What High Quality Men Prefer…
Coach Noah Revoy wrote this tweet that is similar to my debt-free virgin post that caused women to be all riled up:
I realize that some women don’t care what men prefer, but there are still many that do. I want to go through this list that he created. Remember, he’s a man and knows what most godly men want in a woman, so if you are single, take notes!
Most men aren’t looking for beauty queens. When he wrote that men want “attractive” women, he spelled out exactly what this meant.
Fitness – Work to get in shape. Don’t overeat but eat in moderation as God commands. Exercise and try to get enough sleep.
Clear skin – “Wait? How can we help this?” We can! Bad skin means one has a bad gut. Health begins and ends in the gut. Learn to eat healthy. Cut out all of the sugar and junk food. In high school, I had bad skin so I cut out all sugar. My skin cleared up. You may need to take probiotics and other things to heal your gut. Check out Dr. Axe’s and Dr. Mercola’s sites and learn how to clear your skin up and eat healthy.
Long hair – Some women can’t grow their hair long. A good friend of mine could only grow it to her shoulders, and her hair was very thin. Grow it as long as you can and don’t look like a man! Yes, even today most men prefer long hair on younger women. Some women have luxurious long, thick hair. I was never one of them but simply do what you can to look and be feminine. After all, God does tell us that long hair is a woman’s glory (1 Corinthians 11:15)!
He goes on to encouraging women to be debt-free which I explained clearly in my debt-free virgin post. College is the main reason that women are in deep debt since our nation idolizes higher education. Matt Walsh tweeted this out a few months ago about an article titled “Enrollment Rate For College Freshmen Drops By Double Digits”: “This is honestly the best news I’ve read in months. Let’s pray the trend continues until dozens of universities are bankrupted and destroyed.” I agree wholeheartedly with him since universities are bastions of Marxism and Feminism which are destroying our nation right now.
I have written plenty about women being virgins and that God commands that women be virgins until marriage. Fornication is sinning against one’s own body. All of God’s commands to us are for our own good. If you can’t understand why it is best to spend that first night with the man you marry, he sure does and will respect your faithfulness to him even more because of it.
What about having domestic skills? Yes! This is so important, young women. If you had a mother who taught you these skills, you are blessed indeed. Don’t use the excuse that you hate to cook. Learn to cook. Learn to keep a clean and tidy home. Learn to love being a homemaker and all that this involves. This is God’s will for you! He created wives to be their husbands’ help meet and to be keepers at home. This is our ministry at home, not our husbands’.
Many women don’t want to be mothers these days. So many couples my age have children who are not marrying and if they do, they don’t want children. One of the main reasons that God gave men such a strong sex drive is so that they would want to marry and have children! Children are gifts and blessings from God. It’s heartbreaking to me how many women on social media tell me that they don’t want to have children. This is most often from a rebellious spirit. God created women to bear, nurse and raise the next generation of godly children.
Lastly, what about tattoos. I wrote a post about this issue after my viral post called “Are Tattoos Sinful?” If you already have them, don’t worry about it. There’s nothing you can do but look forward and know that grace will cover a multitude of mistakes and sins. But if you’re pondering getting them, I encourage you think and pray about it more and don’t do something permanent that so many now regret. Tattoos grow gray and ugly as you age. God made our skin beautiful and tattoos only cause the eye to be distracted from this natural beauty.
The most important thing that Coach Noah left out is the inner quality of a woman is to seek to have a meek and quiet spirit. Learn that godliness with contentment is great joy. Remind yourself daily that the joy of the Lord is your strength. I believe a joyful, cheerful woman is the most attractive trait to a man. Who wants to marry a grouchy, unhappy woman? Worse yet a controlling one? Be in the Word daily, renewing your mind with truth. Don’t be led by your emotions and feelings, but be led by truth instead. God gives us the fruit of His Spirit, so read that list in Galatians 5:22-23 and see that it is far from boisterous self-seeking feminism. God’s ways are always best for us.
But let it be the hidden man of the heart, in that which is not corruptible, even the ornament of a meek and quiet spirit, which is in the sight of God of great price.
1 Peter 3:4
39 thoughts on “What High Quality Men Prefer…”
Yes, The most important quality is the state of your heart, for God looks at your heart. I intend to teach our girls to be women that know how to cook and manage a home, but my utmost concern is that they learn to love and serve the Lord.
As a man, I whole-heartedly agree with everything in this post.
This post as great as other ones.?
Now as a man in his early 20s,can I know what can do and what to I have to achieve and work on to be in this “high quality men” category!?
