Why Do I Hate Women So Much – A Woman Asks

Why Do I Hate Women So Much – A Woman Asks


“Why do you hate women so much? Why do you hate that women now are allowed to be intelligent and get an education? Why do you hate that women can have jobs and earn their own money? Why do you hate that women are allowed to contribute to society? Why do you despise yourself so much that you must belittle every other woman? Is it because you see other women living the lives they want and envy their happiness? You have such an empty life, Lori.”

Yes, I am asked stupid questions like this. I pray the Bible verses that I use will one day convict their hearts and what I write won’t be foolishness to these women any longer. As Summer White wrote, “Lesson of the week for me: Christians have allowed themselves to be so shouted down and shoved into a corner by the world, that at least 50% of them have purchased the idea that Gospel truths should always be ‘nice’ and humor is always ‘rude’. Hey guys, the Gospel is offensive and ultimate foolishness to the world. And if the Gospel that you preach isn’t, it’s a watered-down Gospel that will save no one. Don’t let the world so scare you that you are afraid to speak the truth.” As one of my favorite older godly woman told me after she read my book, “I’m sure that Satan is very angry about this book…which makes me shout for joy!”

“Why do you hate women so much?” I don’t hate women. I hate what feminism has done and the devastation it has caused upon women. This is why I am obeying the Lord and teaching the hard parts of Titus 2:3-5 that offend many. I love teaching women to love and obey their husband, love and discipline their children, be sober, chaste, discreet, good, and keepers at home. I have seen the fruit of my ministry and it is good. Marriages are being restored; women are learning to be submissive and kind towards their husband; children are being raised to be obedient and a pleasure to be around; women are becoming modest, chaste, discreet, sober, and good through the Holy Spirit that guides and leads them.

“Why do you hate that women now are allowed to be intelligent and get an education?” I have never taught women to be dumb and get no schooling. Higher education, however, is expensive and burdens many with heavy debt which the Lord does not want us to have (Romans 13:8), plus I try to persuade women to marry, bear children (1 Timothy 5:14), and teach their children at home instead of strive for careers. As Paul Washer said, “Your children will go to public school and be trained for somewhere around 15, 000 hours in ungodly secular thought. And then they’ll go to Sunday School and they’ll color a picture of Noah’s ark. And you think that’s going to stand against the lies that they are being told.” Homeschoolers are winning spelling bees and math competitions since they are being taught better from home and have mothers who love and care for them more than any school does. Besides, “the wisdom of this world is foolishness with God” (1 Corinthians 3:19).

“Why do you hate that women can have jobs and earn their own money?” Titus 2:5 states that younger women should be “keepers at home’ so “that the word of God be not blasphemed.” Therefore, they are blaspheming (speaking evil about) the Word of God if they are not keepers at home. Women ought to take this seriously because most Christian women I know don’t want to speak evil of God’s Holy Word. I also hate the consequences of women working outside of the home. Children are being raised by people who are not their mothers. Marriages are falling apart since working mothers are exhausted after working all day away from home. I know since I did it the first two years of my oldest daughter’s life and was continually exhausted and wasn’t a good wife, mother, or teacher. I don’t like that women are now submitting to and obeying their bosses and have no problem with this but refuse to treat their husbands, their heads, in the same way. I hate that earning money and having more stuff is more important than raising their own children to many women today.

“Why do you hate that women are allowed to contribute to society?” The most important thing younger women who are married can do to contribute to society is to bear or adopt children and raise them to be godly, hard-working, and trustworthy adults. There is nothing that can compare to this. Nothing.

“Why do you despise yourself so much that you must belittle every other woman?” I belittle every other woman? It surely doesn’t take into account the heart-felt emails and comments I frequently get from those who have been blessed by my ministry. I don’t belittle anyone. Yes, I will at times point out error that someone else is teaching but this is important for us to know so we won’t fall into the errors of false teachers which the Word warns about.

“Is it because you see other women living the lives they want and envy their happiness?” Not at all. I have been married to one man and am growing older with him for almost 36 years and we are happier together than we have ever been. I have four grown children all walking in truth and are happily married. I have five precious grandchildren who I love dearly. I am blessed and want no other life. God is good to me.

