Raising Godly Children Isn’t Left to Chance

Raising Godly Children Isn’t Left to Chance

There are many who believe that parents don’t have much responsibility in the way their children turn out. They site a few godly parents whose children turned out to be rebellious and then site a few ungodly parents whose children turned out to live for Jesus. (There are absolutely exceptions but these don’t negate the responsibility that God has given to parents to do everything in their power with His power flowing through them to raise godly offspring.)

Many, when asked what they did to raise godly children, will respond, “It’s all God’s grace!” Is this the truth? Is there no hope that the way you raise your children will have a huge bearing on how they turn out?

Here’s a promise in God’s Word about this: “Train up a child in the way he should go: and when he is old, he will not depart from it” (Proverbs 22:6). One of God’s reasons for marriage is for parents to raise godly offspring (Malachi 2:15) and He commands parents to raise their children in the nurture and the admonition of the Lord (Ephesians 6:4). Why would He command this if it’s all left to chance how the children turn out?

In 1 Timothy 3:4, one of the qualifications for an elder in the church is this: “One that ruleth well his own house, having his children in subjection with all gravity.” How could an elder raise good, obedient children if it were all left up to chance? I know way too many godly families who have raised godly children to know that parents have a great deal to do with how their children turn out!

“Maybe you know Christian couples whose children turned out badly. Let me ask you a question: If the parents aren’t to blame, then who is? Is society to blame? Is God to blame? Does God tell us in His Word that children are a blessing only to make them residents of hell and fuel for the fire? Does God give us, as parents, children and then does He not give us the power to raise a godly heritage? Is God so impotent that He cannot fulfill the counsel of Proverbs 22:6 that if we train up a child in His way, they will turn out well?…The responsibility for raising godly children is on the parents.” (Carl Broggi)

Lukewarm parents will raise lukewarm children. Make sure you are a woman of the Word and a woman of prayer; for you will need a lot of wisdom and God’s abundant grace to raise your children in the nurture and the admonition of the Lord. God will graciously give you the wisdom and the strength to do so. Walk in love, walk in faith, and walk in the Spirit. God tells us that His commands are not burdensome. He will give you what you need to raise godly children, if you ask for it and invest your life into them.

God gives specific instructions to young women and tells them exactly how they must live in order to raise good and godly children in Titus 2:4, 5. They must be sober, love their husband and children, be discreet, chaste, good, keepers at home, and obedient to their husbands. If you are not obeying God in these areas that He’s commanded for you, the chances of you raising godly children are slim. (You can learn more about being a godly mother in my new book, Biblical Womanhood: A Study Guide.) You can’t expect to raise godly children if you’re blaspheming the word of God.

Parents must be very intentional about how they raise their children. They must teach them the ways of the Lord. Children must be modeled the ways of the Lord by their parents. The parents must discipline and train them diligently. They must love their children unconditionally and their children must know this. God tells us that mothers should be keepers at home for a reason. A mother needs to be with them continually when they are young leading them on the narrow path that leads to life because culture and Satan will try to lead them the opposite way.

And thou shalt teach them diligently unto thy children, and shalt talk of them when thou sittest in thine house, and when thou walkest by the way, and when thou liest down, and when thou risest up.
Deuteronomy 6:7

14 thoughts on “Raising Godly Children Isn’t Left to Chance

  1. And yet, yes, there is always the exception. My grandmother and grandfather were not Christians when they started having children. They were Amish, and my grandfather was a very abusive alcoholic. My grandmother eventually came to the Lord, and all 10 of her children are believers. On the other hand, my parents in law have raised all 5 of their children to serve the Lord, and yet, one of them, my brother in law, is a drug and porn/sex addict. He is a thief, a cheat, and a liar, and he seems to have no conscience. In spite of people trying to help him, he thinks everything is everyone else’s fault, and takes no responsibility for his actions. He has driven his parents old before their time. His siblings? All living for the Lord.

  2. Thank you Lori, this post is so timely for me. I’ve just been thinking about this the last day or so. I try to follow God’s ways. I love my husband and children. I submit to my husband and we get along very well. I teach my children at home and read the Bible with them daily. They are such a blessing to our marriage and are good buddies with each other (most of the time).

    But I’ve had that disquieting feeling you get when you are starting a renovation and everything is torn out and a mess or when you are organizing a closet and everything is pulled out and strewn everywhere. You know it could and should all be put back together much more beautifully than before but all the work to do it is ahead of you and a bit of uncertainty that it’ll actually get done also creeps in. I’ve been feeling like that recently and wondering also if Im on the right path for their curriculum and other activities. I asked my husband if he thought I was doing a good job and he said yes but this is a new path for both of us as we both went to public school and had a more “normal” upbringing (except for the fact that both our families were 3x a week church attendees). I suppose it is just a bit unsettling when you are in the minority with how you raise your family.

