Choose Your Hard

Choose Your Hard

Comments 23 comments

There is a meme being passed around about choosing one’s hard.

Marriage is hard.
Divorce is hard.
Choose your hard.

Obesity is hard.
Being fit is hard.
Choose your hard.

Being in debt is hard.
Being financially disciplined is hard.
Choose your hard.

Communication is hard.
Not communicating is hard.
Choose your hard.

The women in the chat room and I thought up a few more.

Making the effort to be healthy is hard.
Being sick due to neglecting your health is hard.
Choose your hard.

Teaching children to be obedient is hard.
Having disobedient/rebellious children is hard.
Choose your hard.

Homeschooling your children is hard.
Losing your children to the ungodly views of the world is hard.
Choose your hard.

Being with your children all day is hard.
Being away from your kids all day is hard.
Choose your hard.

Being submissive to one’s husband is hard.
Having two heads in conflict is hard.
Choose your hard.

Working hard in your home is hard.
Being lazy and having a dirty/cluttered home is hard.
Choose your hard.

Building your home up is hard.
Tearing it down with your own hands is hard.
Choose your hard.

Then the meme ends this way:

“Life will never be easy. It will always be hard. But we can choose our hard. Choose wisely.”

(If anyone know who created it, let me know so I can give them credit.)

But as for me and my house, we will serve the LORD.
Joshua 24:15

23 thoughts on “Choose Your Hard”

  2. This reminds me of one of my favorite verses…

    “…I have set before you life and death, blessing and curse. Therefore choose life, that you and your offspring may live,
    ”
    Deuteronomy 30:19 ESV

  3. Saving sex for marriage is hard.
    Having sex before marriage is hard.
    .
    Choose your hard.??
    .
    I will always choose the first one btw.?

  6. Thank You So Much Mrs.Lori Alexander.?
    But one of the things that worry me is finding a virgin.
    After reading your article Marrying A Virgin Is No Big Deal,I cannot unlook things and let things just happen for me.
    You are so wise and so true…pre-marital sex and marrying a non-virgin comes with real serious consequences…it is just that the consequences are not discussed much I think because people buy into that secular lie that “everyone has a past”.
    Thank You Mrs.Lori Alexander for always guiding young adults like me towards what is right.
    Have A Great Day ahead.?

  10. Being single is hard.
    Being single is harder for women.
    Being married will likely be even harder for men.

    From the perspective of a Christian man with considerable experience dating Christian women I offer an unsolicited opinion.

    First, consider just staying single. It might seem hard at times but a disastrous marriage might make you wish you had never been born. I’ve seen it many times in the lives of married and divorced men around me. I would at least keep life long singleness in the back of your mind as a possible win, even if by default. As a younger man I decided if I met a good, not perfect match, I would marry. If I didn’t then I wouldn’t. As it is I’ve dated more Christian women than I could readily remember and haven’t come close to a decent match yet. Being single get easier for men as we get older.

    Virgin? It’s generally a better place to start than the alternative but her attitude is even more important. Does she think she’s a princess and you owe her the world but she feels no obligations to give in return? Is she a virgin because she has next to no sexual desire? Especially not for you? Is she simply in poor physical condition and therefore wasn’t pursued? Is she entitled, selfish, manipulative, controlling? You’re not going to be satisfied with a marriage to a woman like this, virgin or otherwise. Don’t walk, run away!

    It’s always been complex but it’s never been more so than in this day and age. Our culture is garbage and the culture now dominates most of the church. Don’t count out a woman who has made a sexual mistake but is repentant for her sins, humble, helpful, considerate. I would however, and have, passed on women who were seemingly repentant but who’s sexual past was just staggeringly bad. Usually I meet church bad girls who don’t even regret it. Several have told me that. I wouldn’t marry a retired bad girl no matter how much she’s changed. There are consequences to stupid choices that don’t just go away because we’re sorry. Many aren’t even sorry.

    I’m not cleaning up a woman’s bad consequences. Much less for a woman that wouldn’t even appreciate it but instead feel entitled to it.

  11. Life is full of choices. I can choose to diet, use natural cleaners, and line dry my laundry. But I am commanded to keep my home, teach my children to obey, and submit to my husband. If I choose not to honour these commandments I will most likely pay the hard consequences that go with it. Remember Lot’s wife.

  16. Or for me personally: Staying in a difficult, emotionally abusive marriage is hard. Leaving is hard. How on earth do you “choose your hard” in this situation, especially when he’s telling me to leave?

  18. Dear Twilight, i’ve heard it said, that as women age, they get an independent streak. Maybe so, and maybe no, but for me – since my husband has been gone for two years (hospital people couldn’t bring him back) i have no desire for even a half-hour coffee-date.
    Being young is hard – too much nonsense. Glad i’m old, and (Lord willing) independent.

