Warning to Twenty Year Old Women

Warning to Twenty Year Old Women

For many years, Dennis Prager, a Jewish man with a lot of wisdom, has had a male/female hour on his radio program in which he discusses things relating to males and females. It’s very good and he’s very open about a man’s sexual nature and a woman’s emotional nature. I called one Wednesday and talked to him on the radio last year during this hour. After talking with me, he wanted the address of my blog! Anyways, here’s a GREAT call he had with an older woman who followed the feminist’s path and is reaping the ugly and lonely fruit from it. What saddens me the most is that Christian mothers are encouraging their daughters to take the same path that this feminist mother taught her to take. Heed her words, women.

“Dennis, I want to get right to it. I’m 50 years old with four college degrees. I was raised by a feminist mother with no father in the home. My mother told me get an education to the maximum level so that you can get out in the world, make a lot of money. And that’s the path I followed. I make adequate money. I don’t make a ton of money. But I do make enough to support my own household.

“I want to tell women in their 20s: Do not follow the path that I followed. You are leading yourself to a life of loneliness. All of your friends will be getting married and having children, and you’re working to compete in the world, and what you’re doing is competing with men. Men don’t like competitors. Men want a partner. It took me until my late 40s to realize this.

“And by the time you have your own household with all your own bills, you can’t get off that track, because now you’ve got to make the money to pay your bills. It’s hard to find a partner in your late 40s to date because you also start losing self-confidence about your looks, your body. It’s not the same as it was in your 20s. You try to do what you can to make your life fulfilling. I have cats and dogs. But it’s lonely when you see your friends having children, going on vacations, planning the lives of their children, and you don’t do anything at night but come home to your cats and dogs. I don’t want other women to do what I have done.”

 Dennis asked, “Was it hard for you to make this call?”

She responded: “It was. I want to be anonymous because I don’t want people that I know to really know my true feelings. Because you do act like ‘My career is everything. I love working.’ But it’s a lie on the inside for me. It’s unfortunate. I didn’t realize this until it’s too late. I don’t know if it’s too late. I would like to find somebody to go on vacation with.

“You have other concerns when you get older and you live alone. Who’s going to take you to your medical appointments? If something should happen to you, there’s no other income there to help you. These are things you don’t understand when you’re in your 20s because you don’t think you’ll ever get old and have health problems.

“I’m stuck now because I go to work every day. I smile like I love it, but it’s very painful to not plan a vacation with someone. It’s painful to not have a Thanksgiving dinner with someone. You sit home alone and you do nothing. I avoid my friends now that have children because I have nothing in common with them.

“Somebody asked me the other day, ‘Why did you stay single and never have kids?’ Because I was brainwashed by my mother into this. But it’s hard and it’s shameful to tell people, ‘I don’t know. I ran out of time.’

“There’s not a good answer for it except ‘I was programmed to get into the workforce, compete with men and make money.’ Supposedly, that would be a fulfilling life. But I was told that by a feminist mother who was divorced, who hated her husband — my father.

“She tried to steer me on what she thought was the right path, but feminism is a lie. That’s what I want women to know.

“I didn’t realize this until late in life. I want to tell women: Find someone in your 20s. That’s when you’re still very cute. That’s when you’re still amiable to working out problems with someone. It’s harder in your 50s, when you’ve lived alone, to compromise with someone, to have someone in your home and every little thing about them annoys you because you’re so used to being alone. It’s hard to undo that, so don’t do what I did. Find someone in your 20s.”

Young women in your 20s, learn to be cheerful and have meek and quiet spirits! This will be what attracts men the most. I know I am not supposed to write about what men prefer, but I will continue to do so. They are allowed to have preferences and loud, dominate, rebellious, and independent women do not attract men, especially the kind of man that you are looking for. Grow in the wisdom and knowledge of the LORD. Ask Him to bring a godly man into your life. Way too many young people aren’t marrying today. This is not good and not from God; for He wants young women to marry, bear children, and guide the home.