  3. Keep doing what you are doing, M! I had my children read great literature chosen by Sonlight Curriculum for a few hours a day and an hour of Saxon math. That’s it! If your children are good readers and good at math, most everything else comes easily to them. Make sure you make Jesus attractive to them by being loving and smiling at them often. Then they will grow up to want what you have!

  4. This can happen, unfortunately. However, those seeds of truth have been planted deeply within his soul so hopefully, one day he will come back to the truth he knows to be true. And your parent-in-law’s can rest assured knowing that they did what they could to teach him the ways of the Lord.

  5. Thank you so much for the encouragement. I don’t know why these doubts are forming so I appreciate your response to help me combat them. We actually started with Saxon and a simple school but things seem to have piled on a bit since our beginning.

  6. Thank you Lori, this is so encouraging and timely. It’s easy to get lost in the routine and mundane. Because of the repetitive nature of a mother’s duties, I often wonder if I am making a difference in the children’s lives. Thank you for the exhortation to keep obeying and to leave the outcome in God’s hands.

  7. Nick, I absolutely agree with your comment. Church youth groups can be no different than public school playgrounds. I know this from experience. My son was bullied at church youth group. One boy continually called my son a homosexual and another boy would kick and punch my son. The bullying did not go on for long because my son was quick to tell me and my husband.We quickly pulled my son out. We brought it to the youth pastors attention and he was quick to deal with the bullies by talking with their parents but parents said their children would never do that, so the two boys were never held accountable for their actions. My son has never and will never return to that church youth group.Bullying is one of the many reasons we homeschool if we won’t stand for that in school we were certainly not going to deal with that in church! My son was not the only target of the two church youth group bullies, the two bullied every kid, especially the other boys, I believe they called every boy in that youth group a homosexual and got away with it simply because their parents would not take responsibility for their children’s bad behavior.

  8. My understanding of the Amish is extremely limited but I was under the impression that they are Christians? And that alcohol is forbidden?

  9. So true!

    How depressing and defeatist to tell young parents, “Well, you never know how your kids will turn out.” Like it’s a flip of a coin! No, it’s not. You’re right – exceptions happen, but it’s also true that what you sow, you reap.

    The basics to good and godly kids are: be married before you have them, be serious about serving the Lord and teaching them His Word, be a stay-at-home mom and homeschool them, honor and respect their father, teach them to be obedient and respectful, and finally, have fun with them!

    The best books are definitely by the Pearl’s – ‘To Train Up a Child’ and ‘No Greater Joy’ – volumes 1, 2, and 3. ‘Raising Godly Tomatoes’ is really good too. And I’m looking forward to reading and sharing your books with my daughters!

  10. Many are Christian’s, but for a great, great many, simply being Amish is enough. When they turn 16 they are encouraged to “rumshpring” (run around) and experience life outside. This often involves drugs, alcohol, and sex. Many people do not know this. My dad was Amish until 11, and after they left, my grandfather stopped drinking. A cousin told him (after they were adults) that they dont like talking about Jeaus to much or reading the Bible to much.

  11. I know opinions are not worth much, but as an older mom I would like to share some advice with parents that depend on the church nurseries,kids church and youth groups to solely teach their children during church services. Over the years I’ve seen very good involved parents never take their babies and children into “grown up church” Children need to be in the same service with their parents on a regular basis to see grown ups enthusiasm for worshipping and learning about God. They do learn best by example. I see many parents at my church going through the anguish of the 18-20 something children leaving church for more entertaining things because the parents put them in church nursery as babies and they moved up through kids church into youth group and now that they are 18 and going to “grown up church” for the first time in their lives its just not entertaining enough so they have left church to find more entertaining things to do. Kids church and youth groups have some value but they should be supplemental only, they should not be the only church services our future generations ever see. Take your babies and children into “big church” more than you put them in nursery and youth group, teach them by example to go to big church with reverence,respect and excitement for worshipping God with fellow believers.

  12. HI

    I was raised in church, stayed in church, I know a family who was raised like me. ALL of there kids left church around the age of 16ish to 18ish. The boys did worse things than the girls. Its very sad how they turned out,, yet their dad is still a preacher,. I’ve known other churches who preach a lot of doctrine versus salvation, & when the kids grow up, they quit serving God. I dont understand, all the stuff I did without growing up. I wrote about it, dont know if it has posted yet. so bad living conditions, we would have been taken away, I still trust God & go to church. Preachers have said if anyone was going to stop serving God, it could be me bc it God takes care of us, why did we have to live in such conditions? I say, God didnt do it, my mom & dad could have done better. So in response to how I grew up, my hubby & I have decided we will NEVER let our daughter live in such conditions even if means he works to jobs & I work from home.

    The pastor at my dads funereal said we needed more dads & Men to be a Christian example. He said he had never met a more Godly. He said more young people would be ready to take over the respective roles in the church if more men lived the Godly life my dad did.

    God Bless

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