College Keeps Women From Bearing Children
Since my viral post, I find that some women are angriest when I teach that women should carefully ponder whether or not they should go to college and that they should be keepers at home since they seem to love their careers so much. As many of you know, I have a hard time with college for women for numerous reasons. The biggest reason is that it’s opposite of what God calls young women to do and may even keep them from doing what God calls them to do. Colleges’ main goal is to prepare women for careers.
According to this article in The New York Times, I am spot on about this. “The difference in when women start families cuts along many of the same lines that divide the country in other ways, and the biggest one is education. Women with college degrees have children an average of seven years later than those without — and often use the years in between to finish school and build their careers and incomes.” Sadly, the Church has fallen for this hook, line, and sinker.
One man named Kevin wrote: “Getting an education by reading and doing research yourself, is far better in my opinion than going to college …..or as I call them indoctrination centers into the liberal leftist mindset.” I don’t remember anything I learned in college. All that I know and teach today was learned by listening and learning from godly preachers of the Word, godly older women, and studying the Word for myself.
God tells us NOTHING about women being highly educated (the wisdom of this world is foolishness to Him), having careers, or providing for their families. He gave this job to men. Even part of the man’s curse was having to do with providing for their families and a man who doesn’t provide for his family is worse than an “infidel” (unbeliever) according to the LORD (1 Timothy 5:8).
But God does command that young women marry, bear children, and guide the home (1 Timothy 5:14). He calls children a blessing and wants us to raise godly offspring. (“Happy is the man who has a quiver full of children” – Psalm 127:5.) He wants women spending their lives in producing godly, eternal beings which is a full-time job. As I clearly explained in this post, birth control and women having careers is NOT from the LORD. Raising hard working, godly children is what changes cultures for good, not having most mothers leaving their homes all day and their children in the care of others. God intends mothers to raise their own children!
You may want to seriously consider this: Are you causing your daughters to maybe blaspheme the word of God (Titus 2:5) by encouraging them to go to college thus putting off marriage and bearing children and accruing a large debt that will keep them from having children and if they do have children, preventing them from being keepers at home? As believers in Jesus Christ, we must begin pondering the paths that we are directing our daughters on. Are we going with the flow of our culture or are we basing our lives upon the Word of God and obeying Him even when it seems “ignorant” and against what everyone else is doing?
No, most men do not prefer women who are dominate, loud, and feminists. Godly men prefer feminine women with meek and quiet spirits. College does not mold women into feminine women of God. The argument that women need to go to college to find a husband is false, too. Many generations of women found their husbands without spending large amounts of money to be educated in the ways of the world.
I polled the women in the chat room on where they first met their husbands and most of them found their husbands by mutual friends. The second way was online, then church, then work, and fifth was college. We don’t need to go to college to find our husbands! God doesn’t need us to spend a ton of money on ourselves or our daughters and go deeply into debt to find husbands. I don’t see anything in His Word that tells us this. Let’s begin trusting the Lord and living our lives the way He commands; for His ways are good, and acceptable, and perfect!
Thy word is a lamp unto my feet, and a light unto my path.
Psalm 119:105
42 thoughts on “College Keeps Women From Bearing Children”
True… But unfortunately many men won’t date women who haven’t got some training of some sort… Sad that radical feminism has stopped many women from being full time wives and mothers!
Would today’s young men/boys be on board with this, though? Would they be joyfully lining up to be the sole providers of the family? I believe a huge barrier to this type of family structure is actually the men/boys (even Christian ones). Aren’t they content and comfortable with the way things are now…with their wives working and bringing in some or most of the household income? Aren’t they happily relieved of the huge responsibility of being the leaders? Think about it…if Christian women all of a sudden decided to leave college/work place to stay home (via some kind of Christian revival/movement), would today’s men and boys want to step up? Just a thought and shows how far away we have drifted as a society from the traditional home. Both sexes need to be on board or it won’t work.
There will always be a remnant who will love the Lord and obey what He commands. A truly godly young women wouldn’t marry a man who wanted her to work when she had children and leave her children in day care all day long. And yes, there are men who want to be the providers and have their wives be the ones who are home raising their children. Yes, they’re harder to find but they are out there!
Training in secular humanism and in the ways of the world? A godly women wouldn’t want a man like that anyways. There will always be a remnant but for those of you who aren’t Christians, A Lady of Reason, I would think it would be almost impossible to find a man who wants a full-time mother for his children.
