Women Don’t Want to Stay at Home

Women Don’t Want to Stay at Home

God commands that older women teach young women to be keepers at home so they don’t blaspheme the word of God (Titus 2:3-5). Many women don’t like to be told to be keepers AT home. They want to be able to work outside of the home. They are “bored” at home. They don’t want to serve their families. They would rather serve others. God knew this and this is why He commands older women to teach them to be keepers AT home.

The commentaries of old had some interesting things to say about the phrase “keepers at home.” Here are a few of them:

“Home duties, cares, pleasures, sacrifices of self—these God-appointed duties ought to fill the mind and the heart of the young wife.” (Ellicot’s Commentary)

“Keepers at home—as ‘guardians of the house,’ as the Greek expresses. Active in household duties (Proverbs 7:11; 1 Timothy 5:13).” (Jamieson-Fausset-Brown Commmentary)

“House-wives, not spending their time in gadding abroad, but in looking to the affairs of their own families.” (Matthew Poole’s Commentary)

“Keepers at home: minding their own family affairs, not gadding abroad; and inspecting into, and busying themselves about other people’s matters. This is said in opposition to what women are prone unto.” (Gill’s Exposition)

“And ye taught them to be grave workers at home, keeping to the due limits of subjection, wholly pure minded.” (Cambridge Bible)

“Stayers at home.” (Pulpit Commentary)

From the following verses, we find that young women don’t want to be home. They want to wander away from home. In these days, they want to go shopping often, travel, have jobs away from home, or do anything they can so they don’t have to be home full time with their children caring for them and their homes. They would rather buy fast food, hire cleaning ladies, have laundromats do their laundry, etc. Anything to get away from their household duties.

“And withal they learn to be idle, wandering about from house to house; and not only idle, but tattlers also and busybodies, speaking things which they ought not. I will therefore that the younger women marry, bear children, guide the house, give none occasion to the adversary to speak reproachfully” (1 Timothy 5:13, 14). And even in a verse about harlots, we are told one of her attributes is that “her feet abide not in her home” (Proverbs 7:11).

God’s will for young women is to be keepers at home. This is in direct contrast to what they are modeled growing up and taught in the schools, churches, and homes. This is why they are so offended when they learn that this is God’s will.

Jesus said these things while on earth: “He that hath my commandments and keepeth them, he it is that loveth me” (John 14:21) and “If a man love me, he will keep my words” (John 14:23). The same words that the Apostle Paul wrote about women being keepers at home and guiding the home are the same as what God commands of women since the Holy Spirit spoke through Paul.

Honest young women will admit that it is tempting to not be home full time. They want to “gad about” instead. There’s a lot of work to be done in the home: caring for husbands, children, and homemaking. Being content is something that must be learned. When you understand that this is God’s will for you, you will learn contentment and even find joy in serving your family and others. You will actually be happier and full of joy when you change your mindset and attitude and obey God. His will and ways are perfect!

Some women feel they have to be in the workforce because they are single mothers by their own choosing or from no fault of their own, or their husbands simply don’t make enough money. For the single mothers, pray. Ask the Lord to make a way for you to be home with your children where He wants you to be. He does immeasurably more than you can ask or think. Trust Him.

For those whose husbands don’t make “enough money,” read and study Laine’s Letters. Her husband has never made over $30,000 per year but through trust in God Almighty, prayer, and wisdom, she has been a full-time keeper at home for many, many years.

He maketh the barren woman to keep house, and to be a joyful mother of children. Praise ye the LORD.
Psalm 113:9

24 thoughts on “Women Don’t Want to Stay at Home

  1. Women cant b house wives not because of money, which we live in the richest country in history, but because of the feminist dream. Every working woman wants her income to b 100% spending money. This is about 9-10 of what ive seen. I know men who lost income at work and asked their wives to pay half the house payment women who made 70 a year. They said if thats what they had to do they were getting a divorce.

    There are less and less men willing to tolerate this. It sucks to make the same $ as your spouse but pay all or nearly all of the bills while she blows her income on nobody knows what. Thats the marriage i was in and many men i know.

    Also the white collar work place may b the last place you want your wife at. The amount of envy and competing with the other women buying expensive junk new homes and vacations is too much. The average or above average man cannot compete with the few women who land husbands with tons of expendible income your never going to fill the void.

