Women are No Longer Marriage Material

Women are No Longer Marriage Material

Feminism (sin: wandering from God’s ways) has caused women to no longer be marriage material. Unfortunately, most men have been influenced by feminism and don’t even know they need a wife (“it is better to marry than to burn,” the Bible states, and most men burn), what to look for in a wife, or what they want with their lives. Men, if they were unaffected by feminism, would want to marry in order to have a wife who would help them throughout their lives and would willingly bear and raise children for them. They would want a help meet, a sexual partner, a homemaker who will cook, clean, and care for their home, and a family. Many women no longer want to be nor do these things.

Feminism has caused women to want to be equal with men. They want to have careers and be away from their homes. Many no longer want to bear nor raise their children so why should men want to marry since they can have their sexual needs fulfilled so easily by the many available women who are choosing not to save themselves for marriage?

Women are also the ones seeking divorce so this makes marriage even more undesirable for most men. I look around me and see few young people marrying and bearing children. Men don’t want to get married and then give half of what they own to a woman who will then divorce them, raise their children away from them, and may even remarry so another man raises their children. Way too many young Christian couples are divorcing after only being married a few years and it’s tragic.

“There is no denying that marriage is a very, very bad deal. When you get married you immediately give your wife all the power over your money and your children. ‘No-fault’ divorce really means ‘his-fault’ divorce. If your wife is to decide she wants a divorce she can have all the benefits of being married and none of the drawbacks. Divorce is theft from the man. It’s a redistribution of wealth from men to women. She can live off of your paycheck via alimony and child support and she can keep your children and raise them in a single-mother or step-daddy household.

“She has the complete and full support of Papa Government behind her. In the eyes of the law she can do no wrong and you can do no right. And there is nothing you can do about any of that. That’s why you have to choose the right wife in the first place to eliminate much of that risk.” (written by Victor Pride. I am not linking to the article because I don’t agree with all of it – like men waiting until 30 years old to marry – and some of the language isn’t appropriate. I also don’t know what else he believes or supports, but the article has some good points such as this quote concerning divorce.)

Even Christian women are choosing to divorce instead of being married “until death do they part.” They aren’t considering the long-term impact that divorce will have upon their children. God’s ways are good and He commands we be married to one person for a lifetime. Too many women go into marriage thinking that divorce will be an option if they want out.

God’s ways make women beautiful marriage material. God encourages younger women to marry, bear children, and guide the home with a meek and quiet spirit. I love watching the Duggar children marry and bear children on their TV show “Counting On.” Most of them are marrying young and having children as soon as the Lord blesses them. They count children as a gift.

The young women don’t go away to college and then have careers. They find productive work in and around their home. Once they are married, they are all full-time homemakers while their husbands provide for the families. The women have meek and quiet spirits and they are joyful because they know who they are in Christ and follow Him. They respect their husbands. They are obeying God’s plan for their lives and it’s a blessing to watch since it’s so rare these days.

No, I don’t teach men but I would like to ask them a question: Would you prefer to marry a career woman who had little time for you, your children, or your home because she was so busy with her career or would you prefer to marry a woman with a meek and quiet spirit (not argumentative, contentious, or quarreling) who loved to take care of you, your children (which includes the willingness to have children), and your home where you would come home at night to a clean and tidy home with a homemade meal? I believe most men would far prefer a woman who followed the Lord’s plans for her since most men want a peaceful home and share it with the wife of their youth but they have been made to believe lies due to feminism.

“Maximize wife’s happiness with her wifely and motherly duties (the complete opposite of everything you will see, read or hear). It’s not about empowerment (or any other buzzword designed to kill the traditional family), she should be completely devoted to her family. True happiness for a woman comes from her family, it does not come from her career, or her ‘independence’, or her sexually liberated point of view.” (Victor Pride)

Who can find a virtuous woman? for her price is far above rubies.
Proverbs 31:10

49 thoughts on “Women are No Longer Marriage Material

  1. Traditional marriage is devalued so much in our current society of entitlement and instant gratification! This generation of children are playing the price, and are brainwashed into thinking the divorce hook-up culture is the way to go, and normal for a healthy family! Radical feminists teach their daughters to resent men and marriage, and children which adds to the issue!

