Finding Joy in the Mundane
Written to me by a woman who wants to remain anonymous.
I have been following your blog and Facebook account for some time now, and it initially infuriated me. I am a stay at home mother, and I would not trade a minute of it. However, I went to college, and then to graduate school. I amassed $30,000 in loans to do it. And then I worked. And worked hard, 70 hour weeks seven days a week. At that time, we needed my income to survive, but it was also a source of personal pride in what I’d achieved.
When I became pregnant I quit working, which I’d always planned to do. And I suddenly found myself very depressed. I didn’t spend all that time, energy, and money to change diapers! No, anyone could do that. This was meaningless work and totally unfulfilling personally, although I would never put my child in daycare.
I’ve grappled with this for several months. I read. I studied. I prayed. I consulted older women in my church. And I began to accept that this is my career. This is what I was meant to do. And I began to find joy in the mundane. (Let’s face it, housekeeping and diaper changing can be monotonous). I prayed steadily for the Lord to give me joy in this season and this new role. To take the desire for outside work and career achievements from me. And he has answered me.
I have been so convicted to keep my home, feed my husband, raise, teach, and train my son, and if there be any time else after personal studies, then I add in play dates, excursions, etc., but my first priority is to keep my home and family ordered and maintained. My husband works two jobs for me to stay home, so I don’t take the job lightly. But I admit, in my personal/postpartum depression I was resentful and lazy. He has been so impressed the last few months coming home to a clean house, a happy family, and a hot meal. And his joy in working has improved as a result.
Following the Scriptural plan for your life isn’t always easy. Not when it requires such a drastic change from the life you’d been living/dreaming. But it is always worth it. I did what I was told to do, whether I “wanted” to or not, and the Lord in his grace has also now given me the heart and joy in doing so. Obedience is ALWAYS better.
And Samuel said, Hath the LORD as great delight in burnt offerings and sacrifices, as in obeying the voice of the LORD? Behold, to obey is better than sacrifice, and to hearken than the fat of rams.
1 Samuel 15:22
13 thoughts on “Finding Joy in the Mundane”
How incredibly sad it is this woman is too afraid to speak this out using her name! Have we fallen so far in society, where a woman who desires only home and family must be anonymous??? she said nothing out of the question or inflammatory, just her personal choice to stay home as wife and mother satisfied her. She is fully entitled to make that choice, and not be attacked for it! Has radical feminism gone so far, a woman admitting to wanting to be a woman, not a male copy, must hide her true identity??? What an outrage! All I have to say is to that woman who is afraid, don’t be. Follow your convictions, and be PROUD to buck the trend of devaluing women by pressuring them to be like men!
I really do believe that one day we will look back at our lives and realise it was the so call mundane thing that brought us the most joy and love in our lives.
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I totally agree lady of reason. Get up the feminists nose and reveal a name. If she is well known, it may lead to some changing their minds.
Love this! Thanks to the author for sharing!!
Lori,
How beautiful is this testimony indeed!
And let the beauty of the LORD our God be upon us: and establish the work of our hands…; yea, the work of our hands establish Thou it.
~Psalm 90:17
As a man, I have suffered a handicap that keeps me at home most time now. I can’t fly around the world as I used to for my job.
I’m happier than ever. I see my kids constantly, I help my wife, I fix and work in the backyard. I go to high school football games. Everything here in my home town is so satisfying and wonderful to me. The sun shines. The bees buzz. No different here than in Africa or any other nation.
Most of the people I know who are world travelers and big achievers are divorced and miserable, traveling to numb themselves.
Prime example of God taking something bad and making a blessing out of it. Thank you for sharing, Jim! Enjoying the pitter-patter rain of a first fall-like day on the first of fall, myself. 🙂
And thank you to the lovely and discreet lady who shared her testimony through Lori. Words of wisdom to consider, thanks be to God who is using this woman’s growing faith to help others who are struggling. Obedience is truly the better, yet often narrow, path. Thank you for the reminder!
God bless,
~D
We generally work to provide for our families. If we’re lucky, we also get some enjoyment and a sense of accomplishment, but it’s certainly not required and maybe not even all that common. Work is a means to an end.
That said, very few men or women care about their occupations when they are on their death beds. No. They think of family and many will likely regret that they didn’t spend more time with them. A person only gets so many oppprtunities with their children, for example, before they are grown and gone.
Regarding women who act like men, We already have plenty of men in the world. Why in the world do we need more? A woman’s true power lies in her femininity, and feminine virtues are just as powerful in their own right as male ones. The Lord made us different for a reason.
Two income families? Children rarely need the material things a second income might bring. They grow up just fine without piles of toys or the latest fads and might even turn out to be better adults with proper guidance from a stay at home mom. Save the career, if one must have one, for later. Family first!
This was a beautiful testimony!! 🙂
Thank you for sharing anonymous!
This was so encouraging to me today as I was catching up on your blogs, Lori. Thank you for posting it, and thank you so much to the lady who shared it!
Dear Anonymous,
Thank you for sharing. I too read the blog at first thinking it was crazy. This was back when the blog was Always Learning. I kept reading it because I was shocked at how against the culture the advice was. Now I know God kept reading it to teach me that THIS Is the way it’s supposed to be and the culture/world had me thinking differently.
I’m so glad to have learned what it means to be a woman/mother the way God wanted me to be and I’m learning more everyday. I’m glad God led you in the same way.
God’s ways are good, and acceptable, and perfect according to Romans 12:2. You had a soft and teachable heart to Him and His will for you life. Your family is blessed!
Please don’t assume that just because she hides her name that she is ashamed of what she does. Some of us out there don’t share our real name on any forum, social media, etc because of personal situations that are out of our control, NOT because we are keeping house. Type in a google search and you can bring up all kinds of things with your name attached, and some of us do not want that! I have been stalked by a estranged family member for 30+ years. I do not put my name out there because of this. Maybe this anonymous woman has the same issue, maybe not.