  2. When I was working full-time, my marriage was falling apart and the house was always a mess. Our daughter stayed with my mom while we worked, and I was so bitter about everything. I was raised by a SAHM, and I really wanted to give that to my baby daughter, so I started praying about it. I couldn’t just quit because we needed the money, and my husband wanted me to help pay the bills. He eventually had a change of heart, and allowed for me to quit my job to come home fulltime. He, however, was super stressed about finding a second job, so I continued to pray because I did NOT want to go back into the workforce. About a week later, his job gave him a completely random, yet huge promotion. He now makes more than enough for us, and managed to be one of the few his company kept on the payroll during the pandemic. We now have two kids, and yes there are days that being home is rough, but it made life so much less stressful for everyone. The house is always tidy, every meal is homemade, and the kids are on a good schedule, and I get to homeschool. Now I pray about EVERYTHING. If it is in God’s will, he will find ways to lead you there.

  3. Idly wandering from house to house, I’ve found, can also be done via social media. In the past, I’ve wasted so much time looking at other people’s lives and following a rabbit trail that lead me away from the duties at home that I needed to do, but simply didn’t want to do. I was being lazy, neglectful, and disobedient.

    So, physically we can gad about and leave our homes empty and alone during the day. Or in this technological age, we can also do it virtually.

    May we go against the grain of culture and learn to put the phone down.
    We’ve got very important work to do! 🙂

  4. What happened to Proverbs 31 woman? Explain that?!
    16 She considers a field and buys it; out of her earnings she plants a vineyard.
    She sets about her work vigorously; her arms are strong for her tasks.
    She sees that her trading is profitable, and her lamp does not go out at night.

    You CANNOT pick and choose what God’s word says.

  5. Dear Lori i just want to thank you for the transformed wife. I’m 24 years old & married for a little over a year. I want to pursue God’s will when it comes to wife & motherhood & i have wrestled with Titus 2 but your posts and what you have written show me the way & encourage me greatly. Please don’t stop writing and doing what God has called you to do.

  6. Lori,

    I mentioned this same topic in Sunday School and the older women (65+) all said “amen!”

  7. My name is Priscilla I’m a stay at home mom for 5yrs now. I remember when I had my second child, I prayed to God to allow me to be a SAHM. I didn’t know how but I trusted that God would do it. When my daughter was 6months my husband got new job in another state. I looked for jobs couldn’t find one daycare was the price of my income for two kids. So we stepped out on faith and trusted the Lord. He has provided more then we can imagine. Thanks again Lori for your blog God way is the best way

  8. I love to be home. It was something I longed for and when God finally made that miracle happen, I felt so happy! :0)

    I prayed and prayed and now, I can really appreciate the blessing that is being home and taking care of my husband’s needs and keeping my house clean and cozy.
    Of course I can’t talk for everyone, but sometimes we think we can’t stop working and come home. My husband thought so, but we did the math and saw that if we cut some superfluous expenses, I could come home.

    Other times, like you said, some women are single mothers because unfortunatelly they lost their husbands or their husbands are sick or temporarily unemployed and they are forced to work outside of the home. For those, I pray so that God can bless them.

    About Laine’s Letters (wich I love), I remember reading in her older letters, when her kids were younger, that she had a budget of 3$ for each birthday present and they still loved her presents!

    Nowadays, the TV is full of commercials that make us feel that if we don’t give an expensive gift, we will be make fun of or excluded, but that’s a lie. Love isn’t expressed by the value of our gifts, but buy the care we pour on others.

  9. I work in a white-collar environment and get what I feel is inappropriately excessive attention from some young married women. If I were their husbands, I’d be bothered by this. I also got one rather explicit “suggestion” from a married woman.

    I don’t think it’s good for married women and men to work together.

  10. From the Catechism of the Council of Trent (the “Prince of the Apostles” is an explicit reference to Holy Scripture):

    “On the other hand, the duties of a wife are thus summed up by the Prince of the Apostles: Let wives be subject to their husbands. that if any believe not the word, they may be won without the word by the conversation of the wives, considering your chaste conversation with fear. Let not their adorning be the outward plaiting of the hair, or the wearing of gold, or the putting on of apparel: but the hidden man of the heart in the incorruptibility of a quiet and meek spirit, which is rich in the sight of God. For after this manner heretofore the holy women also, who trusted in God, adorned themselves, being in subjection to their own husbands, as Sarah obeyed Abraham, calling him lord.

    To train their children in the practice of virtue and to pay particular attention to their domestic concerns should also be especial objects of their attention. THE WIFE SHOULD LOVE TO REMAIN AT HOME, UNLESS COMPELLED BY NECESSITY TO GO OUT; AND SHE SHOULD NEVER PRESUME TO LEAVE HOME WITHOUT HER HUSBAND’S CONSENT.

    Again, and in this the conjugal union chiefly consists, let wives never forget that next to God they are to love their husbands, to esteem them above all others, yielding to them in all things not inconsistent with Christian piety, a willing and ready obedience.”

