It Must Be Okay To Be Promiscuous, Have Debt, and Be Covered with Tattoos?

It Must Be Okay To Be Promiscuous, Have Debt, and Be Covered with Tattoos?

For some reason, I was pondering the swift and negative reaction from the Christian community to my viral post “Men Prefer Debt Free Virgins Without Tattoos” yesterday (because it continues to receive a lot of traffic and comments) and a thought occurred to me. I wondered about all of the young women who were debt-free virgins without tattoos and their thoughts after seeing the reaction from the Christian community to this post. What was going through their minds? “Oh, I guess it’s not that important to be a debt-free virgin without tattoos. God will forgive me for all of these things if I decide to be promiscuous, rake up a lot of debt, and cover my body with tattoos. His grace and mercy covers all!” Yes, this is what young women most likely thought from the many Christians’ reactions.

This morning, I received this comment on that exact post and I thought it was perfect!

“Wow! Truth! It’s kind of shocking to read but unfortunately true. I am so glad Lori wrote this post as feminism is truly harmful to everyone involved. I know first-hand. At 17, I was very mature, quiet, shy, and ready to settle down. I wanted to get married, stay home, and have children. I was encouraged by everyone around me to go ‘live my life’. I needed to go to work to support myself, study, and have fun just to fit in.

“Very long story short, I ended up going down a very bad path that I deeply regret. I only got out of the destruction through meeting Christ and accepting Him as my Lord and Savior. At 25, I met my now husband and read the Bible only to find that there was indeed nothing wrong with the original me who naturally wanted to be at home, serve my family, and have a gentle, quiet spirit.

“Sadly after years of sin and pain, there was a lot of undoing to be the woman that God created me to be and there are some things that well, you just can’t undo. I don’t feel sorry for myself but I do see that feminism, especially in the Church, is seriously damaging and undermining God’s original created order that does not change. Women fight for all these rights that they think they want, however, the proof is in the pudding so to speak.

“The Christian friends and family I know who have a feminist worldly mindset are absolutely miserable! I would never want my daughter to live the life I did before getting saved and following the Word. I see young couples in Church who are ready to commit and be married only to be told to wait another few years  which usually means giving into temptation and living in sin which seems to be perfectly acceptable. Seriously, why would women want to be used up by passers by instead of having the love and security of a good husband? Women have abortions so that they can further their careers then later go through expensive fertility treatments because they left it too late. Seriously where is the wisdom in all of this!? God’s ways are perfect!”

Yes, God does forgive those who live promiscuous, debt-ridden lives. His grace and mercy cover all of our sins past, present, and future the moment we believe in Him BUT this doesn’t mean that older women shouldn’t teach the young women to be chaste, discreet, and not go into debt. It doesn’t mean that older women shouldn’t teach young women to not follow the ways of our culture but follow the ways of the Lord instead. It will spare them a lot of pain and scars.

Flee also youthful lusts: but follow righteousness, faith, charity, peace, with them that call on the Lord out of a pure heart.
2 Timothy 2:22

38 thoughts on “It Must Be Okay To Be Promiscuous, Have Debt, and Be Covered with Tattoos?

  1. It pains me women choose not to dress and behave in a lady like manner. Before I developed my conservative identity fully, I dyed my hair bright red! At the time in my naive youth, I thought that was fun, but luckily it was just a phase that passed. It took my mom saying to me that it made me stand out in a negative way to change my mind about it. Do I feel I did something very wrong? No. But I no longer embrace the counter-culture connotations of looking like that now I’ve matured. Tattoos, dyed hair funky colors, strange piercings, and such are not the pinnacle of evil by any means, but they do convey a counter-culture statement of defiance for more traditional straight and narrow society and virtues versus radical feminism for instance. In a world where the Left says it’s sexist to want women to be traditionally feminine and embrace their natural beauty, I think a woman who dresses and looks like a traditional woman makes her own statement to the world: I am NOT ashamed to be a traditional woman! Superficial looks are not the same importance by any means as what’s in someone’s heart, but how you look and present yourself to the world does matter in the messages you send about yourself…

  2. I’m genuinely curious as to what you think about women who went to college on scholarship and studied a female-centered profession, such as nursing, which is what I did. I have no debt from school, and work a weekend night shift (Sat-Sun nights) while caring for my home, husband, and child the rest of the week, since I’m useless the 24 hours I’m at work they’re asleep 🙂 You’ve got me thinking about what would happen to the hospital where I work if all the nurses with children didn’t work. Not at women with careers are high powered physicians/lawyers/CEOs. Do you believe nursing, a profession who cares for the sick and homeless, is against the will of Jesus, and that women who are fortunate enough to have flexible schedules and work while our family sleeps?