    1. It’s a very sad state of affairs and sadly, the churches aren’t doing a good job of teaching women the ways of biblical womanhood so even young Christian women are going the ways of the world. Keep speaking truth!

      1. You too! Thanks so much for replying, and don’t let the critics silence your voice! I’ve had my fair share of harsh criticism, and vitriol, but it won’t stop me, so don’t let it stop you! I’m not in complete lockstep with everything you have to say, but we have much common ground and I stand by your right to speak your opinion <3

  2. Nowadays, I get the impression that men want the polar opposite to the duggar girls. They want loud brashful confident women who are ‘sexy’. They want the lady to work so that they have someone who understands what they go though day by day in the workplace and besides if you live in especially an expensive city like London, you need two incomes. They want her to move in with them after 6 months dating (no marriage yet). And then if things are fine maybe four years down the line, they will wed. No children of course so she goes on the pill.

    And if they have children, it is nursery and school. And then we can spend more time on our careers and you don’t need to be a cook darling because we have prepacked meal.

    At my former church, there were so many quiet single women who was doing God’s work. Counselling people whilst holding down full time jobs and yet they took so long to find someone. Nobody seems interested.

    So the question is, do men want the proverbs 31 woman because they are showing by their actions that they don’t.

    1. I believe women need to begin becoming godly women and then the men will want them. Eve was the first one to fall and then Adam fell. The Bible tells us that a wise woman builds up her home and a foolish one tears it down with her own hands. Women have a LOT of influence upon men. If they can tear down homes, they can tear down nations. But there will always be a remnant who loves the Lord and His ways!

    2. First, let me just say I have gfs who were ‘passed around’ in London only to get married within months of leaving the city.

      Geographic location is very important, stay away from Financial Centers like London, New York and L.A. Good men don’t live there and spend their time figuring out how not to live there.

      I also truly believe that if he doesn’t want to marry you within 2 years (and he will talk about marriage within the first 90 days) he doesn’t really love you.

      My husband has several exes that he lived/dated with for YEARS. The one he was with the longest already had a kid, and went on to have another kid by another man unusually fast…

      None of those women, even his teenage gf, are married or have ever been married.

      When I met my husband his whole family laughed at me when I said ‘When we get married’ and even more terrible things…and yet we got married in 1 year 6 months after talking online.

      So…just don’t be that girl.

      DON’T BE THAT GIRL.

      I got married late, but now I realize that when you are in your early 20s you have all the power. I was just so shy in my 20s that I didn’t realize how easy it was.

      Just don’t be that girl.

      The Sex and the City Authors were right…if he loves you he will love you.

      1. Can I just clarify that by Sex and the City Authors, they wrote a book saying that if he wants to marry you there is nothing that will stop him.

        That’s good for girls to know because then when a man delays marrying you…or worse…never even brings it up as an option, you can be like ‘Oh I don’t have to put up with this!’

        People will always take free stuff when it’s offered, just because he takes it doesn’t mean he cares.

        My husband’s brother is moving in with his girlfriend of 2 years…and was bumbling about how ‘This was a big step for him’

        and I was like ‘Oh if I was his gf he would have been dumped just for that one sentence!’

        He’s just such a loser….I can’t figure out whether the guy has mental issues (aka non-masculine/mental weakness) or doesn’t love her

        I go more for the doesn’t love her thing, as when they were first dating (first 90 days) there was another girl that he was ‘deciding between.’

        Ladies, you don’t have to put up with this.

        90 days the men know the truth of where the relationship is heading. The rest of the courtship period is just making sure there are no skeletons in the closet.

        1. A rather late post here (from me) but nonetheless.

          I believe I have read what you Christine in a book about the 90 days thing.

          The shack up culture is big in London. I have never been a part of it myself but most people around me do this.

          I don’t know why people sign up for this at all. I mean they say within seconds that they want to marry the person yet spend four years with them before marrying them and babies.