“You have such an empty life, Lori.” No, I have a very full life. I have this ministry the Lord has blessed me with. I have written a book and ventured out into making YouTubes. I have the Lord and He has promised to never leave me nor forsake me. I have everything I need for life and godliness (2 Peter 1:3) and I pray you will find the joy in Jesus someday that I have. Blessings.

Every good gift and every perfect gift is from above, and cometh down from the Father of lights,
with whom is no variableness, neither shadow of turning.

James 1:17

29 thoughts on “Why Do I Hate Women So Much – A Woman Asks

  1. I don’t believe you hate women. However, I do think that you want them to fit neatly into a cute little box. From reading your blogs, it is clear that you want women to act one way, and one way only, based on two verses of God’s word.

    Women are not meant to be exactly the same, not cookie cutter, not robotic. I am a woman who works outside of her home. I am a woman who is striving toward a degree (with no debt, because of my military service). I am a woman who loves God, my husband, my children, and all people.

    1. Sarah,

      You are able to live your life any way that you want to live it because you are not accountable to me but I want to live my life by doing what the Lord has told me in His Word to do:

      “The aged women likewise, that they be in behaviour as becometh holiness, not false accusers, not given to much wine, teachers of good things; That they may teach the young women to be sober, to love their husbands, to love their children, To be discreet, chaste, keepers at home, good, obedient to their own husbands, that the word of God be not blasphemed” (Titus 2:3-5).

      This is the only direct command that He has given to older women so I dare not disobey it.


      1. First, thank you for both publishing my comment and your response to it. Yet I am still confused. It seems as though I am ‘disobeying’ (in your opinion), though I fulfill the checklist of Titus 2:3-5. Shall I deny the talents with which God has blessed me? Certainly not, for to do so would indicate that God made a mistake when He gave such gifts to a mere woman.

        I cannot disagree that you are free to teach whatever you like, as Paul commands older women to do. I also have the freedom in Christ to create beautiful items, minister to the poor in spirit, oversee the affairs of my household, and utilize my talents to God’s glory. In such things there is no sin.

        1. Research the commentaries what “keeper at home” means, Sarah. Even the Proverbs 31 woman used all of her talents in or just outside (her garden) of her home for “she looked well to the ways of her household.” Not one woman in the entire Bible worked for a boss or had a career that took her away from her home for large portions of her day.

          Jamieson-Fausset Brown Commentary: “5. keepers at home—as “guardians of the house,” as the Greek expresses. The oldest manuscripts read, ‘Workers at home’: active in household duties (Pr 7:11; 1Ti 5:13).”

          Matthew Poole’s Commentary: “Keepers at home; house-wives, not spending their time in gadding abroad, but in looking to the affairs of their own families. ”

          Gill’s Exposition of the Entire Bible: “Keepers at home: minding their own family affairs, not gadding abroad; and inspecting into, and busying themselves about other people’s matters. This is said in opposition to what women are prone unto. It is reckoned among the properties of women, by the Jews, that they are “gadders abroad” (x): they have some rules about women’s keeping at home; they say (y),

          “a woman may go to her father’s house to visit him, and to the house of mourning, and to the house of feasting, to return a kindness to her friends, or to her near relations–but it is a reproach to a woman to go out daily; now she is without, now she is in the streets; and a husband ought to restrain his wife from it, and not suffer her to go abroad but about once a month, or twice a month, upon necessity; for there is nothing more beautiful for a woman, than to abide in the corner of her house; for so it is written, Psalm 45:13 ‘the king’s daughter is all glorious within’.”

          All found here: http://biblehub.com/commentaries/titus/2-5.htm

          All to say, Sarah, that you are responsible for the way you live your life. You are not answerable to me, only to the Lord.

    2. Sarah, Lori does come across as cookie cutter for women, and it is possible that outside of what is clearly taught in God’s Word, you and many other Christian women like you may have the freedom to choose a part-time to full time career. But in order for you to make such a choice as a Believer you must first go to God’s Word and wrestle with what it says, then go to your Lord and ask Him how He wants you to live your life. If you are under the Lordship of Christ you have no personal choice on these matters, but must follow the conviction God gives to you by His Word and your personal prayers.