Indeed, and very sad how fallen we’ve come…
Yes, I believe the real men would step up, in fact I also believe if all the women dropped out of the workforce today, there would be a mad scramble to find male replacements, yes, but it would also create a demand and competition for the services of those men. That means wages and salaries would rise. Equal pay is a horrible myth. Companies know many women, for a wide variety of reasons, will take less money than a man and this actually lowers wages and salaries for men too. Also, when companies began demanding degrees for potential hires, they forgot the most important point and that is, education does NOT equal intelligence. I personally do not have a degree (I have 2 years of junior college), yet I still made a great living. Why? Because I was always willing to make a move, whether to another department, another city or another company. Because of my willingness to do that, opportunity always presented itself, degree or not.
But women shouldn’t be considering the ways in which men fail–except for carefully assessing their own prospective spouses–but instead, try to do what’s right. “I’ll try to fulfill my role Biblically when you do” is a recipe for disaster.
What are your thoughts on a woman who knows she is unable to have children or one who feels God’s call on her life to remain single and live a life serving Him? Is there any reason why they should not go to college and learn something like nursing or medicine so that they could perhaps care for others in that capacity? Especially when there are so many scholarships available for women that would keep them from going into debt?
I respect you and your opinion on this, but I believe you are incorrect when you correlate college for women (or men) with “huge” debt as this is not always the case. There are academic, athletic, and need-based scholarships available for students who want them and who are willing to work toward them.
Whether women should seek college degrees is one thing, but assuming that debt is always hand in hand with a college education just isn’t accurate. And I know lots of women who hold college degrees and who are devoted homemakers and loving wives, so college doesn’t pollute all women.
My thoughts, Laura, are that we need a lot more godly women marrying, bearing, and raising godly offspring than we need anything else; for this has the greatest impact upon future generations. If a woman knows she is unable to have children and doesn’t marry, then she is free to do as she pleases. The only direction to the unmarried woman is that she be holy in body and in spirit. Yes, some are called to singleness but the singleness is to be used in a life of serving Him as you stated, not for selfish means, name recognition, or wealth.
“Women are carrying nearly two-thirds of the country’s outstanding loan debt” and have $890 billion in student loan debt according to this article: https://www.cnbc.com/2018/06/06/why-women-hold-the-majority-of-student-loans.html
The facts don’t lie, Kelly. Most colleges and universities are very expensive and many young women have a huge mountain of debt when and if they come into marriage. It’s certainly something worth warning women about, wouldn’t you agree?
Hi there Lori, I hope you are feeling better today! ?I just wanted to ask you a question; in America if you get a degree in anything and then choose not to use it – like you stay home with your children – do you still need to pay back the government/university/college for that said degree?
I hope that makes sense I have a bad headache at the moment.
Thank you in advance, I am trying to understand your system!
Love to you and yours!???
Yes, of course. It’s student loan debt that stands at $1.5 trillion now and it must be paid back which has put many, many into bondage to their debt, sadly.
I am sorry about your headache. They are no fun at all. Have you tried peppermint oil on your temples? This has helped me so many times and yes, I am better today, thankfully.
I would not say that women should never go to college, but I would say that it shouldn’t be assumed to be the correct next step for a woman graduating high school. We should be helping our daughters form plans for living a life pleasing to the Lord. How is college going to help you achieve this? How will you pay for this?
I do remember quite a bit from my college days, and I believe this knowledge will be useful in teaching my kids, and in helping them discern what is wise among the plethora of messages and information they’ll be receiving. Owing to scholarships, I graduated with no debt, and did not buy into the party-hookup life, thanks be to God.
However, I agree that the adults around me spent far more time and effort preparing me for a career than for a husband, and I do not wish to make that mistake with my daughter.
I was raised in a family where it was college was presented as the rule, not the option. Get an athletic scholarship and go to college. I was raised by a widowed mother. She had a college careeer and raised children to go to college because it would save us if we were widowed young and have to support our children alone.
I always thought her reasoning made sense, but now I have an irrational fear of being widowed. While my mom is, or at least was, a believer I think her becoming a widow and working really contributed to a feminist-like perspective. In fact we were raised to admire and praise the single, working, college-educated mother for being both a mother and a father to her children. It’s ludicrous to me now that I am a college-educated, married woman struggling between a career and a family. I was raised to believe such lies, but I’m glad God has revealed the truth to me.
So, are you saying that women who are unable to have children should not marry? What about adoption?