          The longest and n my family is around 12 years. I do not know how their marriage is after spending 12 years just dating.

          I guess they do so to save on the rent but it is not God’s will for you to spend your time in someone who does not want to marry you but they want to sleep with you and say they love you.

          People are happy to sign contracts for cars and houses but with their so called love of their life? No

          It is like that girl at school who was always really friendly to you but did not want to work on schoolwork with you or wanted you eating with her.

          Yes, l think London is not the place for good marital prospects. To be honest, I think it is easier in the US. as some churches still preach what Lori is preaching unlike 0.9 percent of the churches here.

    3. >At my former church, there were so many quiet single women who was doing God’s work. Counselling people whilst holding down full time jobs and yet they took so long to find someone. Nobody seems interested.

      I wish you well, but it is obvious you are choosing to not see something.
      Suppose a man chose to be detestable (NIV) or an abomination (KJV) by wearning a dress to church service. How often would he have to do this, for a church woman to feel unattracted to him? But Deut 22:5 goes both ways; how often did these women show up in clothing that could pass for men’s clothing?

      Suppose a man chooses to be disgraceful by having long hair, while in church service. Would the church-going women still feel attraction to him? But 1 Cor 11:1-16 goes both ways. A woman who cuts her hair is not only choosing to be disgraceful, but is also cutting off what this passage of the Bible says is “her glory”. Who cuts off what is their “glory”, and expects no difference in their ability to be attractive?

      1 Cor 11:1-16 also talks about women wearing a head covering; some may say this applies only to when in church service.

      Titus 2:1-6 talk about being self-controlled. Who can become overweight while being self-controlled?

      So, if we ignore those who are not trying, that is, we ignore those women who cut their hair, or wear clothing that is similar to a man’s, or refuse to cover their heads in service, or are visibly overweight, who do we have left? In my North American churches… no one.
      But not all is bad. I am grateful for God’s commands; they help me understand what I should expect from myself, and from any woman who wants to be my wife. As a result of refusing to take an unacceptable woman into my home (see the challenge in Joshua 24:14-15), I was free to go to another country and marry an obedient woman from there. Thanks be to God for his Good Word.

      1. Dale

        I want to share something with you.

        My former church was a pentecostal charismatic one and therefore there were very relaxed rules on women wearing trousers (or pants as you may call them). Also women could wear their hair cut short. However the very godly women that I mentioned, were the most part assistants or like ‘deacons’ and they wore a uniform that was feminine in that it consists of a knee length skirt and a neck tie with tights or pantyhose to use US english.

        They were required to be very groomed and they had their hair long or shoulder length with make up on.

        On their off day, they still kept up their groomed look and most wore trousers but other than that they did dress feminine. I know someone did challenged my church on the trouser wearing allowance for females only for the church to say that women trousers are designed for women only. It is old testament and we dont need to follow these rules. furthermore, one pastor said one time, that they would even allow a man inside the church with a dress on because he will get the opportunity to hear the teaching and change his mind and get saved.

        Regarding head covering- never discussed in the church at all. Many people consider the headcovering to be hair for women. I have never studied the scripture long enough to come to a conclusion and I have never really bothered to. I use to however wear a head scarf for practicality and to keep my braided hair neat and was rebuked by others at my church for it. I was accused of looking like an old woman ( I am 42)and people more or less looked down on it. Therefore I doubt if my church would have preached on this.

        Regarding marrying an obedient woman, that goes both ways. A man should also be obedient to God. He should take care of himself and not be an overweight slob. He should not expect his wife to be six 6 and dye her grey hair and he is like that. that is hyprocrisy.

        And I understand God’s command to submit to your husband but if he is like Nabal, can I actually submit to him? if he is making foolish decisions, It would be hard for me to submit to him.

        I want someone who is willing to work and provide for his household without me working full time and me having to go back to work if we do have children or I get sick. I am willing to do my share and work part time from home but I want someone with a strong work ethic.

        Unfortunately, most men I have come across do not have that ambition to support any woman at home. After all, it is too expensive for them.

