Grandmothers Need to Be Keepers at Home

Grandmothers Need to Be Keepers at Home

Older women are told to teach young women to be keepers at home but what about grandmothers? Are they to be keepers at home? Here is how God’s Word defines the role of older women:

The aged women likewise, that they be in behaviour as becometh holiness, not false accusers, not given to much wine, teachers of good things; That they may teach the young women…(Titus 2:3, 4).

Well reported of for good works; if she have brought up children, if she have lodged strangers, if she have washed the saints’ feet, if she have relieved the afflicted, if she have diligently followed every good work (1 Timothy 5:10).

I don’t see anything about having careers or living as one pleases or for pleasure in these verses. Yet many older women go back to careers once their children are raised, go on vacations, and keep themselves doing things they want to do instead of what God has instructed them to do.

In the dim and distant past
When life’s tempo wasn’t fast
Grandma used to rock and knit
Crochet tat and baby-sit

When the kids were in a jam
They could always count on Gram
In the age of gracious living
Grandma was the gal for giving

Grandma now is in the gym
Exercising to keep slim
She’s out touring with the bunch
Taking clients out to lunch

Driving north to ski or curl
All her days are in a whirl
Nothing seems to stop or block her
Now that Grandma’s off her rocker

– Anonymous

Right after my children were born, my mother came and lived with us for two weeks. She did this for my sisters, too. When I was so sick all of those years, she was the first one at my home to help in any way she could. My first baby had colic so when I was overwhelmed, I would go to my mom’s home and she would take over walking and rocking the baby. She’s always been there for us and this is the way it should be. I have been blessed and am thankful for a mother like her.

My youngest daughter just had that cute baby in the picture. The day she was in labor, I was on a plane to go take care of her and her family. She has a toddler and a busy husband. I cooked, cleaned, rocked, shopped, babysat, and did whatever she needed from me. I wasn’t able to do this with her last one because I was so ill but it’s a huge blessing that I felt well enough to go this time. Her life would have been much more difficult if I wasn’t there to help.

My older son and his family live near us. We babysit their three children whenever they need us. They went on a week-long trip and we watched their children. When they are sick, I will cook them meals, help clean, or even bring the children to my home so my son and his wife can have time to get well.

This is God’s intended purpose for older women and many young women are suffering because their mothers and/or older women aren’t available to help them. Yes, grandmothers need to be keepers at home, too.

For, brethren, ye have been called unto liberty; only use not liberty for an occasion to the flesh, but by love serve one another.
Galatians 5:13

23 thoughts on “Grandmothers Need to Be Keepers at Home

  1. Thank you for this! I have been reading your posts for awhile now and have learned so much…mostly that I have been deceived! My children are gone and I went back to work after 10 years of being at home. Of course we have gathered some debt now and I feel I need to help pay for it. Working was a struggle from day one because of physical reasons mostly. I am exhausted and in pain everyday. When I come home I have nothing left to do the things I need to do. My husband has been supportive and helps so much but he shouldn’t have to. I’ve been torn with the idea of quitting my job because of the debt we have accumulated. I would appreciate any comments or thoughts you may have.

    1. Hi Audrey,

      You most likely can save more money by being home full time and living frugally to pay off the debt slowly. Read Laine’s Letters for ideas:

      http://lorialexander.blogspot.com/2014/04/50-ways-we-paid-off-her-house-with-one.html

      The Tightwad Gazette is also another excellent book! By the time all of the expenses for you working outside of the home are totaled up and taxes are taken out, I doubt you actually bring that much home.

        1. Being home full time with one’s children is WAY more important than any money one can make since no one can replace a mother in a child’s life but others can replace a woman in a career. Children’s eternal souls far outweigh everything else.

  2. I like to call myself, A Stay At Home Grandma.

    I have 7 grandchildren ( one more on the way).

    I struggled with time and purpose for a few years. Then I was taught that my “job” is my home!

    Now, when my daughter needs help, she knows she can call on me! Others have called me for help and I’m willing to serve.

