Are Homeschooling Mothers Arrogant and Not Intelligent?

Are Homeschooling Mothers Arrogant and Not Intelligent?

On a recent post about homeschooling (which had some great discussion in the comment section you may want to read), one comment written by Jessica, a mother of ten children, stood out to me that was in response to this comment made by Michelle.

“I am a teacher in a Christian school. The reason we chose not to homeschool is because we want our children taught by qualified instructors. I have a K-6 Certification with an endorsement in Middle School History. I am not arrogant enough to think I can teach my children all they need to know. My son’s Algebra II teacher is a math major, and his science teacher has a double major in chemistry and physics. They are much better qualified than me. His dad can still help him a little bit in math, but I have no idea how to do those math problems. Before you say all he needs is basic math, he wants to be a pharmacist so he will need higher math.

“I cringe when I see homeschool moms who can’t even use ‘your’ and ‘you’re’ or ‘there, they’re, or their’ correctly. One of my dear friends who homeschools posted on FB about a dresser ‘For Sell’ instead of ‘For Sale’. The children suffer because arrogant parents think they know everything. If one wishes to homeschool that is fine, but join a co-op group and work with other parents who have different abilities who just might have more knowledge than you.”

Here is Jessica’s reply: “I have so much to say on this subject and yet no time to really go in depth. Here are a few things, though, that I’d like to say, in response to some of the arguments against homeschooling:

“I am a homeschooling mother of ten. We have been homeschooling for going on 18 years now. We are constantly complimented on our children’s character (when we are out as a family we do get stopped by people often who want to tell us how refreshing it is to see such well-behaved children). We have been told time and again how much you can feel the love in our home when they visit.

“I don’t say this to brag or to be prideful; I say this to make a point about the family relationships that are a natural consequence of being together all the time as homeschooling affords. The numbers have proven homeschooling to be a superior form of education, so one only has to look at the statistics before arguing against it.

“However, academics are not our family’s reason for doing so, and so I mention that point only because it seems to be a moot point to me, yet it surprises me that there are those who are still in the dark about this. As far as the typos and misspelling issue – that is across the board. To narrow it to *only* or *mainly* homeschooling mothers is simply small-minded. I am often times typing on my phone which causes many errors and typos and since I do not A) have an editor to go back and make corrections or B) have the time to devote to doing it myself, then it will stay as it is, typos and misspellings and grammar errors and all. Especially if it’s only a comment or response. If I were writing a book or article or paper, that would be different. But a comment or Facebook post doesn’t always warrant my 100% effort in English grammar. I don’t have time for that.

“As a matter of fact, seeing how successful homeschooling has been proven to be, I find it’s a great testimony in favor of it that some mothers may struggle with their grammar. Because the majority of them learned their incorrect English grammar and spelling from their PUBLIC SCHOOL education, and yet are still raising and teaching children who excel in academics and life. In fact, there are so many first language English speakers who’s grammar skills are simply not up to scratch, and they might need even more education when it comes to English.

“As far as raising sons to be providers, a college degree does not guarantee that. That is a character trait more than an academic trait. That stems from hard work, the willingness to work, love for family, and the willingness to obey God’s commands – none of which are taught in the government schools.

“I don’t like to talk money, but because of the link Lori shared about jobs I will say that my husband makes well over that $70,000 a year with no college degree. He retired from the Navy last month and holds a civilian job with a government contractor. He is now taking college courses, mainly because he paid into his G.I. bill when he joined the military and he doesn’t want any of that college money to go to waste.

“Again, I don’t say that to brag at all. We have lived off of $30,000 take home pay with seven children on an enlisted man’s salary and have always had more than we needed. I say it because we have done our best to be obedient to God’s ways and He has ALWAYS provided for us, because He is faithful and can be trusted and His ways are ALWAYS right.

“And now, I’ve spent more time on this than I intended but I felt compelled to chime in I’m sure there are plenty of mistakes in my comment, but my children need me, my life duties are calling, and I don’t need to spend anymore time on my phone right now! Have a nice day!”

…bring them up in the nurture and admonition of the Lord.
Ephesians 6:4

14 thoughts on “Are Homeschooling Mothers Arrogant and Not Intelligent?

  1. Thank you for this!!! I was recently slammed for a comment I posted on Fox News about homeschooling because my cell phone caused a typo. I was told I shouldn’t be homeschooling as a result. The funny part was, they also had a typo in their rude comment to me! God has a sense of humor 😉

  2. I remember that original article and the responses. I will stand behind my response and also add a couple comments.
    1. I know many women like Jessica who have done a great job teaching the children God has given them. These kids are achieving great things in their lives. In fact many have gotten their college degrees in less than 4 years and for less than half of the cost of their peers. These young people are great assessets to the families (their wife and children), to their churches (having solid Bible teaching in their homes), and in the community (their jobs).
    2. I remember when I was in junior and high school years and bringing home my homework and my mother, a high school teacher in English and Spanish, would read over what the teachers wrote and correct the grammar. The worst were the so called English teachers. This was a big reason we chose to teach our kids at home.
    3. The biggest reason we chose to homeschool is that each child is unique and has unique needs and learning styles. The modern school, private or public, forces each kid into a single mold and expects all to function the way of the teacher/system as dictated by the experts. Each child is allowed to excel in the subjects that are good at and are helped, one on one, in the subjects they are struggling.