        As for me, I am trying to find ways to obey God’s word in terms of dressing more feminine. But finding the right clothes is a challenge . My hair is quite short at the moment.

        However i did not cut it short like that. I have suffered from stress for a long time and this has prevented my hair from growing instead it cuts off.
        All I am saying is that there are women out there trying to follow Gods commands for them personally, however especially in the UK, it is really a struggle. Lots of us come with baggage due to bad theology and preaching. Nevertheless I will continue to perservere.

  3. Well done again, Lori.

    I have previously posted on your forum how women quickly age out of fertility, become unable to bond to a husband with just a very few sexual partners, unilaterally essentially end sexual relations with husbands once the last child is conceived in over a quarter of marriages now, are the ones to initiate divorce (usually just out of boredom) in 3/4 or more of divorces, and are 10-30% likely to bear another man’s baby unbeknownst to their husband, etc.

    What I want to specifically note here is that a woman who waits til their 30s to consider marriage (focusing on feminist careerism and/or the hookup sex carousel) forget several other things, crucial things.

    First is, why would a man who has the financial success and attractiveness levels they want marry her? He has money already, and doesn’t need hers. She can’t give him children (and wouldn’t likely want to raise them anyway). She either or both has major debts (credit card or student loan) or would spend all her energy working, with no nurturing/helpmeet inclination in her. He got used to not being emotionally and otherwise supported when younger, less successful, and less mature. He got accustomed to doing without her in his life, and she has very little she could now add to it.

    So, that rare* top Alpha man that all the near-menopausal career harridans want, he’s not going to marry them.

    *There is a rule that ambitious-via-gold-digging-marriage young women use in major cities now, the 6-6-6 rule. That is, if he’s not 6′ tall, making 6 figures, with a six-pack stomach (means body like a champion Mixed Martial Arts fighter), and single (not divorced) and childless, deep-six him. I did the math using U.S. Census figures, and there’s likely under FIFTY unattached men like that in New York City at any time. Those guys are going to marry (if they even do marry) under-26s like the ones you described. No “Christmas Cake” women are in their marital future. (That comes from slang in Japan about single post-Wall women, based on “no one buys Christmas cakes after the 25th”.)

          1. Its actually worse than that, its almost 90% of separations\divorces initiated by women.

            Turns out if you visit divorce court, men will be given the bill for the divorce and who pays is qualified as the one who files, so the stats are fudged downwards.

            You will find from your own cohort of family\friends\churches that if you take a straw pole only around 10% of separations or divorces are initiated by men.

            Its the big secret of the divorce industry. Ask any lawyers, they will tell you.

  4. Perhaps whar most men would say is that they would love a meek and quiet woman who helps them, raise the children, take care of the home, has a good meal on the table when he comes home and spend time with him in the evening… and has a good pay check? Maybe it is not so much the career they love but the money that comes with it.

    1. Yes, sadly, you’re correct, Johanne, but women can’t do it all. It’s a myth that feminism has perpetuated on women and now men expect what feminism has taught. There is no monetary worth on a wife who cares for her husband, children, and home; for her worth is far above rubies.

  5. Lori you would be shocked at how many men do not want a stay at home wife. My mother stayed at home and although I went to college (a gift from my parents, I have no debt) I plan to stop working after I have my first child, and my husband supports this. However in college some of my male friends were appalled. They said their wife would work and that they would expect nothing less. Their desire was driven by materialism — they want the giant house, luxury vacations, etc they a double income would afford. I hope that these friends of mine just haven’t met the right lady yet — maybe when they meet someone who they want to have children with they will understand the value of having her raise their children herself. But my point is, many women who are “marriage material” according to your view would actually have trouble finding a man who wants that due to our changing culture.

    1. I understand this, Kate, and it’s very sad. Yes, men need to be taught what makes a good wife and it’s not one who has a career and brings in a paycheck. I believe if more Christian women begin living and acting like God has called them to live and act, Christian men would see the difference between feminism and femininity and choose feminine women every time.

