Thoughts of Those Who Had Career Mothers

Thoughts of Those Who Had Career Mothers

Careers and jobs were intended for men to make a way to provide for their families, not for women to forsake marriage, forsake bearing children, and forsake raising them full time. This has to be one of Satan’s greatest deceptions upon mankind.

Feminism has done NOTHING to make children’s lives better, only worse. Millions have been and are being brutally murdered in the womb. Many are left abandoned all day while their mothers pursue their “dreams.” Divorce is rampant and the children suffer.  Many women fight me on the issue of mothers being keepers at home. They want their careers but has anyone asked how the children of these career women feel? I did. I asked the women in the chat room who had full-time working mothers outside of the home what it was like and here are some of their responses.

“Stressful and now that we’re grown, she has very little to do with us because now it’s her turn to not have to be a mother ? – her words.”

“My mom was a nurse and her hours were 3:00 -11:00 pm. She was sleeping when I went to school, getting ready for work when I came home from school, and at work when I went to bed. She also worked some weekends. My mom working all those hours allowed me to be really close with my dad.”

 “Mom was always working or running off to work because she would get called in. I don’t remember her reading books or having that quality time with us. I remember her being so tired and my dad was usually angry over the housework. Take out became more and more what we ate.”

“Supposedly my mom was home for a while but I don’t remember it. I remember going to daycare. I remember, as we got older, my brother and I being home a lot while my parents worked or went out partying with friends. I remember my parents always being angry and always fighting about money. There was a lot of stress.”

Lonely. I was a latch key kid. My mom locked her bedroom door at night, too, so we wouldn’t go in there – she worked and needed her sleep. I remember sleeping on the floor outside of her door crying myself to sleep many nights. She was loving but had to be both mom and dad because my parents divorced when I was three. When I was 10, my older sister was diagnosed with type 1 diabetes – this depressed my mom further and changed our lives forever. Then in high school, she went on six week training sessions out of state often. I never had enough of my mom. I swore I would never be that way once I had children.”

“Busy. I was always at someone else’s house wishing she was home doing what their moms were doing. She wasn’t very patient and I was always in activities wanting to be home instead.”

 “Lonely. I am an only child of two working parents. I was in daycare until I was 10 or 11, and then home alone after that. Weekends were full of grocery shopping and errands that my mom didn’t have time for during the week. No one ever checked my homework and no one ever checked on who my friends were. I did a lot of things I should not have, and my parents never found out, because they were never there.”

“It was hard. I’ve literally blocked some of that, because I don’t know how to deal with it. I’m the oldest and was responsible for a lot.”

 “My mom worked 4:00 pm to close at a restaurant. It meant that we woke ourselves up, got ready, and woke her up to drive us to school. When we got home, she was getting ready for work. We had a babysitter until I was old enough to babysit from 3:00-5:30 pm when my dad got home. He came home and immediately started dinner. He would check homework and make sure we showered and cleaned our room. Then we would usually watch a show like American Idol together before bed. The older we got, the more chaos it was with sports, extracurricular activities, etc. It taught me to be extremely independent and I didn’t have a rough transition to college, marriage, and motherhood, because I had so much practice running a household and caring for kids. But I definitely don’t want that for our family.”

“My mom divorced my dad when I was young and remarried a few years later. When I was in high school, my mom went back to school to get her nursing degree. That was THE WORST. My stepfather was a child abuser and she was leaving my sisters and I home alone with him while she went to school. She knew he was an abuser. My childhood was really messed up. But the worst part of it was her going to school and leaving us home with a bad man night after night.”

 “My mom was a single mom (divorce was her choice, by the way) who worked two jobs outside the home. I don’t remember my early early years but I do remember having a babysitter after school between 7:00-10:00 pm then when I was 10 years old, I became the caretaker for my brother and myself. Most of the time, my mom was angry and stressed so when she was home, life was not that pleasant and when she was gone, it was hard being mom to myself and my brother and taking care of the house and meals.”

“My mom stayed home with my brother for a year or so and went back to work quickly after my birth and I always resented her for it as a kid. I had many babysitters and went to daycare. I always cried. I missed my mother very much.  My parents were divorced and my dad started picking me up from daycare early because I would beg him not to leave me.”