  11. @Karl Berryman, absolutely! I love to be inspired by YouTube videos about homemaking, but I only allow myself 15 minutes just a couple of times per week. Otherwise, as you said, it turns into a rabbit trail with YouTube suggesting more and more and pretty soon an hour or more has gone by and the home is being neglected. We have to keep our minds as well as our physical selves in our homes.

  12. If you are a stay at home wife/mom and living a life of biblical womanhood and obeying your husband in everything and say that you are BORED, then you ain’t doing it right!! I can’t speak for anyone but me as I’ve never worked, however my three children are grown and I still stay home where I belong. I occasionally travel with my husband (and my parents), and when the children were younger we all traveled together with my husband’s job, but never without him. When I do go out shopping or for a walk most of the time my mother is with me as we like to do things together and we live next to each other! I do get my husband’s permission for pretty much everything, but when I leave the house that usually consists of just letting him know where I’m going – not only because I am totally obedient to him but for safety reasons as well. I am certainly most comfortable when I am with him as he completely takes care of me and I love him so much for it!!!

  13. Perhaps those who are used to eating take out meals and having house service just don’t know what they will do all day at home. Here are some suggestions:
    Monday: wash clothes, bedding, towels…
    Tuesday: work at projects such as sewing clothes for yourself or your family , organize closets/drawers/cupboards, walls and ceilings (do this once or twice a year)…
    Wednesday: shopping, post office and bank runs, drop off a loaf of bread at your elderly neighbors, surprise your friend with a quick visit…
    Thursday: bake things! Bread , pies, etc. …
    Friday: clean the house…
    In season grow vegetables and plant flowerbeds if possible. Can and freeze your produce. Teach and train your children to not only read but become Godly useful citizens. Make birthday cakes. Try sourdough bread. Have guests in.
    Wow! Having a husband praise me is pay enough for the effort it took to bake him a special dessert !?

  14. I totally agree! I am currently working as a software engineer (my father really wanted me to go to higher education) and I see all the ladies around me constantly talking about getting promotions, being managers, etc. However, I have told any courting partners that I am looking forward to life as a SAHM (even if I wasn’t, being a SAHM is the biblical way and I would do it anyways) and that they would control all the money I have saved. My company has even offered part-time work to mothers but I don’t want to give a bad example to my future daughters. I am so glad I found this blog! I needed some encouragement on my journey.

  15. This is true. I had a small job and when my husband would ask me to pay a bill I had a big stink about it. I really did want the money to just be my money. Like a little bit of nest egg money. I have been a sahm my whole marriage and yes I have wanted a bigger house etc… but I am able to temper those desires because I appreciate being able to stay at home. If I was working, I think it would fuel my sense of entitlement.

  16. Melissa, good job working and saving. You will certainly bless your future spouse and your future self as a mother, by saving money. I encourage you to continue to live under your parent’s roof if that is possible and they are not hostile to the faith. Serve them, learn how to contribute to the keeping of the household, learn how to sew, bake, and make home repairs, learn how to prepare nutritious food, get involved in children’s ministry, and most importantly get in God’s Word every chance you get that you are not doing those other things!

  17. While I thankfully stayed home to raise my children, I can’t help but think about the Proverbs 31 wife who considered fields (she had to leave her home to do such) and bought and sold them, and sold her merchandise as well. She had servant-girls to help her at home, but she also had clearly been gifted in wise real estate dealings and business. Would not a nanny be considered similar to servant girls? In the Garden, God dictated that Adam and Eve rule creation as a unit, not that she tend the Garden where they dwelled only. And what about single women? Are they not being obedient as the Bride of Christ because they use their gifting, skills, and God-given opportunities to work outside the home? Or should they only work in the church/God’s house? In fact, when you look at the original Greek of the 2 Timothy verse saying a man who does not provide for his family is worse than an unbeliever is actually a gender neutral noun. I am thankful to have stayed home with my children and in support of my husband, but since God made us in His image, male and female, I need to respectfully disagree that His image requires women to be makers of the home or else they are disobedient. I hardly think Esther would be the example she is if that were so.

  18. Esther didn’t have a career. She didn’t work for a boss, leave her children in the care of others, and work away from her home all day. The PR. 31 woman bought ONE field! This doesn’t make her a career woman. Then she planted a garden on it.

  19. I am so blessed by this blog.
    I am a stay at home mother of 7 precious souls. I have been married for 10 years.
    It’s such a blessing to read all those comments and being encouraged.
    I pray that GOD opens a door for all the women who want to stay home and take care of their family.
    Oh Lord let your will be done in JESUS name.

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