When Women Were Happy in the Home Without the World’s Smiles and Favors

When Women Were Happy in the Home Without the World’s Smiles and Favors

Before feminism and birth control, children were valued in America. The woman’s place in the home was valued and so was the man’s place as protector and provider. America was founded upon biblical principles and this is what made it great for many years because God’s ways are good, and acceptable, and perfect. Most today, even Christians, don’t value children and think that having only a few children is all couples should have.

This mindset is from feminism and birth control (Margaret Sanger – an agent of Satan) which influenced women to believe that it was their right to be liberated from the “tyranny” of reproduction and domesticity. Is this belief from God and is it biblical or is it from something sinister and evil; women being convinced they should have full control over their childbearing as the feminist’s leaders who hated marriage and children proudly proclaimed?

“University of Oklahoma historian, Robert Griswold, cited an article published in the San Mateo Gazette in the mid-19th century that states, ‘Woman is set in the household and man is sent out into the world.’ Even a woman of modest means could ‘be happy in the love of her husband, her home, and its beautiful duties without asking the world for its smiles and favors,’ the article argued.'”

Women weren’t dissatisfied in their homes up until and through the 19th century, because this was all they knew. They knew their God-ordained role. Divorce was low. Children were plentiful and were being raised by their mothers from intact homes. Children were valued and most grew up to be emotionally stable and secure. Many families weren’t considered “wealthy” in terms of finances but they were considered wealthy in terms of what matters in life. (I am not trying to romanticize this time in history since I know full well that sin existed and was alive and well but simply pointing out a time in American history when roles were clearly defined and culture at large was better and safer since families were much stronger than they are today.)

Nancy Campbell published this on her Facebook page a few days ago: “In 1831, Alexis de Tocqueville scrutinized America’s religion and government, its society and industry. He wanted to know what caused the United States to surpass Europe as the world’s political and economic superpower.

“His conclusion? WOMEN.

“The women Tocqueville saw were not CEOs or celebrities, politicians, or professional athletes. They were largely confined to the home: cleaning, cooking, taking care of children. But to the young political historian, no position seemed more important. ‘There have never been free societies without morals, and . . . it is the woman that molds the morals,’ he wrote. Tocqueville saw American women as the keystone of the family, the ones who held everyone else together.

“By taking primary responsibility for the home, American women allowed their husbands to fulfill their roles as providers and protectors, and they both worked toward a common goal: STRENGTHENING THE FAMILY. These traditional roles of men and women, maligned today as harmful ‘gender stereotypes,’ are precisely what helped to make America exceptional in Tocqueville’s eyes.”

When Aleixis de Tocquevile made these observations, most children were being schooled at home by their mothers. (It wasn’t until 1918 that all children were required to attend public elementary school.) Before the world wars, the average size of families was six to nine children. Once women got a taste of working outside of the home, these number gradually decreased. The women figured out that the more children they had, the harder it was for them to go out and work. (Ponder this for a moment: Working outside the home became more important for women and still is than bearing and raising children. Who do you suppose was and is deceiving them in this way?) Women now have much less time for their husbands, children, and homes.

“The desire for sexual freedom without the attendant results and the demand for birth control and abortion to be treated as basic human rights – this is rebellion against one of the fundamental jobs which Eve was created to do. On a physical level, we are designed to have babies, and this is so terribly obvious that it is embarrassing. Everything about us is meant for mothering, from being sexually attractive to men in the first place, to be able to conceive, to the ability to weave together another little human being inside of us without even trying, to the breasts that feed the baby, to all the mothering instincts that are hard-wired into us…it is our design” (Rebekah Merkle).

Women will now continually ask about being able to afford having many children and being able to be home full time even though we live in the wealthiest country that has ever existed. God always provides but He doesn’t necessarily provide in advance unless we are willing to step out in faith and be obedient to Him. “I have been young, and now am old; yet have I not seen the righteous forsaken, nor his seed begging bread” (Psalm 37:25). What about married couples who don’t want children? If you’re called to have sex (which most people are), then you’re called to be married and have children! This is God’s design. Birth control is not.