      If a Christian woman desires to work outside the home, or to do things contrary to what the Bible clearly teaches in these two verses, it is not a matter of personal preference, but a matter of seeking the Lord on the matter. All Lori can do is teach the Word, and the Word is pretty cookie cutter at times, but we also know that God’s grace and freedom in the non-essentials are also taught by Paul. This does not need to be an area of dispute. One must simply admit that the Biblical standard is clear, but then go on to say that they have sought the Lord on the matter and He has directed them a different way than what these verses command of her.

      No one can dispute it if your conviction is firmly grounded in seeking the Lord’s will and only you have to give an account some day for how you lived your life. But all Lori has to teach is the cookie cutter of God’s Word which God says gives us all we need for life and godliness.

      1. Ken,
        Thank you for your response. I would note that I do the things which are mandated in the word of Titus 2:3-5, and do so while working outside of the home and attending school. But that’s the rub, isn’t it, when it comes to blanket statements. Behavior in Christ is a matter of the heart, a quite personal matter. It is simply not possible to discern either by looking at a person (or by reading their words on the Internet) how they have brought their struggles to the Lord, or how the Lord has led them to make the choices that they made. If you will permit me a bit of musical reference, “you don’t know me”.

        For an example, how should one judge a twice-divorced woman? Would it make a difference if this woman had sought and continues to seek the Lord’s guidance in all things? It would indeed. But if one makes a snap judgement about her based solely on her divorces, it opens the door for shaming and shunning. “Not Godly enough”, one might sniff, forgetting that Jesus himself forgave a woman who had had numerous husbands.
        What makes this woman ungodly in the sight of man, any more so than any one of us?

        When trying to fit people into a neat mold, we deny their agency, disregard their stories, and in extreme cases, discount their faith.

        1. I am not trying to fit anyone into a “neat mold” Sarah. I am simply teaching younger women what I am supposed to teach them. I am not quite sure why you are so offended with this unless it convicts you in some way. You will one day have to give an account to the Lord for the way you lived your life and the knowledge that you held of His Word and commands. You will never have to stand in front of me or anyone else.

        2. There is a very fine line when one wants to go against the clear teaching of the Word. The line can be moved as God’s Word teaches principles of life and what most pleases God, but there are times that the circumstances of life seem to make following the letter of the Word impossible. We can accept that there may be exceptions and such exceptions are between the person and the Lord, not between the person and God’s Word. In other words, God could have easily written any exception in the Word as He does in some places where Paul says, “If anyone wants to dispute it, the churches have no custom.” Or it could have been written, I want most Christian wives to be submissive, instead of “wives submit to your own husband as to the Lord.” But even if exceptions are permitted by the Word, what are we to think when the exception becomes the rule? When you, along with greater than 50% of women are in the workplace focused on pleasing a boss and not spending concentrated time raising the next generation of Christian children or advancing the kingdom from your home?

          I can completely agree with you that the exceptions exist and I can dream up a number of them, but when the exceptions become the rule, do you not feel it is important that Lori reminds Christian women of the rule that they are to measure their lives against according to God’s Word? I don’t know how you can fault her for that and maybe all you are asking for is that she soften God’s Word in a way that God Himself does not offer? To say “most” Christian women should be keepers at home?

          When she stands before the Lord some day and gives an account of her teaching, which teaching do you believe will be most defensible? Adding to what the Word teaches or teaching it exactly the way God inspired it to be written? All Christian women are welcome to their exceptions, and these exceptions may indeed exist for some, but it is the teachers job to be faithful to teach the Word as it is given to us, and then the Spirit’s job to convict those who need the conviction and exhort those who need the exhortation and comfort those who truly have the exception in their lives. Only He knows for sure which one is necessary to allow the person to live out their very best life before the Lord.

          “Beloved, if our heart does not condemn us, then have we confidence toward God.” (I John 3:21) ” Being true to self means being sure we are not following the lies of the world, but are instead listening intently for what God desires of us. Once divorced, twice divorced … no matter what one’s past we have are made brand new in Christ the moment we believe in Him. It’s sad that some will suffer the consequences of sin here on earth, but no matter what has befallen them they can look to heaven and be restored to faithfully follow Jesus once again in newness of life. That’s the beauty of the gospel, the great love God shows towards us in Christ Jesus.

