A True Story of a Wife’s Faithfulness to an Unfaithful Husband

A True Story of a Wife’s Faithfulness to an Unfaithful Husband

Written By Mother Dearest on this post.

My maternal great grandparents separated and my great grandmother left the home and crossed the border to a neighboring country, never to be seen again. (She remarried and we met our half-relatives decades later, but not her because she’d passed away long before). She left my grandmother, who was an only girl and the eldest, to raise her four brothers herself. She was only about 11 years old. Many women came in and out of the home but none stayed so my grandmother was the “mother” to her brothers.

English missionaries came to our country and preached the gospel, set up schools and hospitals. My grandmother was born again and she learned to read and write. Her Bible was her most prized possession. She vowed that when she married, she would honour God by never getting divorced. She didn’t want her children to endure what she had. When she married my grandfather, she bore him two sons and seven daughters. She was a committed homemaker and a loving wife.

My grandfather’s family, which was wealthier and more influential was not happy that the marriage had produced only two sons (he was an only son) so they mounted a campaign to either oust her or find my grandfather a second wife (polygamy is constitutionally recognized in our country although the church denounces it). Back then, people didn’t know enough to realize that the sex of a child is determined by the father, indeed many still don’t today in Africa. My grandmother trusted in the Lord to keep her home intact and she extended kindness to her in-laws in return for their disdainful regard for her.

Eventually, my grandfather had an affair with a much younger woman that his sister had recommended would bear him sons. He left home and moved in with her. She bore him two daughters in quick succession, and the relationship was rocky. She was not a good homemaker and a little self-centered perhaps because of her youth. My grandfather missed the comforts of his home and bitterly regretted his affair. His mistress was quarrelsome and depressed because she hadn’t had sons and felt threatened. She made his life miserable complaining night and day and accusing him of secretly planning to return to his wife. In the meantime, my grandmother prayed that her husband would come home.

She continued to run his farms and keep all his businesses in good order in the hope that he would someday return. Once when he was away working in a different part of the country (he was in the post colonial armed forces), word came to my grandmother that the other woman had run away with a lover and abandoned the little girls in the house she shared with my grandfather. The older girl of about four had a horrible skin infection on one of her legs. My grandmother set off for their house immediately. She wept to find the children all alone, hungry, dirty, and afraid. It reminded her of the days after her own mother had abandoned them as children.

Determined to keep her history from repeating itself, she fed the girls and cleaned them up. She took them to a nearby dispensary and had a doctor treat the poorly older girl. She thanked the neighbor who had tipped her off and took the girls home with her. She introduced them to her children as their sisters and enrolled them in the missionary school. It was a number of weeks before my grandfather returned to his mistress’s house and found it abandoned except for a letter from my grandmother.

He came back home to find his daughters in robust health. His wife welcomed him home and forgave him. Their marriage was stronger and my grandfather loved and appreciated his wife more than ever. She later went on to bear him two more sons and years later, my grandfather was born again too. None of my grandmother’s children are divorced (the mistress’s older daughter is divorced and alone after several failed relationships, but the younger was married until the day she died).

My grandmother’s faith in action had a profound effect on my mother and on me. Our love for God is in a way an inheritance from her. My own mother faithfully loved my father through thick and thin and was by his side as he breathed his last. During one of our premarital counseling one-on-one sessions, the pastor’s wife (who had been trained by my grandmother in the church’s mothers’ union) said to me, “Your mother left her home and family to marry your father and create a loving home for you and your siblings and never looked back. So did your grandmother. Remember these women always. Honor their commitment by keeping yours. Go and marry for life like they did.” Those words have stayed close to my heart.

My prayer always is that my great grandmother’s divorce may be the last one in my family tree. And so my mother and I vowed to tell these stories candidly to our children so that they can remember that divorce destroys, forgiveness and restoration are possible, and wholeness can be restored in a hopeless situation by God’s grace. I urge wives to be the one guaranteed place in this harsh world where their husbands can be assured of finding grace and forgiveness because we too have been redeemed and forgiven so much more by God’s grace.