    2. It is a great privilege to comment on this blog.

      Kate writes:

      Lori you would be shocked at how many men do not want a stay at home wife. My mother stayed at home and although I went to college (a gift from my parents, I have no debt) I plan to stop working after I have my first child, and my husband supports this. However in college some of my male friends were appalled. They said their wife would work and that they would expect nothing less.

      I have a bit of insight into this phenomenon, because I’m faculty at a big public university, and I can attest to the truth of exactly what you’re describing.

      What I think many people miss is the underlying motivation for a young man wanting his wife to work. In most cases, I’ve found that this is due to the social engineering of the divorce-related legislation, passed in the last couple of generations.

      A young man intuits that when (and it’s when, not if) his wife divorces him, she will cripple him financially if she is a stay-at-home mother. Her status will entitle her to lifetime alimony and often most of his pension, also. That same young man sees a working wife as less expensive, overall. He intuits this through the experiences of his father, his uncles, and the male relatives of his friends.

      So, while a stay-at-home wife would be a much better mother to his children, the striver wife will at least allow for a normal adulthood and retirement. He is voting with his feet, as his survival depends upon it.

      I hope this has been helpful,

      Boxer

  6. We are raising our sweet children to value marriage. My daughter proudly says she wants to be a mommy when she grows up and asks for some of her homeschool day to be taught how. She is very excited for her “career”. My son also values marriage but he is such a little guy right now. You better believe we are instilling in him what kind of woman to choose and who to stay far away from. The women who value careers first and spout off about their rights to defile themselves, put themselves into debt, have awful haircuts, immodest clothes and get tatted up we will tell him to run like Joseph in Potifer’s home!

    1. Thankfully, there will always be a remnant who are wholly devoted to the Lord and His ways, M. I am sure you are praying for their future spouses right now! Your children are blessed to have you as their mother.

  7. I disagree with the statement: “Feminism has caused women to want to be equal with men.” We women ARE the equal of men…but we are different, and we lessen ourselves when we try to be the SAME as men. This is the actual mistake of feminism. Feminism sounds like it should celebrate the feminine, but it actually hates it and subverts it by to turning women into a poor imitation of men. The misnomer of “Feminism” is a little like “The Ministry of Truth” from the book 1984: “The Ministry of Truth” has NOTHING to do with upholding truth; and the movement called “feminism” has NOTHING to do with upholding “femininity”. When we embrace our God-given femininity wholeheartedly, we can offer so much more to our families and society, than if we were simply poor copies of men. Joy is in obedience to our Creator, and found in the difference between manly men and womanly women! I do wish there could be some way to point this out to the poor misguided “feminists”! They are creating only misery.

    1. Feminism fights for “equality” with men. This is their entire agenda. Yes, we are equal in value and worth but we are not equal in strength, in roles, in testosterone, in muscle mass, etc. God made male and female differently for a purpose, a very good purpose, yet feminists want to fight against this. But I understand and agree with everything you have written, Kathryn! Thank you.

    2. No. Your doctrine is anti-Scriptural and anti-Christian.

      In 1 Peter 3 wives are told twice to ‘be in subjection’ to their husbands. Persons who are equal, or who God considers equal, are not ‘in subjection’ one to the other. ‘In subjection’ presupposes, instead, inequality between the sexes, just as they were created by God.

      Likewise, Genesis recounts that the creation of the male and female again was not equal. God ‘breathed’ His pneuma or breath into the male, a thing He did not do with the female, because she was not intended to be masculine. The female was created from the male.

      Equality and egalitarianism is the very bedrock of modern feminism, and it’s the guiding law and principle of America, to America’s great shame and doom. It is a primary doctrine of satan and one of his most successful lies. Seeing as how so many women and weak men love it so.

    3. Feminism is a supremacist ideology.
      the family courts are rigged in favor of women, and yet the Feminists do not want to correct that inequality, they instead push for even more female favoring.

      The Bible teaches that husbands and wives are joint heirs of God’s grace 1 Peter 3:7, and share ownership of each other’s sexuality 1 Corinthians 7:4. However here on earth our creation, our bodies, and our roles are unequal. Men were created first in the image of God. Women were created for men to help them, and as such have been given a role of subjection to their husbands, as unto the Lord. Feminism is in direct conflict with God’s word on all of that.