Thus saith the LORD, Stand ye in the ways, and see, and ask for the old paths, where is the good way, and walk therein, and ye shall find rest for your souls.
Jeremiah 6:16

32 thoughts on “Warning to Twenty Year Old Women

  1. Wise words! I went to college, but I look forward to being a wife and making a nice home for my family! A career is one level of fulfillment, but it pales in comparison to having a big, loving family, especially when you’re old and can’t work! Too many die alone and are lonely on the holidays and have no safety net…. Building a family in love and reaping the fruits of what you planted is the best gift in life, and both my grandparents knew that!

  2. Interesting. This is a classic example to the end result of feminist ideology. Loneliness, and the end of her line. In other words, she didn’t make the same mistake with her daughter that her mother made with her.

  3. I wish I had learned this 20 years old but praise be to God I’m a better woman now than I was at 20. I was a young whippersnappers and didn’t know better.

  4. Wow. That about sums it up, doesn’t it? It’s great she can be honest. I suspect that more than a few women agree with her, but who wants to admit it? The feminists are all about choices until you make one that they don’t agree with. Or admit you made one in listening to their blathering baloney.

    I always enjoyed Dennis Prager when I did the dreaded L.A. commute to a job I hated! I listened to him and Focus on the Family to ease my traffic pains. I didn’t realize he was still on the air.

  5. I always wanted to get married and have children in my early 20s. Looking back I was in no state back then BECAUSE I was not Godly wife material. I was drawing in the wrong kind of men, though I wanted to be a Godly woman I did not have the training or know-how. Luckily for me God worked on my heart and in the midst of learning I met a man in my mid-late 20s who drew the feminine spirit out of me. He is my leader and it’s not necessarily due to my perfect submission. Rather, he knows the role he was made for and he will not let me lead despite my efforts sometimes. I appreciate this I’m him because it’s helped me to be a better woman and I believe it’s what God intended to show me what submission is. I’m not concerned about being lonely with him. What I am concerned about is the decisions I made in my early 20s before him. I thought I’d never marry and I pursued a career, got into massive (six figure) student debt. I mourn that my financial/education decisions are a liability to the life I now know I was ordained for. I agree ladies, the decisions you make will haunt you later. Do not be a liability to your husband as I am to mine because of my debt. Slavery to student loans for an unfulfilling and lonely future is no life.

  6. Wow, that was a painful read – but I’m so glad that the woman was willing to do it. Bravo to her. Thanks for sharing, Lori!

  7. My Dad wanted me to go to college when all I wanted was to be a wife and mother. Because of my “career” I worked the first two years of my oldest daughter’s life. This is one of the biggest regrets of my life but back then, we were not taught anything different just as it is today.

  8. Feminism has left the most important part out of their agenda – love. There’s nothing that can compare to the love of a husband and love of children but we must be willing to invest our lives into them since this is what true love looks like.

  9. I am a much better woman than I was in my 20s, too, Regina, thanks to God’s grace and transforming power in my life. I did marry in my early 20s (22) but I sure wish I knew then what I know now but am so very thankful that I didn’t fall for all of the lies of feminism. I couldn’t wait to quit my career and be the one home raising my children.

  10. Yes, he’s still on the air every day from 9:00 am to 12:00. I still listen to him once in a while.

    This story is being retold by numerous older women who look back on their lives with sorrow and regret for falling for the feminist’s lies which was all about them and their “goals” and nothing about creating a family of love.

  11. Rebellious? Independent? My fiance is exactly like that and I couldn’t do without her being like that. But now that I think of how easy it would be if things were as you say, maybe I’ll go buy a leash or something…

  12. Way too many women are slaves to their debts and can’t be home with their babies because of it. They sought after the worldly path instead of the godly one and are reaping the bad fruit from it. It’s a sad and sorry condition that is rampant today.

  13. You’re welcome, Diana! I follow Dennis on my Facebook and saw it yesterday. Immediately, I knew I needed to make it into a post. The more places that women can read about the feminist’s lies, the better.