Oh no, I am not saying that at all and of course, there’s always adoption for them. Here is a great post for barren and single women: https://thetransformedwife.com/what-about-barren-and-single-women/
I have never had a strong desire to go to college. When I was a senior in high school and people would ask me what college I planned to attend, it always took courage for me to say that I was not sure I wanted to go. It became a dreaded question for me as a senior since people would then tell me all the reasons why I should go. I always felt like I was the only one that had an issue with college. Also, because I was homeschooled, I felt that I was making homeschooling look bad by saying this. It has been difficult not to cave in to the pressure of going to college. Thankfully I have some wonderful parents that have encouraged me not to be afraid to seek other less expensive options.
Oh my goodness! What an amazing post. Probably one of the wisest posts I have ever read from any woman in America! This is such a needful post, because so many of our issues in America come from the failure of marriage, and having children. So many Americans think life is all about money, and having children is actually a bad thing. Women are increasingly sacrificing God and family for college and a job. This is severely reducing the eligible women to get married and have children, to love a husband and care for a home. As a result, the men of America are adrift. I was horrified to learn of one young man, a dear friend of mine in my youth, arrested today for child pornography. While this is always the fault of the person choosing it, yet does the fact that our society makes pornography available to children, and that it is extremely difficult for young men to find a wife to marry and have kids play a part. I would argue it does, though the final responsibility falls on the man.
This was a profound quote. “One man named Kevin wrote: “Getting an education by reading and doing research yourself, is far better in my opinion than going to college …..or as I call them indoctrination centers into the liberal leftist mindset.” I don’t remember anything I learned in college. All that I know and teach today was learned by listening and learning from godly preachers of the Word, godly older women, and studying the Word for myself.”
This is so very true. There is nothing one learns in college that cannot be learned from one’s Bible or the library, FOR FREE. And it’s sad so many Americans waste trillions of dollars to purchase what can be had for free.
Excellent article, Lori, hope you recover soon, and you are in my prayers.
Hi Lori,
I just would like to clarify something: Do you believe that God’s sole purpose for every woman is to have children?
Thank you in advance for your response.
Amen.
I love you how you don’t shrink from engaging topics for which you receive criticism, Lori!
College is an EXTREME SACRED COW in America, and unfortunately, not less within the church than without. When you poke that sacred cow, people scream the house down. All the more so, apparently, when the points you make are so clearly and demonstrably true.
In my family, college was an absolute. Not even questioned. Many families are the same way, and most schools as well. Other options (trade school, for example, or staying at home, for girls) are never, ever, ever mentioned. It’s simply a pecking order of who got into the most prestigious schools.
At age 37, I am still attempting to peel off layer after layer of liberal, atheist, materialist brainwashing that I received in college (and which, of course, I had no idea I was receiving). Not to mention how handicapped I have been in marriage and parenting, coming in with so little useful knowledge. (The first time I changed a diaper was the night our first child was born.)
Thank you for bringing up this topic.
You’re welcome, Diana, and yes, college education has become an idol in our nation even among Christians, sadly, as if money and stuff is more important than marriage and children.
Currently my plan is to kill two birds with one stone. I thought I’d share it here in case it is useful to any of your other readers. We homeschool our children and when they hit about 12 we plan to dual enroll them in college through online courses. There is even a great company called Unbound at getunbound.org (not to be confused with a for profit college by the same name) that will facilitate it (but they “usually” start at about 15). Basically the understanding is that college has a lot of the same courses as high school so why not take high school required courses for college credit? So with college classes in high school your child would enter college as a transfer student. Depending on the university and major they may only need one year more of school after high school to graduate college.
My husband and I met at church. I never went college and never ended up needing to. My husband provides a nice life for us. What you teach is true. Thank you, Lori!
I think many homeschool families do this! It is so helpful for daughters that have an interest in learning more about a specific field. They can be “done” with college, working part time, helping at home with siblings, and meeting potential spouses all by age 20! It also often costs much less (thousands and thousands less!)! For young men, they can be earning an income earlier or transfer to a reputable college and get the degree from there without spending a fortune.
As an Australian, I have never quite got the American obession with going to college. It is very different here!
Just wondering, Amy – how is it different in Australia? I’d love to hear about that. Here in the states, it’s beyond obsession. It’s a matter of hardcore, unquestionable, worldview.
Yes, and many even consider it a “right” too. In their view a college education is a “right” that should be protected and upheld and paid for. Which means it is yet another attack on freedom. Every false right equals an attack on freedom. People will either be forced to participate (like K-12 education) whether they want to or not and they will be forced to pay for it whether they agree with universal college education or not.