  19. Dear Twilight.
    Thank you for replying and sharing your wisdom…this definetely helps young adults like me.
    .
    “Being single is harder for women.”
    How come it is hard!?
    In these modern times,women are pursued by men all the time!
    This is why we have the problem of relationship dynamics right!?

    “First, consider just staying single. It might seem hard at times but a disastrous marriage might make you wish you had never been born. I’ve seen it many times in the lives of married and divorced men around me.”
    .
    Well you are right.I mean my current Retroactive Jealousy has made me think that I should not have born itself.More like I was born in the wrong generation.

    “I would at least keep life long singleness in the back of your mind as a possible win, even if by default. As a younger man I decided if I met a good, not perfect match, I would marry. If I didn’t then I wouldn’t. As it is I’ve dated more Christian women than I could readily remember and haven’t come close to a decent match yet.”
    .
    I am afraid of being single…more scared of the fact that even at the age of 20 no girl has ever liked me or the fact that I have never had a girlfriend.My subconscious makes me think that my time is running out.Of course even I expect a good match,not a perfect one.Someone who has my basic standards any conservative man has had for the past 2000 years.Now that you are saying that you never came close of finding a decent match makes me wonder that do most people settle for someone??

    “Virgin? It’s generally a better place to start than the alternative but her attitude is even more important.”
    .
    Well this factor us quite important to me.I understand my above statement is very outrageous but it is the truth.Why should I be the one to take her in when others have gotten the fruits of marriage without investing anything!?
    I slogged all my life only to get paired up with this!?

    “Is she simply in poor physical condition and therefore wasn’t pursued? Is she entitled, selfish, manipulative, controlling? You’re not going to be satisfied with a marriage to a woman like this, virgin or otherwise. Don’t walk, run away!”
    .
    So the solution to this is she should be both:a virgin as well a woman with good morals and understanding.Now people would ask me that what if you get someone with good manners and understanding but isn’t a virgin!?
    This is where sometimes I think that I should lose my virginity to someone else so that this factor is settled once and for all.
    But this goes against my upbringing though.

    “It’s always been complex but it’s never been more so than in this day and age.”
    .
    Yes it has been complex but the way it is today is real toxic.All thanks to Feminism.
    So much so that now marriage post it’s purpose because women got “liberated”.
    And now these same women even whije and cry over the Internet when they can’t find a good match!?
    Well if a woman has some standard,so does a man.
    Why are men told to give up their standards and ridiculed as well??

    “Our culture is garbage and the culture now dominates most of the church.”
    Reminds me of Progresive Christanity.

    “Don’t count out a woman who has made a sexual mistake but is repentant for her sins, humble, helpful, considerate.”
    Reminds of this.
    https://thetransformedwife.com/marrying-a-virgin-is-no-big-deal/
    Here he saif that she was the least repentant of her sins.

    Hope you reply soon.?

  20. Yash,

    You’re quite young. Let me encourage you first of all to Follow Christ. Live for him, obey his commandments. No one is more important, certainly not any female. Next, you need to understand the marketplace you’re trying to break into but really don’t need to bother with.

    Male/female pairing was once based almost entirely on marriage. There was a hierarchy of opportunity. There were women at the top: The youngest and most attractive. It scaled down from there for women, especially as they aged (being single is hard for older women as their influencing power in the market is gone). Men at the top: financially secure, high status, not too old then it scaled down from there for men (singleness was harder for young men who weren’t established). Casual sex changed everything.

    The sexual revolution created a new game. Young women of average attractiveness and a few older ones who can keep themselves together have new opportunities. Casual sex, attention, validation from the most attractive men, however worthless, with no obligations. Under the old system such harlots would have been doomed to lifelong singleness or very poor marriage options because no respectable man would marry them. In the modern age men have, for a time, been pressured to except such women as wives. Problem is, for harlots, word around campfire is they make terrible wives. The game appears to be winding down in this market cycle. Marriage rates are plummeting. See MGTOW.

    You don’t want to be the last man in line, Yash. The guy who pays the premium for something a woman was giving away for free when she was younger and more attractive. Why do women complain about men’s standards? Because they’re hypergamous. They want to have sex with and marry men above their own desirability level. Also known as greed. You now also see a lot of rhetorical damage control from women, after making fools of themselves. They’re running cover, it’s a smoke screen. They don’t want to pay the consequences of their stupidity. They want some hapless man to pay. Don’t do it.

    It’s not so difficult to understand: Women are the gatekeepers of sex. Men are the gatekeepers of commitment. It was an exchange. However, Men are tightening their gates down more than ever now, even as women’s gates are about to fly off the hinges! Women who throw their power away end up looking stupid In the end. Men who reward them anyway? Don’t be a chump.