 “My mom and dad split up around the time I turned five years old. So she worked pretty much from as far back as I can remember. I was in day care and pre-school when I was little, then once I started school I was in after school day care. When that got too expensive, I started staying with my grandma for a few hours after school.

“Once I was about eight or nine, I was home alone from the time school got out until my mom got home. I lived across the street from the school, so at least I didn’t have far to walk.  When I was nine, my mom remarried and my step-sister came to live with us. She went to a different school, and so she was in day care until her dad would pick her up and bring her home.

“Once we went to the same school, I was pretty much in charge after school. My mom was so exhausted by the time she got home, we pretty much ate fast food most nights, and watched TV. Being on my own so much meant I started hanging out with the wrong people starting in junior high and carrying into high school. My sophomore year, I met my husband (we married two years out of high school). Once we met, we were pretty much inseparable. I won’t say we never got into trouble but we didn’t get into as much. We are both saved now, me in 2006 and he in 2010 and have six kids. Life was lonely, because my mom didn’t want me to have anyone over while I was home alone. I understand that, but it meant I was alone a lot.”

 “I think the main thing is that we didn’t spend much time together as a family and I spent almost no time with her, other than driving in the car to things. She was a teacher, so her time outside of work was occupied with grading papers, lessons plans, and catching up on housework when she wasn’t at her job. We really had no family ‘culture’ if that makes sense. Because I spent so little time with my mom, I was much more peer-oriented than I probably would have been otherwise and I was highly influenced by the culture and media. Nancy Campbell has said that the Greek word used in the Bible that is translated ‘keeper at home’ gives the idea of a watchdog. I believe that Satan likes women being out of the home and preoccupied with their job/career because it allows him easier access to the children.”

 “Working single mom – I ate breakfast in front of TV. Walked to school by myself. Came home and ate all I could find, then played video games until bed.”

“My mom divorced my dad when I was five years old and she was very involved in her career. I never saw her until she picked me up at my grandma’s at 5:00 pm. She always tells me all these stories about us doing things together but I can’t remember anything, I just remember feeling lonely. There’s so many things that happened to me because I was left with family friends when my grandma couldn’t keep me. I was a very depressed girl who then became very rebellious and blamed my mom for everything. Now I know it is not her fault the things that I did but the divorce of my parents and not having anyone with me made me very insecure and affected me a lot. Thankfully, Christ saved me and all of that changed.”

“My mother was single and worked my entire life (she retired in 2011). I spent years of my elementary years in before and after child care due to her work schedule and location. We had a long commute in the morning and evening to get home. I hated it. We spent very little time together because she was always tired and spent her off work hours doing housework and running errands. It was lonely. I spent a lot of time reading. Thankfully, we lived across the street from my grandmother and I was able to spend time with her.”

Can a woman forget her sucking child, that she should not have compassion on the son of her womb? yea, they may forget, yet will I not forget thee.
Isaiah 49:15

25 thoughts on “Thoughts of Those Who Had Career Mothers

  1. I too had a career mother. Unlike the feminist workaholics though, she sacrificed hours and indeed promotions so she could raise me and be a constant presence in my life. That said, despite only working 2 days a week in my childhood, those two days until I was much older were hard for me, as I was a huge mommy’s girl! Now I’m an adult, she can work more hours again, but she said if she could financially, she would have jumped at the choice to be a full time mother and homemaker! Despite her career, my father and I were her #1 priority.

  2. I really related to the person whose mother worked as a nurse from 3 to 11 -I had a similar situation and feel like I could have written that exact same comment! My mom was asleep in the mornings and my grandmom got me up for school and made me dinner in the evenings. On her days off my mom was so tired she would sleep most of the day and then spend the rest of the time off cramming errands in. She was always exhausted. My dad also worked 3 to 11, but I’m much closer to him than to my mom. He took Wednesdays and Saturdays off and would spend lots of time with me. I don’t say this to make my mom look bad, because I know she tried her best. One day she said to me that she wishes she had stayed home and maybe had more children. (I have one older brother. He’s 11 years older than me and we’ve never been very close). My parents are still married, but their relationship isn’t great.

    Very interesting perspectives overall. I will definitely be a SAHM because I know I can’t handle both a job and motherhood.