  3. These articles are wonderful! I can completely relate. I chose not to go to college because as a teen I found myself pregnant. After having him I prayed and asked the Lord to bring me a good man and let me have a good life. Immediately he brought me my husband who adored my son. That was 25 years ago! I’ve been a stay at home homeschool mom and now have 4 kids! My 25 year old now wants the woman you describe, no college, no tattoos, and a solid family up-bringing! Where are these woman?

  4. I could be wrong but it seems to me that the tattoos part is a little out of left field. Virginity makes sense for pregnancy and STDs and all that emotional involvement with someone who doesn’t stay, debt is obvious, plus the Bible mentions both. But tattoos seem harmless. Maybe slightly low class looking depending on what you get and where, but I’ve never read anything in my bible to convict me that they’re wrong.

  5. Hi Kelly,

    Wondering what would happen if all of the nurses who have children went home is a straw man argument since it will never happen. What would happen IF this were to happen (which it won’t) is that children would have their mothers home full time! There are plenty of young women who aren’t married or those who don’t have children who could fill the void and even men can be nurses. I have had some before!

    Concerning your last question, of course we are to care for the sick and homeless but our children and families are our first priority. If you want to remain being a nurse, it’s your choice but I do know that it’s exhausting to have to be on your feet for 12 hour shifts two days in a row. I know I couldn’t do it. (I don’t understand why they make nurses work so many hours in a row any ways.) You must understand that I am teaching what God commands that I teach: that women be keepers at home. There is not one woman in the Bible who left her children for hours with someone other than herself and worked for a boss. But if this is what you and your husband have decided to do, it’s between you and the LORD. I will continue to teach young women what God has commanded that I teach them.

  6. So true. The hatred I perceived in response to your viral post exposed a lot of hearts. They were like Satan in the garden questioning God’s good and perfect way saying, “Did God REALLY say not to eat of the fruit”? Yes God can redeem all things just as he is making a new heaven and new earth after Satan succeeded in getting Adam and Eve to ignore God’s Word. But consider all the death and heartache we are experiencing as we wait here on this fallen earth. Consider the multitude of unrecoverable lost souls in eternal damnation that won’t be able to enjoy that new heaven and new earth. There is a real loss for disobeying God’s Word whether or not God redeems it. That truth should be stated clearly in the church.

    I can understand the world making excuses and minimizing the destruction of sin, but not those who take on the name of Jesus. Be sure, this is what every single person was doing who argued against that post. They were minimizing the destruction of sin and they were causing others to sin.

    I’m sure they would wonder how mere words could “cause” others to sin but that is all Satan used in the garden “mere words”. That is what Satan used on Jesus when he tempted Jesus in the wilderness, mere words”. Words have the power of life and death. Your words were life as they recalled the Living Word. Like Satan with Jesus, their words were death. They twisted God’s Word and used His Grace to minimize sin just as Satan misused God’s Words while speaking to Jesus to tempt him.

    I truly hope these Christians who responded negatively to your post open their eyes and realize they were batting for the wrong team.

  7. Yes, and as godly women, we are called to be discreet, shamefaced, and modest which means we don’t draw undue attention to ourselves by the way we dress, mark up our bodies, do our hair, or by the clothes we wear.

  8. I still have hundreds of comments from that viral post, Diana, but I no longer want to go through them since most of them are highly negative and critical, so it was refreshing to wake up this morning and see this wise and insightful comment!

  9. Thank you for your kind reply. It’s been nearly 8 years I’ve been working so I’m used to the exhauation, plus it’s simply only 2 nights! We work long hours to provide continuum of care. I was MUCH more exhausted with a newborn and not working! 🙂 It’s not a straw man argument when higher education is frowned upon and marriage and children at a young age are required of women-so these single women without children wouldn’t exist because they’d all be married and homeschooling by 21. Of course men can be nurses-I currently work with many of them. I’m surprised you suggested this since nursing historically is a feminine profession. I’m not tending to my home or caring for my family while I would otherwise be asleep, so what is the point to be home at that time?

