“Obey Your Husband” Isn’t Biblical?

“Obey Your Husband” Isn’t Biblical?

Many Jezebels found my post The Jezebels Among Us and naturally despised it. I received many hateful and twisted comments on my Facebook page. I chose one to show you the lies they perpetuate upon “Christian” women today. In this first part, this woman quotes me first, then proceeds to explain how wrong I am.

“‘You won’t hear them teaching about submitting to and obeying their husbands or being keepers at home.’ Well yeah, because to preach THAT that would be Jezebellic, as in, rebellion towards God, distorting and polluting the Word of God to uphold a perverse, carnal, ungodly culture. They wouldn’t preach distortions like ‘obey your husband’ because that is not Biblical, it’s a cultural warping of God’s holy Word. But what you *would* hear ‘them’ preaching is what the Bible actually says: to be filled with the Spirit, to submit to one another out of reverence to Christ, and therefore, to love and respect one another. And who exactly do they teach that you should obey? They teach what the Bible says: to obey the commandments of Jesus because we love him and are not only his servants but his friends, to love one another because we are his disciples.”

I hope you are all easily able to tell the lies in her statement. The first part is clearly lies and has no basis for biblical truth. The second part is truth and comes from the Word of God. This is what false teachers do. They take a little bit of truth and mix it up with lies and come out with deceptions.

She believes that submitting to and obeying our husbands and being keepers at home is upholding a “perverse, carnal, and ungodly culture.” She, along with many others like her, carefully pick and choose what they want to obey. God clearly states that women are to obey their husbands in His Word. Titus 2:5 tells us that younger women are to be “obedient to their husbands.” Yes, most versions use the word “submit” but if you go to 1 Peter 3:6 all versions say, “Even as Sara obeyed Abraham, calling him lord: whose daughters ye are, as long as ye do well, and are not afraid with any amazement.” Yes, we are Sara’s daughters, if we love the Lord, and obey our husband, as Sara did, without being afraid because we trust in the Almighty God and His ways.

This woman is correct that we are to be filled with the Spirit and submit to one another but then she fails to explain who submits to who. Right after we are told to submit to one another (Ephesians 5:21), wives are commanded to submit to their husband (Ephesians 5:22). Husbands are told to submit to Christ by laying their lives down for their wives (Ephesians 5:25).  Children are to submit to parents (Ephesians 6:1) and servants obey their masters (Ephesians 6:5) yet she conveniently left out all of these verses. These are the “commandments of Jesus.”

Many today only teach the easy verses and fail to teach the harder and unpopular ones. They are teachers who will not endure sound doctrine; but after their own lusts shall they heap to themselves teachers, having itching ears; And they shall turn away their ears from the truth, and shall be turned unto fables” (2 Timothy 4:3, 4). Their made-up god is all about love but never about justice or giving the hard truths.

As women, we need to be especially careful about deception. If perfect Eve could be deceived, so can we. We must hide God’s Word in our heart “that we henceforth be no more children, tossed to and fro, and carried about with every wind of doctrine by the sleight of men, and cunning craftiness, whereby they lie in wait to deceive” (Ephesians 4:14). What this woman wrote sounds relatively good but it’s not. It’s part truth with a lot of deception. This is so common today that we must daily put on the full armor of God, including the “sword of the Spirit, which is the word of God” (Ephesians 6:17).

What she is teaching is perverse, carnal, and ungodly because she picks and chooses what she wants to believe instead of believing all of God’s Word and trusting that His ways are perfect for her. Yes, it takes a strong woman of God to live in submission and obedience to her husband. It also takes a woman who lays aside her “dreams and goals” to willingly and cheerfully stay home and raise the children that the Lord has blessed her with. These are what pleases the Lord and what He asks us to do despite what the Jezebels of our day teach and believe.

10 thoughts on ““Obey Your Husband” Isn’t Biblical?

  1. I always wonder what kind of men decide to marry these clamorous women. I’m just amazed that men find them attractive and wonder how happy they are to be married to another “man”.

    1. I’m not sure men know what these women are truly like until after they marry them or hope they’ll get better once their married. There are a lot of foolish women tearing their homes down these days, sadly.

  2. Here is what I found in my own walk with the Lord, as I have submitted to my husband in thought and deed, my husband has actually drawn closer to me in many ways. I honestly think he trusts me more with his heart. Now I need to obey the Word of God even if I do not see the blessing of it here on earth, but l thankfully have with my obedience in this area. I wonder how many women struggle with areas of their marriage where obeying this command would break loose and give victory?

    1. There are many, Robin, since God’s ways are always best and He even promises that women with disobedient husbands can win them without the word by living in subjection to them with godly behavior. Women have a lot of power to either build their homes up or tear them down.

  3. Lori,


    Part truth is not truth. Only whole truth is truth.

    I wonder what would have happened to our souls had our Lord chosen to only submit to a portion of His death, burial and resurrection. “Not my will but Thy will,” He prayed.

    I DON’T WANT MY WILL or MY WAYS. I must needs die to self and choose His will, His ways, His Word. Then, only then, happy am I.

    Give me all of God’s beautiful ways. Take this whole world; it offers me nothing of eternal value! Give me Jesus! His is the perfect recipe for marriage and life!


  4. It wouldn’t even have made sense if Paul had left the verse hanging without further explanation as to who was to submit to whom in submitting one to another. It would have been confusing because there would have not been any explanation as to what he meant by it.

    There is so much misinterpretation because of lack of wisdom and understanding and I think that’s how they get to their conclusions. They aren’t willing to hear from Him when they read His Word, they just simply decide it means what they imagine that it does or want it to mean.

    Thank you for your clarification on this! It’s very clear.

  5. “Discernment is not knowing the difference between right and wrong. It is knowing the difference between right and almost right.”
    ~ Charles H. Spurgeon

    You are so correct Lori! Well put! I love the Spurgeon quote above! We must be discerning….especially when people have *some* truth in their statement!! 🙂

  6. The church vastly downplays the possibility of active witchcraft in its midst.

    Rebellion against God’s word is the sin of witchcraft: 1 Sam 15:23. Those that practice rebellion time and again are …well …practicing witches.

    Who speaks of that in the midst of God’s people? We need to speak God’s language, then we may start to become real in Him and His Word —Jesus, the Christ.

  7. A lot of the problem with women who claim that they are not supposed to obey their husbands, then come up with some verse they’ve twisted out of context to prove the point, have believed the world’s philosophy. The church is supposed to influence the world, but unfortunately, the world influences the church, and they twist us into what they believe about marriage and the hierarchy in marriage. It’s a feminist belief.

    That is what’s happening in marriages in the Christian church. Feminism has seeped into the church so well, because Satan has been very crafty on how he’s done it. He has very subtly moved feminism into the church and the teaching, that it has crept in and has influence the teaching of the word of God. Pastors and teachers have become wimps and have been afraid of the backlash they would receive from the women of the church, as well as Society. So they refused to preach the whole word,. Then what they do preach, they skim over or they water it down, or both. Women are supposed to obey their husbands, just as husbands are supposed to give their lives for their wives, if that’s what they’re called to do. Women like to quote the verses that talk about submitting to each other, and husbands are. Laid their lives down for their wives, but they refused, those I know the truth, to learn the part about their obedience to him.

    if men would learn their role, and women would learn theirs, and they would encourage each other to live their roles, we wouldn’t have divorced so rampant in society, especially the church.

    I wish fminism and this false teaching that women aren’t supposed to obey their husbands, and wives are supposed to take over the family would be kicked out. They treat obeying your husband like heresy, which it’s not.

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