What Men Thought of My Viral Post

What Men Thought of My Viral Post

There was definitely mass hysteria among Christians surrounding my viral post. It’s a clear example of how easily women are led by their emotions and feelings instead of the truth of God’s Word. A man who runs a popular blog for men wrote about this hysteria: “Lori Alexander set the Christian Feminists clucking with her recent post Men Prefer Debt-Free Virgins Without Tattoos. The furious response was entirely predictable precisely because what Lori wrote is true. Feminists can’t stand the idea of giving young women good advice on how to compete for the best husbands, as this puts the feminist dream of having it all in jeopardy.”

The following are some quotes from men who commented on his post. These comments show these men get it in a world that is quickly losing the point of Christianity. Since most of you have only read the numerous articles and watched YouTube videos attacking me for writing the post, I thought I would give you a different perspective.

“A spot on article. These ladies act as though, for the majority of history, tattooed, in-debt, whores were all the rage and now this article is going against the grain! Quite the opposite! Its a sad view on where our society, and modern Christianity, have ended up.”

“I have never seen such a concerted attack on Christian sexual ethics as I have in response to this article. It’s never been more obvious to me just how far gone the Western church is.”

“Reading comprehension isn’t popular any more, apparently; this is the third woman [who wrote an article against Lori] to read ‘men prefer’ and somehow transmute that into something like ‘God loves only….’ There are a lot of women who really want to tell men what they should prefer…or else!”

“Neither Lori… nor Lori’s defenders once said that women who have had premarital sex, or women with debt, or women with tattoos are impure, irredeemable, irretrievably corrupt, worthless, cannot marry, or should not marry. No one says these women are unattractive.

“All that was asserted is that Christian men PREFER tattoo free, debt free virgins FOR MARRIAGE. And that has been distorted and bastardized into ‘nonvirgin women with tattoos and debt are worthless, corrupt, impure, ugly, awful and terrible.’ No one anywhere said that or anything even close to that.”

“I do have some sympathy for the reaction this article of Lori’s has caused. I would feel incredibly guilty too if I had deviated from what I know to be right. It is natural to feel guilty when you know you have done something wrong. I guess we have all experienced this in one way or another.”

A man responded to the quote above: “I don’t feel any sympathy, but exactly the opposite, because exactly the WRONG reaction is triggered. When you FEEL guilty, maybe it is because you ARE guilty of sinning. In such cases there’s only ONE thing to do: repent and ask God for forgiveness! NOT trying to argue it away or accuse people of heaping shame on sinners for calling out the sin. The latter is the WORST you can do, and the LEAST we should expect from Christians. I cannot believe such basics of faith are not comprehended.

“No, the real problem is that Alexander puts her thumb squarely on a sore spot for soft complementarians and Christian feminists: resentment of the judgment of men.”

“Sleeping around, debt, and tattoos indicate a lack of self-control and wisdom. They’re undesirable. If a man is willing to overlook red flags, then fine, but just like with any other vocation it takes two to tango, and it’s not wrong to reject a former [loose woman] for marriage any more than it is for a company to reject hiring a former thief as its accountant. Sometimes you do stupid stuff and it comes back to bite you, even if you’re forgiven by Christ. That’s life as an adult, ladies.”

“They should just name their posts: God wants you to be a virgin and that’s exactly why you shouldn’t be one. Notice that it is ‘prefer’ (men prefer), not that men will only accept such.. but still, just that men prefer something to something else sets them ablaze. Men are not allowed to have a preference at all apparently.”

“You can set a clock on the predictability of these people and their hysterical responses to cold hard truth. Of course men find women more desirable if they look feminine (no tattoos), act feminine (not a crazed man hating feminist), and haven’t had countless men [have sex with them]. In any other period of time, when sanity ruled, people would have read this and rolled their eyes that something this obvious even needed to be said.

“These contemptible, screeching women always fall back to the old tried and true line that God is a God of grace and He forgives you regardless of your past blah, blah, blah. Yes, He is a forgiving God and full of grace, but He still lays out His preferred (i.e. the optimal) way of doing things. He clearly says to not engage in premarital sex and speaks against tattoos (Leviticus 19:28) and lots of piercings while encouraging modesty (1 Timothy 2:9).

“In light of these few examples, it’s difficult to argue Lori is wrong with the stance she takes in her article. It’s no sin to marry a college educated, non-virgin tattooed woman, but anytime you deviate from the God-prescribed way of doing things, you are just asking for serious problems.”

