Men Prefer Attractive Wives
This title won’t be as contentious as my other title that beings with “Men Prefer…” since I doubt any men prefer their wives to be unattractive. Those who will find it to be contentious are those who falsely believe that men aren’t allowed to have any preferences at all and if they do, they are somehow evil. (This came out loud and clear on my viral post.) This is not so! We all have preferences.
However, “attractiveness” is in the eye of the beholder. On my birthday post, I mentioned that my 60 year old husband still finds his just turned 60 year old wife attractive. I decided to find out what he meant when he told me this. Here is how he answered me.
The most important thing that keeps him attracted to me is my joyfulness! I laugh at his jokes and smile a lot. I even sing loudly at church although my voice isn’t great. (He did tell me on our walk yesterday that he liked my voice. I was shocked!) I don’t get moody so he doesn’t have to wonder what my mood will be.
The others things he finds attractive about me in order: I keep myself in shape, intelligence, ability to carry a good conversation, and how well I take care of the children and grandchildren. I asked the women in the chat room what their husbands find attractive in them and they had a variety of answers from how they wear their hair, makeup, what clothing they wear, how they were treated by their wives, cleanliness, and many other things.
Men will have a variety of things that attract them to their wives but I remember hearing that the number one thing that men find most attractive in women is their cheerfulness. It’s probably the one thing that women find the hardest to keep since they are easily led by their emotions and feelings. I sure was when I was younger but not anymore! Thankfully, the Lord kicked it out of me when I was able to see how ugly and wrong it was. Plus, being in the word of God daily helps me to continually renew my mind with truth. Being thankful and continually taking every thought captive to the obedience of the Lord Jesus are vital to remaining joyful.
One woman in the chat room wrote that her demeanor and attitude is what attracts her husband no matter what she looks like. If she is cheerful and laughing, he is attracted to her even if she is in her pajamas but if she is sour and grumpy, she is not attractive to him at all.
I do think most men are attracted to their wives when they try to stay in the best shape that they can. Men are visual. It’s a fact of life no matter how much women try to say men shouldn’t be this way. They are. God made them this way! So do the best you can and if you struggle, at least keep trying and never give up.
Ask your husband what makes you attractive to him then ask him what makes you unattractive to him. (I asked this of my husband, too, and still need to work on a few areas!) You want to learn what pleases him so you will want to work on becoming more attractive to him and less unattractive to him. Remember, this is the man that you promised to be committed until death do you part and you were created to be his help meet. Desire to stay attractive to him, even in your old age. Joyfulness goes a LONG way even when you have gray hair, age spots, and wrinkles!
A merry heart doeth good like a medicine: but a broken spirit drieth the bones.
Proverbs 17:22
28 thoughts on “Men Prefer Attractive Wives”
I wish more women dressed nicer, like they did before the 60’s to 70’s when the radical feminist revolutions took place! Now, instead of a nice dress, hat and gloves, they wear frayed jeans, hoodies, and skimpy tops! They swear and cuss and act vulgar feeling that empowers them! Women of elegance and grace have been replaced by radical feminism to be tough, dress provocatively and be as unlady like as possible! A nice feminine woman is tough to come by, and any men who openly desire one are branded “misogynists” and part of the “patriarchy”! It’s sad how many young women are brainwashed out of being true ladies!
Lori I think you are beautiful both inside and out.☺
Thank you, Regina! It is only by God’s grace and mercy poured out upon me that has made me what I am today.
And most women are much more angry than they are cheerful since they ponder more about what they don’t have, how they’re expectations aren’t being met, and/or how “unfair” life is that this all steal their joy. Feminism has stolen women’s feminine qualities and their joy.
Beauty of course as you mention too, also comes from within <3 A lady is one of elegance and grace, and is far more beautiful than the entitled vulgar beauty queen!
I think so too and I live with the woman :).