      1 Corinthians 11:7 For a man ought not to cover his head, since he is the image and glory of God, but woman is the glory of man. 8 For man was not made from woman, but woman from man. 9 Neither was man created for woman, but woman for man.

      However, if a woman submits and serves her Lord well, she might outrank him in the kingdom of heaven.

      Luke 13:33 And behold, some are last who will be first, and some are first who will be last.

      However, if a woman is a Feminist and refuses to be subject to her husband in everything, as God’s word commands her to be, I would doubt she qualifies as a follower of God at all.

      John 14:15 If you love me, you will keep my commandments.

    4. A woman’s highest possible standing on earth is to be “one flesh” with a man created in God’s image. There is no higher possible role she can attain to than that. And the more she submits to her husband, the greater the amount of unity betwixt them, and the stronger their bond.

  8. As one who made a really bad first-choice in choosing a wife, I really identify with Victor Pride’s comments. Even 5 years later, the sting is fresh and new in so many ways.

    Fortunately, the LORD has blessed me with a true, Biblical wife to walk along with me through all of this.

  9. As a man I will comment. I would want my wife, my daughter, and my daughter in laws to be a proper mix of the two extremes. Not to be a door mat, to use the brains and talent God has given her, but also be the best helpmate that her husband could ever have, by being at home, teaching the children, and being a strong supportive partner in all of the family business.

    I have noticed starting with my generation (Gen X) where we as a society (secular and Christian) that all people earn their keep. Taking care of the house and the children are not earning their keep unless there is money exchanged. We look at all work being worth a set amount of money. Hence the whole discussion of equal pay and trying to equalize tasks or jobs.

    I know of many fellow parents who want their sons to marry a woman who will bring in a good income and not worry about the cleaning, cooking, and rearing of children. Those things can be hired out. Because of the high cost of owning a home – cost of the home and the taxes, the amount of payroll taxes, the amount of payroll going to health insurance, and other costs, these parents will look down on a daughter as lazy for not wanting to earn money and get a good career. This teaching as bled over to the training of young men who expect to see their potential wives to have a career or consider her as lazy. Then as time goes on the couples’ are disappointed with their lives and stressed out more and more about life. They start to blame each other and this brings in more strife and potentially lead to divorce. When people do not follow the proper rolls as God intended and do not do what God has called us to do using the gifts He has given us, then we see more stress and more anger in our lives. This is taken out on our spouses, our children, our families, and our neighbors in that order.

  10. Has it been discussed how many men these days do not want children? When I was a young newlywed almost all of the husbands I knew did not want children at all due to the expense. I live in Los Angeles so everything is expensive. (My husband and I have not yet been blessed with children.) In my experience it is the men, just as often as the women, who are hesitant.

    1. This is why I find it confusing that women are called “the weaker vessel” when in point of fact they have such power.

  11. Just a comment that I have just a bit of skepticism when I read “Christian young women can’t find any Christian young men interested in marriage.”

    My middle son is a fit, employed, 26 year old Christian. Active Army reserve. Steady church attendance, involved in ministry. Would very much like to get married but can’t seem to connect. He’s a bit shy and short of self-confidence so he’s not very showy.

    Sadly it seems that even for Christian young women, the qualities they are attracted to in a man are not the qualities that make a man a good husband.

    1. Nick,
      I have a 24 year old virgin daughter with no debt and no tattoos who wants nothing more than to be a stay at home wife and mother who is looking for a good Christina husband! 🙂 Old fashioned courtship required. Contact me at TreyMagnus@gmail.com if you are interested.

  12. I married at 31 and my husband was 34. We both wanted a traditional spouse and it took us that long to find each other in Los Angeles!!! I always wanted to marry, have a houseful of kids, etc. But, I can honestly say that I wasn’t at all ready to marry until 25. I felt myself change and mature. I know that any marriage prior to my 25th would’ve been doomed. I was a bridesmaid 11 times by then and only one of those couples is still married. Those of us that got married near 30 are mostly traditional, 3-4 kids, most of them homeschooled, and very happy. I guess we that grew up in L.A. bloomed much later!! I had a miscarriage and no children, but I was the only one in my group of late marry-ers. While I will always miss having children, I’m glad that I didn’t jump into a marriage I wasn’t ready for.