I want to know what traditonal conservative girls and women look for in men…not those liberal women.
There are tons of expectations but those are from liberal ones.
What does traditional,authentic masculinity look like??
I try to tell women this and most do not want to hear this truth. They are full of excuses. And don’t care what the Bible has to say.
Good list. I know that some women with highly curly hair textures like many black women, have a hard time reading about the long hair thing. But I truly think that it is whatever is feminine for the culture, which is why braids and many beautiful intricate hairstyles and wraps are very feminine and attractive. I also think your list points to why the Christian culture should stop demonizing young love and marriage. People are practically told NOT to marry a first boyfriend/girlfriend as though it is the biggest mistake. But if a person is discerning to only date someone who they think is possible husband/wife material, then it isn’t unreasonable to marry a first boyfriend/girlfriend if it progresses to that.
I would add that a woman must understand her husband is the final decision, which most women rebel against, and that birth control for any reasons other than legitimate health concerns is a sin, are two main factors that eliminate 95% of marriageable women from marriage consideration for handsome, Godly, righteous men.
A woman’s beauty means absolutely nothing if she doesn’t obey God. She didn’t choose the former, she does choose the latter.
Our destiny is defined by choice, not by attributes we had nothing to do with.
I think part of attractiveness is just having good hygiene. Ive come across so many women today that may as well dress in a potato sack, have dirty or greasy, unkempt hair and terrible body odor.
You dont have to have supermodel looks to be attractive. Smile a lot, that goes a long way as well.
Obviously it depends on your definition of “higher quality men”. Is that rich, successful, Godly ?
But whatever the definition I suspect that all men, religious or secular, would – as their ideal – follow something closer to your definition than to the depraved perversion of femininity offered by feminists.
What man does not want a capable, chaste and feminine wife ?
Not comprehensive, my friend, but a high quality man is one who has self control. In other words, he is celibate before marriage and faithful in it. In today’s culture, that must be defined, since men are conditioned not to have self control. Celibacy means not having any sex, including masturbation or porn. Also, the man does not use psychotropic drugs, is not an alcoholic, a man who doesn’t use alcohol at all is quite a catch, and is not an angry and violent person.
He is a hard worker, he is diligent, patient, kind, wise, knowledgeable, meek, humble, and a good provider and protecter of his wife and children.
He is selfless, not selfish.
Above all else, he serves God first, honors his parents, and loves all mankind.
He is forgiving, not spiteful and malicious.
I am sure others can add to that.
Totally agree! Your last point about being meek and quiet is crucial. Two heads equals a monster. No one wants a contentious wife, huge red flag.
There is nothing wrong for women to not want to have childrens if marriage is not in the picture for them and they want to remain celibate in order to dedicate themselves to serve God. Christian women who want to get married but don’t want to have childrens are not right with God. And those who limit themselves to just have 2 or 3 kids had been deeply influenced by feminism. Traditional women and traditional man want to have many childrens.
Men preferring virgins (for lifelong marriage, not one-night stands or short-term dissoluble relationships) is hardwired and isn’t going away. One of the largest documented differences in male/female psychology is the difference in how relationship jealousy is experienced. Female jealousy is skewed towards emotional jealously (“does he love her”) male jealousy is skewed towards sexual jealousy (“did she have sex with him”).
See John Archer, University of Central Lancashire, specifically the section under “Sexual Conflict.”
Note: this paper takes the evolutionary psychology approach but the metrics studied don’t depend on evolutionary theory – equally valid for Christian creationists. Perfectly consistent with God’s word on natural law as written by Paul in Romans.
As a woman, a lot of these are also what I want in a man. Athletic body, clear skin, and a full head of hair (not long hair, though). No debt, must be a virgin, and no tattoos. They must want to he fathers and have some type of domestic skills (mowing the lawn, basic home and car Management etc). I like that I can hold myself to these standards and in turn ask for the same!
Thank you for this post.
Honestly, I never understood the backlash you or Noah got for writting such things. As you say, there are women who don’t care what men think or prefer and they have the right to choose any type of life they want – but if you’re bothered by someone else’s posts, expressing a different point of view, you can just ignore them and move on … Live and let live.
One thing I’d like to say about tattoos, is that if you are a young woman who has them, if you have any income, use it now to get the tattoos removed!
I was in college when I got two tattoos. Thankfully I graduated with no debt, and when I started making money, I had very few responsibilities. I regretted my tattoos and learned that you can have them removed via laser treatment. It is painful and expensive, but I considered the long term cost of having the tattoos versus the temporary pain and expense and decided it was worth it to have them removed. I am sooo glad I did! I would have felt so stupid growing old with them.