  14. What about daughters that weren’t raised like that that still haven’t found Godly men. My daughters were homeschooled, didn’t go to college and now work part time. They are beautiful godly women in their early twenties and live at home and attend church with us. It seem like there are no godly young men who want to pursue young women like them. Still praying for the Lord to bring them godly husbands.

  15. I think that many of us men enjoy the challenge that a feisty, sassy, independent woman gives us, and in the past, men could help their wives grow up and into the role God has given them, as the immature man grew into his role of lover, leader and provider. Unfortunately, too many of these independent, young ladies have been brainwashed by feminism and apart from the transforming power of Jesus, they will, out of fear, live separate lives, never really bonding with their husbands.

    How can a wife bond and become vulnerable to a man she does not trust? And how can a man win a wife who has been taught not to trust him or depend upon him fully? I am not saying that men never give a wife a reason not to trust them, but rather even the most trustworthy cannot get a wife to fully enjoy a life of true intimacy and love if she is keeping him at arm’s length by her need to be right, need to stay in control, and need to protect that little girl inside that Mom and the world taught her with words and example that she was never to fully trust or depend upon him.

    If you want to take on the challenge of “taming the shrew” you should start now before you are married by getting a basic understanding together of how the marriage with go. Then if you jump in both feet, make sure you both are in it for the long run. Decide that divorce will never be mentioned as you will work things out. And find an older, godly couple to give you some good premarital counseling and to be there for you after you marry and the battle for leadership ensues.

  16. This is a lovely post.

    I married my husband when I was 20. Our first baby was born when I was 21.

    Our marriage has not been without it’s difficulties and many, many times over the years I have wished I could turn back the clock and, although I would still have married my husband, I don’t think I would have married him so young.

    But then I read something like this and I realize that God never makes mistakes. It wasn’t a mistake for me to marry my husband so young. We both (and our families) prayed a lot about it beforehand and it was clear to us all that marriage was the right thing to do, but because our society is so against women marrying so young, it’s felt like a mistake.

    We’ve been together for 17 years next month. It hasn’t all been easy, but now, even if I *could* turn back the clock, I wouldn’t do it.

  17. This is a painful read. Only gripe is blaming feminist mothers. Women need to take ownership and be truthful about their own choices. In your 20s you were mature enough to have chosen your career over children. That wasn’t your mother it was you. Be mature enough to own that, its a huge part of repentance. This constant tirade against feminism as the dominant ideology among Christians is less offensive to feminism than it is to Christianity. Why are the preachers at the pulpit not able to grapple with what Christian men expect of women and what Christian women expect of themselves. We have had the word for 2000 years, feminism isnt barely 200 years old?

  18. At 20, I had been married for a year, and sadly lost my first baby to miscarriage. I was also going to church 3-4 times a week. I was also working full time, and between hubby and I looking after each other and the house. And I have no regrets being married so young. And 33 years later, still happily married, though I am now a carer for my daughter

  19. Also, it was a little rich that the woman blamed her “lack of self confidence” for her failure to land a man; no, lady, that’s not it.

  20. Heidi, I totally agree. Despite my mother being a stay at home mom, she was “feminist” in the fact that she let me make my own choices when I was 18. I CHOSE to go to college, but if I had said I wanted to go to community college and help out with my siblings and go to church events to meet a husband, she would have been okay with it! Even if after college I said, well thanks for paying for tuition, but I’m going to be married and stay home, she would have supported me. It’s MY own decision, and I take ownership for it. I work now, but my husband and I both know I will quit when I have my first child. I would never blame my mother for allowing me to make my own decisions. I don’t blame her for any sins that I have made, do I?

    I guess the danger here is that some women don’t have the luxury of parents paying for their education, so they are so in debt they feel stuck with their career even if they do have regrets.