    I’m not retiring from the most important job I ever had!

  3. Audrey, blessings to you my dear sister in the Lord! I too was faced with many things you are facing down right now, so with a kindred heart I want to share what the Lord did, not me, the Lord! I knew I was meant to be at home, but I had no way to get their on my own. So I started to pray and I kept returning to Titus 2. Now I thought I had to replace my income verbatim and some how pull of a home based income. So I kept praying actually hoping the Lord would help me think of one I could walk right into, (I brought in a third of our income!), And replace mine. But I couldn’t and time went by, but I kept praying that the Lord would make a way. Well my company pulled out if the state we lived and I respectfully went to my husband and asked if I could try to get a small business off the ground, he was hesitant, but said OK, I wasn’t going to push, but since he allowed that open door I went through it. I prayed for wisdom on spending, thinking I was going to get this small business up and going, I honestly tried for over a year, I was smart enough to spend only a small amount to get it up and running and no debt. Well that didn’t fly so I tried another, meanwhile the Lord was honoring my being frugal, I didn’t buy anything unnecessary, and prayed for wisdom and provision at every turn. I can’t explain it but the Lord provided. So I would go to the Lord and tell him straight up your desire to be home, and that you have no way to get there. Then be open to his promptingss of frugality etc. If he lays on your heart a way to make a bit from home great if not trust him for the whole of your finances. Ask for wisdom on timing to present your request to hubby, if he is not in favor simply keep praying, the Lord is ultimately in control of everything, he blesses when we want to obey scripture, such as Titus 2. Mean while I will be praying for you, I consider it a blessing since I have asked the Lord to bring women into my life who want to be home, so I can pray for them! Blessings!

  4. This makes me so sad. I wish more women would read this!! I have 8 children and while my mother and MIL *will* help if I really asked, it is not something I would ask for often, as they both work and run successful businesses. My MIL will help me if I need it, but she is usually quite busy with her church affairs, her business and her other grandchildren (their mom works full time). It takes months to get her to agree on a sewing date, etc. for my daughters.

    1. This is very sad and common, unfortunately. Many older women feel like they have done their duty and can now be seekers of pleasure but we are instructed to live our entire lives as living sacrifices in service to others; for this is how we love others as Christ modeled to us.

  5. I would love to see more older women taking the time to volunteer there time at food pantries, pregnancy centers etc. This is very beneficial for the kingdom of God too.

  6. Oh, Lori – PREACH IT!! This is so needed! Even in the Christian homeschool community, the practice of women heading back to the workforce as soon as their children graduate is SO prevalent. This is, frankly, a sign that we Christians still do not respect the role of homemaker, because women feel intense pressure to “do something” with their time now that they have “nothing to do” – i.e. just a home and husband to care for. I have had several women in my life whose help I greatly desired (in terms of mentorship), and each of them headed back to the workforce and made it clear that they were unavailable because they were now too busy. It is so incredibly bad, lonely, and isolating for young mothers to be left to flounder on their own. If one wants to know why the younger women of today are (in general) such poor mothers, a great deal of it can be blamed on older women who have not made themselves available to teach, help, and mentor as Titus 2 commands!! Thank you so much for bringing this up!!

    (And I love that poem – YES. There is NOTHING attractive to me about an older woman who is fit, hip, and stylish, and living like a 20-year-old. I adore sweet older women who are actually owning their later years and being the sweet and wonderful grandmothers that God has designed us to be in our older years.)

    1. I feel sorry for those older women who are not investing their lives into the younger generations of women and children, Diana. They are missing out on God’s perfect will for them and no one benefits from this, especially the younger women and children. Yes, this is why so many of them are suffering.

  7. Curious on your perspective:
    What do you think of the grandmas who leave their job or are at home and watch their grandchildren full time, or 3 days these grandchildren and 2 days these grandchildren . Their children are working to buy a house or buy more.

    1. Grandmas are the best substitute for mothers but they are still not the mothers, Rosa. No one can replace a mother in a child’s life, not even a grandmother and the mothers are missing out in their children’s lives.

