Dogged Determination to Stay at Home
Written by a woman who wants to remain anonymous who was determined to stay home with her children.
In order for me to stay home with my children, I grew a lot of my food and I taught myself to can it. I bought fabric at the thrift store and taught myself how to make my clothes and my children’s clothes. I hung my clothes on a clothesline to dry. We installed a wood stove in our fireplace and heated our home with a wood stove instead of paying a expensive power bill. I drove an older car. I learned to sew and made craft items to sell at local craft shows to contribute to my husbands income. I found a bent can grocery store and bought my grocery items there. I gleaned lots of information from the older women in my church on how they saved money. I turned the air conditioner off in my home and used a fan until my children became too uncomfortable then I turned it back on only during the hottest months. I prayed for wisdom and knowledge and for God’s provision.
During this time, God blessed us with two new homes that we had built and provided all our needs. When God saw that I was willing to work hard and say “no” to worldly things, He blessed us continually. I refused to leave my babies in the care of others because I wanted to be the one that cared for them.
Many mothers want a easy way to stay home by just laying on the couch all day. That is not possible! It is a big commitment and takes dogged determination to learn things to be able to stay home. It is not for lazy mothers. It is much easier in my opinion to go to work than to teach and train your own children and cook healthy meals every day.
It IS possible for everyone but it takes a lot of work. I worked from early morning getting up to nurse my baby and worked until sometime 11:00 pm before I went to bed. I remember canning my garden vegetables after my children went down for the night. I also baked my own healthy bread for my family.
I was a 21 year old mother at the time with a newborn and a three year old! Being young is not a excuse to not learn to do things. I would be happy to help anyone that wants any advice on how to save money to stay home. I did all if this with four people living on one income and my husband did NOT have a college education and did not make a lot of money.
The heart of her husband safely trusts her;
So he will have no lack of gain.
Proverbs 31:11
15 thoughts on “Dogged Determination to Stay at Home”
A great reminder to all of us mothers that stay home to always stay frugal and use our husband’s earnings in a good steward way. Thanks!
Can you share tips on saving ?
Hi Karla,
This was written by a woman in the chat room and I asked her if I could make it into a post a few months ago so I have forgotten who wrote it! But here are some of my most popular posts from women and how they learned to live simply at home:
http://lorialexander.blogspot.com/2014/04/50-ways-we-paid-off-her-house-with-one.html
http://lorialexander.blogspot.com/2013/08/the-myth-of-needing-two-incomes.html
http://lorialexander.blogspot.com/2015/03/stretching-her-husbands-hard-earned.html
This just proves that if you really want to stay at home and raise your OWN children, you can!
I love what she said, “it is much easier in my opinion to go to work then to teach and train your own children”.
This is so true!
Great post!
Sometimes, even with dogged determination to stay home, it’s still impossible.
I grow much of our own food (fruit and vegetables and eggs) in season. I buy cheap “seconds” fruit direct from the growers ($5 buys me a great big box of blemished fruit that is perfectly fine to eat) and bottle it. I make jam and chutneys. I buy our groceries from the cheapest places possible.
We heat our home with a wood burner which also heats out hot water. I hang all our washing to dry it, we don’t use a dryer. We don’t have air conditioning. All our meals are cooked from scratch using the cheapest possible ingredients. Our clothes mostly come from secondhand shops. My car is older than me.
I do all this and more and yet … I STILL have to work part-time to make ends meet, just for us to survive. Not to buy luxuries (none of those for us!) but to pay for the basics – food, housing, clothing, medical bills etc.
Staying home is NOT possible for everyone.
I’ve actually been avoiding this blog lately because although I used to find it so encouraging with regards to submission etc. these latest posts on staying home don’t help me at all. In fact, they discourage me, because despite doing absolutely everything in my power to bring our household costs down, the reality is, in order for our 4 children to eat, I have to work part-time. And I’m sure there are many, many women in the same boat as me.
So am I not supposed to teach women to be keepers at home because some cannot, KAK? Many women have written to me and told me that they have quit their jobs/careers to come home and raise their own children because I teach what the LORD has commanded me to teach. God’s Word never comes back void. Keep praying and seeking the LORD in wisdom because with Him all things are possible and in the meantime, He will cover you with grace and His strength to do what you have to do.
Unfortunately, most women choose to go to work and leave their children in the care of others. They falsely believe that this is what they are supposed to do and it’s better for the children! Culture doesn’t support nor make it easy for mothers to be the ones home raising their children but God sure does!
I’m so sorry you are discouraged by the blog. I want to remind you that the Biblical definition of faith according to Hebrews 11 is the assurance of things hoped for, the evidence of things not seen”. Faith is believing God’s Word above what you can see. That means you will not see that God’s Word is true until you do it. It doesn’t always work out nicely on paper so you can be confident of your own word but God makes it work out when you step out in faith. I cannot tell you of all the ways God has provided for my family and other families I know of in unexpected ways. He can for you too!
Yes, I think of Abraham who went searching for that city without foundations because he knew without a doubt that he served a God who kept His promises even though he could not see them.
Hi M – For years I did “step out in faith” believing that God would provide – and my children nearly starved. I’ve shared bits and pieces of my story on here before but not going into any details of it now. But basically, it doesn’t just not work on paper – it just doesn’t work, full stop.
God HAS provided for us by providing a job I can do that fits in with my family. Since I started helping my husband support our family, God has blessed us in many different ways, totally unexpected things, and absolutely assured us of His presence in our lives. But He has not enabled me to stay home full-time.
Is the chat room available for everyone? How does one find it?
Here’s the link to it. You must join and then fill out the application and maybe allow a moderator to see your Facebook page.
https://www.facebook.com/groups/alwayslearningchatroom/
I didn’t realize it was a Facebook page. I don’t have a Facebook account so I won’t be able to join. If you ever find a way to have a forum where it doesn’t link to social media, I will be first in line to sign up! I would love the fellowship with other likeminded women. Thank you anyway!
I would love to do this more too. Thank you for the links. Too be perfectly honest, I have been too laxed int his area. I need to be a better wife in being a good steward of our money and home.
Then why are you discouraged if you see God at work in your situation?