    The biggest problem I see with home schooling does not come from the secular world but our fellow Christians in our local churches. In fact many non-Christians perfer to teach their children at home for many of the same reasons we Christians want to teach our children at home. Concerns of violence and bullying. Concerns of curriculum. Concerns of holding back kids who want to excel thus causing them to get bored and turn off with school. Concern of the school’s being filled with children who are mentally unstable for what ever reason and the schools and dicisplining the trouble makers as needed.

    There are many in the church who are like Michelle who come up with every reason not to take on the responsibility that God has given them as parents. First instruct their children in the ways of the Lord, and part of that instruction teach them to read the Bible so that the Word of the Lord is in their heart. Second teach the children how to be productive members of society – first church community then outside of the church community. Too many people sit back and let others, so call experts, tell them what to do. We see it the leadership of the church where they just sit and listen to the pastor without being Bereans and study scripture to confirm the truth of what the speaker in the pulpit is stating and then challenging the pastor to teach with more meat. They also sit back and are not active in changing their community by not voting, speaking, or even running for office standing on God’s principles being applicable for all in their towns, villages, cities, counties, and states. Let the expert do that since they have been trained to do that.

  3. I never thought I’d quote the HuffPost but here is a list of homeschoolers they published. https://m.huffpost.com/us/entry/3806317/slideshow/313299
    I’ve seen other lists which include Beatrix Potter who wrote, “Thank goodness I was never sent to school; it would have rubbed off some of the originality.”

    What is indeed unintelligent is speaking in ignorance. Home educated children average out to higher test scores than public and private school students. The last statistics I heard (about 4 years ago) the public school students were at the 50% level on standardized tests ( which makes since because the standardized tests were made to be set at the average for public school success. The private school scores average in the 70% range If you are a homeschool student whose parents do not have a high school degree the average is 84%. If your parents have a college degree your average is 85%. If your parent has a teaching degree 86%. So the difference of test scores with degreed/non-degreed homeschool parents is negligible.

    But of course there are duds. There are those homeschool parents who leave their students ignorant of God and the world around them. Just because Jessica thinks she would fall into a low success category for homeschool results does not negate the fact that she would be an anomaly. For her to extrapolate her potential lack of homeschool success to the whole homeschool community is absurd. It is also closed minded of her to think that typos or spelling/grammatical errors in a casual forum is a marker for those who should not homeschool,

  4. I’ve been called negative things for being a homeschool mom, but “arrogant” is a new one! Haha! I guess I’ve figured that with advancements in technology, we can look up anything we need to know from the comfort of home! But maybe it’s not that easy. My kids are all still young, so we haven’t bumped into complicated academics yet.

  5. I am also a homeschooling mother of 10 children. In my travels i have come across more typos over the most simple words. And no, it wasnt a slip of the finger. And most of those typos were made by children in the public school system or young adults/adults who have come out of it. And if you care to get into demographics the worst are Americans for typos. ( Dont get me wrong, id love to go there someday and explore, my mother lives there and my stepfather is American.) But it is what it is. I have also seen a growing habit in Australian and international journalists make errors when speaking and writing an article. Whats worse is in those cases its double checked by an editor before it goes to press.
    The issue is not isolated to homeschoolers. Its across the board (or, to get up ones nose, bored) its just that homeschoolers are an easy target. When what society is taught as being normal starts to fail, they always look for the vunerable, easy target to place the blame on as the reason their system is failing. The public system is failing, so they blame homeschoolers for the reason its failing. They wont look at themselves and ask, ‘ where have we gone wrong?’ Someone else is always to blame.

    1. Diamond in the Rough – Is the Australian government supportive of homeschooling families? Here in New Zealand they sure don’t make it easy. It’s possible, but not easy, especially at high school level. We’ve been looking into it recently due to ongoing bullying issues in the public high school here but the hurdles the government puts in the way seem insurmountable right now.

      1. It varies from state to state. Here in Victoria, you need to register with the vrqa, amd submit a detailed learning plan with your application. Which must be approved. 28 days is needed to wait for approval. Then the child is subject to random inspections of the learning environment and curriculum, but they are only allowed to investigate 1 child per year. And you are not obligated to let them thru your doors. If they enter your home without your permission they can be arrested and charged. They must obtain a warrant.
        You may want to check out these websites for more info:
        https://home-ed.vic.edu.au
        https://www.homeschoolingdownunder.com

  6. Oh how I wish I would have been homeschooled. I was a born homemaker. I didn’t get the affection or acceptance from my parents. My Mother got into the feminist movement. The problem I had in learning in public school is that it pushed academics and those who excelled were the popular students. The emphasis was put on learning. That is good. I didn’t excel so I missed that atta girl too.