If you don’t have the resources to get them removed than I agree with Lori, nothing you can do about it now.
However, if you are willing to make sacrifices, getting them removed is financially possible, especially if you are still young and don’t have a lot of responsibilities yet. Just wanted to share!
Treat the women in your family and all women with respect. Serve in your church, mentor young men, help older people in your church with their needs, build relationships with the older godly men in your church. Be frugal with money and make wise decisions. Don’t be frivolous and materialistic. Find a job and work at it with all your might whether or not it is your “dream job”. Doing this shows you can provide. Read Gods word daily, if you struggle with sexual temptation get covenant eyes and and an accountability partner. Don’t be a player and date frivolously…don’t lead women on, be clear with your intentions. That’s all I can think of for now!
Assertiveness. Conservative women expect their husbands to be leaders of their home. Confidence is highly attractive, as well as being driven, hardworking, and exhibits traits of potentially being a great father one day.
By even asking a variation of the question, “What do I have to do to get women to like me,” you’ve already disqualified yourself from most women.
A high quality man who catches the eye of women isn’t concerned about attracting women. He’s concerned about being the best man he can be.
Get in shape. Work to excel in your career. Work to become a better leader in church, extracurricular activities, and everything else you involve yourself in. Use your free time to shake hands with the kind of people who can help you learn to be a leader in every facet of your life.
Women will never be impressed by someone who is looking to change himself to “get women to like him.” They are impressed by men who are working to be the best man they can be and know they don’t need the approval of others to excel.
What you need is a change of focus.
Good advice. When I was younger, I was really tempted to have a tattoo. What stopped me was back then I was always changing my mind about things and I knew that A) I would regret it as soon as I had it or B) I would change my mind about the design have another one done and possibly end up covered with them. Neither option appealed. I used to find being indecisive back then annoying, but in this case it helped me make the right decision!.
Yash, women prefer debt free virgins without tattoos. ? And honestly just men who understand biblical roles and want to follow God’s Word with all their hearts. That is the most attractive thing in the world for a godly woman. Don’t worry, most godly women won’t have tons of unrealistic expectations.
I’m teaching my daughter to look for a strong Christian and a hard worker. That is what makes a high quality man in my eyes. My daughter has a sunny personality, laughs at all jokes and puns and is very tender hearted, so for her personally a gentle man with a sense of humor would suit her well. Also because she is very smart I think she’d have an easier time submitting to a smart man but being smart does not change the quality of a man. Finally a high quality man must be secure in who he is. Insecure people will do you in and/or make you miserable. Whether he is tall or short he must be comfortable in his masculinity. I’m taller than the average man and because of how men react to my height I can tell a lot about them. I’ve seen men who are 5’-6” be more secure and masculine than men who are over 6’-0”. I’d definitely tell my daughter to pay more attention to a man’s self confidence than a man’s height. My husband who is tall (even taller than me) put it best when asked if he would ever date a woman taller than him. He replied, “I’m man enough to handle any woman”.
Finally a high quality man must be secure in who he is. Insecure people will do you in and/or make you miserable. Whether he is tall or short he must be comfortable in his masculinity. I’m taller than the average man and because of how men react to my height I can tell a lot about them. I’ve seen men who are 5’-6” be more secure and masculine than men who are over 6’-0”. I’d definitely tell my daughter to pay more attention to a man’s self confidence than a man’s height. My husband who is tall (even taller than me) put it best when asked if he would ever date a woman taller than him. He replied, “I’m man enough to handle any woman.”
A high quality man:
– Has a good career, works hard at it, is ambitious, successful, steady and honest. You don’t have to be a rich man, but yes, you must feed her and the children.
– Protects his family, every day, every hour, every minute, from the thousands of predators that swarm our world. Your wife and children are precious gems, and there will be an infinite number of predators who want to despoil them.
– Listens carefully to his wife. Even though you are the leader of the household, her feminine intuition is powerful (especially in regards to the house, children, and neighbors). Respect her advice, for she knows you better than anyone. When she is wrong, smile and don’t worry about it. Love her above all rubies and diamonds.
– Leads! But does not need to get angry or abusive. A true leader is respected for what he is and does, not because he is abusive.
– Shields his family from the real world. The real world is a cruel and evil place. Yes, you might fight it off with every ounce of fury that God has granted to us men when our families are at risk. But then you must turn to your family with a face full of love and joy.
– Is modest, not boastful, but proud of his accomplishments.
– Is spiritual. Take time for your own soul. Your wife and family will see that glow in you and will be attracted and warmed by it.
