Desires and Passions Well Regulated

Desires and Passions Well Regulated

Young women’s desires and passions are not well regulated these days. Whatever they “feel” like doing, they do and they are  easily led by their emotions. I had one woman comment on Trey’s homemaking post and she wrote this, “I hate the man who wrote this. I do as I please.” I wrote back, “You act like a child. Were you not taught to not hate others you disagreed with? Were you not taught that the world doesn’t revolve around you and you can’t always do as you please?” She deleted her comment but this was her gut reaction to reading someone’s words she disagreed with.

Many places in the New Covenant, we are told to be sober which is the opposite of being ruled by our desires and passions as was this woman. It doesn’t just mean to be sober-minded (which I will come back to) but also to not be filled with alcohol. Older women are told to not be “given to much wine” and teach younger women to be “sober.”

Whether or not Christians should drink alcohol has been debated for hundreds of years so I am just going to give my opinion as I see from reading the Bible. Jesus was not against drinking wine since His first miracle was to change water into wine. Wine was also used to symbolize Christ’s blood during the Passover supper. However, we do have some guidelines in how we are to drink it.

Paul writes that we can drink A LITTLE for our stomach’s sake. Drink no longer water, but use a little wine for thy stomach’s sake and thine often infirmities (1 Timothy 5:23). Older women are told to NOT DRINK MUCH wine. The aged women likewise, that [they be] in behaviour as becometh holiness, not false accusers, not given to much wine, teachers of good things (Titus 2:3).

In describing elders in the church, the Bible states they are NOT to be given to wine (I Timothy 3:3) while deacons are not to be given to much wine (1 Timothy 3:8). Older men are commanded to be sober (Titus 2:2). In 1 Timothy 3:11, Paul commands wives to be sober. God intends for His people who are called by His name to be sober in everything!

From Barnes’ Notes commentary, we learn that “sober” means “instruct them to have their desires and passions well regulated, or under proper control.” This includes all desires and passions. We should be known as women having self-control in word, deed, and actions, and doing what is according to godliness, not responding from our desires and passion.

The following question was asked to the women in the chat room and not one of them said they were offended by it since they are women who have soft, teachable hearts to the ways of the Lord and are sober-minded: “When I hear godly preachers/teacher exhort us to work hard, keep our home as neat as a pin, declutter, live simply within our means, be content, be thankful, obey our husband, don’t overeat, only drink a little or no alcohol, discipline our body towards godliness, spend time with our children, etc. it has always challenged and convicted me and I love it! So many women are offended by many of these things, however. Are you?”

Matthew Poole in his commentary wrote this about being sober: “Young women, especially conversing amongst heathens, are prone to be light and airy, and over frolicsome, following the heat of their youthful temper, and forming their converse after the manner of others; which is a behaviour, though it may suit their youth, yet if they be Christians it will not suit their profession, which calls to them for more gravity: speak to them that are aged to mind to be sober.”

Wow! We sure see this today, don’t we? Many women follow the heat of their youthful temper and have never learned to keep their passions and desires under control. The culture defines their behavior instead of godliness and the ways of the Lord. They have not left their childish ways behind. “When I was a child, I spake as a child, I understood as a child, I thought as a child: but when I became a man, I put away childish things” (1 Corinthians 13:11).

 Mothers, do you know how much easier you make it for your children when you are careful and consistent in the discipline of your children? If you discipline and train them as children, they will most likely grow up to be disciplined adults who have control over their desires and passions and are sober in everything. This not only benefits their future family but culture, too.

That they may teach the young women to be sober, to love their husbands, to love their children.
Titus 2:4

4 thoughts on “Desires and Passions Well Regulated

  1. The only thing with alcohol is that it can destroy your witness. Also, when we are around those who have trouble with it we are harming them. People have no idea how much you are drinking or why. You are drinking. It seems best to just leave it alone all together in order to not be misunderstood or hurt someone whom it could be a problem for.

    1. Absolutely 100% right.

      I’m glad to hear someone else say that.

      If you care about the people who have trouble with alcohol, don’t drink yourself!

      My husband had no trouble quitting alcohol because I don’t drink.

      I think the truth is people care more about Being Morally Superior (‘I drink but I don’t have a problem’) than about their friends or family…or even worse…they just don’t care about their friends or family.

      1. That’s actually one of the ways I got my husband to stop drinking…

        I forgot exactly the wording but basically I sent an email early on in the relationship with a single very cryptic sentence that encapsulated this attitude…

        None of these people care about you. If you die of a heart attack they will care for all of five seconds and then move on. They just want someone to drink with…a body…you’re replaceable and interchangeable.

        I also learned that my husband drank because his friends/family are not so great. Whenever I’m around his family or friends and say silently in my head ‘If I have to sit here for one more minute…I need a drink’ …my husband will reach for the bottle of alcohol.

        If you come from a divorced family and you are loyal to maybe people you shouldn’t be loyal to…The only way to make it through the evening is with the bottle.

        So for years my husband dealt with people by numbing his emotions…so then he could stay ‘loyal’ to them when they do not deserve that type of loyalty.

        My husband had a long-term relationship before me (he’s my one and only) and in every photo he is drunk and every photo breaks my heart to see him with that silly drunk happy—but not really happy—vacant smile. My dad said that’s a common tactic women use…keep the men drunk so they never realize that their life is slipping away. I see that tactic with the stepmother and husband…oh Honey…have Another Glass of Wine!!! You won’t ever have to deal with your conscious again!

        Yeah it’s horrible…

  2. Agree with commenter #1. We dont drink alcohol amd if people want to drink it, they bring their own. However they risk being asked to leave if it gets out of hand. If people want to smoke, they do it outside the house and they are to clean up after themselves. We also will not buy alcohol for anyone else. I get really offended though, when people know we dont drink and its obvious im pregnant and they offer me a drink. Ive had ‘christians’ do this. I just think ‘where are youre morals?’. Wine in the bible was grape juice. Todays alcohol was traditionally used as Gods weed killer. Will never touch the stuff.

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