“People (of both sexes) like to delude themselves into believing that because God forgives them of their sins (if they REPENT – another inconvenient requirement churchians want to flush down the memory hole) that this also automatically removes temporal consequences that arise from their sins. Nope.

“God’s forgiveness simply means that His grace has redeemed your soul. That has nothing to do with earthly consequences of sin. A prostitute who contracts AIDS in the ‘line of duty’ might be redeemed after accepting Christ as her savior, but that doesn’t automatically mean that she’s cured of her disease or that she magically becomes marriage material so that some Christian man should wife her up.”

“What is funny is that in most of the rest of the world (outside of the West), not only is this centuries-old norm understood, but people would be surprised that anyone thinks otherwise.”

“Would these ladies be freaked out by an article titled ‘Women dig financially independent guys who stay fit and don’t watch porn?'”

“Isn’t Alexander also the woman who advocated not expecting your husband to do chores? That makes the second time she’s provoked a strong and bitter reaction. Unlike parents touting their boys prancing about in full makeup, or women describing their abortion, I would call her post courageous. Funny old world, when depravity is normal and virtue shocking.”

“Most these responses are upset that someone said a truth they don’t like. Few are disputing that men really do prefer debt-free virgins for marriage. They are railing at reality. They are arguing for men to change their mind, but most accept this is what men want for a spouse. For Christian men, it’s not even close.

“Of course, we live in a fallen world and some will make mistakes. But the ideal should be very clear for men and women and we should all celebrate those who are chaste and work to restore that as the norm.

“I think so many have sinned so much that as a society we try and minimize sin instead of accept our dependence on Christ. ‘Oh, fornicating before marriage is no big deal. Everyone does it. They were in love.’ If you truly experienced the realization of your sins and Christ’s grace, you would do everything in your world to convince men and women to avoid these serious sins. You would never make excuses. You would beg and plead that young women went to marriage virgins. But we just blithely smear grace over everything we do and forget the price paid.”

“The new tack Christian feminists take is that virginity isn’t important. Following God’s rules isn’t important. If you point out someone isn’t a virgin (more likely that they were promiscuous at one or more points in their lives), you’re ‘attacking’ them and focusing on ‘all the wrong things.’

“We bear the scars of our sexual pasts. Repeated heartache and pain of breakup and loss. Trust issues. Inability or unwillingness to bond. Inability/unwillingness to trust one of the opposite sex. Incurable STDs, especially herpes, HPV, and a host of others. Sexual ‘hangups’ or reservations caused by bad experiences in the past. Rape. Unwanted pregnancy. Abortion. Never learning healthy relationships with the opposite sex.”

“And it’s not so much people saying ‘if you’re not a virgin you’re forever corrupt and impure and dirty.’ It’s people saying ‘the Biblical rule is no sex outside marriage, and you broke that rule, and there are consequences to breaking that rule.’

“All one has to do to find the consequences of it are to go to your local family court and watch the endless parade of fractured hearts, souls, and families. Check out Planned Parenthood. Check out a local clinic. Twenty five percent of American women are under the care of a mental health professional and/or are on antidepressant medications.

“Women have more personal liberty and freedom now than at any other time in human history, and yet they’re miserable. They get unhappier by the year. They can have sex with literally anyone they want, anytime they want, anywhere they want. And it still isn’t enough to make them happy.”

“Lori Alexander told the truth. Gotta give her credit for going against the flow of feminism.”

“Obedience to God is a manifestation of worshiping God. Getting a good man is one fruit of that obedience. Besides, these days, a virgin is just about as rare as a Proverbs 31 woman. I am sure there is a correlation to this.”

Who can find a virtuous woman? For her price is above rubies.
Proverbs 31:10

32 thoughts on “What Men Thought of My Viral Post

  1. Wow! I read your posts everyday. I had no idea this went viral. I suppose it’s because I read them in the morning before all the responses are posted. As a Christian mother I continue to be so grateful for your clear teaching. It helps me immeasurably in my marriage and raising my precious children. It is sad that these Christian women are advocating for their daughters to have debt, disease (stds, mental) and disfigurement (tats). The lack of understanding of the sexual act and it’s representation of spiritual truths is a major reason so many women falter in this area. It is shameful that women who profess Christ excuse away all of his teachings. I want better for my daughter. Yes, God can redeem all things but why not follow His ways from the beginning?