– Never drink, use drugs, or any of that. If you have a drinking or drug problem, don’t even consider trying to start a family.
I think what traditionalist women look for is men is strength of character, Christian morality and a strong work ethic.
I completely agree that there is nothing wrong or sinful in a woman not wanting marriage or children – provided that she keeps herself pure and dedicates her life to the service of God in other ways.
But if a woman marries she submits her body to her husband and her womb to God. Birth control is a sinful rejection of God’s purpose and design for marriage, for sexual intimacy and for us as women.
You have asked a good question. With nephews of similar age as what you are, I could pretend I am in part speaking to my nephews?
Of course being a Christian is essential. Showing the fruits of the spirit in your life and following Christ’s commandments are also.
Some practical applications or examples could include (and you can
adapt these to fit your life):
A young man submits to those in authority be it the law, his employer, his church… He is honest in business dealings. He does not waste money foolishly but makes do with an older vehicle so he has more money to lay away for his future home and family support or to share with the needy. He volunteers to do repairs at the church instead of spending unnecessary time on his phone. He helps his elderly neighbors by mowing their lawn or clearing snow from their driveway instead of waxing his vehicle again. He could perhaps be a good role model to the “fatherless “ boys in the community by taking them camping, etc. A young lady is sure to notice a young man talking and taking an interest in children and if you can go shoot some baskets with the energetic youngsters after church the parents would undoubtedly appreciate it also as they fellowship with each other. When the youth go volunteer away from home for a week (such as cleaning up after a hurricane) he ensures that the young ladies are safe, secure, and supported in this strange setting as they may feel homesick or unsure of themselves. Read Titus 2.
Read the whole New Testament!
All 100% true, this is just the bare minimum standard for any decent woman. I understand mistakes are made sometimes but they stick with you, so make wise choices.
On behalf of all of us who waited for marriage and were so often ridiculed for being over 18 and still virgin – I truly wish that men would be much more assertive about saying that they would only wish to marry a virgin and (frankly) in condemnation of fornication and promiscuity.
I would have settled for some degree of honesty.
Yea true, if a woman say that she want to get married but don’t want childrens or she have 2 or 3 childrens then decide that she don’t want more and take some measures to not reproduce, her reasons for not wanting more chidrens are selfish reasons, like the love of money.
Today in this hyper sexualised society, if you don’t have a girlfriend or a wife and you’re over the age of 18, worldly people automatically think or assume that you’re watching porn daily. Also a lot of atheists believe that teenagers cannot control themselves and are all fornicating.
You should have self-respect and self-worth. high standards and not settle for a woman below your standard. Take a stand for what you believes. Do your best to become the best version of yourself mentally, physically,financially,spiritually.
It’s true and not true. Jacob had to work for years to get Rachel. David had to go to war and come back alive in order to marry the daughter of king Saul. David wasn’t even the King yet but he already had great potential and he done the work necessary to get his wife. Men become the best version of themselves in their mid-30’s to mid 40’s if they maximize their potential.
These are just this particular man’s preferences. I know men personally that like short hair on women because that’s their preference. They think short hair makes the woman look younger.
Also, just a side note, not all skin issues are caused from gut imbalance. Some skin issues, including acne are from hormone imbalance. Of course eating organic foods in whole form is always best like you said.Most people(that are not certified to diagnose health issues) are very quick to blame gut imbalance when hormone imbalance is the issue.
Hormone issues come from gut issues.
You are mostly right ,Lori. But in some cases gut health doesn’t effect hormones. Exposure to chemicals from plastice, shampoos,soaps, ect. cause endocrine disruption. I know from personal experience with my son, who had early signs of puberty at eight years old. The Endocrinologist was wonderful. My son’s gut health was great(we do a Weston A. Price diet) but we found out he was sensitive to chemicals in hygiene products. Once we changed those hormones settled. I am not a doctor so this is not medical advice. Just my experience. Not trying to be disrespectful to your knowledge but wanted to share my knowledge with you. Everyone and every situation is different. Important to remember that before giving out one sided advice.
One note: Mothers do teach your daughters not to be vain in physical beauty. Yes, it is good to take care of our temples with healthy lifestyle. But teach your daughters about natural beauty. Beauty is not paying thousands of dollars a year at the hair salon and nail salon or on toxic make-up and “beauty” creams. Remind them what real beauty is. Real beauty is not the air brushed model in the magazine. Real beauty does come from within a soul that’s full of Jesus and a healthy lifestyle. These man lists are fun but never cover how to achieve the beauty that is pleasing to our creator.