Women have often asked me about oral and anal sex. Most young women now shave their pubic hair. Some are into violent acts in the bedroom. Pornography has invaded the marriage bed. God commands that we keep the marriage bed undefiled. I love what Reverend Richard Steele wrote about this topic in the early 1700s.
“Maintaining Regular but Moderate Marital Sex. ‘Marriage is honorable among all, and the bed undefiled; but fornicators and adulterers God will judge’ (Heb. 13:4). Marital sex is designed to remedy impure affections, not excite them. You cannot follow every sexual folly you can imagine with your spouse, just because you are married. Owning wine gives you no permission to get drunk. Be moderate and sensible. For example, you might abstain for a time to give yourselves to prayer (1 Cor. 7:5). Even in marital relations we must show reverence to God and respect for each other. True love does not behave rudely.” (Reverend Richard Steele)
Then here’s what Pastor John MacArthur wrote about The Rape of Song of Songs:
“The language Scripture employs when dealing with the physical relationship between husband and wife is always careful—often plain, sometimes poetic, usually delicate, frequently muted by euphemisms, and never fully explicit. There is no hint of sophomoric lewdness in the Bible, even when the prophet’s clear purpose is to shock (such as when Ezekiel 23:20 likens Israel’s apostasy to an act of gross fornication motivated by the lust of bestiality). When an act of adultery is part of the narrative (such as David’s sin with Bathsheba), it is never described in way that would gratify a lascivious imagination or arouse lustful thoughts.
“The message of Scripture regarding sex is simple and consistent throughout: total physical intimacy within marriage is pure and ought to be enjoyed (Hebrews 13:4); but remove the marriage covenant from the equation and all sexual activity (including that which occurs only in the imagination) is nothing but fornication, a serious sin that is especially defiling and shameful—so much so that merely talking about it inappropriately is a disgrace (Ephesians 5:12).
“It’s frankly hard to think of a more appalling misuse of Scripture than turning the Song of Solomon into soft porn. When people can no longer read that portion of Scripture without pornographic imagery entering their minds, the beauty of the book has been corrupted, its description of righteous love perverted, and its role in sanctifying and elevating the marriage relationship deflected. That preachers would do this in public worship services is unconscionable.
“The truth is that God’s Word never gives specific instruction about the details of a married couple’s personal preferences in their sex life. Sermons that pretend to find such instruction, like the sexual preoccupation demonstrated in these assaults on the Song of Solomon, are more damaging than helpful—because they elevate the imagination of the preacher to a higher position of prominence and authority than the true revelation of God.” (John MacArthur, The Rape of Song of Songs)
Mark Driscoll is the one who reinterpreted Song of Songs to describe oral sex. He promotes anal sex in his marriage book too. No other theologian has ever interpreted oral sex in the Song of Songs until him. I know many women participate in anal sex with their husbands too. This is a dangerous practice. My dad who was a doctor his entire career said that it was like playing in the sewer. Why do you think homosexual men have so many diseases?
Oral sex was never talked about openly until President Clinton claimed that oral sex was not sex. After this, oral sex became rampant in the high schools. Now, young women shave their pubic hair. Why? Porn stars do and this is what men want.
Let’s STOP doing what porn stars do, women! No, you don’t have to submit to anal sex or anything sexually that you feel uncomfortable with or that is painful. Sex is supposed to be a beautiful exchange between a husband and his wife, not a mimicking of pornography. Even lingerie isn’t a biblical fact that women must wear even though it sure seemed like it to me when I was getting married. Most women who have ever existed never wore lingerie and had no problems with their sex lives.
Sex is supposed to be mutually enjoyed by the husband and his wife. No one needs lessons from porn stars. It’s should be a private activity where a couple learns together how to please the other and not talked about with anyone else. If a young woman is having trouble, she could consult an older, wise married woman for counsel.
It’s tragic how porn has infiltrated even Christian’s beds. Teach your sons to FLEE pornography. It’s a twisted evil that has invaded this land to destroy men, women, and marriages.
The wife hath not power of her own body, but the husband: and likewise also the husband hath not power of his own body, but the wife. Defraud ye not one the other, except it be with consent for a time, that ye may give yourselves to fasting and prayer; and come together again, that Satan tempt you not for your incontinency.
1 Corinthians 7:4,5