  2. I agree with M. I read your posts every day and they help me with my marriage and how I raise my sons.
    Sometimes I don’t feel like being submissive to my husband and sometimes I believe the world who is telling me being a wife, a mother and a keeper at home is less than I deserve. It’s your posts filled with truth that bring me back to reality. Your posts might not be what I want to hear, but they certainly are what I need to hear. Thank you Lori, you keep me going and because of your posts I learned to be a joyful keeper at home.

  3. I am truly baffled at how silly women are today. They get all in a flurry about the simplest of issues and create arguments that otherwise could of been avoided. Forget women who are in debt, have tattoos and sleep around. I think emotional, unstable women who twist things and create arguments are a bigger abomination than anything else. Disgraceful behavior that has nothing to do with Christ.

  4. Don’t give up Lori! I love your posts and that you speak the truth. All we can do is pray that these women will wake up one day and realize you are correct.

    As for now they are too focused on hating anyone that doesn’t agree with them.

      1. If anything, the backlash and the fact that this went viral may be for a bigger reason. I came across a YouTube video responding to that piece of yours which is how I found your blog today. I am a 20 year old Christian woman (my birthday was yesterday) living in a community where I have felt as if the time of biblical manhood and womanhood has gone and I even find myself not being comfortable enough to love the Lord out loud because of these influences. I have had to endlessly defend my choice to wait until marriage to the point of doubting myself and i have had to make excuses to the people around me as to why i don’t want a tattoo. I am in college but I have grown up seeing men not acting or pursuing their role as men in the home which leave women no choice but to take charge so I do feel like I need a safety net in case it isnt God’s will for me to marry or some other circumstances come into play. I look forward to reading more of your pieces and growing in my walk with what God has called for my life. I say all this to say, maybe the purpose for that post going viral was to expand your audience of women like me. Thanks again for this safe, learning space.

  5. As soon as I read your title for this article i knew people would be up in arms. It is so very hard to hear the truth. I love your articles. They are being biblically sound. All these “Christian” women need to do is research what you have said in the bible. I read the title to my husband and he responded by saying, “ absolutely, any man that is 100% truthful would agree!”Thank you for this additional artical with the male response.

    1. As the darling Sarah Palin once quipped when she too was under fire from the synthetic outrage mob, “The flak is heaviest when you’re over the target.”

  6. Christ > humanity. How do I know? This article. Whether I have or have not gone to college, had sex before marriage, aquired debt, gotten a tattoo, etc. does not make me any less worthy of the sacrificial love of Jesus Christ, so what right does any earthly man (or woman) have to call me less than worthy to simply be his wife due to the same criteria?! Christ > humanity. Be careful that you preach Christ and not your own ideals.

    1. You seem to assume that because Christ’s grace covers all sins that somehow there is no consequences for sin on those who are redeemed. Unfortunately the earthly consequences of sins often remain far past the time of conversion. You do not stop thinking about past lovers just because you have been saved. You do not get rid of STD’s and emotional scars, just because the grace of God covers you. You also seem to believe that just because God calls you worthy and redeemed in Christ, that a young man or woman are not to make good judgments in determining who will be the best choice in a spouse. It would be foolish for a godly young man or woman not to consider a future spouse’s past as it is impossible to truly know one’s heart for God until years later. After all, we are to be known by the fruit we bear for God, and a large part of that fruit is righteousness.

      1. Hi Lori. To further your comments, as a man, I can certainly consider a woman to be unworthy based on my own individual preferences and standards. It may not matter to me whether a woman has a tattoo or not. But, just as I would be less (or not at all) interested in a woman who smoked, because I happen not to, I’d also have less interest in one who had a full leg tattoo, than one with just a small tattoo somewhere. It would appear the person commenting above, completely missed the point.

      2. Lori, you are right. My husband and I did not come to the Lord until later in our 20th and the garbage we experienced in the past is still baggage even though we have been redeemed and cleansed by the blood. The consequences of past sin are not erased by a magical eraser. Romans 3:9-18 is exactly why they hate your post and Christians have bought the lies and justify their love for sin. Just because we are saved does not mean we cannot sin. Keep up the good work. I struggle as much with my sin nature as others, but that does not mean that I can twist scripture to justify my action.

    2. ‘ Whether I have or have not gone to college, had sex before marriage, aquired debt, gotten a tattoo, etc. does not make me any less worthy of the sacrificial love of Jesus Christ, so what right does any earthly man (or woman) have to call me less than worthy to simply be his wife due to the same criteria?! ‘

      You’re confusing what Christ is about versus what men prefer for marriage.