          1. Hi Ken, what a beautiful blessing this is. It reminds me of the scripture that says the letter kills but the Spirit gives life. Sometimes there are exceptions, life can be so messy, but God will and does work through exceptions, even if it is to get us to the next step in our journey with God. I must admit I would never be upset with a women working as a Doctor because as a women there has been times I have needed a women Doctor, especially when I was been treated for heart failure about 6 years ago, praise God He healed me and now my heart works very well. But at the time I really needed a woman Doctor, I guess that may be an exception. I know God worked through that lovely woman and bought such love and compassion to me when I really needed it.
            Thank you both, for your faithfulness in this ministry.
            Jilly oxo

    3. If God says something once in His Word, he doesn’t need to repeat it again and again just to make it truer, or more worth obeying. It’s not that we are fitting into a cute little box, we are fitting into God’s concept of Biblical headship. “Wives, submit yourselves unto your own husbands, as unto the Lord. For the husband is the head of the wife, even as Christ is the head of the church: and he is the saviour of the body. Therefore as the church is subject unto Christ, so let the wives be to their own husbands in every thing” (Ephesians 5:22-24). A woman who loves God will strive to keep His commandments. “If ye love me, keep my commandments” (John 14:15).

  2. The person who asked you these foolish questions believes you hate women because the god of this world {II Cor. 4:4} has blinded her. I pray the Lord will open her eyes, as only He is able to do, and that He will transform her so that she may see the truth.

  3. As the one who lives with Lori I can attest she is a very happy person and has been for many years now that she has found the joy of doing things God’s ways. Contrary to our detractors, I am not making her say or write anything she writes, only at times helping her with things when asked. I wake up most mornings never knowing what will be out next on her blog, and I can attest that she is joyfully doing exactly what God has called her to do, “Train the younger women…”

    I am curious as to how and why many women do not understand that Christianity is indeed a separate path from the world. There are many things taught in the Word of God that require sacrifice for the one we call Lord and Savior, Jesus. If you do not love Jesus, or you believe that much of God’s Word is to adapt to the culture around it, instead of the culture of Christians adapting to the Word, then you will not be one who is receptive to the ministry of this blog. You are certainly welcome to stay and ponder the words written, but there is very little written here that has not been taught in the Church and since the beginning of marriage.

    It is the culture that is out of step with the Creator and it has been so for many millennia. God’s Word is the manual by which Christians try to live, not by worldly standards or norms. We are called to “come out” of the world and “be separate.” And then some are shocked when the clear teaching of the Bible tells us what that means for family and marriage.

    Each one of us will stand before the Lord some day and give an account of our lives and how we lived them. I am confident that the woman and wife I live with will get a “well done good and faithful servant” from her Lord because she was faithful to His Word and found the joy of the Lord as she lived it and shared it with others.

    If your life is joyful, and your marriage is happy and blessed; if ministry for Jesus is blossoming and many are telling you thank you for helping to train them in the knowledge of God’s ways, then you are on the right track, even if that path is indeed narrow as promised by Jesus, in today’s upside down world where right is wrong and wrong is often seen as right.

  4. I love you and your blog and the Truth you share so lovingly. I was once lost in the world, but now I am free in Christ to be what He created me to be. His way is the way of freedom, but so few will ever find it.

    So many women are brainwashed in our society, they have little knowledge of Truth. The church is not on the narrow path either. Many are always learning but never able to come to the knowledge of truth.

    This is not your fault, its not the Lord’s fault. People simple reject Truth and as a consequence they hate being reminded of what the Lord says is His will. Keep sharing. You are valued and necessary.

    I have shrunken back at times after being blasted by those who don’t desire to hear the truth, but you haven not and you are a good testimony to me and others. Keep fighting the good fight. The Lord will reward your faithfulness.

    1. Thank you, SC.

      Yes, the Lord is the only one that I will have to stand before some day and give an account for how I lived and what I taught so I only care about teaching His Truth. I try very hard not to make up things that are not clearly in His Word.

      Blessings to you and yes, speak truth in love! His Word never comes back void.

  5. Lori

    Wonderful words, thank you as ever Lori. The way of the Lord is a narrow way, considered foolishness by the world but joyful to those of us who walk it!.