    My advice, stay single. If you won’t hear it, don’t worry, there’s plenty of time later to waste your strength on a woman. Focus on self improvement, especially financially. If you succeed by the time you’re 35 there will be women chasing you. If you make it to 40 and are single? What most of these women have to offer you for marriage will seem laughable. You’ll be the one giving thIs advice to younger men.

  21. Trusting in the Lord is often hard. However, not trusting Him or walking in His ways is also hard, as it leads to sin and disastrous consequences.

  22. Hey Twilight…first of all I am extremely sorry for this really late reply.I was out of town and then postponed it.Please accept my sincere apologies.The wisdom you have provided me here is really excellent.

    “Male/female pairing was once based almost entirely on marriage. There was a hierarchy of opportunity. There were women at the top: The youngest and most attractive. It scaled down from there for women, especially as they aged (being single is hard for older women as their influencing power in the market is gone). Men at the top: financially secure, high status, not too old then it scaled down from there for men (singleness was harder for young men who weren’t established). Casual sex changed everything.”

    Wow.This is something I never read anywhere even though I have dabbled into the RedPill and MGTOW.
    So can we say that there were two types of pairing:one which started since the beginning of our civilization and existed for thousands of years & the other one who has existed after Feminism came onboard(the degenerate one of course).
    Also will it be wrong to assume that 99% of the people were virgins until marriage i.e. one sex partner for life was the normal and everyone was proud of it.

    “The sexual revolution created a new game. Young women of average attractiveness and a few older ones who can keep themselves together have new opportunities. Casual sex, attention, validation from the most attractive men, however worthless, with no obligations. Under the old system such harlots would have been doomed to lifelong singleness or very poor marriage options because no respectable man would marry them. In the modern age men have, for a time, been pressured to except such women as wives. Problem is, for harlots, word around campfire is they make terrible wives. The game appears to be winding down in this market cycle. Marriage rates are plummeting. See MGTOW.”

    Oh man the sexual revolution changed the social fabric of the West for the worst.The people of that time took in temporary pleasure for future permanent damage which we see now.People from that generation became idols for today’s young adults where ultra filthy concepts like sex-positivity(I am NOT a prude but we all know what they teach in sex-positivity) and first date sex are becoming common.
    Thanks for gems like Mrs.Lori Alexander who are trying their best to hold the society together with their Godly values.
    You said it right…no respectable man would have married such harlots but now even pastors in the Chruches are shaming men to “man up” and marry them which is ridiculous.It makes me sad that what the average modern Western man has to go through now.
    Yes,I agree they are being pressurised to marry such dishonourable women because men’s standards and choices are being shamed.
    Mrs.Lori Alexander wrote that “Men prefer debt-free virgins without tattoos” but I would even go on to say that Men WANT debt-free virgins without tattoos,until that man specifies otherwise..it is his choice if he wants anything else…otherwise this should be the norm…like it always has been before Feminism came along.
    Regarding them making terrible wives….of course!!
    First of all why should they deserve a man’s attention and resources when she gave away one of the most precious things that value her:her virginity.
    When the marriage is doomed from the start,obviously it will be not worth it.

    “You don’t want to be the last man in line, Yash. The guy who pays the premium for something a woman was giving away for free when she was younger and more attractive. Why do women complain about men’s standards? Because they’re hypergamous. They want to have sex with and marry men above their own desirability level. Also known as greed. You now also see a lot of rhetorical damage control from women, after making fools of themselves. They’re running cover, it’s a smoke screen. They don’t want to pay the consequences of their stupidity. They want some hapless man to pay. Don’t do it.”

    No brother I DO NOT want to the last man in the line.Period.That sounds scary,cheated(yes cheated even if it happened before we met) and taken advantage of.
    I toil away all my youthful years in hardwork and slogwork only to marry someone who gave it up to a man who she was not sure she will marry or not!
    Even in a relationship where those two are deeply in love,there is 0.01% that something might go wrong.
    That is why pre-marital sex has always been shamed and disallowed.ALWAYS.Before Feminism came along.

    “It’s not so difficult to understand: Women are the gatekeepers of sex. Men are the gatekeepers of commitment. It was an exchange. However, Men are tightening their gates down more than ever now, even as women’s gates are about to fly off the hinges! Women who throw their power away end up looking stupid In the end. Men who reward them anyway? Don’t be a chump.”

    Yes I totally understand it brother.This is the best way to pair up with a mate…this great way has been the only way since our ancestors time and I love it so much.
    God’s design…one man,one woman,one life..both being virgins.❤?

    So yes Twilight,I agree with everything you said and also thank you with the bottom of my heart for your wisdom for a young adult like me.
    Like you said it is best to stay single until I find the one.
    All these things I learn here from Mrs.Lori Alexander and other wise people like you will really help me find a great match.
    Thank You.❤?
    Take care.

Leave a Reply

Your email address will not be published. Required fields are marked *