As a side, this is why women’s votes and participation in politics is overwhelming negative. The majority of women rightly look for someone else to pay their way. If it is not a natural relationship like a father or husband then God has given us the church. But since women and the church have mutually rejected this relationship women have looked to government to be their providers and overwhelmingly fight and vote for more “rights” that will then infringe on other’s freedoms.
In reply to Diana. In Australia, we have 12 years of schooling. At the end of year 12, you take exams, and are given a score out of 100. You then have a number of choices. Go to what we call TAFE, which is a college of Technical and Further Education. It is not a live in one, and there are numerous ones in cities. This is the way you get qualified to be a hairdresser, mechanic, electrican, etc. You end up with a diploma. If you want to be a teacher, historian, doctor etc, you need a high enough score to get into that degree. Some offer accommodation for country students. You are also able to get govt payment for both University and TAFE, and for Uni, don’t need to pay back the fees until you are earning x amount. In this you end up with a Bachelor’s degree. Many kids get a job right out of school, and unfortunately some end up on unemployment benefits. Hope this helps!
A resounding ‘YES’ from the core group of men (all aged 25-35) in my circle. All of us avid readers of the Bible, athletic, with careers.
One of us recently paired off with and proposed to a young lady in the church, yet bemoans the concern he must now take on behalf of her career. A burden he should not have. His worries should only be where he can apply his God-given gifts to make an earning to support the family, not hers. A house divided will not stand. (Ma 3:25)
The rest of us in our core group continue to trust God, hope, pray and prepare in the meantime for our own Ruths, Myriams and Rachels. (Ps 27:14)
I met my husband at a small Bible college. We both graduated with little debt because we got a discount for having parents in full time ministry. We got married soon after college and started our family soon after, so we were pretty young by modern averages. I stay home with my children and believe very strongly in that, and take my role as a wife and mother to heart. Even though we thankfully missed the full brunt of huge college loans and the secular indoctrination, and I enjoyed my time there a lot, I still sometimes wish I had gotten married earlier and not bothered with college—but that would’ve meant I wouldn’t have met my wonderful husband! It *is* very pricey, and for people my age (millennials), you aren’t guaranteed a job like was promised by previous generations. I think the older generations hold the college experience in such high regard that a lot of us younger people were pressured to go by parents. I got the “you need a degree in case your husband gets sick and you need to support the family” thing from my parents—and as a young person, it was hard to argue with that!
Hi Lori, I don’t mean any disrespect but can’t I expand my mind and horizons by attending college. I am preparing to finish high school in a few years and the only thing I’m focused on is getting admitted into an Ivy League school where I want study for as long as I can afford to. I want to get a Phd and become highly successful in a career. There are no plans in my future for marriage and children. I just wanted your opinion on this as I have never really met anyone who has such strong convictions. Thank you and as I said before, no disrespect, I’m just curious.
All I can tell you, AD, is that I went to college and had a career but this can’t even come close to comparing with being married for 38 years, raising four children, and now loving on my almost nine grandchildren. My mother spent her life serving her family and she was surrounded by all of those she poured her love into during the last weeks of her life. Any career you can have can be replaced by many but no one can replace a godly wife and mother in her family’s life. This is investing into eternity instead of the here and now.
True joy and satisfaction comes in life from seeking to love and serve others (giving our lives away) instead of seeking to fulfill our dreams and desires. God’s will and ways are always best!
The thing is though, the idea of being a wife and mother is not appealing to me at all, in fact, I don’t really like kids. I enjoy being independent and my family and friends support me in that decision. I want to make a name for myself in the history books and I want to spend my life doing what makes me happy. I get that you enjoy homemaking and that it brings you happiness but I don’t think this over generalization is accurate for many girls like me.
You need to pay attention to what older feminists are saying about their lonely lifestyles because they swallowed the feminists’ lies about chasing careers, traveling, etc, instead of being married and having children. There are many of them and many of them aren’t even Christians! Careers can’t love you back and take care of you in your old age.
Women who are “barren”. Unable to have children. In 40% of marriages it is the man who is unable to have children. Not blaming them, just stating the fact here.
as a childfree woman, I loved Lori’s post about barreness. helped me realise i am not worthless just because i am asexual, aromantic and childfree. my health would suffer if i had children, i have several health conditions which mean i am registered disabled and need care in my own home. i also have PCOS, so unlikely i would fall pregnant in the first place. just sometimes it has been tempting to feel sorry for myself but i am learning to realise i am very blessed- i have no need of sex or relationship with intimate partner which means life is simpler for me- it frees me to be a support for my friends and church family.