Wherefore they are no more twain, but one flesh. What therefore God hath joined together, let not man put asunder.
Matthew 19:6

23 thoughts on “A True Story of a Wife’s Faithfulness to an Unfaithful Husband

  1. The only time I think divorce should be a valid option is in abusive relationships. Other than outright abuse, you vowed to work it out for better or worse. Especially when kids are involved it isn’t about you and your ego anymore…

    1. this is good story but your opinion on divorce is an opinion and not necessarily biblical. There are two provisions for divorce in scripture where it is not sinful. Sexual immorality: Matthew 19:9 9 “And I say to you: whoever divorces his wife, except for sexual immorality, and marries another, commits adultery.” and desertion on the part of an unbelieving spouse: 1 corinthians 7:10-16

      1. Actually there isn’t any reason for divorce…those exceptions where for the brothel period or engagement period back in the day. Once married its a permanent covenant. If divorce does happen by chance you should remain single or reconcile and remarry.

        1. Kevin, those are scriptural reasons given by the apostle Paul and Christ himself As the two exceptions for divorce. Are you suggesting that they were wrong? Unless you have scripture to prove your point, you are incorrect.

        2. What’s the authority on this? How can you distinguish between a betrothal and marriage by Christs spoken word? Is this based on the original Greek/Hebrew? I am very curious. I have never heard this. I know in the example of Mary and Joseph he sought to break the betrothal?

          1. “Many people misunderstand the exception clause that Jesus gives here regarding immorality or unchastity. What needs to be understood here, is that Jesus is speaking to a Jewish audience in these verses, and Matthew is the “Jewish gospel.” Most scholars agree that Matthew was directed towards Jews, more so than the other gospels. It has, by far, the most references to Jewish laws and traditions, which is critical in understanding the meaning of the “immorality” being discussed here. In Jewish marriage there was a betrothal period which was similar to an engagement except was more binding than that. They were pledged to be married, but the man could give her a writ of divorce during the betrothal, if he found her not to be a virgin. This is covered in Deut. 22:13-21.

            This is the only “divorce” that is allowed anywhere in the Bible, and you’ll notice that it is before the consummation of the marriage, or immediately after. Many people try to use the immorality clause to suggest that God tolerates divorce, but this was specific to the Jews, and only before the actual marriage.

            There is no provision for gentiles to divorce ever. For us to divorce and remarry under any circumstance is adultery, period”

        3. Kevin, I see you put quotations around your response but provided no source. What is the scholarly source for your argument? Do many biblical historians agree on this? If not, why not? In fact, most biblical historians agree that this is a provision for divorce that applies to both Jew and gentile.

          You also said that there is no provision for divorce for gentiles yet the provision Paul makes was from 1 Corinthians, a book written to Corinth, which was A predominately gentile church (although it did include some Jews).

          You are not providing sound arguments for your case, I’m afraid.

          1. Kevin, I meant to add – if this provision was only meant to apply to Jews, how are we to discern which New Testament laws and provisions only apply to Jews and not gentiles, when Christ himself did not even make this distinction?

          2. Hi Kevin, I read the article you shared.

            A few points. This gentleman stated at the beginning of this article that his beliefs were something “God told him” yet there is no evidence that what “God told him” was brought before any other body of believers to test whether his beliefs were actually sound and hold up against scripture. If this man can say “God told me something” what is stopping anyone from doing the same without it being brought before a body of believers to test it? Joel Osteen believers God tells him things that are totally unbiblical.

            Second, this guy has zero credentials as a biblical historian. He claims a different definition of the word fornication is being used, yet he provides no reference to the original Greek and according to his biography is not a biblical scholar. Where did he get the idea that the word fornication means what he claims it means in that passage?