  10. The point is to be well rested in order to care for your home and family so you wouldn’t have to be “used to the exhaustion.” The point is to be a home full time as a keeper at home as God requires young women. Higher education isn’t frowned upon by most so I am not sure why you wrote this. What I teach is only taught by a small remnant so it is a straw man argument. There will always be plenty of female nurses! But as I previously stated, you are free to live your life as you please. It’s only between you and the LORD.

  11. I watch a YouTuber named Katie Emmerson who made a response video to your viral post. I was saddened to see that she took great offense at your message. BUT, she took it the wrong way. She said that (according to your article) if you aren’t a virgin, have debt or tattoos, that you’re no longer worth it, already done for, no Grace for you. I think she missed the word ‘PREFER’ in your title. Not that men won’t marry a girl that has tattoes or debt, but that they would prefer one who doesn’t.

    She really is a sweet girl and I’ve watched her for years and she loved Jesus. But she took it the wrong way, as many, many other women did.

  12. Modesty means more than just clothing, but it does definitely mean dressing with dignity not showing your body to the world and wearing modest feminine clothing is both a sign of your embracing your God given role as a woman and a beautiful example to others.

  13. My little one sleeps really well at night and has done from an early age. But when she was about 5 years old, she went through a stage of having bad dreams. We never understood what triggered it, she would wake around 1 am and would be whimpering, sometimes crying fully and I would go in to her to soothe her back to sleep. Reading this question of what’s the harm in being out at work whilst my family are asleep made me think back to this. I am so very thankful that I am home full time 🙂

  14. I also wonder what IF all the female nurses were able to stay home? Wouldn’t that mean that there are wives and mothers in the families of these patients to care for them? Just a thought. I also believe the whole medical system is a business model more than “health care” but that is a different topic.

  15. It seems to me that most Christians who were critical of my post didn’t even read it! They simply read the title and wrote or recorded their response since you’re right, they didn’t understand what I was trying to say at all.

  16. I work in an ICU with fresh heart and lung transplant patients, so unless these wives and mothers are equipped with life-support machinery, medicines, and surgeons to be at the bedside in a whim in case of a complication isn’t the case in my unit 🙂 Nursing isn’t all hugs and hand holding when a patient is severely ill.

    As for my child, they’ve bonded much closer to their father than me, mostly likely because of post partum depression. Lori, I wish you would write a post about Christian women who struggle with post partum depression/anxiety and how this affects their relationship with their child.



  17. I think tattoos fall under this verse and admonition: “Everything is permissible for me,” but not everything is beneficial. “Everything is permissible for me,” but I will not be mastered by anything” (1 Cor. 6:12). No one is talking here about a discrete heart shape tattoo in a hidden spot, but one that is mastering a person as it is permanently scarring them in away they must hide it to work, or it keeps them from certain jobs, etc. Then one has to consider the potential health issues, and the issue of trying to get rid of it if 10 years later you hate it. So tattoos is an issue for young people to wisely consider and avoid so as not to be mastered by them.

  18. I am sorry you have struggled with this, Kelly. I never did so I don’t feel qualified to teach on this topic. I didn’t even know that it affects the relationship with the child. Do you have a hard time being affectionate with this child?

  19. Lori,
    Yes, absolutely. I was SO disenchanted with motherhood and upset, but having a family history of mental illness and an already anxious mind set me up for PPD. There are times when it’s not safe for a child to be alone with their mother because of post partum depression, and it’s unfortunately still somewhat taboo to talk about. I am glad you never personally experienced this Lori-perhaps a guest post from a Christian blogger? PPD can cause women to end their life if left untreated.

    I thank the Lord every day that I’m still alive and am grateful for His healing, but it’s been a long road (and frankly, working 24 hours out of the week is the absolute least of my worries.)

  20. My youngest daughter recently got married at age 20! I thought it was too young but you know what? She has blossomed into a beautiful, godly young wife! She loves being a wife and serving her husband. I have two other daughters waiting to meet their mates and i know their desire is to also be wives. My girls know several girls who they grew up with who are now on the feminist bandwagon. It’s very sad to see..and most of these girls were raised in a Christian home! They are being misled by society and have not followed God’s role for them.