    I don’t know what that all means except that one shouldn’t give up. My wait was well worth it.

  13. This article is so true, Lori.

    As a 38 year old man, my life shows how true this is.

    I simply can’t even find a woman who loves God, wants to marry, and doesn’t believe in birth control.

    I’m so disgusted. The very beauty God gave a woman to attract a husband to her, is now a deadly trap. As a man, I’ve learned that a woman’s alluring beauty and seductive dress is quite dangerous.

    It makes my heart terribly sad, when I’m walking on the street, and I’m a handsome man, and I see a beautiful, young single woman. I have taught myself not to be interested anymore. Though my heart thrills at the sight and I want to pursue for marriage, after hundreds of experiences with women who know practically nothing of the Bible, and understand little to nothing of Gods role for a woman in marriage and in raising children, I’ve learned to spare myself the pain. I recently overcame a porn habit, and I was even into prostitution. At 33, I got tired of waiting, and grew impatient. I lost my virginity to a prostitute at 33, and it still makes me feel horrible. After dozens of those encounters, with my conscience killing me all the way, I finally was chastised by God, and lost everything. I justified myself by saying ‘God, I tried to do it your way, I would have loved to marry and have a lot of children, but I can’t find any woman who is willing to have children. They look upon having children as a burden, and I can’t bring a child into the world who will be viewed as a burden’.

    I try to be content as a single man, but it’s hard. I know the verse, ‘Delight thyself in the Lord, and he will give you the desires of your heart’.

    In the end, Gods way is perfect, and having faith and obeying him will never fail to bring good results. In the meantime, it’s very frustrating to see thousands of beautiful women, who would make wonderful wives and mothers, nearly useless, and unworthy of being pursued, because they stubbornly insist that a career and an education is more important than being a wife and a mother. What makes me so sad, is in 1940, this nonsense thinking was practically unheard of. I know there are many selfish men who don’t want children either. I’m definitely not one of them,

    1. You forget that in the 1940s there was a war that pressed men into service. Without their husbands or fathers around women HAD to work to support their families. They had no other choice! So let’s be careful taking about “the good old days.” History is complicated.

      1. Pearl Harbor was December 7th, 1941, though to be honest, Japan did bomb the woman out of the home, and she hasn’t been back since.

        It’s understandable that women had to leave the home when the war was on, but World War 2 ended 73 years ago.

        I understand the liberal media and schools indoctrinate women into feminism, but what source are women going to take seriously, The Bible or society?

        I come from a family where my parents had nearly twenty children. It was very happy being raised like this, though we were poor. Now, having made well over six figures, it’s like, ‘what’s the point’? The worst men, who have the most experience defiling women, are the most desirable in our societies standards. It’s pathetic. It stands to reason that the man who has practiced the art of seducing a woman will be more at ease around women, so where does that leave the man who desires to please God alone?

      2. History is not complicate Holly. Eve embraced the words of Satan and joined forces with him against the Word of God and against the rule of the man. That is not complicated, simply not accepted. And if the church is going to continue to blow this off we will continue to get what we have been getting.

        I am not aware of one scripture that warns women to watch out for men [there are many scriptures that warn all –men and women—to watch out for unscrupulous men]. But there are many scriptures warning men to watch out for women, starting with Genesis 3:17 “Because thou hast hearkened unto the voice of thy wife…”

        And are you saying that Valjean should hearken to your voice?

        1. You are both reading a lot into my comment. All I wanted to say is that the 1940s weren’t the family utopia that some think it was. The “good old days” are almost never as perfect as they are remembered.

          1. I’m convinced they absolutely were, Holly. Less than 2% of American men viewed porn in 1940. Marriages were far more stable.

