Feminism Destroys Boys
More and more boys are growing up fatherless due to the women’s movement. All feminists cared about were their “rights” and getting what they wanted no matter the cost. The cost? boys. This is way too high of a cost since boys grow up to be men and all cultures need hard-working men to survive.
In the article Boys in Crisis, Warren Farrell says some powerful things against feminism even though he championed it years ago. Now, however, he sees the harm it has done to boys. Back in my parent’s day, there were very few divorces. Marriages were for life and children grew up with a mother and a father. Girls grew up to stay home and raise their children. Boys grew up to work hard and provide for their families. Now many boys are growing up with single mothers and this is devastating for them. Boys NEED fathers to toughen them up and be men. Men need to work hard and find their purpose in providing for their families. Feminism has stolen this from men.
“Boys with minimal or no father involvement often look to their dads as role models, but because they don’t have much time with their dads (due to divorce), their role models are more ‘straw men’ or ‘straw dads.’ These boys don’t benefit from overnights, hang-out time, and the many hours it takes for boys to bond with their dads, and trust that their feelings won’t be dismissed. Dads tend to build bonds with their sons by, for example, playing games and rough-housing, and then use the resulting bond as leverage for their sons to ‘get to bed on time’ lest there be ‘no playing tomorrow night.’ This boundary enforcement teaches boys postponed gratification.
Boys with minimal or no father involvement more frequently suffer from an addiction to immediate gratification. For example, with minimal or no father involvement there is a much greater likelihood of video game addiction, more ADHD, worse grades in every subject, less empathy, less assertiveness (but more aggression), fewer social skills, more alienation and loneliness, more obesity, rudderlessness, anger, drugs, drinking, delinquency, disobedience, depression and suicide.”
He goes on to explain that Hitler’s army went after the fatherless and so does ISIS. These young men are vulnerable to joining groups that are mean and angry. Divorce causes children to grow up to be angry. I have seen it. Everyone bemoans the plight of single women today but most times it is the women who have chosen to be single. “Single motherhood has grown so common in America that demographers now believe half of all children will live with a single mom at some point before the age of 18.” Marriage is no longer valued. Women have sex with men without a marriage commitment. If they do get married, they have no clue how to be a wife who loves and respects her husband. Feminism has destroyed womanhood, too.
There are women in the chat room who have fought for their marriages and won. Some of them had affairs and some of them had husbands who had affairs. Everyone was telling them to get divorced but then they would come into the chat room or get a hold of me somehow and I would encourage them to fight for their marriages using 1 Peter 3:1-6. One young woman had a husband who was in an affair for five years and she was ready to divorce him. He wanted her back but everyone told her she would be crazy to go back to him. We encouraged her to go back and become a godly wife. Now, they are expecting their third baby and having “butterflies” for each other. They love each other deeply.
Another woman went back to her husband after they had both had affairs. Now, he is heavily involved in church and being a strong father to his sons; teaching them the ways of godly manhood. She adores her husband. God is good and bringing beauty out of ashes to those who trust Him. There are other women in there who have fought for and won their husbands back and others who are still in the fight but they aren’t giving up. They know what’s at stake not only for them and their husband’s eternal souls, but for the least of these – their children. Their children need their father and mother under one roof.
Life isn’t about us. It’s about God and living our lives the way He has clearly spelled out in Scripture. He created marriage. He created a husband and a wife to have children and raise them for Him. Everything we do should be for His glory. He is glorified when we live for Him and obey Him.
“Hard, hard marriages that persevere in faithfulness, year in and year out, against all odds, tell a great truth about Christ and his church. The blood-bought new covenant will never be broken — ever. That is what is different. That is what is new about the new covenant over the old covenant. He secures its permanence by his blood. And that newness is why Jesus raised the standards of faithfulness in marriage above the standards of the Old Testament law.” (John Piper)
What therefore God hath joined together, let not man put asunder.
Mark 10:9
15 thoughts on “Feminism Destroys Boys”
This post makes me so very thankful for my husband and his involvement with our son. I’ve often thought that much of what is wrong with the youth today is the lack of a father in their lives. The sad thing is, I’ve seen cases where the father that is not with the child’s mother, wants to be involved with their child, but the poor single mom that everyone feels sorry for has poisoned the child’s mom toward their dad. What is a man to do? It is just another testament that God hates divorce. And even the father’s that “stay” are sometimes so disrespected and treating so lowly that he could never teach a young man anything for fear of his wife’s wrath. Women, you are being deceived when you are demanding “your rights” and refusing to submit and honor your husband– after all, like it or not, he is the one God declared your provider, protector and head. The sooner you realize and embrace that, the sooner that hate that you feel in your heart will disappear and you can start to feel some peace. As Lori says over and over again, God’s ways are best.