Lori, thank you for this. You are absolutely right that men respond to cheerful women better and find them more attractive. Frankly, I struggle with this frequently when things aren’t going well or worries and anxiety rear their ugly heads. Can you give us some examples of how you manage to maintain your cheerfulness even when things aren’t going right? I’ve heard you repeat that godliness with contentment is great gain, and I do try to remember that. Any other tips would be appreciated.
Yes to the comment about angry women. I’ve noticed on tv shows and movies the trend is to have heroines with a chip on their shoulders. The teen girls are so full of angst I won’t even watch them (even if the rating is decent). But the really ridiculous thing that all these shows do is still make the boy or man passionately want these nasty women. Even Hallmark movies will do this.
So women get the idea that it is okay (even good) to be unkind/harsh/edgy and that men should still want them. I see these women characters and think if I were a guy I’d have zero interest in them. I do wonder though if men really are attracted to the mean women (overwhelmed by their physical beauty perhaps?) or if it is just Hollywood projecting on girls/women what they ought to be and on boys/men what they ought to want.
Do you think men really want nasty women? I do wonder when I see things like the Women’s March and realize that a good number of them are married or have a boyfriend.
Hi Lori, I asked my husband what made me most attractive, and he said it was my smile and the sparkle in my eyes when I am cheerful. ?
“Favor is deceitful, and beauty is vain: but a woman that feareth the Lord, she shall be praised.” (Pro. 31:30).
Yay! I think we all like to be around cheerful people. Negative and complaining people are no fun to be around.
I agree, M! There are some Hallmark movies that have women who are always upset with the guy and I won’t even finish watching them. I much prefer those that have kind and cheerful women in them. Lori Laughlin is one of my favorites! She has such a gentle, cheerful manner about her no matter what part she is given. Maybe she only wants those parts!
Hi Kelly,
The only way I have been able to do this is by being in the word of God consistently and continually renewing my mind with truth. I remind myself that the joy of the Lord is my strength and that I can do all things through Christ who strengthens me! Dwell on the good and the lovely. Fill your mind with good things. Practice makes perfect. 🙂
Thank you! I really do want to improve in this area.
While reading some of these comments I thought of something an elder lady from my church once told.me. She said, “Pretty is as pretty does”. This goes a longggggg way. Our actions can make us even more attractive to our husbands when we are delighting ourselves in Thr Lord and walking in His Light!
Absolutely, Allison! Our behavior makes us much more attractive than anything we can do to our outward appearance.
Wow this hit home today as my emotions are truly ruling over me, unfortunately. I am really going to work on being more cheerful.
Gwyneth Montenegro, 40, a former prostitute who has slept with over 10,000 men has answered the golden questions that many women ask. In her book on “being financially successful in the sex industry,” she said; the most important thing to her clients was the “feeling of being needed and wanted. Wanted badly by a h**** woman. It is their ultimate fantasy after all.”
Although Gwyneth is not a role model for Christian women, she made money by understanding and selling what men wanted. She also mentioned that a man who is getting all the sex he wants at home will not go to a prostitute. Her clientele were often deeply in love with their wives, but felt defrauded sexually. Christian women could learn a thing or two from her.
When the preachers of this selfish generation won’t preach 1 Corinthians 7:2-5, God will have the whores make His truth plain to those who ignore His word.
The only reason given in the New Testament for getting married is to avoid sexual immorality. If you’re willfully not obeying 1 Corinthians 7:2-5, you’re marriage is not serving its intended purpose, and you are putting yourselves both into temptation. The temptation isn’t only just towards cheating, the temptation is usually to become dissatisfied, and treat the person who lost interest in you with contempt and lose interest and care for them, because they are intentionally defrauding you.
FWIW A man does not need to know a single word of the Bible to know when he is being defrauded of his wife’s adoration. Trust me! You feel it in your soul, and it is ugly.
One way wives who want to make themselves attractive to their husbands can do so is by making themselves freely available for marital relations.
Don’t tell him “You’re like a microwave, I’m like a crock pot. You need to warm me up all day by vacuuming, doing the dishes, and whatever else comes to my mind to require you to do before I’m ‘in the mood.'”