      Besides if we go off THE model for marriage it is Christ and the church. What kind of church would it be if it said that it’s okay for people to fornicate outside of marriage when it clearly says in Scripture it is not ok?

    3. An obese unemployed with a criminal record and pornography addiction also has the sacrificial love of Jesus Christ. By your own logic, what right does any woman have to call him less than worthy to be her husband?

      Also, *nobody* is worthy of the sacrificial love of Jesus Christ. We are all *unworthy*, which is why we needed His sacrifice in the first place, and why we thank and praise Him for His sacrifice. It is patently unchristian to consider oneself worthy or deserving of *anything*, let alone a husband or wife.

      Finally, the Bible specifically instructs us on what makes a good wife (Proverbs 31), and has a litany of examples of men who made poor decisions in partners. To claim that men having preferences for good, Godly women is unbiblical and selfish is the opposite of the truth. I encourage you to reflect on what I and others have said, and wish you the best.

  7. Before we were married my wife worked at a top of the line company. One day, in my frustration, I asked her why she would not better herself with graduate school because she could have gone to almost any school she preferred. She responded by pointing out that every woman that she worked with and had a graduate degree also had a bad marriage, and she didn’t want a bad marriage. I was amazed at the depth and wisdom of her answer. I was humbled in a good way by her answer. To this day, now as my wife, the reason we can afford for her to stay home with our kids is because she has no debt.

  8. Well done, Lori. Not only are you blessed with adhering to His words as expressed in the Bible, you have the gumption to express them, and to stick to them when post/anti/fake “Christians” whine that you’re not adhering to the “REAL” Gospel of feminism, that of “anything goes if it benefits women in the short term”. As far as the LONG term goes, ending up like the famous feminist Shulamith Firestone, who died childless and alone, not found for a number of days, partially eaten by her cats, is hardly a good outcome for women, but it’s the one feminists are pushing most women towards, aware or not.

    I do wish you’d reference the Teachman study at http://socialpathology.blogspot.com/2010/09/sexual-partner-divorce-risk.html, on how women choosing to have even a very few premarital partners shoots their prospects of a lifelong marriage in the gut. Further, the telegony issue should also be more publicized on your site.
    That’s where a woman’s previous sexual partners permanently leave their DNA in her brain, and apparently ovaries. The result is that if a man impregnates a woman who has had ANY previous partners, any resulting children would not be entirely “his”, that he’d be at least in part cuckolded. Again, science shows that the Bible had it right all along.

  9. The “Christian” Leftists deliberately misunderstood the original post. They wanted to be offended. They are such hypocrites, because they would never apply the same rules to women and shame them for not wanting a fat, unemployed, tatted, ex-con who had just repented and believed.

    Of course there is grace for any sin if we repent and believe, but the naivete of feminists thinking there are no consequences to their behavior is ridiculous.

  10. Classic comic strip (just one panel, relatively SFW) on this: https://i1.wp.com/i.imgur.com/4lBBy.jpg?zoom=2

    When an unmarried, careerist-prioritized woman in her late 30s or older plaintively asks, where is her Prince Charming (now that she wants ONE guy), there’s an easy answer:
    “Back in your twenties where you left him, and where he needed you, he figured you weren’t interested, so he married someone else, if he didn’t permanently give up on the whole idea.”

  11. Hi Lori, I read both of your articles on this topic and I was just wondering, as a tattooed, non-virgin, in debt 25 year old woman is there no hope for me to find a husband? I’ve read that my past actions still have long term consequences despite Grace, so I just wanted to know how I could/should proceed in life now if a good marriage and a husband who wants me is out of the cards. I look forward to your ideas on this! I’m really feeling hopeless and lost at the moment

  12. I have observed that when dealing with feminist, if you bring up the fact that men have any kind of standards, they lose their minds. Many of these women hold the belief that the universe owes them a husband, owes them happiness, owes the material wealth. Grace is not properly understood with them.

  13. I’m not a Christian, but I must agree with you. Men vastly prefer virgins without tattoos. People don’t realize this has nothing to do with religion; men throughout the entirety of human history have regarded virgin women as pure and worthy of having children with. As for the tattoos, women who have them signal a lack of respect for their body and also poor foresight.

    I hope more women get to hear your message, specially the young ones.