  21. I personally don’t watch/read younger women when it comes to topics on Godliness. I love housekeeping and homeschool videos from about anyone but wisdom comes with age. Unless a woman has raised Godly children she hasn’t proven herself (her philosophy) worthy of my time.

  22. Excellent post, I myself have a tattoo that I got when I was 19 I am now 56, the only thing I can say is thank God it is small and is on my hip. I would feel really bad now if it would have been in a seeable place. To each his own but for me it was just stupid.

  23. The tragedy is that college followed by career followed by looking for the perfect match (since acceptance of a husband’s authority is unthinkable) leads to ‘getting together’ in fornication not marriage later then (maybe) marriage. All ever later and later until many women struggle to be ‘oppressed’ by motherhood.

  24. Leviticus 19:28 You shall not make any cuts in your body for the dead nor make any tattoo marks on yourselves: I am the Lord.

    God did not want His chosen people defacing their bodies with tattoos or piercings. Tattoos are like graffiti on God’s beautiful handiwork. I personally find all tattoos and piercings on women to be a turnoff. The tattoos defeminize women making them look like truckers or bikers in my mind. And the piercings always make the person look less intelligent to me. The more abnormal the piercing, the more I believe they’re prone to making stupid decisions.
    Men like me who have a high sex drive, don’t need women altered or disfigured to make them attractive. If it takes a “cool tattoo”(LOL) or a “freaky piercing” to make a man interested in you, he’s not interested enough. He will lose interest quickly, or find somebody with an even “cooler” tattoo later. Find somebody who is actually really attracted to you and appreciates the way God made you.

    Sorry ladies, but Men who are interested in women’s clothing, accessories, and “body art”, aren’t really interested in women. And men who are interested in women, don’t get attracted because of their clothing, accessories, or “body art”.

    High value men are competitive and want a trophy wife. A thoroughbred who looks like she would be too hard to catch for less able men. We usually don’t want to marry someone with tattoos and piercings that make them look “Easy”, or trashy.

  25. I was married at 20. Hubby and I have been married for over 16 years now.
    First baby at 21.
    Looking back, I probably was too young, and I would not encourage my own daughters to marry that young (although I would support them if that is what they wanted to do) but if I could turn back the clock, I probably would do it all again.

  26. My husband and I met 1 year and 1 month before we married. We were married when I was 18 and my hubby was 22. We just celebrated our 6 yr anniversary in september and we have 4 children.
    I believe there’s No such thing as too young (with in reasonable ages of course)
    I’ve noticed that the older people get the more standards they add to the list for a potential spouse to meet. It seems like these standards are usually unrealistic to expect considering the older you get the harder it is to find a spouse who is a believer and non feminist. Only my observations of course.
    Sometimes as a woman gets older she becomes more independent which may make it hard to find a spouse as well.
    When two people get married young they grow together!

  27. Thank you Lori! I feel honored to have my comment on your blog! I love your work and have been blessed by your teachings. The response to your post also made me think of Isaiah 5:20,

    Woe unto them that call evil good, and good evil; that put darkness for light, and light for darkness; that put bitter for sweet, and sweet for bitter! I feel this sums up the situation pretty well.

  28. You’re welcome, Megan, and that’s right. It’s only by knowing God and His Word that we are able to have wisdom and easily distinguish between good and evil and many want nothing to do with God, therefore, they lack any wisdom.

  29. Kelly,

    I had PPD with all my children, the worst of it being my first. I know what you mean about it affecting your relationship with your child. My first child and I didn’t bond as well as we should have. It was so bad I had to be medicated immediately and was having a bit of psychosis.

  30. All the post was saying is what some men prefer. We all prefer different things in our men after all. Why should guys be any different? I do not like men to be covered in tattoos, it is not my preference. It is not a condemnation issues. The other two things are moral issues and there are consequences to sexual impurity and debt, but even so no condemnation in the post. Remember, satan brings condemnation, so tell him to be quiet! The issue is with him not with the blog post Lori wrote,

  31. I was also ready to be a wife and have kids at a young age. And what I got also was the message to go out and work and go to college. (But nothing about what sort of man I should be looking for and no respect for what I felt naturally inclined to want.) Thankfully, after marrying an abuser but having a wonderful son, decades later I am now with a wonderful kind sweet Alpha-male provider. Strange what we have to journey thru and how it is so hard without that first relationship- a good relationship with G! Thankful that He was always there though and has led me to such a good life.

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