  21. You find love when you find it. One of my best friends found hers in highschool and they married in their early twenties. Another one of my friends married her highschool sweetheart and they married when they were 18. He turned out to be abusive. He beat her senseless and he even held a gun to her head. She divorced him and remarried a wonderful man when she was in her thirties.

    I thought I would marry while in my twenties but didn’t meet my husband until I was almost thirty. Sometimes that’s how life works out.

  22. No, many women today aren’t even looking for love, Mrs. Reid. They are chasing after higher education and careers instead. This is what the woman in the article is warning about.

  23. If that’s her personality and it doesn’t impact your relationship negatively, then let her be herself! Of course things would be easier if she was less rebellious or independent, but then she wouldn’t be her – think about why you love her. If what she’s doing is unreasonable, then help her through it and understand why she’s doing the things she’s doing – no one does anything for no reason, and maybe you can help her. I don’t know how old you are, but people mature as they get older and mellow a little. Just my opinion, but I wouldn’t give up on it.

  24. I can only pray to God that one day a nice, godly man will come to me and marry me and give me a purpose. I don’t know where I would be without men, especially my father and Jesus. I love men (especially Jesus :)) and I can’t wait to bear my husband’s children and submit, as God himself intended, to my husband’s will. I believe the Lord intended to set the ultimate example of how a woman should submit to her husband out of love when he sent his son to die for our sins. To be fully honest, I sometimes struggle with rebellious thoughts, I even once accidentally watched the View in a waiting room (during my father’s cardiac surgery). I cannot begin to tell you, Lori, how shocked and disturbed I was by these women (no men!) speaking with such authority on MY country’s state. It was dispicable. It is for this reason that I am fully willing to do anything (even die) to show my future husband the depths of my love (for him and our Saviour). I pray he can mold me away from these rebellious thoughts and tame my spirit to be meek and quiet. Lori, and anyone else who may read this, please keep me in your prayers – that I may find a god-fearing man to whom I can devote my life.

  25. What about Paul’s statement that singleness can be a preferred state for believers? I have a sister that is 50, never married and has been career focused, in a career that makes a positive difference in our culture. Might she like to be married? Maybe so, but she doesn’t pine about it and is a wonderful aunt to my 4 children. The Bible clearly states that some have a gift of singleness, even if this caller didn’t or wishes for a different life. It is good of her to tell younger women honestly about her experience, but I think Christian women should seek godly contentment, married or not.

  26. I know I keep coming on here as I am searching for answers. I have been dating since my early 20s, and am 30 now. I have gone through six heartbreaks, and even though my heart is broken I so much want to be a wife and mother. And I was almost engaged last year but he shocked me by breaking up with me. When I read posts like this, it scares me. I wanted to be a young mother and have a lot of children, and I am not single by choice. Every birthday I cry, and when that time of the month rolls around I cry too…frightened that my fertility is declining. I try to heal from each breakup, but the lingering depression makes it very hard. I was almost engaged a few years before but the young man came from an abusive family (physically and verbally), and I was very afraid he might become abusive over time. I hope I made the right decision. I found out later that he got into drugs after we broke up. He also drank alcohol early in the morning too while we were dating which made me uncomfortable too. I’m so scared I missed my chance. Is there any way you could pray for me? I keep dating online, in person, asking around for prayers and if anyone knows anyone who might be interested, but nothing materializes. I don’t want to end up alone. It is so hard dating: men have alcohol and pornography addictions even in the church and mismanagement of finances. God bless you and if you have any ideas, please let me know. Even just prayers that the Lord would send me a good man who loves Him. Thank you.

  27. Hi Kelly,

    You must remind yourself that God is good and His plan for you is good. It’s not in your timing but in His timing. No, don’t settle for a man who may be abusive or drinks too much or has a porn addiction. Wait for a godly man who has none of these. Trust in the Lord. Wait upon Him. Find ministries to get involved with in the meantime. Don’t dwell upon your fertility or whatever. Dwell upon your Maker and know He loves you!

  28. Most men nowadays look for partners who have the same if not similar educational background though.

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