Some women didn’t like Debi Pearl’s book “Created to Be His Help Meet” because they claimed she gossiped. She told the story of a fat, ugly woman in her book. Her point was that men were still attracted to her because of her smile and joy. Was this gossip? I tell things about what I see other women do and then use them as an example of what we are to do or not to do. Is this gossip? I will call out female preachers and other women who claim to be Christians who are popular figures but are doing things that don’t align with Scripture. Is this gossip?

Here is the definition of gossip: “Gossip is idle talk or rumors about the personal or private affairs of others, often involving unkind or untrue information.”

Got Questions define it this way: “The Hebrew word translated ‘gossip’ in the Old Testament is defined as ‘one who reveals secrets, one who goes about as a talebearer or scandal-monger.’ A gossiper is a person who has privileged information about people and proceeds to reveal that information to those who have no business knowing it.

“1. Intent. Gossipers often have the goal of building themselves up by making others look bad and exalting themselves as some kind of repositories of knowledge.

“2. The type of information shared. Gossipers speak of the faults and failings of others, or reveal potentially embarrassing or shameful details regarding the lives of others without their knowledge or approval. Even if they mean no harm, it is still gossip.”

However, Scripture definitely tells us to judge, contrary to popular belief.

So, how do we know if we are gossiping or judging biblically? Taking the examples from what Debi wrote about and I share, neither of us has the goal of making others look bad since no one knew who these women were. We didn’t use their names. Jesus often used examples of others to teach an important point. We use examples in real life to teach women too. The only time I use real names is to call out false teachers, as God commands us to do in Romans 16:17, or if they are public figures who claim to be Christians but are doing something openly against Scripture. This is righteous judgment of those within the church.

Now, as women, we are prone to gossip: “And withal they learn to be idle, wandering about from house to house; and not only idle, but tattlers also and busybodies, speaking things which they ought not.” (1 Timothy 5:13) Whenever we share something about others, we must make sure we aren’t gossiping; we aren’t trying to put the one we are speaking about down and harming them in any way. Even when asking for prayer for someone, we must be careful not to do it in a way that spreads gossip about someone that this person doesn’t want others to know about.

I have written about women by name in politics and Hollywood who claim to be believers in Jesus Christ but post sexually provocative pictures of themselves in bikinis on social media. Why do I do this? Because young women need to know that this isn’t godly. It’s wrong. Christian women should not be doing this. They shouldn’t be posting on social media anything negative about their husbands either. They need to be called out. This is judging righteously.

If they aren’t public figures, I will write to them privately. I do want you to know that I have rarely done this, however. It’s not like I go around rebuking women in private often. Now, I did one time call out a famous personality that definitely had fillers injected into her lips. I deleted it quickly because I felt this could be gossip. But, I do want women to know they don’t need to do this, and it could be harmful down the road. I just don’t need to use a real example to teach this.

What if one of these Christian women who I called out about posing sexually on social media or speaking negatively about their husbands saw what I wrote about them? I wouldn’t care at all! They need to know that what they are doing is terribly wrong and blasphemes the Word of God since God commands we don’t do these things. It’s not my intention to harm them in any way but convict them of their sin.

Years ago, I knew a older women who was a leader in Bible Study Fellowship for years. One time, we were with them. I was walking down the road, and I heard her screaming at her husband over something insignificant. I use illustrations like this to teach women how ugly this is and encourage them not to do this. They eventually got divorced. It as a truly sad situation. She was a poor example of a godly wife to others.

I teach many women every day. I try hard to stay true to Scripture. My husband reads almost everything I write. It’s rare he ever says anything negative about it. I ask the Lord almost daily that the words of my mouth, the words that I write, and the meditations of my heart would be acceptable to Him. Am I perfect? Of course not. None of us are, but I do try to be diligent about obeying the Lord in everything. You may disagree with some of the things that I share, but women need to be taught how to become godly women. Using examples of ungodly women gives them good pictures in their minds of what not to be.

Let no corrupt communication proceed out of your mouth, but that which is good to the use of edifying, that it may minister grace unto the hearers.
Ephesians 4:29

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