    Thank you for this blog, Lori. It’s good to read things like this in the current toxic feminist culture.

  3. I believe that, generally speaking, it’s best for the family if the mother stays home. (I do this with my kids.) I would point out, though, that your examples might be a bit biased, because they’re coming from your chat room; presumably, most of them are there to hear your words of wisdom, and so are probably predisposed to agree that staying home is best.

    None of this is to invalidate the experiences you relate. I have heard other adults, however, speak positively of their home life with two working parents–or negatively of their home life with a stay-at-home mom.

  4. My mom was single and worked full time. I always missed her when she was away but I must say she cared so much about me and loved me. I always knew that. She was always the one to put me on the bus in the morning. After school I went to my cousins house and then my grandma picked me up until my mom got out of work. It was a lot of driving around and looking back now I just thought it was normal. But I always missed my mom. I remember crying when she dropped me off at school. And when I got older and i was able to stay home alone after school, I had WAY to much time to be alone and get into trouble! Especially in the summer I would spend the whole day alone at home.
    I do remember doing fun things together and in the weekend we would just spend time at home. Mostly watching TV or cleaning, but I’m thankful that at least we were together.
    I’m glad my kids are always with me!

  5. Yes, I know there are always exceptions. There were a few women in the chat room who had good experiences with their mothers working but, by far, the majority of them did not. If God commands women be keepers at home, there are very good reasons for this. Besides being lonely and feeling unprotected, as many of these women shared, studies prove that children who have GOOD full-time mothers are more emotionally stable and secure than those who do not.

  6. I am curious about your thoughts on something… If a mother is single is it preferable for her to stay home and take welfare of to work and not need welfare? Thanks!

  7. Biblically, those who are widows are to be first, supported by their families and relatives, and older widows by the churches if she has no family or relatives. Young nor old widows weren’t intended to leave their children and homes to make a living. This clearly shows God’s heart for women to stay in their homes.

    Many single mothers are choosing to be single by divorcing their husbands. This is a huge problem and this is why I encourage marriage until death do they part. Some single mothers have found ways to make money from home and this is the best solution for them. I am not against a destitute single mother who can do nothing to support herself due to health problems to receive some welfare. Some have day cares in their homes. I would do anything to be able to be home with my children and trust God, because nothing is impossible with Him!

  8. Dear Lori,

    My mom was home with us six children but really wasn’t home. She would leave us in our rooms or send us outside while she watched soap operas and cleaned house. We were always shewed out of the way. We were fed ok and sent to bed so she and dad could have their time. When we were older she got a job … Dad drank a lot and she was always MAD ! she hardly ever fixed any of us breakfast or supper we had to fend for ourselves . She and Dad was always gone. When I was old enough to drive me and my sister took on the responsibility of our younger sisters. Ball practice, feeding them, starting the fires in the rent house ,washing clothes…. mom wasn’t home to do them and when she was she never had real fellowship with us or paid us attention. Dad was the same way but a little nicer.

    If you do have to work seek the Lord and pray for the family(kids). If you are staying at home be a real mother to your children! Talk to them treat them kindly. Teach them how to work. Give plenty of hugs and kisses! But most of all show them LOVE! Teach them the word and bring them to church.. Live a life in Christ they will want to live’

  9. How about those countries in which when the youngest child reaches 6, you are expected to get part time work, study or volunteer in order to continue receive child endowment payment? Some moms simply have no choice but to work.

  10. Those who do not heed the instructions of God, whether or not they confess Jesus as Lord, remain subject to the rules of physics, biology. (Ma 5:45)

    Here is a woman who chose the path of the World:
    Here is for emphasis the important take-aways:

    Needless to say, it is a blessing that she was unsuccessful in conceiving a child, as this artificial insemination would have left her rearing a child alone, out of wedlock. There is no more selfish an act that a woman can make.

    Ladies, Lori speaks the wisdom and truth of the Word. Do not waste your youth chasing academic milestones (1 Cor 3:19) and neglecting your calling (Gen 2:18). Those who do not heed the Word are eventually released to the natural destruction a wayward life brings (Rom 1:28-32).

    Career mothers bring about suffering to themselves and others. It is not God’s intention.