I found Jesus in college. I met the most Godly women of friends there, and after I had accepted Christ, my eyes were open to the brokenness around me and I was able to share Jesus through my testimony with those around me.
You see, I lost both of my parents in high school. I was angry and ready to begin a new life when I ended up in college. But God LED me to college to surround me with the people who would teach me about Jesus and ultimately lead to my salvation. If I hadn’t gone to college, I’m not sure how God would’ve gotten a hold of my heart but I know He would have somehow. I just share this because my experience at college was wonderful. And for women who are believers, what a wonderful opportunity to share the Gospel with people her own age and pray for the lost and broken around her, and teach other college women the Word and disciple them by investing in them.
Not all girls are brought up in the church and understand this “keeper at home” mentality. They might find Christ through their career. They might find Christ in college. They might find Christ as they pursue a life of a stripper. I have many friends who are Godly women who are not married, and they would not be able to sustain themselves if they did not have a job. Jobs teach us social skills and how to work with people who are challenging. I was able to minister to women and students through my career as a teacher. If I had just been sitting at home sewing and cooking, these women would not have heard the Gospel and began coming to church with me. I’m married but we don’t have children yet. Our first priority is to make disciples of the people God has surrounded us with. And when we do have children, I am confident that they will know who Christ is, even if I am not at home with them 24/7. Even if they go to public school, even if they stray away, they will always have His word in their hearts because that is what we will teach them.
BUT, those children and adults around us who have NEVER heard the Gospel NEED us believers to show them who He is. We can’t do that if we are stuck at home. God gave me a powerful testimony and an even more powerful command to share it with everyone I build a relationship with. I have read your articles and I agree with things you say, but not everyone has the ideal situation and I feel like you are missing the great commission where Jesus commanded us to go and make disciples of all the nations. I love you sister, and I am praying to see an article relating this into Biblical womanhood.
Hi Sarah,
God is able to save people even if they don’t spend boatloads of money to go to college. He doesn’t need expensive, humanistic institutions to do this. Yes, His Word can even reach people in these institutions and praise the Lord that He does and He did with you, but I am sure he could have reached you other places too. He is not limited by anything, thankfully!
Here is a mother who believes exactly what you believe about college and marriage and that is what I taught my girls. However, you don’t need people outside the church to influence your children, your church can do a pretty good job. When your pastors wife believes that everyone should have a college education since you never know you might be single for the rest your life, or well you don’t want to always work in retail do you, or flip burgers, that flies against anything I believe. My second youngest daughter wanted to go to beauty school which still is very expensive but decided to go to get a degree. I tried to convince her maybe to just start with the 9 month program, which is a lot cheaper, it is at a Tech school in town. But she wants to jump into two years.
My middle child wanted to make movies but I am glad she got away from that. Her friend whose mom believes in College education says she does not want to get married. So, not long ago I get this drama from her complaining, that she always felt unconformable because I always talked about them getting married and having children. That she could never tell me she does not want to get married and some other stuff. I was speechless to say. We knew of single ladies and I don’t think I ever said you shall not ever stay single.Also I always said if you must go to college than pick something that could be used for when you have a family and once you have children you can’t work outside the home. Just because Paul said you can be single doesn’t mean you will. My oldest works now in an Nursing home and she is saving money for when she gets married if God gives her a husband. Which I must say is difficult. We moved a lot and it is so hard to find young Christian men who are looking for wives. We could not financially support the girls, they had to get jobs, but most of the money they can save. That was not my ideal but due to our circumstances it is what it is. As mother you, homeschool, teach about godly woman hood, etc. But the people in church who supposed to encourage what you are teaching throw you a brick between your legs. My middle daughter wants to study online something where I think , what will she do with it ? Over the years I see Homeschool moms push their daughters to go to college, God only knows where. My oldest is at a Christian College which is also overpriced but it did do him good. The first thing we did make sure there was a solid Church where he can grow. I listened to an old message by John MacArthur about Godly woman hood and that is what I wanted for my daughters. People in the church were not helpful in supporting this. Don’t just worry about the influences outside the church, also inside the church. To me it is dis-hardening. Another good point J.MacArthur made was how many men could have had this job and supported their family. Something worthy to consider. Woman in the past had to rely on family when single, some worked as teachers or nurses. But to think you must get an education just in case of singleness, divorce or husbands death is sad. As families we should always help each other when one falls on hard times. Just like with having babies. Can’t afford, can’t handle, doesn’t work for us etc.