’s place is in the home, tending to the needs of her husband and her children! It doesn’t get more black and white than that. The best thing you can do in order to afford to be able to stay home is to be a good steward of your husband’s income. Learn to say no to luxuries. Be content with the abundance that is before you. Whenever you spend money, know that your husband may have had to work hours just for you to buy that item. This is a very humbling way to look at money, but the rewards are immense. You cannot put a price tag on the souls of your children. Treat them as priceless treasures.

  9. I listen and am thankful for the encouragement because those of us who stay home with our children often get criticized and/or have self-doubt. So strange – why should anyone care if we choose to stay home? They don’t criticize the day care worker who chooses to take care of children all day. We may forego some extra things, but it’s all worth it!

  10. I feel that your posts leave me feeling convicted – in a good way. Please keep writing! I’m the mom who works full-time and prays that my husband has a change of heart. Your posts keep me feeling grounded. They remind me of what’s important to God’s Kingdom, and my role as a wife and mother.

    I could literally write a book on how wrong working full-time (in Corporate America – which I find even worse) is. How it has even made me more sinful in nature (for all sorts of reasons). How it has made me extremely bitter towards my husband (don’t even get me started on how I know for a fact that working is one of the main reasons for divorce – I see it every day and have even had thoughts about it). How every night I feel so much guilt because when I am home with my family, I’m not giving them the best of me (because I’m mentally exhausted and irritable). I have heard many working mothers say that working full-time makes them appreciate the time they do have at home and they are able to give their family/children their best self. This is a lie. How can you? It’s hard to switch roles in the evenings (going from career mode to mom/wife mode). It’s strange, but I have to mentally flip a switch when I get home because I’m so tired and sometimes don’t even feel like doing anything else, or having a conversation. It’s sad but I give more of my “best self” to my boss, rather than my family.

    I have 100% seen how being away from home has effected my son. He’s so much happier when he’s at home with me vs. when he’s at “school” – he comes home much more irritable and rebellious (he’s 3). It’s sad, and I have spent many nights crying over it. I have missed so much of his life, and have missed out on raising him how he should be raised. I’m failing as a mother. This exact reason is why I have also chosen to not have anymore children. It’s not fair to them. Sad.

    I’m typing this as I’m sitting in a meeting with 5 other men (which is surprising because normally I’m sitting in meetings where men are the minority (sad, once again)). I sit here and try to tell myself that what I’m doing is fine and try to talk myself out of feeling so guilty. I have fallen into the trap where feminism tries to tell me that having that guilt is WRONG and that having a career is where I SHOULD be. Your posts reassure me to keep praying for my husband and to recognize that this isn’t where God wants me to be.

    Sorry for the rant! 🙂

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