    Helen UK

  6. a woman may go to her father’s house to visit him, and to the house of mourning, and to the house of feasting, to return a kindness to her friends, or to her near relations–but it is a reproach to a woman to go out daily; now she is without, now she is in the streets; and a husband ought to restrain his wife from it, and not suffer her to go abroad but about once a month, or twice a month, upon necessity; for there is nothing more beautiful for a woman, than to abide in the corner of her house; for so it is written, Psalm 45:13 ‘the king’s daughter is all glorious within’.

    I don’t know what to say to this. This is NOT the wife my husband desires. Not at all! If too many days goes by and we haven’t gotten out and been involved with other Christian families or extra educational enrichment, I’d better have a darned good reason for that.

    The key point in all these passages of Scripture is that the wife is to submit and adapt herself and her lifestyle to the needs of her husband and his vision for the family
    These verses were never meant to act as some sort of New Testament law.

    Voddie Baucham said once that inside of every one of us is a raging legalist. He is absolutely right.

    1. That is a quote from a commentary, Terry. In 1 Timothy 5, Paul wrote:

      “11 But the younger widows refuse: for when they have begun to wax wanton against Christ, they will marry; 12 Having damnation, because they have cast off their first faith. 13 And withal they learn to be idle, wandering about from house to house; and not only idle, but tattlers also and busybodies, speaking things which they ought not. 14 I will therefore that the younger women marry, bear children, guide the house, give none occasion to the adversary to speak reproachfully.”

      From these verses, it is clear that a woman should be busy at home and this is where she should spend the bulk of her time. Paul could have easily told these older and younger widows to go out and get a job but he did not.

      The only time you comment on my blog, Terry, is to be critical of me. Why do you read my blog if you so disagree with me?

  7. I have discover your blogs recently (always learning and this one) and I love them. I am learning a lot and started living out some of what I am learning. Reading the questions that were asked you, I can sense that they were not honest questions. The last part of those questions and affirmation were lacking kindness. The Lord asks us to honor, respect and be kind to all. How difficult it is for me but this is love. Let us remember to love our enemies 1 Cor. 13

    Keep up the good work good and faithful servant!

    Many blessings

  8. I have a real problem with making the cross of Christ of none effect by turning the guidelines Paul offered into a New Testament type of law.

    More than that, when I decided it would be more “godly” for me to try and squeeze myself into this very narrow version of wife-hood, it turned me into a wife that my very godly, God-fearing husband didn’t like very much.

    In essence, the bottom line is that so long as a husband isn’t asking his wife to engage in sin, the primary directive is to submit to him and adapt herself to his vision for the family.

    If that means co-op or weekly church duties, the godly thing to do is obey that. I am blessed to have a husband who wants me to be a housewife, and who makes an income which makes that possible. Praise God for that, but when you tell women that anything their husbands desire which are not sin but don’t fit in this narrow box means their husbands are “disobedient”, not matter how good of a Christian he is, you instill unnecessary condemnation and contempt for their men into their hearts.

    I have a strong heart and passion for strong Christian marriages, and this is why I feel the need to speak up and encourage women to be careful about allowing themselves to see their wonderful husbands through a negative lens based on a law-based approach to what Paul wrote as the ideal.

    We are FREE from the law, and when you say a person “hates the Lord and His ways” or are in sin when they are obeying their husbands in an area not blatant sin, it rankles me.

    1. I am not teaching the Law because I clearly understand we are free from the Law. I am teaching from the New Covenant that was specifically given for the Church. I don’t expect everyone to agree 100% with what I teach or how I say it but I teach my convictions and how I read the Word.

  9. I completely believe that women should be keepers at home. I am unmarried and nearly 40. I’d love to be a homemaker and feel inpatient for God to bring me a husband. I know He will give me all things in His time and in His will.
    How can I prepare myself best to be a homemaker? Any ideas from any lovely ladies that follow this blog?
    Thanks for your advice ahead of time and May the Lord richly bless you and your homes.

  10. You LOVE women so much you want to teach them the TRUTH!!! I for one am SO thankful you take your mission so seriously! You have helped me so very much! Bless you, Lori, for all you do!

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