  14. We have created a totally false way of life giving women the place of men and expecting men to ‘man-up.’ CS Lewis said it well: “We make men without chests and expect of them virtue and enterprise. We laugh at honour and are shocked to find traitors in our midst. We castrate and bid the gelding fruitful.”

    This is the Theatre of the Absurd. Male today, female tomorrow? Choose your restroom? Girls demanding to join Boy Scouts when there are already Girls Scouts? This is more about destruction of the man and our masculine God, than so-called equality. These are all very logical conclusions of the world and church we live in that has stripped the Sanctity of Command of the man and placed it in the woman as Illicit Authority. Continue to make light of this and more absurdity is then to come.

    We live in a country that has pushed the age of marriage for men from age 22 in 1960 to age 29.5 in 2017, and for women from age 20 to 27.5. Now think further that this is roughly 16 years past puberty for both men and women. This is about 40-50% of the way through her child bearing years. The curve for both still remains steep, suggesting that there is no end in sight to pushing marriage further off. What are we saying to our children about marriage? Certainly that it is not important and not fundamental to life, more like just one of many opportunities they can choose from. No, the church is not substantially separated from this; what it endorses, if not teaches, is effectively largely the same as the world.

    And if it does not prioritize marriage on earth, then it in turn does not prioritize the marriage of the church to Christ.

    1. The modern church is definitely complicit in this. When Christian parents tell their young adult children to delay marriage for college and careers, do the parents really not understand they are encouraging fornication and adultery? The Word of God is quite clear–you spiritually marry those you have sex with. Serial monogamy is adultery. One would have to be very naive to believe someone is going to spend a decade or more of their sexual maturity–post puberty–waiting for the one, especially when all secular powers glorify the hook up culture. No. We believers should encourage our children to live good, godly lives, and that most certainly includes marriage when one is sexually mature and no longer willing to be celibate. It is far better to marry than to burn in sin.

  15. I’m glad to see you saying this. Men have been blamed for all our woes for as long as I can remember, while women have been treated as innocent bystanders. While I don’t give men a pass, because like women we’re sinners too, to attempt to reform ourselves in the Church into Biblical men and women, we’ll need to have a smidgen of an understanding of just how we have become deformed.

  16. Not weak in the sense that they lack power, but that they seldom use that power wisely. Young women are “powerful” in the same way a spendthift who just inherited a million bucks is “rich”.

  17. I believe that women can have careers outside the home, but that such careers should be started after the couple has and raises children. Women should make the most of their most fertile years, even if it means living relatively poor compared to a 2-income house. There’s time as the kids become more independent for her to train and gain a career if she wants. Consider Margaret Thatcher, who raised her children before she entered politics.

  18. Hello I just found this site.

    I’m 57 and married 24 years to the mother of my children. I had many women want to marry me who were career women. I ignored them all because I wanted a mother not a worker. Finally I met my wife and my heart beat like a drum in my chest, and I knew she was the woman that God chose for me. We are blessed with 2 amazing children who she raised all the way.

    My friends say “how did you raise such lovely children”. I don’t have the heart to point out how easy it was — “Don’t marry a career woman” when most of my friends are career women with stunted families.

    Even the physical act of birthing is ruined by careers…working women always work too long during their pregnancies and then are tired and stressed, causing difficulty delivering healthy children. Even one mistake in delivery can cause a life of misery. My wife was carefree and full of joy during her pregnancies, protected by my constant vigilance so she could relax, cook, visit her female relatives, and garden. When the time came the births were hard but safe.

    Career women are a sad ruination of what could be such joy.

  19. I couldn’t agree more with this. I have recently had many of the same thoughts. Young men are not looking for wives. They don’t want someone to cook, clean, bare children and be a Godly homemaker. They are not being taught that this is what you are to look for in a Christian girl. The Bible says when a man finds a wife that he finds a good thing….look at the beginning of this verse. A MAN finding a wife. The young men need to be men in order to find a wife. Not someone who is always slothful, playing video games ….not putting away childish things. Young men need to taught to be providers for the home. While young women need to be taught their place to care for the home. It is God’s plan. I agree with The Bible way….Thank you so much for posting something that is rarely talked about in church anymore.

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