      1. I agree 100%. I was raised by my grandmother whom I loved so very much. I do feel my mom and even me missed out. I understand at that time the reasoning but I don’t fully agree. In my extended family, this is what my cousins are doing: raising their grandchildren while their children work part time, going from one child to another everyday.

  8. I was a stay-at-home homeschooling mom for 17 yrs. I’m a mother to 2 daughters. Daughter #1 is 24 & has been married 3.5 yrs & a momma. Daughter #2 is 21 & soon to be married this June. I’m also a grandma now to a 1 y/o granddaughter. I just went back into the workforce last year when I got a job at a local women’s retail store. I feel a pull to be at home but my biggest issue now is fear. I’m so afraid of the future! What constantly goes through my mind is ‘what if something happens to my husband and I can’t support myself bc I haven’t worked in so long & have no real education other than a GED?’ I tell myself that I NEED to learn how to hold down a job outside the home bc what if something happens to him & one day I need to support myself?

    FEAR! How do I get past these thoughts after being a stay-at-home mom for all these years, going back to work but feeling a pull to be at home?

    1. God commands us to not fear but to trust and obey Him, Miki, so you must renew your mind with God’s truth. Begin memorizing verses about trusting the Lord and putting your confidence in Him.

    2. Did you ever consider the verse, “Religion that God our Father accepts as pure and faultless is this: to look after orphans and widows in their distress and to keep oneself from being polluted by the world” James 1:27

      I always figure that if anything ever happened to my daughter’s husbands (looking into the future) their father (and I) would take them in and help them with their families. If something happens to my husband, I know full well that my daughters or sons will care for my needs. If a woman is childless, it is the duty of the church to care for the widows. Being polluted by the world means turning to a mindset of independence and self-reliance. God created the body to be self-sustaining, not the individuals within the body.

  9. I overheard an older woman chatting with the dental hygienist while getting my teeth cleaned. She was talking about how her colleagues at her office just threw her a retirement/farewell party and also how her daughter was going through a divorce. I thought…those colleagues, at least most of them, will not remember her (I know that none of my colleagues ever reached out to me after I left the workplace–except for work-related issues or referrals, etc.). I also thought–how sad to spend most of your life toiling at an office where no one will really remember you…and how sad to not have invested your life in your own family! Now, I don’t know anything about this woman–maybe she did enter the workforce after her children were older. But I do know there are many many women who have spent most of their lives on their careers! I can’t imagine any woman on her deathbed wishing she spent more time on her career than with her husband and children!

    Meanwhile, the church sure could use more older women training the younger women and also helping out with congregational needs.

    Thank you for encouraging this generation of women to continue embracing their roles as mothers and homemakers even into old age!

  10. I am a mother to 10 children, 15 and under. My 7 youngest are 7 and under and my husband is in the military. My mom has been a career woman since I was 8. I was induced with many of my babies so my mom could be there because she had to go back to work. My youngest baby was born unwell and was in the nicu for a week. My mom wasn’t around because she had work. I had to hire girls from my church to help me with household tasks because my mom wasn’t available. It’s been a great cause of sadness for me that my own mother has put work first in her life. She has slowed down and is making more time for her family, but I now live across the country and she “no longer babysits”. It would such a blessing to have time away with my husband. It’s been over 8 years since we had a night away that didn’t include a hospital stay for the birth of a new baby. I feel worn out and could very much use a marriage “retreat”. I always tell my children that when they get married and have children, my full time job will be as a grandmother, ready to help in any way I can.

  11. Last year my daughter was pregnant and in her last semester in college and pregnant. Her husband was deployed to Afghanistan. My wife went and stayed with her for some 5 months to help out while she was expecting and after the baby was born.

    I’m so thankful I have a wife who would devote herself to that (the entire focus of her attention her whole life has been family) and that God provided the means for us to be able to do it.

Leave a Reply

Your email address will not be published. Required fields are marked *