One woman on Facebook shared this picture from history and wrote the words below it:

This is almost every single man’s and woman’s calling.
This is what families should look like.
This is trusting God.
This is changing the world.
This is what stops Satan.
This is what saves humanity.
#sayYEStoChildren

Say YES to God’s plan for you, women. Say YES to marriage. Say YES to being keepers at home. Say YES to bearing and raising godly offspring who are immortal. Say YES to femininity and contentment in God’s perfect will for you. Say NO to the ways of the world and its empty promises of fulfillment. Say NO to Satan’s lies and his destruction. Say NO to worldly fame and success. Say YES to Christ!

I speak as an older woman now and I can say without a doubt that our children and our grandchildren are our greatest blessings in our lives! Nothing else comes even close. Find joy in God’s calling on your life. Yes, it’s hard but it’s good. You are storing your treasures in heaven and this is all that matters in the end.

Lo, children are an heritage of the Lord: and the fruit of the womb is his reward. As arrows are in the hand of a mighty man; so are children of the youth. Happy is the man that hath his quiver full of them: they shall not be ashamed, but they shall speak with the enemies in the gate.
Psalm 127:3-5

***A post for the single and barren women.

27 thoughts on “When Women Were Happy in the Home Without the World’s Smiles and Favors

  1. So sad the nuclear family and cherishing, not resenting children are becoming outdated in this society! I have said again and again how it is breeding a generation of selfish, entitled people who will go on to perpetuate that callous hurt on their own children! How sad and disgusting!

  2. Thanks for another great post, Lori. While the past certainly wasn’t sinless, there was a stronger Judeo-Christian influence in general society then. Even unbelieving families usually had the Scripturally-structured model of the husband/father earning the living and the wife/mother at home taking care of the house and the children.

    Even at a belated age, I think women still want to have children; it’s a natural thing God has placed in us. Some may adopt or provide foster care if they do marry later, perhaps.

    I do wonder if you can address why a married couple would not want children. Maybe too much worldly influence, or possibly because of their age? It seems they should at least be aware that they may have a child, even if they’re a bit older. All couples should enter into marriage with this knowledge.

    1. I believe the reason many married couples don’t want children today is due to birth control and the lies they have believed. There wasn’t this option before birth control so everyone knew that once a couple got married, they would most likely have children if the wife wasn’t infertile. It’s the way it worked and what God intended. My grandmother had her seventh baby when she was 47 years old and he grew to be the tallest and strongest of them all!

      1. I met my best friend when she was 16. I was 21. She told me then that she never wanted to have kids. I was shocked, but she just said she didn’t she had a maternal bone in her body. As we got older, I fully expected she would change her mind. Nope. When she finally got married near 30, she held to it. Her husband was okay with either having kids or not. At 36, she had an 8 lb. tumor removed in/with her uterus. Her doctor told her she would’ve never been able to carry a pregnancy or maybe even conceive. I’ve often wondered if that total lack of maternal desire was His way of sparing her the suffering of being barren. I could’ve used that…..

        1. It’s not normal for women to not want children, Debby. It’s built into our nature and our body’s design to want them. Feminism has tried killing this natural desire and has accomplished it in most women since they’ve convinced women that having children and staying home is bondage and there is so much more for them “out there.” We can’t guess why your friend had this tumor. The doctors don’t know everything, either. We just obey what He has commanded and leave the results up to Him.

    2. “there was a stronger Judeo-Christian influence in general society then. ”
      How much of this is due to the immigration policies since 1965?
      With more people from different areas, the less Judeo-Christian influence. Just a thought.