What I told my daughter when she got married: “Take care of your husband in the kitchen and the bedroom, and treat him with respect. Everything else will fall into place.”
Absolutely! A wife who continually deprives her husband will never be attractive to him no matter how beautiful she is on the outside.
When a wife tells her husband “You need to warm me up all day by vacuuming, doing the dishes, and whatever else comes to my mind to require you to do before I’m ‘in the mood.’” This is absolute nonsense and boils down to nothing more than an attempt at SINFUL female manipulation.
The truth is, even though her brain may say this, her body will respond in just the opposite way (if her husband gives in) when she sees that she can manipulate her weak minded husband and bend him to her will. A lot of a woman’s sexual attraction to her husband comes from her respect for him and if she can manipulate him to her will that easily, then she looses respect for him.
“Do you think men really want nasty women?”
Absolutely not! Many of today’s men have been conditioned (by their single mothers) to think that it’s normal for a woman to act this way. I think they lie to themselves (or just stay quiet) about how they feel about it to try and accept it as normal.
Some men know that it’s wrong but will put up with it to have access to the woman’s company (mainly her body) but they still hate it. They know that if they bring up the issue they will just be ridiculed and shamed for it so they stay quiet and accept it as “the cost of doing business”.
More and more men these days are becoming MGTOW. This stands for Men Going Their Own Way. These men, whose ranks grow larger every day, are just writing off women completely because they have become too intolerable to be around. These men are living out the Bibles truth when it says (Proverbs 21:19) “It is better to live in a desert land Than with a contentious and vexing woman.”
Let’s think about what that verse really says. It’s better for a man to live alone, in a dry and desolate place with no shade or shelter, where the sun relentlessly beats down on you and cooks you to a crisp during the day and the temperature drops and freezes you to the bone every night. Where water and food are either scarce or non-existent and the wind will often blow the sand so hard that it will wear your skin off. Yes this harsh and difficult place is preferable to living with a “contentious and vexing” woman. From my observations, the vast majority of Western women these days, including most of the ones that call themselves Christians, are exactly that kind of NASTY woman.
NO! I don’t think that there is a man alive who want’s ANYTHING to do with a nasty women but if that’s all that’s out there and he can’t or is unwilling to do without one, then he really does not have a choice but to try and tolerate it.
Amen!
I am so blessed to be engaged to a beautiful, elegant & graceful woman! God is Great!
I just heard about a divorce yesterday. The last child graduated from college in May and started a job in August. Early this month, the wife received divorce papers from the husband. His reason? “She was a pig and I couldn’t stand living in that house for another minute. I would’ve left earlier, but I couldn’t risk that my wife would win custody and my kids would be raised in a home that would’ve been filthier than a pig sty.” It seemed shocking for someone married over 25 yrs.
As for me, the one thing I know my husband loves is my sense of humor. He says I make him laugh like no one else. He also tells me regularly that he doesn’t care if I wear make up or dye my hair to cover the grey….”You’re beautiful to me just the way God made you.”
Having said that, I’ve never really asked the question of attractiveness.
If this were facebook, I would “like” Kens comment. 🙂 That’s neat he is on your blog sometimes. 🙂 I appreciate the things you have to say! ~Kate
my husband has always said he likes to see me happy. not that times are never hard, but a general cheerfulness is always attractive. also, my weight has stayed lower than most wives we know because my husband has always been supportive of my efforts to keep it under control-even though it seems harder since going into the perimenopause phase of my life. we walk together most days and try to eat healthy, though we don’t always succeed. I have learned after all these years that listening to my husband in this area not only makes him happier, but keeps me healthier and happier too.
Ken and I walk almost every day together, too, and we both keep each other accountable about our weight! He has asked me to do so since we don’t want to allow food to master us and want to stay in shape. Everyone is happier when they have self-control. Thank you, Mary!
I agree with Kate ?. If this were Facebook, I would have “liked” this comment too.