  14. Hello, Ms. Alexander,

    I came to your blog by a rather offhand path. There was a “recommended page” in my Facebook sidebar to “Debt Free Virgins Without Tattoos”. I couldn’t quite make out what to think of it. On the one hand, espousing a very high view of biblical womanhood, while at the same time making mockery of people like Doug Wilson, who holds biblical womanhood in very, very high esteem – all done in the tone and mannerism of a non-Christian teenage ghetto girl (“yo, yo, high status bois ofc. If yo status ain’t high, we ain’t checkin for him.” – what?)

    So, that was my initial impression. I thought, at first, that you were one of those sorts of people whose entire theology revolved around some one particular thing (in this case, tattoos), and everything somehow becomes a support for, or a crusade against that one thing. Scripture is used to support your personal opinions, instead of scripture *forming* your personal opinions. Kind of like Seventh Day Adventists have reduced their entire theology to “Church is on Saturday, or you’ve taken the mark of the beast and are going straight to hell on a greased pole.”

    It wasn’t until I found your own, actual blog that it got straightened out. The “tattoo” part was just that – a PART. The message doesn’t revolve around the evilness of tattoos. So…. Sigh of relief. 😉

    And I read your “viral post”, and I’d like to comment on one particular thing that you mentioned. Namely, about women (wives) learning from their husbands.

    To do this, I’m going to role play and speak from the perspective I am speaking TO, because the language will be more direct and less contorted:

    “It would be important for me to learn from my husband, and even form my opinions (and, to at least some extent, my theology) from my husband. Not because of any scriptural command to be submissive and obedient, or to learn from my husband – although that is there (1 Cor 14). But from a purely practical standpoint, I need to be conformed to the image of Christ, but also to the image of my husband if we are going to become more alike, and live together in peace, harmony, and unity.

    “I will need to think like him, act like him, and be supportive of him for no other reason than because I will have to live with him for years, and years, and years. For the rest of my life, in fact. This marriage is not what the world makes it. I can’t just walk away at any time, like the world says I can. In God’s design, marriage is permanent.

    “So, do I want that to be a peaceful life of love, joy and harmony? Or a tumultuous life of pain, loneliness and fear? It really, literally is a choice that I can choose.

    “And that will be very difficult to do if I am not of like mind with him. He – not I – is the image and glory of God, and I am called to be the image and glory of my husband. So long as what my husband thinks and believes is not sinful, or condemned by scripture, then I will do all that is in my power to conform myself to his view in order that we can walk together in unity.

    “And as I practice it, I find that it is not hard to do. I watch as he conforms his thoughts and views to scripture, and I simply follow his example. The result is, we are brought together – much more close to each other than anyone in the secular world could possibly imagine. Christian Unity is the earmark and identifying trait of true discipleship (John 13:5). Submission, of both husband and wife, is the identifying trait of a true marriage.” [/end role]

    Being submissive to a husband is a good thing, not merely from the biblical commandment wives have in regards to their husbands. But just simply on a purely practical and pragmatic viewpoint, it is going to be much easier, and much more peaceful, and as a consequence much more durable and successful to live with a person that you are of like mind with and are in unity with. For Christian wives, that means that one of the two parties has to submit to the other – and that means to be conformed to the image of the other. And in Biblical marriage, God has put that responsibility of submission on the wife, not the husband (he has plenty enough submission of his own to grapple with).

    The sum of it is simply this: If women would simply see that submission’s goal is not SUBJUGATION and CONTROL, but rather peace, harmony, and unity in the marriage, then they would see that the inevitable consequence of that is: deep and abiding LOVE and JOY!!! And that is what God is achieving through “submission”. Wife to husband, and husband to Christ, and Christ to The Father, and in that we all become ONE. (John 17:23)

    This will be difficult, if not impossible if there is no unity and like-mindedness between husband and wife. The Apostle Paul seems emphasize submission (of both husband and wife, just in different areas) as the best way to achieve this for the sake of unity. Unity is important in the marriage because the marriage is a model of the unity of the persons in the Trinity.

    Oh, by the way, I do not like tattoos, and will not myself get a tattoo for the simple reason that my body is not mine. I didn’t make it. I didn’t pay for it (“Ye are bought with a great price”). So it is not mine to take such liberties with. It belongs to the Lord who made it, and he gave it not to me, but to my wife. She is the only person on this earth who has “authority over my flesh” (1 Cor 7:4)

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