    For my situation I was hungry for love. When I set my head to learning I excelled. In high school I was told I needed to be in college. I found that distasteful. My hunger was for family, home, love, security. I don’t give diddly squat if a person has bad grammar….if they have a kind heart and glorify the Lord. I have been asked for several years to write about my life. I even have a woman that will publish the book. Problem is that it takes away from life. I still crave close relationships. I have one with Jesus. I have many wonderful friends. So if’n you will excuse me I need to spell out my daily schedule and be gone. 🙂

    1. I just told my mom yesterday that I would have loved being homeschooled by her. She is old and in her last days but she was such a wonderful mother to me. I would have loved being home full time with her. She was my best friend and my greatest confidant growing up.

      It sounds like you do have a great book in the making, Flicka! I sure would love to read it. You have gained a lot of wisdom through your suffering. Our Lord is good at working this in us.

  7. I think the word that better describes homeschooling families is defensive. I understand that it is hard to constantly explain and educate other people about what homeschooling is and is not. If he wants to truly legitimize homeschooling then we must let people know us by the fruits of our labor. By that I mean children who are well educated. It is not enough that they are obedient or God-fearing but that their home education was a superior education.

    My husband is a math professor at a community college and he has told me many times about homeschooling students who do not have the academic foundation to handle collegiate level math. He’s also observed homeschooling students who lack the study skills and executive functioning skills to handle being in college there so used to being able to set their own schedule it’s difficult function in a Collegiate environment where they have to adapt to different schedules. He and I are very committed to really giving our children a rigorous education and holding our children to high academic standards.

    1. Lila’s comment reminded me of my college days, so I decided to chime in. I am a homeschool/college grad and speak only from my own experience. I felt academically prepared for college for one simple fact: my parents taught me to be an independent learner.

      Furthermore, I met so many public school students in college (who made straight A’s in high school) that could not function because they had been spoon-fed their entire education. It was so sad to see those students blame the professors when really it was simply a lack of self-discipline and/or study skills.

      Lastly, but most importantly, my mother always told me that God was most important and that she would rather we be ignorant and steadfast and strong in Him. My mom struggled in public school and was encouraged by her guidance councilor to NOT attend college. She always felt like she was failing us academically. But she had faith in God and knew it was best to teach us at home. She focused on teaching us good study skills, self-discipline, and to love learning.

      So to all those homeschool moms who might read Lila’s comment and be discouraged–don’t be! Work hard to teach your children academics, but more importantly put God first in their education no matter what and He will bless you and your children.

      Please don’t critique my grammar or you will find plenty of mistakes. I am blessed with 3 wonderful boys (age 4 and under) and I don’t have to time or energy like I had in college to proof-read my writing 3-4 times 😉

      Be encouraged,
      Rebecca

  8. I believe communication is wonderful, until people start taking the comments as a personal affront. My niece was homeschooled by high school graduate parents, who are also christians, me niece graduated with a 4 year degree and an A average. Individuals are just individuals. Homeschooling or public does not work for everyone, this is true in every aspect of life. I do agree that it should be God first and then through the obediance that is aquired will instill the desire to do well in all subjects. I am thrilled that we as a country still have the right to decide what is best for our own.

  9. I disagree with The first comment given on the blog post. I was an adopted (1 of 4), Military, Christian, homeschooled children. My mother and father are incredible people and so humble. To claim that mothers or homeschooled families are arrogant is far from the truth.

    We are not arrogant when we say we don’t want our children to be influenced by the world around them in a public or private education system. We want to homeschool them because we feel that, while we may not know everything, we know what is best for our children. We are told to be IN the world but not OF the world. We are learning just as our kids are.

    To say you cringe when children can’t spell the right way is not on the parents. It’s not on the child either. Different people lean at different times. Education doesn’t necessarily mean they aren’t going to be successful. I agree with what Jessica said. I’m proud of my homeschooling years. Why? Because I look at kids my age that go to private or public schools and they talk terribly and look and dress the same too. The language and social actions concerning those younger or older is a barrier for them.

    I am so proud of my mother who was an elementary teacher before she homeschooled her children, and my father who is a medical professor now and a full time doctor for a civilian plaza and part time for the military. Both of my parents are incredible people. Sure they make mistakes but everyone does. Not just homeschoolers. So… would I do it again or even homeschool my future children? ABSOLUTELY YES!

    Thank you mom and dad.

    Your proud son,
    Caleb

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