  3. Wonderful post Lori! I’m a young wife, my husband and I have been married for almost a year and we are trying to conceive! We are praying God will bless us soon! Letting the Lord decide how many kids we will have. I am at home and he provides even though we dont have children yet and we get a lot of weird looks when we tell people that. We feel it is Gods design for women to be home and my husband doesn’t want me out in the work place. There is too much ungodliness for a women these days. We love our simple life and it is possible to live off of one income! You have to be willing to “sacrifice” some things but to us it’s not a sacrifice because we are in the will of God. Keep us in your prayers for patients in this season of waiting for children. God bless you!! Love your blog. Yourself and Nancy Campbell speak into my life on a daily basis!

    1. Congratulations Jaela. I am sure that God will bless you in your commitment to follow his design for husband and wife in a Godly marriage.

  4. You’re sweet grandchildren are so adorable!
    I just ordered a few books from above rubies all about this I’m so excited to read them!

  5. I don’t often comment on blog posts these days, as I’m pretty busy with my little stair steps. This post encourages my heart – it’s so awesome to see someone else holding to the forgotten Biblical truths of femininity and our worthy calling as women. Thank you.

  6. It truly saddens me how mixed up this world has become, thanks to Satan and his wiles.

    Just the other day I read a news headline “Kiwi Dad about to give birth”. Of course, curious, I read it. This “Dad” is a woman. A pregnant woman. But she “identifies” as a man and, despite having all the woman parts intact in her body and doing the most feminine thing it is possible to do (conceive and carry a child) she is insisting she is a man. When is the craziness going to stop? I truly fear for my children, growing up in this crazy, messed up world where people can choose to be whatever they want to be, instead of embracing how God made us.

    God doesn’t make mistakes. His ways are perfect. Why does society keep rejecting them?

    1. Because they hate God. “This know also, that in the last days perilous times shall come. For men shall be lovers of their own selves, covetous, boasters, proud, blasphemers, disobedient to parents, unthankful, unholy, Without natural affection, trucebreakers, false accusers, incontinent, fierce, despisers of those that are good, Traitors, heady, highminded, lovers of pleasures more than lovers of God; Having a form of godliness, but denying the power thereof: from such turn away.” (2 Timothy 3:1-5) This is a time for Christians to shine their light brighter, be salt to a decaying world, and continue to obey the LORD in what He commands. As long as women can bear children, they should bear them and bring them up in the nurture and the admonition of the LORD.

  7. I agree that our culture despises women in the home, especially compared with 150 years ago, but I think the only time we were “content” without a great deal of effort was back in Genesis 2.

    1. I used the word “dissatisfied” for a reason because it’s all they knew. One is satisfied with Crest toothpaste if this is the only toothpaste there is but when there are many toothpastes to choose from, one might choose one and become dissatisfied with it because they know there are probably better ones. Without the knowledge of birth control, higher education, and careers, women were satisfied becoming wives, mothers, and being home full time since this is all they knew. Yes, some of them were most likely discontent with the spouse they were married to and their children’s behavior and maybe how dirty their homes got but they weren’t dissatisfied with being wives and mothers since this was all they knew. It wasn’t until after the wars when women were practically forced to be out of their homes that they became dissatisfied being home because there was something better “out there.”

  8. I am the youngest of 14 children. Large family living is all I have ever known. I love children!! My husband and I have 8 and counting…..But we are in it alone as far as society goes. I’m okay with that. I love my husband and we cherish ALL of our children. We are happy to tackle the everyday together for them. We are happy to homeschool them all. We are happy when a new little one is born into our family. We are doing this life together and I am overjoyed.

    The world, people we meet at the store, family and friends….they don’t agree with us. They don’t like it. They don’t understand. They want no part of it…that makes me feel so sad for them because look what I have! I have this amazing hardworking husband who even after 17 years makes me feel so happy when he pulls up at home from working every day. These amazing little people that God has given us to raise are exactly that….amazing! I get excited to get out of bed every morning, make a homemade breakfast for my crew and tackle the everyday. I want to! I don’t envy or want the opposite of this life I have. I am happy everyday. I am content.

        1. We have three living children and one miscarried child. My MIL seems to regard my uterus as a ticking time-bomb that might go off any minute; it’s amusing and horrifying.

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