My husband told me one time that he had to teach our son how to be a man, and I thought on that and realized how very right he is— I am a woman and have no clue what it is like being a man, so how could I ever teach someone? The closest I could come would be a feminized version of a male and that is not good for anyone. I will use football as an example. If I tried to coach football, how sad would that be? I have never played under those lights on a Friday night, I have never once suited up and been hit by people two to three times my size, not once have I felt the exhilaration of helping my team win, so how could I expect to be a good coach?
Hi Lori. I’ve stumbled upon your blog recently and have found your posts very thought provoking.
I try my best to be a meek gentle spirit who lives a life unto Jesus. My best does not always cut it but I pray that God will mold me and shape me as a potter does the clay.
I would say that 1 Corinthians 13 speaks to my heart quite distinctly as I think this truth does to everyone.
“Though I speak with the tongues of men and of angels, but have not LOVE, I have become sounding brass or a clanging cymbal. And though I have the gift of prophecy, and understand all mysteries and all knowledge, and though I have all faith, so that I could remove mountains, but have not LOVE, I am nothing. And though I bestow all my goods to feed the poor, and though I give my body to be burned, but have not LOVE, it profits me nothing. LOVE suffers long and is kind; LOVE does not envy; LOVE does not parade itself, is not puffed up; does not behave rudely, does not seek its own, is not provoked, thinks no evil; does not rejoice in iniquity, but rejoices in the truth; bears all things, believes all things, hopes all things, endures all things. LOVE never fails.”
I am reminded that even my best efforts in all things are nothing if I have not love. My prayer is to reflect Christ’s love in all that I say and do.
Have a lovely day.
Gina
Ken sure taught our sons to be a man, even when I wasn’t thrilled about it but I am happy he did because they are strong, good men now. I have seen way too many women try to stop their husbands with their sons and it doesn’t turn out good. God created children to need a mother and a father. Both are equally important in the development of healthy children. Thank you, HH!
Thank you, Dena. Yes, all of us should have this goal as believers. Blessings!
*that should have said “the mom poisoned the child toward their father”
in my opinion, and I am sure most of you would agree with me,
In my opinion, this line was not necessary and it gave away too much.
You’re right, Danny. I took it out.
I am older now. My child is a successful, happy adult. I was a young widow – after 7 years of marriage. I read so much on your blog that seems to condemn me for being a single working mother in order to keep our home, farm, and support my child . Now, this article seems to condem my child for being raised without a father.
I guess you think I would have been a “Godly” mother if we had lost everything, and my child had been taken away from me and put in foster care.
How can I condemn you, Nancy, when I don’t even know you? There will always be exceptions because life is hard and fallen, but when the exceptions become the majority something is terribly wrong.
I am sorry for what you have had to go through and I’m sorry the church or relatives didn’t help provide for you as they are told to in the Bible but I’m sure you can agree with me that the best thing for children is to have a father in the same home with them and a mother who stays home full time with them.
Nancy, studies have found that the outcome of children from single mother families is vastly different depending on if the father is alive or dead. YES fathers are absolutely necessary, like mothers. But God does become a father to the fatherless. All the promiscuity with girls with absentee fathers and the lengthened adolescence with boys with absentee fathers is not anymore of a concern with father’s who have passed than with two parent families.
You are so right, Michelle. I have several friends who lost their husbands to cancer when their children were young and they all grew up to be great adults because there is not the bitterness and anger that comes from divorce. God even states He cares for the widow and fatherless but He hates divorce for a reason.
Thank you for this article.
What is the chat room you wrote about, in this article? I am interested, because I was raised by a single-feminist-mother, and I don’t know what a loving marriage looks like. You are right: the new covenant through CHRIST makes the impossible possible. My husband had affairs many times in the first 7 years of my marriage (an he was raised by a single mom). We have 3 kids, completing our 9th year of marriage, attending counseling, reading the Bible more and praying more & our marriage is improving, but I would like to received advice about being a Godly wife and mother.
Thanks!
Most women today are really to blame for Feminism. Years ago, most women were very old fashioned and Real Ladies altogether. MGTOW is really the much better option for many of us very smart single men now which will certainly save us a lot of trouble from these type of women today.
Gloria Steinem’s feminism was about equal rights and opportunities for women. This weaponized #MeToo version of feminism, where under the law “the man is always guilty” needs to go. Until that happens, no male child is safe.
Well feminism certainly destroyed many of us good single men from finding love, now that these women are really men haters altogether which they really are very pathetic altogether to begin with. And there are a lot of us good men nowadays that have to deal with this mess, which these women are really to blame why so many of us men are still single now as i speak unfortunately.