  11. churches can also cause this. our church started a daycare many years ago. stay at home moms including mine were pulled out of their homes to work in this so called ministry. the wise ones left the church but were slandered from the pulpit. mine stayed and worked 60 plus hrs a wk till she got so ill the dr was going to put her in the hospital. she got well and went back to this ministry. the saving grace for sis and I was our Christian school and the caring staff there. they pulled us thru those yrs w/their love and caring on top of excellent teaching. thank you for publishing the truth about this. the church said they need the daycare for ministry, but it really turned out to be a source of revenue for the church. only one daycare family ever attended the church, and they had mental issues that were beyond the scope of the pastor.

  12. Many women fight me on the issue of mothers being keepers at home.

    Actually, they’re not fighting you; they’re fighting God.

    I’ve never seen you address this topic without providing direct quotes from Scripture that are very clear and unambiguous in stating that God’s intended role for wives and mothers is keeper of the home. Your detractors really need to be honest and direct their ire at whom they know is their real target.

  13. My husband’s parents both worked full time since we was a child. Lots of babysitters. He once said he and his two siblings raised themselves and lived on takeout. His parents weren’t around to talk to but to be fair, that was the norm back in the 1970’s-1980’s. Most parents didn’t spend time with the kids after they were teens.

    Both of my SILs are extremely successful physicians and had their kids in daycare or had their husband watch them full time. They also had MIL take their kids every other weekend (Fri-Sun) for years. I feel like they look down on me because I haven’t done anything with my life yet at the same time are jealous of me. I never asked MIL to babysit my kids. My SIL dismiss my kids being honest, or doing homework without being told. To them, me being a SAHM has helped nothing with the development of my children. I never once said anything negative about WAHMs so I don’t understand.

    Lastly, I don’t think my husband thinks I can be satisfied being a SAHM to five kids. (Oldest child moved out a few years ago.). He works with women and I think they tell him to ask me if I feel fulfilled. I know they mean well.

  14. I found this discussion very interesting. My mother had to go to work after my father abandoned the family, but she always made it clear that she would prefer to be at home with us. Loving, kind, and always very tired by the time she got home. I learned to cook, clean, and do laundry to help out and my brothers did the yard work and the outdoor chores. We got part-time jobs as teenagers and tried not to add to her burdens. Very close family despite (or perhaps because of) the situation. My husband was raised by an impatient, overwhelmed single mother from early childhood who worked long hours. He had a hard and lonely childhood and he and his siblings have a difficult and distant relationship with their mother. I am sorry for this and hope that they learn to forgive her. Our mutual experience solidified our approach to marriage and parenting and our children are reaping the benefits of having two loving parents living the traditional role of provider and homemaker.

  15. What’s your opinion on mothers who must work to support their children as a result of their husbands leaving them. Do you think that it is acceptable for these women to work so they can keep their children clothed, fed, entertained, heathy, etc. Or do you believe that it would be better for them to stay home. Are there any circumstances in which you would support women working or is it something you are always against?

  16. It happens all around the world…. not everyone has the ability of living the cushy lives we do in the states.
    Sri Lanka

  17. One of my closest friends had no choice but to leave her husband. What was going on started to affect her children. Luckily they are of school age. She got a job working school hours, and is able to be there in the morning and afternoon. Are there any reasons when divorce is acceptable?

  18. I was lucky and my mom was a housewife. She took me to school and picked me up from school. She was there to cook my meals and my dads meals and she helped me with all my homework. I’m glad I had a housewife for a mom. I didn’t get into trouble like my cousins who were latch key and I was very happy.

  19. My Mother worked all my life on a low paid job and as a family i did not spend a great deal of time with my family….

    I am trying to spend as much time as I can with my own daughter

  20. My mom was the president at her company. She would lock her bedroom door while she was gone and the pantry and freezer. So I would stash food anytime I could because I didn’t know when I was going to eat again. I had to walk two miles home from my bus stop. One day when I was walking home I saw some chips left on the side of the road in dirt, I was so hungry that I ate them. My mom never make us breakfast didn’t pack a lunch and we didn’t have dinner some nights because she was to tired. There is a lot more that she did or didn’t do but I still have nightmares about my childhood. I’m a stay at home and refuse to be like my mom.

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