            All sorts of problems with this article in terms of validity. Unfortunately it is wholly unconvincing for your argument…

  2. Such a wonderful story of redemption! People always deserve a second chance and it’s always nice to see how God can change people! Unfortunately, it didn’t work for my parents. My father has been unfaithful and forgiven by my mother multiple times and he never kept his promises to my mother. They ended up divorcing and I have to say, as much as I dislike divorce, this was the best decision for my mother because she was finally out of this loop of constant betrayal. Some people, like my father, are unable to change.

  3. People who make the kind of enormous sacrifices this woman did are in a position to be powerful witnesses. I would like to encourage dear friends who are struggling with some aspect of the faith, but it’s very easy for me to say what’s right–I’m happy! What do I know of their trials? But here’s someone who was SEVERELY tested and came out blessed and a blessing to many.

  4. Wonderful story. I would like to tell you mine. Please leave my name off of this story…as many I know now do not know our past.

    My husband and I had been married about 5 years. He and I both were Christians. He was not a womanizer, he did not look at other woman, and I never felt threatened that he would have an affair. We had our first child, I was not familiar with raising a child, I came from a divorced home and had no training from my mom. I tried my best, but looking back, and again this is not an excuse for him, but I put ALL my attention into the child. My husband took back seat. A young woman started working in a clerical position for the company where my husband worked. She worked closely with him in the office. Yes, you guessed it, they had an affair. My child was almost 1 yr old and he left us for this other woman. I was devastated, I lost 30 lbs. in one month. This woman wasn’t even a Christian, and really no morals at all! I prayed, I had conversations with my minister, I didn’t know what I was going to do.

    My husband and I spoke and he said he had fallen out of love with me. Every conversation we had ended up with me crying. (Funny, thing my minister told me to stop doing that, and stop asking him to come home, just be joyful and happy when you see him…and of course keep praying). After two months my husband called and crying asking me if he could come home. He started seeing the real woman he had left us for what she really was, a party person, dabbled in drugs, flirtatious to other men. I took him back. Was it easy? Of course not….did I throw it in his face with every fight? You bet! (Which I am now aware was wrong!) Here were are now ….38 years married. We have both grown so much in our faith, we ended up having 7 children. People often ask us if we are newlyweds because our love for each other is so present. Nobody in our lives now (Except relatives) know our history. I wouldn’t do that to his reputation. God healed our family. There is life after an affair.

  5. Hello,

    Could anyone provide names of churches where biblical womanhood is honored and taught? I can’t seem to find one! I would especially be interested in knowing of some that exist in Pennsylvania.

    Thank you,

    Adam

    1. Hi Adam, They are hard to find, that’s for sure. My husband suggested calling Grace Community Church (John MacArthur’s church) and see if they have any churches near you which teach the Bible without compromise. John has a yearly pastors’ conference in which many pastors from around America attend.

    2. Churches affiliated or descending from the Mennonite Churches often still keep Biblical roles in the churches (big in Pennsylvania) along with some churches of Christ and some more fundamental Baptist churches and church of God. I think it will be more hit or miss with even those churches how the women are expected to act outside of the church services.

    3. The more we grow in our faith, the more affinity we have with the Anabaptist church. There are no Anabaptist churches in our area, but we are friends with several Anabaptist families. Unlike many Baptist families we know, the Anabaptist wives are truly joyful and seem to more readily accept the roles God has given them. A lot of the women we know in more mainstream Baptist church seem to act as though submission is a drudgery and only submit to and serve their husbands out of weary obligation.

    4. There is a link for Black Robe Regiment on Pastor Chuck Baldwin’s site (chuckbaldwinlive dot com) They are listed by state. I’m sure its not all-inclusive, but where you find one, they will know of others.

  6. I love when experience proves the truths written in Scripture:

    “Likewise, wives, be subject to your own husbands, so that even if some do not obey the word, they may be won without a word by the conduct of their wives, when they see your respectful and pure conduct.” 1 Peter 3:1-3

    If only more women responded like the woman in this testimony.

  7. This is such a beautiful and encouraging story. Thank you for sharing something so personal and close to your heart for our edification. God bless you and your family.

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